Really upset, M/C, sensetive

[Edensmum]

Last week I was 12 weeks pregnant. Now I am not. I found out on Tuesday that they baby had passed and went into labor, actual full blown labor on Wednesday night. I had not expected it to be as intense as it was. Thursday I had a D&C when the labor was not doing it and the pain was unbelievable.
I am so lost now, everything I had planned for the next year and those to come included this little one. Physically I am post partum, with all the post labor pain and issues and surgery ones on top of that. This is just so awful I am not sure what to do to get my equalibrium back.
I just feel so lost.

[maestramommy]

Oh, I'm so sorry! :hug:

[EllasMum]

Don't have any advice to offer - just wanted to send hugs. Feel better soon.

[lizajane]

oh my goodness, i am so so sorry for what you have endured. what a terrible loss. you have my prayers for healing your body and your heart.

[almostamom]

I'm so very sorry. You are in my thoughts. :hug:

[kijip]

:hug:

I am so sorry. That is a terrible loss to experience. Take time to grieve and to heal.

[new_mommy25]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[strollerqueen]

Talk to your doctor about grief counseling, and anti-depressants. There are a lot of miscarriage support groups out there, both in real life and online. I wish I would have gone some of these routes. Instead, I suffered in silence, (and cried myself to sleep every night.) It was a lot worse than I thought it would be, and just terrible for a while. But the truth is, it got easier as time went on. I just had to keep telling myself that so many pregnancies end in miscarriages in the first trimester, that that is why people don't typically make announcements until after that. So many things have to line up perfectly to make a healthy baby, and there are so many things that can go wrong along the way. It is just the way nature is, and the way we are designed to reproduce. Even though it totally stinks. Likely you will go on to have more successful pregnancies. Most people here have.

[LarsMal]

:hug: I am so sorry for your loss.

[Snow mom]

I am so sorry for your loss. I would encourage you to reach out to the people around you. You will be surprised how many people have been through similar experiences that you never knew about. So many people wait until their second trimesters to announce their pregnancies and if something happens earlier they never say _anything_ about it. Take the time you need to grieve for this baby, but remember that there is no way you could control what happened.


Hugs,
Lisa

[lubdubdeb]

I had 2 miscarriages between my second and third children, and it was so much harder than I thought it would be! Even having seen friends go through it, I really struggled. It is a death, and you have to give yourself time. The suggestion of counseling or medication are good, if you need that. But if you do or do not, it will take time to heal. Don't expect yourself to be back to normal in a few days.

I am very sorry!

[MontrealMum]

I'm so sorry for you loss. I'll be praying for healing for you and your family. :grouphug:

[sidmand]

I'm so sorry for you loss. Take care of yourself. Others have more advice than I have but I wanted to let you know that you are in many people's thoughts...

[hez]

I am very, very sorry for your loss.

Counseling was very helpful for me. So was journaling. :hug:

[ThreeofUs]

I'm so sorry about your loss! May you heal well, in all ways. Take the time you need to grieve, but talk to your OB about m/c support groups. These are really caring people who will know what you're talking about, and can help you.

{{hugs}}

[mommyp]

I am so sorry for your loss. I would encourage you to reach out to the people around you. You will be surprised how many people have been through similar experiences that you never knew about. So many people wait until their second trimesters to announce their pregnancies and if something happens earlier they never say _anything_ about it. Take the time you need to grieve for this baby, but remember that there is no way you could control what happened.

I agree with the above. I had a miscarriage before getting pregnant with DD and I didn't talk about it with anyone (except DH of course, and my parents/sisters on the phone). It was just too difficult. After I got PG with DD, I mentioned it to a few close friends and the support was amazing and I realized others have been through it too, I wished I had leaned on them a little earlier. Definitely grieve how you feel is best, I am so very sorry for your loss, I'm tearing up as I type this. :hug:

[cuca_]

I am very sorry for your loss.

[lisams]

I am so sorry for your loss.

[DietCokeLover]

I can't even begin to imagine how you feel. I'm so sorry for the loss of your little one and for all the dreams you had of him/ her.

[kdeunc]

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

[elephantmeg]

just wanted to offer hugs too. I am so sorry for your loss

[elektra]

I am so sorry. Both the physical and emotional pain sound horrible.
Take care.

[let73]

I wanted to tell you that I'm so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. I had 2 miscarriages before my DD was born....

It really was hard. I was depressed and started some anti-depressants(they helped). It was so helpful to attend a support group through a hospital. I read the following book which was pretty helpful:
http://www.amazon.com/Miscarriage-Women-Sharing-Marie-Allen/dp/0471548340/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225058459&sr=8-1

It was hard for my husband too. It was kind of like a "double whammy" for him. He saw me just lose it and cry everyday and was also grieving the loss of the pregnancies. He really benefitted from going to the support groups as well.

Please take care of yourself physically and emotionally....

[Mamma2004]

I am so tremendously sorry for your loss. Please allow yourself the time and space to grieve in your own way. I am thankful that this community is "here" for you when you are feeling otherwise lost.

Hugs and prayers,

[egoldber]

I am very sorry for your loss.

I agree that there are many people who have been there too. I had three miscarriages inbetween Sarah and Leah. But for me, reaching out IRL was just too painful. Some reading that helped me process is a book called A Silent Sorrow. I founf it very helpful.

Take care of yourself and give yourself time to grieve. You won't be over this tomorrow or next week or maybe even next year.

[Ceepa]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please be gentle with yourself.

[WatchingThemGrow]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

[shawnandangel]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

[KrisM]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

[brittone2]

I am so very sorry for your loss, and I hope you can heal physically and emotionally. I know there are many mamas here that can offer you resources and hugs whenever you need them.

[Expecting-girl]

I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. I've had two miscarriages. The pain and grief were so hard to deal with - but I encourage you to reach out to others. Feel free to email me.

I felt like all of my hopes and dreams ended. I still miss those babies too. Take care of yourself.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I am so sorry for your loss.

~Beth

[wellyes]

I'm sorry for your loss and wish you strength in this time of grief. Thank you for sharing your story.

[Melbel]

Sending prayers for strength, peace and healing. I am very sorry for your loss.

[trentsmom]

:hug5: I'm so sorry. When I had a miscarriage, one of the things that helped me was reading about other women's miscarriages. I would cry as I read each story. It helped me to know that I was not alone.

[Fairy]

I am so sorry.

:grouphug:

[pb&j]

I'm very sorry for your loss. Therapy or a support group (whether online or IRL) could be very helpful.

[KpbS]

So sorry for your loss. Hope this can be a time of healing for you.

[bubbaray]

I am sorry for your loss. Godspeed.

[buddyleebaby]

I have no words.
I'm so sorry, mama. :hug:

[SASM]

I am sooooo sorry about your loss. When I had my first m/c (I've had 2), relatives and freinds were sharing their m/c experiences with me ~ I was floored by how many of my loved ones had m/c's and I'd never known. It also really helped me to talk about it with whoever would listen. I think this was probably my way of remembering the life that we had created since I didn't have anything tangible to remember the "baby". You will get through this. I know that it doesn't feel like it but you will...trust me. I had an extremely rough time getting through my first (first preg and at 11.5 weeks gest) but after hearing about my loved ones' experiences and just giving it time, I started to heal. I actually consider my m/c's a blessing now. If I didn't ahve my first, I wouldn't have my beautiful son. If I didn't have my second, I wouldn't have my beautiful first daughter. I, personally, believe that God does have a plan ~ I cannot begin to tell you how many times I had to remind myself of that while I was healing.

HUGE hugs to you. I am going to try to email you. Sorry for the typos, etc. &^%$$^&* laptop!!!

ETA what I was going to email you. This except from "Baby Catcher" was part of an article on m/c that I found when I was trying to find comfort online after #1. Anyway...I do not remember the m/c article but I do remember the little story about "Spirit Baby" and found it extremely comforting during my difficult time of healing. I hope that you find this comforting as well: http://www.babycatcher.net/excerpt2.html

(((((hugs)))))

[DrSally]

I'm so sorry.

[JoyNChrist]

I am so, so sorry. It's just really awful...there's nothing like it.

I've been through 3 miscarriages in the past year...if you ever want to talk/vent, please feel free to PM me.

[MamaMolly]

Big hugs! I'm so sorry. :hug:

[dcmom2b3]

Oh, I'm so sorry. I know how awful it is. Please understand that right now you don't have to know *how* you're going to get your equilibrium back, just have faith that you will. It does get better.

:candle: for your angel

and one for mine, too :candle:

[shilo]

wishing you peace and healing as you grieve and recover physically.
lori

[JTsMom]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. :hug:

[jk3]

I'm so sorry. Thinking of you.

[MamaKath]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. I have been there, please feel free to pm if it is helpful to talk. Praying for healing for you- physical, emotional, and spiritual.

[lovin2shop]

I am also so sorry for your loss, it is such a difficult thing to go through both emotionally and physically. I agree with the previous advice, and wanted to add one thing that helped me was to have a keepsake that reminds me of my two angels. I picked out a necklace that in the abstract represents my family including the two babies that I lost and I wear it almost every day. Not sure this would help everyone, but I find myself holding on to it through out the day and it is comforting to me.