Peanut Allergies and School???

[TaChapm]

Jackson has had a peanut allergy for years now. We have known that it would get worse with exposure but have never seen him have a severe reaction to peanuts. We have never fed him peanuts...just found out about the allergy through a blood test. The other day he came home from school with VERY severe hives and was having a little difficulty breathing (not too bad but noticable). They had served PB&J sandwiches at school the day before and his class had been given peanut butter crackers for a snack that day. Although Jackson didn't eat them apparently that was enough exposure to push him over the edge. Our pediatrician told us we had reached a very serious point and that the next step would be for his airway to close up.

I spoke with the school and our ped. wrote a very stern letter to the school letting them know that Jackson could not return to school until his class was completely peanut free and had been cleaned of any peanut residue. They took peanuts off of the school menu which I was happy about because he goes to a shared computer lab and apparently just touching something that was touched by someone who ate peanuts is enough to cause his reaction. The told me that they can't prevent parents from packing peanuts in the lunches though. Does anyone know if this is right? I am thinking that if it could be a life or death situation for my son that they should at least try. They sent home a letter that was very vage saying that parents should be cautious about what they send to school but didn't explain how serious it is. My friend who has a son at the same school said he had no idea that just coming in contact with something that someone has touched could hurt him. I would at least like a letter saying how he can be exposed and why it is important not to send home those things to school.

Obviously I hate to be the parent doing this but after talking with our ped and allergist and understanding how severe it is I am scared out of my mind! I would appreciate any resources on how to deal with this and if I can make the school ban peanuts...legally. They say they don't think they can.

TIA!

ETA.....Jackson is in Kindergarden at a public school. I know that the Americans with disabilities act says that they must provide him a safe place to eat but it is the cross contamination through out the school that I am worried about.

[deenass]

My son has a teacher and classmate who have a peanut allergy. His class is peanut free (all snacks sent in must be read and checked by parents to contain no peanut ingredients or made on equipment that can be cross contaminated) - but the lunchroom is not peanut free. There are peanut free tables where children wih allergies sit. But it doens' stop a kid from eating a pb & j sandwich at a non-nut free table and not washing his hands, going onto the playground and leaving residue on playground equipment.

Does your son have an epi-pen at school? Is the teacher / director trained to use it? I don't know if you can force them to go nut free but you cna certainly ask them to raise awareness about the issue.

I would meet with the director and talk face to face, bring the dr's letter but have a discussion with them as well.

[egoldber]

Sarah's school is very similar to the above poster's. She has a peanut allergic child in her class this year, so they sent a note home saying that any food brought into the classroom must be peanut free. However, they do not ban peanut butter and peanut products from lunches. Her cafeteria has peanut free tables. What would be of more concern to me is that the children do not wash hands after lunch before returning to the classroom.

I have heard of many peanut free preschools and smaller, private schools, but I have never heard of a large public school (what I assume your son attends) being peanut free. I think the issues get much trickier with large public schools as you get into issues of language barriers with parents/caregivers, financial considerations, and legality issues for the school. I am room parent for Sarah's class (and was last year also) and there are some parents/families who do not understand even the most simple instructions and notes sent home, so the compexity of an allergy issue would be very difficult IMO.

I am very sorry you are dealing with this. It must be very scary.

[LBW]

Is it a public school? I think it's nearly impossible for a public school to go nut free. But, I can't see what harm it would do to be very specific in the letter sent home. I'm sure a lot of parents would stop sending their children to school with nut products if they knew about your son's situation. At least that would cut down on potential contaminants.

If it's a private school, they can decide to make the building a nut-free facility. We've used a daycare center and preschool that both have that policy.

[mytwosons]

My son's public school is nut-free. A list was sent home on the first day with safe snacks (no shared equipment). If a child accidentally brings a PB sandwhich for lunch, they must go to the office to eat it. If the peanut product isn't the main part of their lunch (e.g. granola bar), the offending item gets sent back home with a note to the parent. If it's something like a fun size butterfinger bar, it gets tossed to prevent the child from sneaking it out on the playground and a note goes home.

[mamicka]

My son's public school is nut-free. A list was sent home on the first day with safe snacks (no shared equipment). If a child accidentally brings a PB sandwhich for lunch, they must go to the office to eat it. If the peanut product isn't the main part of their lunch (e.g. granola bar), the offending item gets sent back home with a note to the parent. If it's something like a fun size butterfinger bar, it gets tossed to prevent the child from sneaking it out on the playground and a note goes home.

I really like the way your school handles it. I wish our school handled it this thoroughly.

OP - I'm so sorry about your son's allergy. I wish that more people got it but sad to say, they don't. I have no advice but I just wanted to encourage you to do what you think you need to do to keep your child safe. :hug:

[jk3]

My son's class is peanut-free. They try but imo it is important to remain vigilant. It's a tricky issue. My DS is only mildly allergic to peanuts but he is extremely allergic to tree nuts. Luckily there is another child in his class with similiar issues. We keep an epipen at school and in my bag but thankfully have not had to use it as of yet.

[MamaKath]

My son's public school is nut-free. A list was sent home on the first day with safe snacks (no shared equipment). If a child accidentally brings a PB sandwhich for lunch, they must go to the office to eat it. If the peanut product isn't the main part of their lunch (e.g. granola bar), the offending item gets sent back home with a note to the parent. If it's something like a fun size butterfinger bar, it gets tossed to prevent the child from sneaking it out on the playground and a note goes home.
Wow! I have never heard of any school being nut free. I like how your school handles this.

To OP- (Tara) so frustrating for you! Can you write a letter and bring it in as an "example" including how your child is affected? Also maybe you could also provide information about how specific schools handle this. To gather that I would research as many nut free schools as you can, call or email and ask for copies of their policies. I do agree with Beth, no matter how much you explain things there are always one or two that don't "get it". The school needs to have a plan of how to handle that.

I would also make sure your child has an epipen at school. All his teachers (Kindergarten and specials) as well as the school nurse, secretary, principal and other office staff (because the office is typically where a child having a problem heads, if it is that severe, those staff members should be trained) should all be trained in how to use it. Training pens should be something you can get your hands on; they have no needle, but they allow the person to figure out how they work and how to use them on a person needing it.

[mommylamb]

I guess I'm naive... I thought schools would be moving towards the nut free policies by now. If I were a school administrator, I'd be afraid I'd get sued if I didn't have at least a nut free policy (albeit with a disclaimer that the school can set policies but can't guarantee parents will follow them). Thankfully, DS doesn't seem to have alergies, but I would never consider sending him to school (when he gets older, he's only 16 mo now) with anything that had nuts.

[LBW]

My son's public school is nut-free. A list was sent home on the first day with safe snacks (no shared equipment). If a child accidentally brings a PB sandwhich for lunch, they must go to the office to eat it. If the peanut product isn't the main part of their lunch (e.g. granola bar), the offending item gets sent back home with a note to the parent. If it's something like a fun size butterfinger bar, it gets tossed to prevent the child from sneaking it out on the playground and a note goes home.

This is great! Our local elementary school tried to become nut-free a few years ago and received a huge backlash from a group of parents. There was one girl with such a severe peanut allergy that she had an aid provided by the state with her at all times. Still, there was a battle with the board of ed and a flurry of "pro-peanut" letters to the editor in the town paper. I just couldn't understand it. People thought her parents should pull her out of school just so their kids could eat their peanut butter sandwiches.

I think, in the end, the school created a peanut free zone behind curtains in the lunch room for her. Pretty sad.

[chicagojo]

My daughter has peanut and tree nut allergies. She is in a nut-free classroom, but her school is not nut free. At the beginning of the year, the school nurse sent out what I thought was a nice letter that did a very thorough job of explaining possible implications of nut allergy and proactively addressing many of the concerns/questions that parents would be likely to have. They also sent home about a 5-page list of nut-free snack suggestions. Despite all this effort, there have still been a few "incidents" - luckily none of which resulted in any negative outcomes - I think a lot of parents out there really just don't get it. I'm glad to hear there are schools out there that are nut-free. Meanwhile, I've got EpiPens and Benadryl stashed in the classroom, her backpack, my purse, etc and the school had us fill out an "allergy action plan" for what the staff should do if she does have a reaction while at school. If you want copies of any of this stuff to share with your school, I can ask my daughter's school nurse to share them with me - feel free to e-mail me at [email protected].

[SASM]

My son's public school is nut-free. A list was sent home on the first day with safe snacks (no shared equipment). If a child accidentally brings a PB sandwhich for lunch, they must go to the office to eat it. If the peanut product isn't the main part of their lunch (e.g. granola bar), the offending item gets sent back home with a note to the parent. If it's something like a fun size butterfinger bar, it gets tossed to prevent the child from sneaking it out on the playground and a note goes home.

All I can say is WOW!!!! I applaud this school ~ I soooo wish that other schools, including my DS's public and DD's preschool, would take peanut and tree nut allergies this seriously! Wow!!

To the OP, I am so sorry that your DS went through this. I second the others suggestion of having an Epipen on hand, as well as Benedryl and doctors orders on hand in the nurses office (and a copy in the classroom) in the event that your DS should have another exposure. My DCs' (they both have a peanut allergy and we also avoid tree nuts, which is my allergy) last preschool required two Epipens, one in the classroom where snack was given and one in the office as a backup. I liked this protocol and EVERYONE knew how to administer the Epipen if need be. My DS actually had two separate incidents last month at his public school (he is in K) that scared the ^%&%$ out of me ~ one of which was buying and eating Honey Nut Cherrios! This prompted us to obviously take it to the nurse, teacher and principal. Our next step is going to the PTO. My issue is not only trying to get peanuts and treenuts out of the school but also trying to protect the kids who cannot read, as DS still does not know the word "N U T" only pictures. Anyway...this incident at least prompted the school to readdress the issue of food allergies with the school cafeteria staff and the importance of knowing EACH child with food allergies. It is a start but not good enough for me, as PBJ's are offered everyday as a cold lunch and on every field trip as the purchased lunch. :( If I wanted, DS could eat his lunch in the nurses office to stay away from the risk, even though there is a peanut free table. I, personally, would feel more comfortable with this but HATE the idea of DS being sigled out and feeling left out and not eating with the rest of his class. :(

Anyway...I do not know if this helps you...lots of rambling...but this was my recent experience. Look into http://foodallergy.org/ (this is a food allergy advocacy website ~ the "world's leading peanut allergy" expert Robert Wood from Johns Hopkins is a regular contributor) for ideas and make sure that your DS has some kind of medical ID. I bought DS a necklace from Lauren's Hope with a soccer ball on the front and on the back it has his name, my cell# (emergecy contact #), and his allergies. My DS knows of his peanut allergy, makes it well known to the best of his ability, and wears his necklace with pride. :) I am also looking into getting a band bracelet for both DS and DD as well (they have one on Lauren's Hope as well as a few others) that says "ALLERGY ALERT" or "PEANUT ALLERGY". He actually wants one but I am trying to find one that is comfortable and one that they would BOTH wear ~ something that is both comfortable and STANDS OUT.

GOOD LUCK and again I am soooooo sorry about your experience. Please keep us updated on what happens with your school. Feel free to email me.

[o_mom]

ETA.....Jackson is in Kindergarden at a public school. I know that the Americans with disabilities act says that they must provide him a safe place to eat but it is the cross contamination through out the school that I am worried about.

Google "Section 504 Plan" - I think this is what you are going to need. It will spell out exactly what steps need to be taken to keep him safe. Statements from the allergist, etc. all go into it to provide him with a safe environment.

This site had some in depth info: http://allergysupport.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=16&Itemid=1

I would think the allergist would have him carrying an EpiPen now and this will assist in making sure that everyone who may have contact with him (teachers, aides, bus drivers, etc) are all trained. Cross contamination is a big issue and some of the accomodations may depend on the set up of the school.

The ADA and IDEA say that he must be provided with a safe school environment, not just safe place to eat. I hope the school can do this with minimal stress on your part. :hug:

[DrSally]

I'm so sorry! DS has also "tested" pos for peanut allergy, but never had an exposure. I treat it the same as a demonstrated peanut allergy and asked his mother's day out program to be peanut free. The director made an announcement to the parents not to send any peanut products b/c "it could be life threatening" for the child with allergies (I was happy she said that). Also, the teachers check the kid's lunchbags to make sure there's nothing in there w/peanuts. Also, the director said she was making all the classes that use DS's classroom peanut free so there would be no residue to worry about. I was very grateful and made me feel much more at ease about sending him somewhere. The principal can definitely send out a letter explaining the severity of food allergies! It helps parent's know it is not optional. I know each school has progressed to different degrees on this issue, and it's usually through the parents educating the staff that policies are put in place. You've had the misfortune of being in a school that apparently doesn't have much experience/or policies to deal with food allergies. They have a lot more to learn, and you can help them.

[DrSally]

This is great! Our local elementary school tried to become nut-free a few years ago and received a huge backlash from a group of parents. There was one girl with such a severe peanut allergy that she had an aid provided by the state with her at all times. Still, there was a battle with the board of ed and a flurry of "pro-peanut" letters to the editor in the town paper. I just couldn't understand it. People thought her parents should pull her out of school just so their kids could eat their peanut butter sandwiches.

I think, in the end, the school created a peanut free zone behind curtains in the lunch room for her. Pretty sad.

That is so sad. I cannot imagine DS having to eat in a special zone behind curtains when he gets older :(

[MamaMolly]

Sounds to me like you need to look into a 504 plan. Since Jackson is at a public school they will have to follow it, and if you request a 504 meeting the MUST give you one.

Do you have an Allergy Action Plan? You can find a template here http://www.foodallergy.org/downloads/FAAP.pdf and take it to your allergist or pediatrician to tweak it to your needs.

Also, do you have an epi pen for Jackson? DD also has a peanut allergy. If DD had the symptoms you described (hives and breathing issues) I'd have used the EPI on her.

The important thing to remember is that your goal is go get the school on your side. You want to do all you can to help them keep your son safe. It is in the school's best interest to work with you, but sometimes (depending on the administrator's attitude IMO) you have to help them see this. Consider it an opportunity to educate them, and to really make the school what you want it to be. You really don't want to go into this with an adversarial attitude (which is so hard, considering that you are legitimately scared and his health and life could be at stake). However you've got to try to get THEM into 'mama bear' attitude with you. It can make the difference between fighting with the school or having the school fight to keep Jackson safe.

If the school won't or can't go peanut free, then there ARE ways to help with cross contamination, like having a peanut free table, or requiring the kids with peanuts in their lunches to sit at a designated table, and always making sure they and everyone else washes their hands after eating. Not hand sanitizer, cause that just spreads it around.

As for the computers, I'd ask if the keyboards (or at least the one he uses!) get wiped with a baby wipe, and that he washes is hands after computer time.

along with www.foodallergy.org I'd suggest you look into:
Parents of Kids with food allergies www.kidswithfoodallergies.org
Food allergy initiative www.faius.org

Hope this helps, please check out those sites because there is a tonof great info and support out there!
:hug:

[Jeanne]

Taking all nut products out of the school environment is very complicated and expensive. It's just not possible for most schools to fund an initiative like this on tax dollars. Also, there are very definite language and education barriers. If those with such barriers aren't able to follow a nut free rule, they themselves could be targeted sparking more initiatives. There is no money to pay for this or legislate it.

Also, what about considerations for all the other food allergies out there? Reactions to milk and eggs can be severe. And what is one person's "severe" is another person's "moderate". And if you think this isn't absolutely true, try being a mom to kids with no allergies and spending 45 minutes in the supermarket trying to find the perfect thing to take to a Girl Scout party only to be told that in fact, Cool Whip has trace amounts of dairy and is not acceptable! My point is that there are trace amounts in Cool Whip but most people have no problems with it. The mom in my troop does and doesn't want to even take a chance. So to her it's severe but to the other daily allergic moms in the troop, it's too slim to worry about.

Do those of us without allergies not get it? No, not always. It's just not on our radar all the time and it's easy to overlook something and not even think about it. A good example is potato chips. You think you are safe but then come to find out a particular brand of chip is cooked in the same factory as their other style of chip cooked in peanut oil. So not every parent of non allergic kids is clueless, insensitive, or lazy.

My oldest DD's school has a well enforced hand washing policy. Not only is it a pretty healthy school in terms of sickness, but they've never had a severe reaction in any of the allergic kids. But it's also a small parochial school and not the size of our public schools so it's a lot easier to enforce.

The issue with banning a lot of food products is too multi-faceted when you have a moderate to large size public school. The best way to cut it down is to produce as extensive a list as possible of safe brand names and pass it out, put it up on the website, send reminders, etc... The annoyance you see in parents (and I'll admit I'm one of them) is mostly always due to the complete lack of information given to us. I do not have time to stand in the supermarket for 45 minutes looking for a safe snack when all it takes is for the parents with the allergies to produce these lists and make sure they are handed out when they have already done the hard work. Most people are happy to comply when they are properly informed.

[brittone2]

I hope you can get the cooperation of your school. If not, I'd escalate as necessary. As PPs said, the law should protect your child's right to an education that does not risk his health and safety. There are no guarantees about how well the school will execute being peanut-free, but if he's reacting to airborne exposure, they need to do more to protect him IMO.

[mamicka]

This is great! Our local elementary school tried to become nut-free a few years ago and received a huge backlash from a group of parents. There was one girl with such a severe peanut allergy that she had an aid provided by the state with her at all times. Still, there was a battle with the board of ed and a flurry of "pro-peanut" letters to the editor in the town paper. I just couldn't understand it. People thought her parents should pull her out of school just so their kids could eat their peanut butter sandwiches.

I think, in the end, the school created a peanut free zone behind curtains in the lunch room for her. Pretty sad.

Oh, my. That is sad.

[TaChapm]

Taking all nut products out of the school environment is very complicated and expensive. It's just not possible for most schools to fund an initiative like this on tax dollars. Also, there are very definite language and education barriers. If those with such barriers aren't able to follow a nut free rule, they themselves could be targeted sparking more initiatives. There is no money to pay for this or legislate it.

Also, what about considerations for all the other food allergies out there? Reactions to milk and eggs can be severe. And what is one person's "severe" is another person's "moderate". And if you think this isn't absolutely true, try being a mom to kids with no allergies and spending 45 minutes in the supermarket trying to find the perfect thing to take to a Girl Scout party only to be told that in fact, Cool Whip has trace amounts of dairy and is not acceptable! My point is that there are trace amounts in Cool Whip but most people have no problems with it. The mom in my troop does and doesn't want to even take a chance. So to her it's severe but to the other daily allergic moms in the troop, it's too slim to worry about.

Do those of us without allergies not get it? No, not always. It's just not on our radar all the time and it's easy to overlook something and not even think about it. A good example is potato chips. You think you are safe but then come to find out a particular brand of chip is cooked in the same factory as their other style of chip cooked in peanut oil. So not every parent of non allergic kids is clueless, insensitive, or lazy.

My oldest DD's school has a well enforced hand washing policy. Not only is it a pretty healthy school in terms of sickness, but they've never had a severe reaction in any of the allergic kids. But it's also a small parochial school and not the size of our public schools so it's a lot easier to enforce.

The issue with banning a lot of food products is too multi-faceted when you have a moderate to large size public school. The best way to cut it down is to produce as extensive a list as possible of safe brand names and pass it out, put it up on the website, send reminders, etc... The annoyance you see in parents (and I'll admit I'm one of them) is mostly always due to the complete lack of information given to us. I do not have time to stand in the supermarket for 45 minutes looking for a safe snack when all it takes is for the parents with the allergies to produce these lists and make sure they are handed out when they have already done the hard work. Most people are happy to comply when they are properly informed.

I have to say I am a little upset about your post. I am sorry if you are annoyed by parents of children with food allergies trying to make thier child's school or activities as safe as possible. I realize that it is something that is hard to do and time consuming but I PROMISE you that if it was your child you would do everything possible to make sure they were safe! I just spent a fortune buying Jackson's class tons of peanut free snacks! I am fine with providing Jackson other food alternatives and certainly don't want other parents to have to go out of thier way to buy peanut free snacks for my child but it is the cross contamination in the schools that worries me. Jackson didn't eat peanuts...he just touched something that someone who had eaten peanuts did. It's that easy for him to be affected. I also realize that peanut allergies are not the only ones in the school but it is one of the most common and severe food allergies there is. I came here trying to request more information and look for resources to help the school as well as myself get through this as easily as possible. I am not here bashing parents for possibly being annoyed. I am primarily looking for help on how the school can address this issue and inform parents on the issue to make it easier for everyone.

FWIW...I think it is worth the time it takes to check the labels to make sure a child stays safe. My child could die because of this. That is what I want parents to understand. It isn't me being picky...it's a life threatening issue.

[o_mom]

I have to say I am a little upset about your post.
.....
FWIW...I think it is worth the time it takes to check the labels to make sure a child stays safe. My child could die because of this. That is what I want parents to understand. It isn't me being picky...it's a life threatening issue.

:hug:

You have every right to be upset. It is worth taking the time to make sure a child doesn't die.

[mamicka]

I have to say I am a little upset about your post. I am sorry if you are annoyed by parents of children with food allergies trying to make thier child's school or activities as safe as possible. I realize that it is something that is hard to do and time consuming but I PROMISE you that if it was your child you would do everything possible to make sure they were safe!
...
FWIW...I think it is worth the time it takes to check the labels to make sure a child stays safe. My child could die because of this. That is what I want parents to understand. It isn't me being picky...it's a life threatening issue.

I agree. I still can't believe that we're talking about the life of a child & people talk about annoyances & inconveniences. I'd inconvenience & annoy every single person I could find to keep my child safe.

[bubbaray]

Taking all nut products out of the school environment is very complicated and expensive.

Not sure I agree with that -- a few letters home to parents, removing certain items from menus. I don't see the complication for just nut products.


Also, what about considerations for all the other food allergies out there?

*This* is where I see the complication and expense. My DD#2 is anaphylactic to fish (and allergic to peanuts, eggs and almonds). I'm, frankly,not too worried about nuts, but fish wigs me out completely. I don't know how we will have her educated in a school setting (public or private).


My oldest DD's school has a well enforced hand washing policy. Not only is it a pretty healthy school in terms of sickness, but they've never had a severe reaction in any of the allergic kids. But it's also a small parochial school and not the size of our public schools so it's a lot easier to enforce.

I don't see why public schools can't do this. They can and should.


The best way to cut it down is to produce as extensive a list as possible of safe brand names and pass it out, put it up on the website, send reminders, etc... The annoyance you see in parents (and I'll admit I'm one of them) is mostly always due to the complete lack of information given to us. I do not have time to stand in the supermarket for 45 minutes looking for a safe snack when all it takes is for the parents with the allergies to produce these lists and make sure they are handed out when they have already done the hard work. Most people are happy to comply when they are properly informed.

OK, this is where you completely lose me.

For starters, it is NOT SAFE to produce a list of "safe" products and companies. Parents of food allergic children know to NEVER trust a brand or previously safe product unless they have read the label -- every.single.time. I would NEVER produce a list of "safe" products for a school because the ingredients can change because of a manufacture change or error. Parents of food allergic children do not do this not because they are lazy or don't want to do the "hard work" (note to file, try grocery shopping with me and you'll see that 45 minutes of reading labels in a store is nothing). IME, parents do not produce lists of "safe" products because the best practice is to not do so -- we have been told this by our ped. allergist, two ambulance crews, our ped. nutritionist, etc..

Secondly, I think its really quite offensive to say that keeping *you* happy and not annoyed takes precedence over keeping my anaphylactic child ALIVE. I just don't see how it compares.

I didn't ask for my child to have severe food allergies. I certainly won't be telling the school about them to "annoy" other parents. I just want to keep her alive and safe.

Some children are so allergic to certain foods that doctors don't know if the next exposure will kill them, regardless of timely medical intervention (ie., EpiPens). The doctors do not know if DD#2's next exposure to fish could kill her before the EpiPen could be administered or work. Her first exposure caused anaphylaxis in 30 seconds. We don't know if the next one will be 5 seconds before her airway closes, or 5 minutes or 30 minutes or ???? THAT is the reality that I live with every day.

To the OP. I would be asking your child's allergist further testing and a comprehensive emergency plan. We've been told (and I'm not sure if this is just our situation or what) that for DD#2, the only allergen that is airborne is fish. Her egg allergy and peanut allergy (almonds is really mild) are not airborne -- contact or ingestion only.

[SASM]

Secondly, I think its really quite offensive to say that keeping *you* happy and not annoyed takes precedence over keeping my anaphylactic child ALIVE. I just don't see how it compares.

I didn't ask for my child to have severe food allergies. I certainly won't be telling the school about them to "annoy" other parents. I just want to keep her alive and safe.


I would highlight your ENTIRE quote if I could...PERFECTLY said. Thank you!!

[TaChapm]

Thank you all who have offered such wonderful support to me and provided me with such great information! I truly appreciate you jumping in here and helping me out and most of all thanks to those of you who understand what I am going through! :hug: I have been feeling really lost trying to figure all of this out and not being a total PITA.

We have had 2 Epi Pens for Jackson and 2 for Tyler (he also has an egg allergy). It is so much easier protecting them when they are here with me and I am in control. We have had some pretty bad reactions to eggs with both boys but NOTHING like what happened last week with the peanuts. It scared us to death! We are going to their allergist on Friday to have extensive skin testing done on both boys to see what all they are allergic to because I want to know the extent of it all. So far they have just had the blood test done which doesn't give you a lot of answers. We have never wanted to do the skin testing but I feel it is time. We will be coming up with a plan for Jackson and then will be meeting with his school again on Friday afternoon. Hopefully we can get this figured out!

Thanks again for all of the helpful information! I love these boards! :) (and the wonderful women on here)

[DrSally]

The other thing about peanuts is that the oils in it can make it linger a lot longer on things like chairs, desks, computers, etc. So the cross-contamination issue is particularily salient with peanuts.

ETA: Also, we have many peanut free schools here, and it's a fast-growing trend, so it's really not so impossible.

[MamaMolly]

. I do not have time to stand in the supermarket for 45 minutes looking for a safe snack when all it takes is for the parents with the allergies to produce these lists and make sure they are handed out when they have already done the hard work. Most people are happy to comply when they are properly informed.

:irked: Oh good grief. This one really made me roll my eyes. What a thing to say. You don't have time, indeed! Then don't agree to take a snack.

You know, I don't have the time to stand in the supermarket for 45 minutes reading labels either but I DO IT ANYWAY
Every
Single
Time
I go to the store.

Because manufacturers will change ingredients or processing facilities with absolutely no notice to the public, and so there I stand, week after week like a lump in the aisle reading tiny, tiny type. I'd LOVE to have a list of grocery list and just go through the aisles picking up items and putting them in my cart.

Look, I know you don't know any of this because you are blessed with children who don't have allergies. I really don't fault you for not knowing. How could you? But your attitude! For heaven's sake, why not just say to your self 'gee, this is a pain in the butt. I sure am lucky I don't have to do this all the time!'

You don't have time, indeed!

[Jeanne]

I have to say I am a little upset about your post. I am sorry if you are annoyed by parents of children with food allergies trying to make thier child's school or activities as safe as possible. I realize that it is something that is hard to do and time consuming but I PROMISE you that if it was your child you would do everything possible to make sure they were safe! I just spent a fortune buying Jackson's class tons of peanut free snacks! I am fine with providing Jackson other food alternatives and certainly don't want other parents to have to go out of thier way to buy peanut free snacks for my child but it is the cross contamination in the schools that worries me. Jackson didn't eat peanuts...he just touched something that someone who had eaten peanuts did. It's that easy for him to be affected. I also realize that peanut allergies are not the only ones in the school but it is one of the most common and severe food allergies there is. I came here trying to request more information and look for resources to help the school as well as myself get through this as easily as possible. I am not here bashing parents for possibly being annoyed. I am primarily looking for help on how the school can address this issue and inform parents on the issue to make it easier for everyone.

FWIW...I think it is worth the time it takes to check the labels to make sure a child stays safe. My child could die because of this. That is what I want parents to understand. It isn't me being picky...it's a life threatening issue.

Uh, you misinterpreted my post. I was not posting that I'm annoyed with allergies. I merely pointed out the fact that most public schools cannot ban foods for various reasons. It's not just a funding issue but also a language barrier issue, economic issue, level of education in the parents issue, etc...

I mention my annoyance with not being informed about what foods are safe. Reading labels does not always guarantee that a food doesn't contain any such allergen. Like I said, when it's not on your radar, it's easy to overlook even the most obvious - my potato chip example for one. The Cool Whip story I cited really blew me away. If you look at the container, it says "non-dairy". And yet I was told that in fact it does contain trace amounts of dairy. How would I know this? Is it fair for that mom to get upset with me for bringing it? I don't think so. That would be completely unreasonable. Thankfully she wasn't upset because she realizes that it's not obvious.

Again, please don't assume that parents who don't read every label before they buy anything are insensitive. I and everyone I know are more than happy to comply with allergy issues to keep a child safe. What we need is the proper information from the parents of the kids with allergies. What we need are lists of foods that we can buy to ensure the safely of everyone. Education on this is key, don't you agree? The more information you can arm a populace with, the better the outcome usually is. Food allergies are a relatively new occurrence and with anything that comes onto the scene, it takes time to gain awareness and understanding. Autism for one...

How would you feel if you were the teacher that caused a reaction in one of your students simply because you wore a hand cream that contained Shea Butter? Did you know that some people with latex allergies are also allergic to Shea? In this case, that child has a severe allergy to latex and Shea as both contain those chemical properties. How in the world could the teacher know this until it happened? Something like that is not on her radar. She knew not to put a band aid on this child but knew nothing about Shea. Is she insensitive because she didn’t read the label of the hand cream?

Again, education is key with allergies. When nothing is explained and there is not much effort put into it on the part of parents with allergies, then putting rules out there on do's and don'ts are never taken well. Think about it. It's common sense. Once you know the reasons for these do's and don'ts, people are pretty sensitive and good about wanting to make sure they do the right thing.

[TaChapm]

Obviously it wasn't just me to misinterpreted your post. When you post things like you are annoyed about it the said you don't have the time to stand in the store and read labels it comes off really bad. In fact I don't even know how to feel about a post like yours when I was just here looking for more information to help out with the school situation to make things as easy as I can for the teachers and parents like you.

As everyone here has posted it is not as simple as just handing out a list. Manufacturers change things often so you can never assume that anything is safe...you have to read the labels. I would love to walk into my allergists office and have him hand me a list of everything I could buy that is safe for my son and every restaurant that I can go and eat at because they don't cook things in peanut oil etc. I CAN'T! It isn't that easy. Things change so I must always check the label and ask.

I do believe educating parents and staff is key...that is what my original post was about...finding good resources for information. I didn't need a post like yours reminding me of how hard I was making things on everyone else and how inconvenient it is to read a label. I realize that...I'm sorry...but if it keeps my kid safe then I don't think I am being unreasonable.


Uh, you misinterpreted my post. I was not posting that I'm annoyed with allergies. I merely pointed out the fact that most public schools cannot ban foods for various reasons. It's not just a funding issue but also a language barrier issue, economic issue, level of education in the parents issue, etc...

I mention my annoyance with not being informed about what foods are safe. Reading labels does not always guarantee that a food doesn't contain any such allergen. Like I said, when it's not on your radar, it's easy to overlook even the most obvious - my potato chip example for one. The Cool Whip story I cited really blew me away. If you look at the container, it says "non-dairy". And yet I was told that in fact it does contain trace amounts of dairy. How would I know this? Is it fair for that mom to get upset with me for bringing it? I don't think so. That would be completely unreasonable. Thankfully she wasn't upset because she realizes that it's not obvious.

Again, please don't assume that parents who don't read every label before they buy anything are insensitive. I and everyone I know are more than happy to comply with allergy issues to keep a child safe. What we need is the proper information from the parents of the kids with allergies. What we need are lists of foods that we can buy to ensure the safely of everyone. Education on this is key, don't you agree? The more information you can arm a populace with, the better the outcome usually is. Food allergies are a relatively new occurrence and with anything that comes onto the scene, it takes time to gain awareness and understanding. Autism for one...

How would you feel if you were the teacher that caused a reaction in one of your students simply because you wore a hand cream that contained Shea Butter? Did you know that some people with latex allergies are also allergic to Shea? In this case, that child has a severe allergy to latex and Shea as both contain those chemical properties. How in the world could the teacher know this until it happened? Something like that is not on her radar. She knew not to put a band aid on this child but knew nothing about Shea. Is she insensitive because she didn’t read the label of the hand cream?

Again, education is key with allergies. When nothing is explained and there is not much effort put into it on the part of parents with allergies, then putting rules out there on do's and don'ts are never taken well. Think about it. It's common sense. Once you know the reasons for these do's and don'ts, people are pretty sensitive and good about wanting to make sure they do the right thing.

[egoldber]

FWIW, I knew exactly what Jeanne meant, but I also knew she was going to get roasted when she posted.


As everyone here has posted it is not as simple as just handing out a list. Manufacturers change things often so you can never assume that anything is safe...you have to read the labels.

I am going to give my honest opinion and people can flame away as they will. You are not EVER going to get that level of compliance in any school, much less a large and culturally diverse public school. And it is NOT because people don't care about you and your child. Framing the dynamic as "you either help my child stay safe or you're evil and don't care" is simply NOT helpful.

Many parents are not educated enough to help their children with their homework. Many parents are not able to read the notes sent home by the school about information for field trips and class parties. In MANY homes, the children are the ones who translate things for their parents. Do you honestly expect those same parents to read the labels on every food they buy before sending it to school? It is NOT going to happen. Even if your school went nut free you would not have 100% complaince. In fact, I would venture to guess it might almost be more dangerous for your child because they, the teachers and the admins might be less vigilant.

I get that it is really, really scary for you and the parents of other food allergic kids. But working within the system and teaching your child to advocate for themselves is your best bet to keep him safe. I would talk to the admin and most especially the teacher to impress upon them the severity and what needs to be done. If the teacher does not seem responsive, I would escalate to the principal. But relying on OTHER PARENTS is NOT going to get you the response your child needs to be safe. You can ASK for their compliance, but I wouldn't rely on it.

A 504 plan is a great idea. I would ask for things like: handwashing after lunch, his stations at special classes (computer, art) get cleaned before he uses them, epipens, etc. (In Sarah's school, children are not allowed to carry their own epipens by the way, they have to be kept in the school clinic.) I would brainstorm ways to kepe him safe and get the teachers and admins on your side and on board with the plan.

And then visit the school regularly to see if things are being done. Eat lunch with him one day and see for yourself if the class actually is washing hands. Ask him if his keyboard was cleaned in computer class. Teach him to ASK the teacher if his station was cleaned, etc. Making the plan and following up on it is crucial.

And again I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

[Jeanne]

I'll address several of the negative comments about my post in this one post.

For all of you to assume that those of us without allergies are insensitive and cold are just wrong on your part. I don't know one person who thinks like that. It’s a bit much to assume that someone would rather see a kid die than try to comply when they are armed with good information. I also don't know one person who goes to the supermarket and reads every single label on every single product they buy on every single trip they make. I'm willing to bet that this would take at least 2 hours at a minimum for each trip. Are you all really suggesting that you all do that every time you shop? I find that hard to believe since a good many on this board are SAHM's who might also have to take kids to the market. I don't think it's fair to take a shot at me for saying that I don't have time to do this. I really don't know anyone who has this much time on their hands. I'm not wealthy and I WOHM full time, have 2 kids who go to 2 different schools, and a DH that has a 3 hour commute each day. I'm doing the best I can.

If it's not safe to produce a list of acceptable foods, then really, the only alternative you are suggesting is that every parent goes to the supermarket and reads every single label on every single product every single trip they make. That is never going to happen. This country is made up of people from all walks of life, all religions, all economic backgrounds, etc... There are parents of kids who don't speak or read English. Do you think they are going to do this of their own volition? I'm being realistic here. Think about it. Should they be targeted as insensitive? There's just no way to ban every known food allergen in a public school paid for with tax dollars. There are too many interpretations as to one person's severe and another person's moderate.

You have the right to be worried and afraid. I sympathize with anyone living with this. It does in fact color lives on a daily basis. I AM NOT SAYING that an allergy is an inconvenience. Let me be clear. Severe allergies are terrifying. Peanut and Fish allergies are terrifying. Schools need to embrace a plan to keep kids safe. They do that through education mostly. This is good thing. The only alternative to this is to ban all food from home and insist that children are fed by the school only. How are schools going to pay for this? Is everyone going to agree to abide by this and accept the food that is served? OMG – the issue with this is already staggering.

Trying to legislate everything is just not practical or even affordable in a tax based public school. It's too multi-faceted. People get exemptions for vaccinations for religious beliefs. What if there are then exemptions for food based on religion, culture, or economics? What about the poor family that doesn't have a car and can only walk to a small market that doesn't carry any alternatives to allergy based products? What happens in that circumstance? Don't you see that you can't target some things without people feeling that it's their right to something else? It's just not on the radar of everyone not living with it. Think about it. Do you know everything about every disease or allergy out there? Of course not and it's not reasonable to expect you to.

Again, I'm not trying to sound insensitive but rather to urge you to help educate the school and the student/parent population in order to keep a safe and happy environment. Nut allergies suck in every way. Can’t wait for science to determine why this happening now. Seriously, most people would not speak up and post what I have because they know they are going to be flamed. Everyone just avoids it because if they dare bring up what those without allergies know and perceive, they are certain to be tarred and feathered. I just was in this thread. Don’t you want to know how to help make this easier for every one – especially those with allergies, while waiting for science to determine what’s causing all these? Isn’t it better to educate as many people as you can rather than to assume that everyone is going to do it on their own? Just about everything in life proves otherwise – to prove my point.

[Jeanne]

FWIW, I knew exactly what Jeanne meant, but I also knew she was going to get roasted when she posted.



I am going to give my honest opinion and people can flame away as they will. You are not EVER going to get that level of compliance in any school, much less a large and culturally diverse public school. And it is NOT because people don't care about you and your child. Framing the dynamic as "you either help my child stay safe or you're evil and don't care" is simply NOT helpful.

Many parents are not educated enough to help their children with their homework. Many parents are not able to read the notes sent home by the school about information for field trips and class parties. In MANY homes, the children are the ones who translate things for their parents. Do you honestly expect those same parents to read the labels on every food they buy before sending it to school? It is NOT going to happen. Even if your school went nut free you would not have 100% complaince. In fact, I would venture to guess it might almost be more dangerous for your child because they, the teachers and the admins might be less vigilant.

I get that it is really, really scary for you and the parents of other food allergic kids. But working within the system and teaching your child to advocate for themselves is your best bet to keep him safe. I would talk to the admin and most especially the teacher to impress upon them the severity and what needs to be done. If the teacher does not seem responsive, I would escalate to the principal. But relying on OTHER PARENTS is NOT going to get you the response your child needs to be safe. You can ASK for their compliance, but I wouldn't rely on it.

A 504 plan is a great idea. I would ask for things like: handwashing after lunch, his stations at special classes (computer, art) get cleaned before he uses them, epipens, etc. (In Sarah's school, children are not allowed to carry their own epipens by the way, they have to be kept in the school clinic.) I would brainstorm ways to kepe him safe and get the teachers and admins on your side and on board with the plan.

And then visit the school regularly to see if things are being done. Eat lunch with him one day and see for yourself if the class actually is washing hands. Ask him if his keyboard was cleaned in computer class. Teach him to ASK the teacher if his station was cleaned, etc. Making the plan and following up on it is crucial.

And again I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.

Thank You Beth. You took my post exactly how I intended.

[anamika]

I also don't know one person who goes to the supermarket and reads every single label on every single product they buy on every single trip they make.

I haven't read the rest of the thread yet but just wanted to say that indeed I do!
We have been doing it for a long time now - we're vegetarians and you'll be amazed how many seemingly safe foods have chicken fat or beef stock in them.
Now with DD being allergic to nuts we are even more vigilant.
If you have to do it, you just do it and don't count the time/cost.

[TaChapm]

If you go and read my original post I NEVER accused anyone of being insensitive about my son's allergy. I came here asking for information on how to better educate the school, staff and parents as well as myself on these allergy issues! I NEVER said anything bad or negative in my post about parents or staff...Ever! I just wanted resources and to see what others in my situation have done and how to make this easier on us all. That is it!

You are arguing that we need to better inform people and that is what I was here trying to do. I was not the one who started with the negative comments....I was asking for help! You made that assumption and if you read my post you will see what I was here for. I have received some great help from some wonderful understanding people here and that is what I needed. I did not need all of the drama.

FWIW I do not think that other parent's who don't get it are being insensitive. I have many friends who didn't get it until I explained how Jackson could be exposed. I do think it is insensitive to come to a post where I was simply asking for help and make the comments that were made and try to make me feel bad about trying to protect my son the best way I know how. You WOULD do it for your CHILD!

[Jeanne]

If you go and read my original post I NEVER accused anyone of being insensitive about my son's allergy. I came here asking for information on how to better educate the school, staff and parents as well as myself on these allergy issues! I NEVER said anything bad or negative in my post about parents or staff...Ever! I just wanted resources and to see what others in my situation have done and how to make this easier on us all. That is it!

You are arguing that we need to better inform people and that is what I was here trying to do. I was not the one who started with the negative comments....I was asking for help! You made that assumption and if you read my post you will see what I was here for. I have received some great help from some wonderful understanding people here and that is what I needed. I did not need all of the drama.

FWIW I do not think that other parent's who don't get it are being insensitive. I have many friends who didn't get it until I explained how Jackson could be exposed. I do think it is insensitive to come to a post where I was simply asking for help and make the comments that were made and try to make me feel bad about trying to protect my son the best way I know how. You WOULD do it for your CHILD!

And if you read my original post, I never tried to make you feel bad about seeking protection on how to deal with food allergies. Where did I do that??? I think you completely took my post the wrong way. The drama started when everyone decided to tar and feather me for saying that parents need as much information as possible so they can make informed decisions because when something is not an issue for you, you don't tend to put it in the forefront of your mind. Those that decided to call me out on my post made a lot of assumptions about me that simply are not true. I'm evil and cold for not putting everyone's child first in my mind? How is that helpful?

Was I wrong to assume that the Cool Whip I bought was safe when it said it was non-dairy? Should I drag my own kids out of the house at 9pm on a school night and then keep them in the store while reading every label to bring in a safe snack because I forgot to get it earlier in the day and DH was still stuck at work? Is it right to neglect the needs of my own kids at that point? Of course not. This is common sense. I really resent the implied implications of people in this thread making negative assumptions because not everyone has time to read every label. That does not make anyone a bad person! Where are you getting this from? I did not come to this thread telling you that you have no rights. I added my input as others did. You just implied something that wasn’t there.

Putting the entire responsibility on the school system through the 504 plan just isn't enough. I was my intention to point out to you that the parents need as much information as the school does because most people are so freakin' busy these days that when something doesn't rule their lives, they aren't going to change their mindset automatically. This.takes.time. It was my intention to bring you the perspective of a good many people who don't have allergies in the forefront of our minds.

For the record, I'm not arguing anything. I'm fending off attacks that I'm somehow evil or wrong for being annoyed that information on something was not made available to me when in fact, it was readily known and just not disseminated. I'm annoyed that the attitude seems to be that everyone should automatically assume it's their responsibility to know everything about everything these days. It was my intention to point out to you that schools will probably never ban food products because it's too multi-faceted and the best thing you could do was to help inform everyone. Did I not say that at the end of my first paragraph? Good Grief.

Giving up. Think me evil and cold. Take offense and make judgments about me. Fortunately, people like me are doing our part to make sure that kids are safe with these issues. We are doing more than most. But when we point out that it’s a lot of work and not always clear or easy and would like as much help as possible because we don’t have time, assumptions are made that it’s not convenient and how dare we... UGH.

[khalloc]

My almost 3 year old daughter goes to daycare and sometimes she is in the same class as another 3 year old who is allergic to peanuts. I say sometimes because the other girl is 6 months older than my DD so they sometimes end up being in different rooms if the other girl moved up to the older room and my daughter has not...

It used to be fine to bring peanut products in. The other girl just wasnt allowed to eat certain things(she has other allergies as well). Then one day a notice went out saying that her allergy has gotten worse, and that there were other children on the wait list with peanut allergies and that the new rule was no peanut butter (and maybe just peanut products in general). They gave some sample substitutes and I just started buying soy nut butter instead.

That given, once the other girl moved up to the preschool room and my DD was still in the toddler room, the toddler teacher said eating peanut stuff was OK since they didnt have a child in the toddler room with an allergy right then.

I have to say it stinks not being able to pack peanut butter sandwiches, but we did find an alternative (albeit an expensive one!). And Honestly I dont mind really. I would want someone to do the same for my kid if she was allergic to peanut butter. I absolutely think your child's daycare can inform parents that peanut products are no longer allowed for lunches/snacks. Maybe they can keep a substitute on hand for those incidents when parents forget and they can just send home the uneaten PB sandwich?

[o_mom]

And if you read my original post, I never tried to make you feel bad about seeking protection on how to deal with food allergies. Where did I do that??? I think you completely took my post the wrong way. The drama started when everyone decided to tar and feather me for saying that parents need as much information as possible so they can make informed decisions because when something is not an issue for you, you don't tend to put it in the forefront of your mind. Those that decided to call me out on my post made a lot of assumptions about me that simply are not true. I'm evil and cold for not putting everyone's child first in my mind? How is that helpful?

Was I wrong to assume that the Cool Whip I bought was safe when it said it was non-dairy? Should I drag my own kids out of the house at 9pm on a school night and then keep them in the store while reading every label to bring in a safe snack because I forgot to get it earlier in the day and DH was still stuck at work? Is it right to neglect the needs of my own kids at that point? Of course not. This is common sense. I really resent the implied implications of people in this thread making negative assumptions because not everyone has time to read every label. That does not make anyone a bad person! Where are you getting this from? I did not come to this thread telling you that you have no rights. I added my input as others did. You just implied something that wasn’t there.

Putting the entire responsibility on the school system through the 504 plan just isn't enough. I was my intention to point out to you that the parents need as much information as the school does because most people are so freakin' busy these days that when something doesn't rule their lives, they aren't going to change their mindset automatically. This.takes.time. It was my intention to bring you the perspective of a good many people who don't have allergies in the forefront of our minds.

For the record, I'm not arguing anything. I'm fending off attacks that I'm somehow evil or wrong for being annoyed that information on something was not made available to me when in fact, it was readily known and just not disseminated. I'm annoyed that the attitude seems to be that everyone should automatically assume it's their responsibility to know everything about everything these days. It was my intention to point out to you that schools will probably never ban food products because it's too multi-faceted and the best thing you could do was to help inform everyone. Did I not say that at the end of my first paragraph? Good Grief.

Giving up. Think me evil and cold. Take offense and make judgments about me. Fortunately, people like me are doing our part to make sure that kids are safe with these issues. We are doing more than most. But when we point out that it’s a lot of work and not always clear or easy and would like as much help as possible because we don’t have time, assumptions are made that it’s not convenient and how dare we... UGH.


I think what came across as uncaring was the attitude that it is just too hard to look at a label. Seriously, the ingredient list on Cool Whip says "milk". That took me about 20 seconds to find, not 45 minutes. You also seem to imply that because that trace amount was OK for some parents that the other mom was overreacting by saying it wasn't.

It is not unreasonable, IMO, for schools to ban certain allergens if that is what needs to be done. I disagree that it is expensive. Most of the solutions offered in this thread require no money at all - handwashing, cleaning equipment, banning peanut butter (not necessarily trace nuts), prohibiting food sharing and monitoring lunches. Even in places with language barriers, these things can be done sucessfully without isolating or ostracizing the child.

The school is the one responsible for implementing a safety plan. It is not the parent's responsibility to provide a list and as pointed out, that is not even a reasonable request. Many times even when this is done it backfires because the other parents see it as "that overprotective helicopter mom is running the school". Any education of the other parents at school should come directly from the school and NOT be parent run. That is what a 504 will cover - who needs education, how it will be done and what that will be. How often that education is refreshed and the contingency plans for substitutes and other workers would also be covered.

[MamaMolly]

Think me evil and cold. Take offense and make judgments about me. Fortunately, people like me are doing our part to make sure that kids are safe with these issues. We are doing more than most. But when we point out that it’s a lot of work and not always clear or easy and would like as much help as possible because we don’t have time, assumptions are made that it’s not convenient and how dare we... UGH.

Jeanne, I don't think you are cold or evil. Evil would be if you didn't care, and clearly you do. And I totally agree that it is a lot of work, it isn't always clear or easy. And (said with compassion) please understand that it is no clearer or easier to those of us who parent children with allergies. Just a whole lot scarier!

One day my DD was just like your DC, and the next day I'm told that milk, eggs, peanuts and cats are life threatening. I got a diagnosis and a Rx for an epi pen, and suddenly I'm supposed to keep DD safe when something as innocent a peanut butter, bread, goldfish crackers, your DCs sippy or cool whip ;) can kill her?!?! Mind blowing, life altering and terrifying. For my family dealing with the frustrations of food allergies isn't something I do now and then, it is an all the time thing. It doesn't really get easier, you just get used to it.

I want to explain that I did get angry when reading your post because it read (to me) that food allergies aren't your problem, it was a bother to hunt for hidden allergens, so why should you try when what ever you DO end up getting is going to be wrong anyway? Reading your subsequent posts, I see much more of the intent, which I think is very different than the way the first one came across (again, to me). What I get from your later posts is that parents ought not to rely on the schools or strangers to be experts on allergies and you'd appreciate a little help in doing what you can to keep the kiddos around you safe. It just didn't come across to me that way in the beginning.

And I think I can speak for many parents when I say that we really DO appreciate that you make the effort, hard as it is.

And for what it is worth, I really, really do read the label for every morsel that goes into DD's mouth. I do a lot of baking at home because it is just easier and faster in the long run to buy basic ingredients and make it myself. But I read every label, every time I buy it. And yes, it turns grocery shopping into a long, tedious, expensive chore that I dread.

My DD is anaphylactic to milk (among other foods). Here is what I have to avoid when grocery shopping, (courtesy of KidsWithFoodAllergies.com)
http://www.kidswithfoodallergies.org/resourcespre.php?id=37&title=Milk_allergy_avoidance_list

I wouldn't expect you to know all that, but I use it as an illustration that it is a total PITA to have to shop (for processed foods) when you have to deal with allergies. I'm sorry you felt picked on, and I'm not trying to do that now. I really just wanted say that I don't think you are cold or evil, just really lucky that it is only an annoyance and not a thing you have to do all the time, KWIM?

[Jeanne]

I think what came across as uncaring was the attitude that it is just too hard to look at a label. Seriously, the ingredient list on Cool Whip says "milk". That took me about 20 seconds to find, not 45 minutes. You also seem to imply that because that trace amount was OK for some parents that the other mom was overreacting by saying it wasn't.

It is not unreasonable, IMO, for schools to ban certain allergens if that is what needs to be done. I disagree that it is expensive. Most of the solutions offered in this thread require no money at all - handwashing, cleaning equipment, banning peanut butter (not necessarily trace nuts), prohibiting food sharing and monitoring lunches. Even in places with language barriers, these things can be done sucessfully without isolating or ostracizing the child.

The school is the one responsible for implementing a safety plan. It is not the parent's responsibility to provide a list and as pointed out, that is not even a reasonable request. Many times even when this is done it backfires because the other parents see it as "that overprotective helicopter mom is running the school". Any education of the other parents at school should come directly from the school and NOT be parent run. That is what a 504 will cover - who needs education, how it will be done and what that will be. How often that education is refreshed and the contingency plans for substitutes and other workers would also be covered.


Did I even once imply that children with allergies should be ostracized or isolated? Seriously, where did I do that in any of my posts? I did not put up a post that was uncaring. It is not my fault that you took it that way and assuming all kinds of things that I didn't imply or say. And where did I say that all those things you mention are not possible? All those things are already being done at my DD's school so it is possible and it is working. But it isn't possible to ban all potential food allergens on the current tax funded budget. You can go to your local township building and view your school’s budget I’m sure to gain an understanding of their funding. Didn’t I say that the school, armed with the proper information, can and is responsible for communicating it? I’m pretty sure I did.

I also didn't imply that parents with allergic children need to take the role of Large Marge in Charge. I simply asked that if certain foods are known to be safe, that they be given out. If parents have already done the work and know this information, doesn't it stand to reason that they would give it to the school to inform the school so the school could turn around and give that information out in whatever form they felt proper????? I did not specify how that was to be done – just asked for a list. Doesn't it stand to reason that perhaps the parents of an allergic child would in fact know more about the subject than a good many school administrators? Were did I say that I expect the parents to give this out? I asked the parents to participate in giving that information to the school. I did not call for a parent led meeting.

We're going to a Girl Scout party tonight and I have to bring a bag of chips. I was told what brand to buy because it's safe. I don't perceive this as negative at all. That's an awfully big assumption to presume that all parents are going to think negatively of any parent offering information and expertise that they have gained in a certain area. What in heck is everyone doing on this board then?

The front of the Cool Whip container says non-dairy. Isn't it reasonable to assume that most people would just pull this and think it's safe? Seriously, you are kidding yourself if you think the world is made up of researchers such as exist on this board. I did not imply that the mom who wouldn't touch the Cool Whip was being oversensitive. See? You are reading this wrong. I said that what was severe to her was not severe to others so I used that as an example as how some things can be interpreted for the sake of legislation. Those with allergies who ate the desert were not worried because they felt it was too trace to worry about. So again, what is severe to some is small or moderate to another. You read your own interpretation into that.

Seriously, my intention on this was to point out the big elephant in the room that no one is ever interested in knowing about. Don't people who are new to this experience want to know the whys or how's that lead to exposure, attitudes, and actions? Sooner or later, this lesson is learned - hopefully not in any harmful way to the child either. But I can guarantee that just about everyone who has the misfortune of living with this allergy will be shocked and upset at some point to know that there's more to the issue than simply calling for a ban or insisting that food not be sent it. There are just too many variables and not everyone is has it on their radar all the time. It’s the truth. Choose to ignore it or fight it and it won’t get any better.

Perhaps it’s due to my age now that I’m a person who seeks action rather than a lot of touchy feely conversation. I want to know what the problem is, read everything I can on it, try to solve it or at least figure out how to live with it without any negative, harmful, or unnecessary hardships on anyone. That includes the child with the allergy. That includes the people with language barriers. That includes the people who are too busy working and worrying about paying for shelter and food. That includes the family running in 5 directions.

[DrSally]

I also don't know one person who goes to the supermarket and reads every single label on every single product they buy on every single trip they make. I'm willing to bet that this would take at least 2 hours at a minimum for each trip. Are you all really suggesting that you all do that every time you shop?

Yes, I do. You do what you have to do, you find the time.

ETA: Also, you end up eating a lot less packaged and processed food.

[DrSally]

I think what came across as uncaring was the attitude that it is just too hard to look at a label. Seriously, the ingredient list on Cool Whip says "milk". That took me about 20 seconds to find, not 45 minutes. You also seem to imply that because that trace amount was OK for some parents that the other mom was overreacting by saying it wasn't.

It is not unreasonable, IMO, for schools to ban certain allergens if that is what needs to be done. I disagree that it is expensive. Most of the solutions offered in this thread require no money at all - handwashing, cleaning equipment, banning peanut butter (not necessarily trace nuts), prohibiting food sharing and monitoring lunches. Even in places with language barriers, these things can be done sucessfully without isolating or ostracizing the child.

The school is the one responsible for implementing a safety plan. It is not the parent's responsibility to provide a list and as pointed out, that is not even a reasonable request. Many times even when this is done it backfires because the other parents see it as "that overprotective helicopter mom is running the school". Any education of the other parents at school should come directly from the school and NOT be parent run. That is what a 504 will cover - who needs education, how it will be done and what that will be. How often that education is refreshed and the contingency plans for substitutes and other workers would also be covered.


You make a lot of good points. Some people with milk allergy are ok with things with trace amounts of milk. Perhaps they are on their way to outgrowing the allergy. But others, like DS would break out in really bad hives and throw up with the most minute trace of milk. It's always best to assume the worst reaction as you never know what the reaction to the allergen will be with each exposure.

I agree too, that the school should implement the plan and the parent should be involved at making sure it's enforced. The above measures are not expensive. ITA also that if it were to come from the parent, it would be seen as "overreacting/helicopter" parenting. See previous posts about a mom who blanketed the school with fliers about her son's allergies and the subsequent reactions. I guess I'm saying it's not as hard or cumbersome as it sounds and it takes the school and parents working together to get the optimal prevention of an exposure.

[DrSally]

But I can guarantee that just about everyone who has the misfortune of living with this allergy will be shocked and upset at some point to know that there's more to the issue than simply calling for a ban or insisting that food not be sent it. There are just too many variables and not everyone is has it on their radar all the time. It’s the truth. Choose to ignore it or fight it and it won’t get any better.

.

I think everyone dealing with food allergies knows this already. It's just one more layer of protection. Parents still have to do many other things to keep their kids safe. But, why give up trying to implement these protections in schools just b/c they can't prevent every exposure, KWIM? It's like saying lets not have fences around swimming pools b/c they can't prevent every single drowning.

[o_mom]

Did I even once imply that children with allergies should be ostracized or isolated? Seriously, where did I do that in any of my posts? I did not put up a post that was uncaring. It is not my fault that you took it that way and assuming all kinds of things that I didn't imply or say. And where did I say that all those things you mention are not possible? All those things are already being done at my DD's school so it is possible and it is working. But it isn't possible to ban all potential food allergens on the current tax funded budget. You can go to your local township building and view your school’s budget I’m sure to gain an understanding of their funding. Didn’t I say that the school, armed with the proper information, can and is responsible for communicating it? I’m pretty sure I did.

I also didn't imply that parents with allergic children need to take the role of Large Marge in Charge. I simply asked that if certain foods are known to be safe, that they be given out. If parents have already done the work and know this information, doesn't it stand to reason that they would give it to the school to inform the school so the school could turn around and give that information out in whatever form they felt proper????? I did not specify how that was to be done – just asked for a list. Doesn't it stand to reason that perhaps the parents of an allergic child would in fact know more about the subject than a good many school administrators? Were did I say that I expect the parents to give this out? I asked the parents to participate in giving that information to the school. I did not call for a parent led meeting.

We're going to a Girl Scout party tonight and I have to bring a bag of chips. I was told what brand to buy because it's safe. I don't perceive this as negative at all. That's an awfully big assumption to presume that all parents are going to think negatively of any parent offering information and expertise that they have gained in a certain area. What in heck is everyone doing on this board then?

The front of the Cool Whip container says non-dairy. Isn't it reasonable to assume that most people would just pull this and think it's safe? Seriously, you are kidding yourself if you think the world is made up of researchers such as exist on this board. I did not imply that the mom who wouldn't touch the Cool Whip was being oversensitive. See? You are reading this wrong. I said that what was severe to her was not severe to others so I used that as an example as how some things can be interpreted for the sake of legislation. Those with allergies who ate the desert were not worried because they felt it was too trace to worry about. So again, what is severe to some is small or moderate to another. You read your own interpretation into that.

Seriously, my intention on this was to point out the big elephant in the room that no one is ever interested in knowing about. Don't people who are new to this experience want to know the whys or how's that lead to exposure, attitudes, and actions? Sooner or later, this lesson is learned - hopefully not in any harmful way to the child either. But I can guarantee that just about everyone who has the misfortune of living with this allergy will be shocked and upset at some point to know that there's more to the issue than simply calling for a ban or insisting that food not be sent it. There are just too many variables and not everyone is has it on their radar all the time. It’s the truth. Choose to ignore it or fight it and it won’t get any better.

Perhaps it’s due to my age now that I’m a person who seeks action rather than a lot of touchy feely conversation. I want to know what the problem is, read everything I can on it, try to solve it or at least figure out how to live with it without any negative, harmful, or unnecessary hardships on anyone. That includes the child with the allergy. That includes the people with language barriers. That includes the people who are too busy working and worrying about paying for shelter and food. That includes the family running in 5 directions.


On the isolating, I put that in because there were stories related earlier that talked about kids forced to eat lunch in the nurses office or behind a curtain. Since I was referencing the suggestions made in previous posts, I thought that I should add this disclaimer that they did not need to include isolation.

Quite honestly, the tone of your original post came across as uncaring. That is my perception and was obviously shared by several other people. I am telling you what MY reading of it was. You may or may not have intended it, but it is the reaction that it provoked. I could go through and give you specific examples, but if you can't see it, I don't think that will help. As MomaMolly pointed out, the point of your story seemed to be "why bother". The way it read gave me the impression that you felt the cool whip mom was overreacting, though you have since clarified that.

I'm glad that you do try. I really believe that you are not uncaring or evil. Other than the tone of the original post, I just disagree with you on other points.

As far as being able to ban "all potential allergens", I don't see where anyone has suggested that as a solution. Banning of a particular allergen in a particular form? Yes - can be done and is in some places if the situation calls for it. My contention is that it is not a matter of money as most of the steps needed have minimal, if any, cost.

Much of your posting has focused on the parents of food allergic kids not doing enough to educate other parents. Not the school, the parents. The point I was making is that it is not appropriate for them to do so. If your school is not giving out the information you think you need, it may not be because the parents aren't trying.

There have been parents on this board who were NOT well received when they gave out information on safe products through the schools. They were told what a huge inconvenience their child was and that the other parents would not do anything beyond the bare minimum to make sure that safe products were sent. I think it fair to warn the OP that this may happen and explain to other people why the parents of food allergic kids aren't just handing out lists of safe items. The school needs to be behind this for it to work. A parent asking people not to send PB&J has no enforcement, but the school saying they will not allow it does.

[mamicka]

The Cool Whip story I cited really blew me away. If you look at the container, it says "non-dairy". And yet I was told that in fact it does contain trace amounts of dairy. How would I know this?

You would know it by reading the label.




Has anyone here mentioned being upset in this kind of situation?

[/QUOTE=Jeanne]Again, please don't assume that parents who don't read every label before they buy anything are insensitive. I and everyone I know are more than happy to comply with allergy issues to keep a child safe.

Unless, apparently, if requires you to read a label for an item that is being brought to a Girl Scout party.


How would you feel if you were the teacher that caused a reaction in one of your students simply because you wore a hand cream that contained Shea Butter? Did you know that some people with latex allergies are also allergic to Shea? In this case, that child has a severe allergy to latex and Shea as both contain those chemical properties. How in the world could the teacher know this until it happened? Something like that is not on her radar. She knew not to put a band aid on this child but knew nothing about Shea. Is she insensitive because she didn’t read the label of the hand cream?

Again, education is key with allergies. When nothing is explained and there is not much effort put into it on the part of parents with allergies, then putting rules out there on do's and don'ts are never taken well. Think about it. It's common sense. Once you know the reasons for these do's and don'ts, people are pretty sensitive and good about wanting to make sure they do the right thing.

Nobody in this thread or in any other allergy thread that I've read here has every talked about parents of food allergic kids expecting parents of non-food allergic kids to automatically know what foods are safe or not. Ultimately, the education comes from the parents of the food allergic kids in part, but if it is lacking, its the schools responsibility to get it.

Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see where anyone called you evil. I'm still shocked that in a thread asking for support you come to post about being annoyed that you have to read a label.

[mamicka]

The annoyance you see in parents (and I'll admit I'm one of them) is mostly always due to the complete lack of information given to us.

& the other times your annoyance is due to what?

[egoldber]

I'm sorry, but if a label says "dairy free" on it, I would probably not read all the ingredients list. And this is exactly why you canNOT depend on other parents to read labels.

[Jeanne]

& the other times your annoyance is due to what?

I'll tell you what my annoyance is due to. It's due to the assumption you make that people are merely annoyed that they have to comply with something that is inconvenient. I never implied that and I’ve clarified it several times. I have tried to make a point that this not the case without getting personal but I guess I will now if it can be of any benefit at this point.

Ever know a family that has a child with a death sentence? I do. My cousin. Her kidneys were destroyed by a form of strep at the age of 2. She spent 11 years fighting this battle, had 2 transplants, lived more than half her life in the hospital, and when she wasn't in the hospital, she was at home on a hem dialysis machine every other day for 4 hours. She had her bones broken several times to correct the curvatures that came from the medicine, she had umpteen strokes, bottle cap thick glasses, and the list goes on and on because of medical treatments she had to endure to try and save her life. She was only allowed 11 grams of salt per day. 11 grams is nearly impossible to even imagine. She was the 5th of 6 kids all born within 1-2 years of each other. My Aunt and Uncle live in a rural part of the state - 3 hours from the closest hospital equipped to help her. For the first 6 years of her life, my Aunt lived in the Ronald McDonald House Monday thru Friday and then went home on the weekends to see the other 5 children including her brand new infant (she was pregnant when my cousin started to get really sick) that didn't even recognize my Aunt as her mother since she was basically raised by her Grandmother. My Uncle spent every weekend at my cousin's bedside until it was time to swap places with my Aunt at the end of the weekend. And those weekends were hell for my Aunt. Hell driving back and forth 3 hours each way, hell missing the other 5 kids and trying to maintain some kind of normalcy and calm. Special hell hiding behind a newspaper trying to feed her newborn a bottle while the baby screamed because she didn't know her own mother. Can you even put yourself in her place and imagine those 1st two of those 6 years living like that? Really imagine the agony of this situation???

Then when my cousin was well enough to come home, she would suffer strokes and breathing issues which would have my Aunt throwing her in the front seat of her car, having the oldest who at the time was only 14 watch the other kids until my Uncle could get home and drive 100 mph for the 1st hour through mountainous roads hoping and praying that my cousin wouldn't die in the front seat during that 3 hour ride. And when my Uncle came home, he had to not only try to focus on getting the kids ready for school and out the door but also keep calm through the panic that he and the siblings felt about possibly not seeing her again. My Uncle is a laborer. A hard laborer. Do you know what that is? He shows up for work and if he's told to dig a ditch, he digs a ditch. This is work that most people on this board don't do and can't imagine.

Now I ask you, do you think either one of them had the forethought to remember not to pack a certain type of food while they lived like this for 11 years? Do you think that homework and projects were always done and sent in? Do you think that they even had time to give consideration to anything outside of the chaos of which they lived? They were trying to keep their own child from dying. And she died anyway at the age of 13. Absolutely horrible. And would you know circumstances like this even exist for some people? No. But judging people on the presumption that they have time to read every freakin' label in the store all.the.time is not only naive but also downright offensive to people like me who know that this issue is not just about reading labels and is much more complex - ad nauseam, ad infinitem.

And you know what? They couldn't move out of the area they live in. My Aunt's parents were there and couldn't move due to money issues. And my Aunt's parents were basically raising the kids whenever my Aunt couldn't be home so there was no changing anything about the situation. My Uncle had to continue to go to work. People just can't up and move even in the most extreme circumstances. They are also well over a million dollars in debt for this. Having to take out a second mortgage to pay for your child's funeral at the end of this is beyond words. And they were able to get that loan because they always paid whatever they could towards those medical bills - and still do to this day and will forever until they die. They have a loving family and very little in terms of what the collective assets of this board have.

Seriously, I tried to point out that there are a ton of reasons why not everyone is going to put a situation that is not on their radar foremost in their minds every single day or time they shop. If you can't see this, you never will and it will always make the situation harder and the tolerance on either end more difficult. I just can't make it any clearer than this. I never said that it was the sole responsibility of the parents of the allergic child to bear. I merely asked that as much information as possible be given out.

[Jeanne]

You would know it by reading the label.



Has anyone here mentioned being upset in this kind of situation?

[/QUOTE=Jeanne]Again, please don't assume that parents who don't read every label before they buy anything are insensitive. I and everyone I know are more than happy to comply with allergy issues to keep a child safe.

Unless, apparently, if requires you to read a label for an item that is being brought to a Girl Scout party.





Nobody in this thread or in any other allergy thread that I've read here has every talked about parents of food allergic kids expecting parents of non-food allergic kids to automatically know what foods are safe or not. Ultimately, the education comes from the parents of the food allergic kids in part, but if it is lacking, its the schools responsibility to get it.

Maybe I missed it, but I didn't see where anyone called you evil. I'm still shocked that in a thread asking for support you come to post about being annoyed that you have to read a label.[/QUOTE]


You are really stretching the label reading issue. You are making this out to be something it's not and therein lies a good part of the problem in communication with stuff like this. JC! Taking cheap shots and making assumptions about my motives is not helping to further this issue.

[Jeanne]

On the isolating, I put that in because there were stories related earlier that talked about kids forced to eat lunch in the nurses office or behind a curtain. Since I was referencing the suggestions made in previous posts, I thought that I should add this disclaimer that they did not need to include isolation.

Quite honestly, the tone of your original post came across as uncaring. That is my perception and was obviously shared by several other people. I am telling you what MY reading of it was. You may or may not have intended it, but it is the reaction that it provoked. I could go through and give you specific examples, but if you can't see it, I don't think that will help. As MomaMolly pointed out, the point of your story seemed to be "why bother". The way it read gave me the impression that you felt the cool whip mom was overreacting, though you have since clarified that.

I'm glad that you do try. I really believe that you are not uncaring or evil. Other than the tone of the original post, I just disagree with you on other points.

As far as being able to ban "all potential allergens", I don't see where anyone has suggested that as a solution. Banning of a particular allergen in a particular form? Yes - can be done and is in some places if the situation calls for it. My contention is that it is not a matter of money as most of the steps needed have minimal, if any, cost.

Much of your posting has focused on the parents of food allergic kids not doing enough to educate other parents. Not the school, the parents. The point I was making is that it is not appropriate for them to do so. If your school is not giving out the information you think you need, it may not be because the parents aren't trying.

There have been parents on this board who were NOT well received when they gave out information on safe products through the schools. They were told what a huge inconvenience their child was and that the other parents would not do anything beyond the bare minimum to make sure that safe products were sent. I think it fair to warn the OP that this may happen and explain to other people why the parents of food allergic kids aren't just handing out lists of safe items. The school needs to be behind this for it to work. A parent asking people not to send PB&J has no enforcement, but the school saying they will not allow it does.

I truly believe that there is no publically funded school with that many kids in it anywhere in this country equipped enough to do everything that we as researchers on this board would do. I don't think I've ever heard any school boast about having extra funds to trouble shoot everything perfectly all the time. I do think it's fair for parents to get involved in helping to get the understanding out there.

But thanks for not thinking me evil. I can assure you, I’m not a cold fish on this issue.

[Jeanne]

I'm sorry, but if a label says "dairy free" on it, I would probably not read all the ingredients list. And this is exactly why you canNOT depend on other parents to read labels.

Thanks again Beth. My point exactly.

[mamicka]

I'll tell you what my annoyance is due to. It's due to the assumption you make that people are merely annoyed that they have to comply with something that is inconvenient. I never implied that and I’ve clarified it several times. I have tried to make a point that this not the case without getting personal but I guess I will now if it can be of any benefit at this point.

Ever know a family that has a child with a death sentence? I do. My cousin. Her kidneys were destroyed by a form of strep at the age of 2. She spent 11 years fighting this battle, had 2 transplants, lived more than half her life in the hospital, and when she wasn't in the hospital, she was at home on a hem dialysis machine every other day for 4 hours. She had her bones broken several times to correct the curvatures that came from the medicine, she had umpteen strokes, bottle cap thick glasses, and the list goes on and on because of medical treatments she had to endure to try and save her life. She was only allowed 11 grams of salt per day. 11 grams is nearly impossible to even imagine. She was the 5th of 6 kids all born within 1-2 years of each other. My Aunt and Uncle live in a rural part of the state - 3 hours from the closest hospital equipped to help her. For the first 6 years of her life, my Aunt lived in the Ronald McDonald House Monday thru Friday and then went home on the weekends to see the other 5 children including her brand new infant (she was pregnant when my cousin started to get really sick) that didn't even recognize my Aunt as her mother since she was basically raised by her Grandmother. My Uncle spent every weekend at my cousin's bedside until it was time to swap places with my Aunt at the end of the weekend. And those weekends were hell for my Aunt. Hell driving back and forth 3 hours each way, hell missing the other 5 kids and trying to maintain some kind of normalcy and calm. Special hell hiding behind a newspaper trying to feed her newborn a bottle while the baby screamed because she didn't know her own mother. Can you even put yourself in her place and imagine those 1st two of those 6 years living like that? Really imagine the agony of this situation???

Then when my cousin was well enough to come home, she would suffer strokes and breathing issues which would have my Aunt throwing her in the front seat of her car, having the oldest who at the time was only 14 watch the other kids until my Uncle could get home and drive 100 mph for the 1st hour through mountainous roads hoping and praying that my cousin wouldn't die in the front seat during that 3 hour ride. And when my Uncle came home, he had to not only try to focus on getting the kids ready for school and out the door but also keep calm through the panic that he and the siblings felt about possibly not seeing her again. My Uncle is a laborer. A hard laborer. Do you know what that is? He shows up for work and if he's told to dig a ditch, he digs a ditch. This is work that most people on this board don't do and can't imagine.

Now I ask you, do you think either one of them had the forethought to remember not to pack a certain type of food while they lived like this for 11 years? Do you think that homework and projects were always done and sent in? Do you think that they even had time to give consideration to anything outside of the chaos of which they lived? They were trying to keep their own child from dying. And she died anyway at the age of 13. Absolutely horrible. And would you know circumstances like this even exist for some people? No. But judging people on the presumption that they have time to read every freakin' label in the store all.the.time is not only naive but also downright offensive to people like me who know that this issue is not just about reading labels and is much more complex - ad nauseam, ad infinitem.

And you know what? They couldn't move out of the area they live in. My Aunt's parents were there and couldn't move due to money issues. And my Aunt's parents were basically raising the kids whenever my Aunt couldn't be home so there was no changing anything about the situation. My Uncle had to continue to go to work. People just can't up and move even in the most extreme circumstances. They are also well over a million dollars in debt for this. Having to take out a second mortgage to pay for your child's funeral at the end of this is beyond words. And they were able to get that loan because they always paid whatever they could towards those medical bills - and still do to this day and will forever until they die. They have a loving family and very little in terms of what the collective assets of this board have.

Seriously, I tried to point out that there are a ton of reasons why not everyone is going to put a situation that is not on their radar foremost in their minds every single day or time they shop. If you can't see this, you never will and it will always make the situation harder and the tolerance on either end more difficult. I just can't make it any clearer than this. I never said that it was the sole responsibility of the parents of the allergic child to bear. I merely asked that as much information as possible be given out.

Oh my. I don't even know how to respond. You're replying to something that doesn't exist. I haven't expressed anything negative towards people who may have brought in products that contained allergens. I don't have any unrealistic expectations from parents that bring food into schools. I don't expect parents of non-food-allergic kids to keep it on their radar. I expect them to not be annoyed that my child can't eat the food item they may have tried really hard to find. I have only responded to your comment about being annoyed by food allergy situations - as you said, mostly because of the lack of education... I merely asked what the *other* cause of your annoyance is regarding food allergies.

Believe me, I'm intimately familiar with tragic family stories & understand that they are not uncommon. As a parent of a child with food allergies, I don't need a lecture on my expectations. Nor do we need to keep hearing about how annoying the situation is. If you can't see *this*, I don't know how to make it any clearer.

[Jeanne]

Oh my. I don't even know how to respond. You're replying to something that doesn't exist. I haven't expressed anything negative towards people who may have brought in products that contained allergens. I don't have any unrealistic expectations from parents that bring food into schools. I don't expect parents of non-food-allergic kids to keep it on their radar. I expect them to not be annoyed that my child can't eat the food item they may have tried really hard to find. I have only responded to your comment about being annoyed by food allergy situations - as you said, mostly because of the lack of education... I merely asked what the *other* cause of your annoyance is regarding food allergies.

Believe me, I'm intimately familiar with tragic family stories & understand that they are not uncommon. As a parent of a child with food allergies, I don't need a lecture on my expectations. Nor do we need to keep hearing about how annoying the situation is. If you can't see *this*, I don't know how to make it any clearer.

OMFG! This issue is not about annoyance. It was one line of a long post I made initially. It is you that keeps making it about annoyance. And yes I am now annoyed and will say why I'm annoyed that it continues to be beaten on when that was never the true focus of my post. It was one sentence in how many that I’ve written since then? And you can’t acknowledge this? Perhaps you didn't call me anything negative but you outright interpreted enough to make it clear that I have a problem with food allergic children.

I'm done here. I don't know what tragedies you are familiar with and I don't presume to know, but I do know that you continue to focus on something that was never the whole point of my original post. This is your issue, not mine. Further, you did in fact ask me about reading labels or call me out on the fact that I didn't when I brought the Cool Whip to the GS Meeting.

[bubbaray]

I also don't know one person who goes to the supermarket and reads every single label on every single product they buy on every single trip they make. I'm willing to bet that this would take at least 2 hours at a minimum for each trip.

I just got home a little while ago from grocery shopping after work. And, yes, it did take about 1.5 hours, much of that reading labels (basically, anything processed with an ingredient label I have to read). I did this after a full day of work as a lawyer, two commutes from hell (with accidents on my routes, my alternate route and my other alternate route -- for BOTH commutes). I got to see DD#2 for exactly 15 minutes before she went to bed.

I would MUCH rather have been doing, oh, pretty much anything other than reading labels in a grocery store tonight.

[bubbaray]

Quite honestly, the tone of your original post came across as uncaring. That is my perception and was obviously shared by several other people. I am telling you what MY reading of it was. You may or may not have intended it, but it is the reaction that it provoked.

:yeahthat:

[bubbaray]

In Sarah's school, children are not allowed to carry their own epipens by the way, they have to be kept in the school clinic.

I just wanted to address this issue. Forcing children to surrender or store their EpiPens not on their person is extremely dangerous. Best practice is that school age children should wear their EpiPens ON THEM at all times. Extremely young children (such as my DD#2 who got her EpiPen for her first birthday, sigh) obviously can't be expected to wear their pens -- but their caregivers must. At all times (and, yes, DH, that means you too).

Having an EpiPen in a backpack, locker, at the nurses office, at the principals office -- that is like not having an EpiPen at all.

FWIW, DD#2's pediatric allergist has said (in writing) that DD#2 "must have emergency resucitation available at all times". When she starts school, she will wear her EpiPen and will have a second kept at school, likely in her classroom. Our district (complying with a provincial law) has to allow children to wear their EpiPens.

[Jeanne]

I just got home a little while ago from grocery shopping after work. And, yes, it did take about 1.5 hours, much of that reading labels (basically, anything processed with an ingredient label I have to read). I did this after a full day of work as a lawyer, two commutes from hell (with accidents on my routes, my alternate route and my other alternate route -- for BOTH commutes). I got to see DD#2 for exactly 15 minutes before she went to bed.

I would MUCH rather have been doing, oh, pretty much anything other than reading labels in a grocery store tonight.

I understand that. I understand that people with allergies will have to do this. And I sympathize. I really do. But do you understand that people without allergies are not going to do this as an automatic thought process? This seems to be the main disagreement here. They just aren’t. If I were to take a man on the street poll and ask anyone passing by if they do this when it's not something they have to deal with every day, I can guarantee that the answers would not make you happy.

[Jeanne]

:yeahthat:

Quite honestly, the assumptions that people have made here and called me out on without knowing my background are insenstive and offensive to me.

[bubbaray]

Quite honestly, the assumptions that people have made here and called me out on without knowing my background are insenstive and offensive to me.

*MY* point, and omom's (as I read her post) was that your initial post (not you personally, YOUR POST) came across that way.

[bubbaray]

But do you understand that people without allergies are not going to do this as an automatic thought process?

Yes, I do understand that.

My response is as I said above. If people can't/won't/refuse to do just that (read the labels), then they can't expect to be able to send food to school if there are food allergies that are being dealt with.

[karolyp]

This thread has unfortunately disintegrated and we have decided to lock it. We want to remind everyone again to please be respectful to the members of this community and their opinions. If you have any questions, please PM one of the mods. Thanks, Karoly, Eileen, and Missy