Spinoff: Babysitting Ideas

[WatchingThemGrow]

As a follow up to the marriage thread, I thought we could share some babysitting ideas - like how to get them, where you found them, when you find is a good time to use them, what rules you leave, etc.

Some resourceful mamas from my church started a co-op a few years ago where they trade cards and watch each others' DC pretty frequently. I recently joined, but haven't actually left my DC anywhere. I've only watched others, so I have quite a few cards to spend. As I understand it, I can ask someone to come to my house and put my DC down if they are up for the task. I just hate to leave the other spouse with the responsibility of putting multiple children down alone.

A subset of moms from this group are trading off date nights on weekends -like 5-7pm on a Saturday night. There are 3 couples and one couple watches all the kids (8 total) while the other 2 couples get to go out to dinner. So for one night of work, you get 2 dates.

Our default babysitters are the IL's who live just a few miles away. They are in their 70's, but pretty active and capable of watching our two for a couple hours. I just hate to ask them to feed them. I feel like after the DC eat, they can handle the playtime and bedtime thing just fine. We don't schedule them as often as we should.

We don't really have the extra cash to hire someone routinely, but I do want to get into the habit of a regular date night. What do you do?

[tarahsolazy]

I posted an ad for a babysitter on the student job website for the University where I work. Its a big public University with 20K students. I got about 30 responses in a week! And this was for only semi-regular babysitting. We've ended up doing one night a week for 2-3 hours, and we found a wonderful babysitter who is mature and trustworthy. She gave me a professional resume, and I called her references. It worked out really well. I wanted someone of that age group (I think she's about 23) with experience (day care and nannying) over a teenager.

[daisyd]

I was going to ask a similar question myself. Will watch this thread with interest.

[jhrabosk]

I've been very fortunate to have several friends (single or married w/ no kids) who are willing to spend an occasional night hanging out on my couch instead of their own. My parents are also not far away.

A friend and I swap periodically, although it's been tougher since she had a new baby. If I need someone after bedtime, sometimes her husband is willing to come. I've read about a similar date night swap though and I think it sounds like such a great option.

I would second the local college idea as well. We have one in our town and one of the local moms started a Yahoo group specifically as a place to match college sitters with families.

I've also hired teachers from DD's daycare, when I can't find anyone free. ;)

ETA: Here's a website I've used in the past for babysitting swaps: http://www.babysitterexchange.com/ (http://www.babysitterexchange.com/bse/home.asp)

[aa2mama]

Thanks for starting this thread! After reading the marriage thread, I am thinking about starting a babysitting co-op. The thing is, I have never been involved in one so I'm not entirely sure how to set one up.

DH and I have never had regular date nights since having kids. When I was working, it was because we didn't have any time for dates due to opposite work schedules (I worked evenings, DH worked days). Now that I have quit my job, we simply don't have the money for a babysitter.

The babysitters that we occasionally used were the high school-age daughters of DH's coworker. They already had experience babysitting, and we knew the family.

During the day, my friends and I will occasionally watch each other's kids if the other has an appointment. We don't keep track of the time but know that the other will gladly return the favor. We have toyed with the idea of trading babysitting for date nights, and I think I will bring up the subject again.

[randomkid]

As a follow up to the marriage thread, I thought we could share some babysitting ideas - like how to get them, where you found them, when you find is a good time to use them, what rules you leave, etc.

Some resourceful mamas from my church started a co-op a few years ago where they trade cards and watch each others' DC pretty frequently. I recently joined, but haven't actually left my DC anywhere. I've only watched others, so I have quite a few cards to spend. As I understand it, I can ask someone to come to my house and put my DC down if they are up for the task. I just hate to leave the other spouse with the responsibility of putting multiple children down alone.

A subset of moms from this group are trading off date nights on weekends -like 5-7pm on a Saturday night. There are 3 couples and one couple watches all the kids (8 total) while the other 2 couples get to go out to dinner. So for one night of work, you get 2 dates.

Our default babysitters are the IL's who live just a few miles away. They are in their 70's, but pretty active and capable of watching our two for a couple hours. I just hate to ask them to feed them. I feel like after the DC eat, they can handle the playtime and bedtime thing just fine. We don't schedule them as often as we should.

We don't really have the extra cash to hire someone routinely, but I do want to get into the habit of a regular date night. What do you do?

The church thing sounds good, but so obligatory. I guess financially it's a great deal, but I don't know if I personally would want to get involved it that. If you have cards to use, why don't you take advantage of that? You've already watched others' kids, so it's your turn.

Why don't you think the ILs could handle dinner? My parents keep DD for a whole day and feed her lunch and dinner sometimes. My Mom is almost 70 and my Dad is almost 80. Honestly, bedtime is hard for us and I don't generally have my parents do bedtime. Could you provide dinner and just have your ILs give it to them? I did that with DD when she was younger, but now that she is older, my Mom just makes her lunch/dinner.

I have used college students for babysitting and they were girls who were interested in being a nanny or were going to school to be teachers. Our favorite had just graduated (we used her in the summer) and was getting married, so we didn't have her services for long. I did use them mostly for daytime when I went to work. Never had them put DD to bed. It's expensive, though. College students want $10-$12/hour and weekends can be tougher because of their social lives. Church may be another good place to find college age babysitters, but then you run into the co-op asking why you don't just join them.

We found the sitters through friends - one from someone DH works with and the others worked in the nursery at my friend's church.

[egoldber]

I'm not personally comfortable using friends or a coop to sit for Amy. She is WAY too high maintenance and fussy. I prefer to hire someone. I actually found someone who is a professional nanny with 20+ years experience who does babysitting on the side. She is expensive but I have soooo much confidence in her that we use her most often.

Sarah is easy and since she's older almost anyone can sit for her on the rare occasions that I need someone just for her.

When my ILs are in town they always send DH and I off on a date night and that's nice. But again, I could never trust them to sit for Amy during the day really now. Amy is too fast and too hard for MIL to deal with. I am kind of sad about that because when Sarah turned 2 was when MIL started to come and sit for us at least once a year so that DH and I could go away on a vacation alone together. Maybe when Amy's 4. Sigh.....

Other people I know use sittercity.com or craigslist to find sitters and they have been mostly happy with them.

[maestramommy]

I've only recently heard of a babysitting co-op. Sounds great if it's organized. My friend was part of one and she loved it. As I understand it, you don't necessarily watch someone's kid in your own home. So if I were sitting someone, it would usually be in their home, so Dh would probably take our kids by himself that night. That'd be a small price to pay for a night out!

What we do is use teens that we've found at our local church. In our old church we had a regular for a whole year before she went off to college. After that we used a young man (same church) who was staying home and going to city college. Since we always put our kids to bed before we leave, their main job is to be there in case the building caught fire;)

Since we moved we've been lucky to find another teenaged girl at our local church. Her lil sister did a mother's helper gig for us on move-in day, and we just had her (the older one) over one night last week and it worked out. So if/when we need to have a date night, we'll ask her again. She seems VERY responsible about letting us know her availability since it's soccer playoffs right now, which didn't go unnoticed.

I realize that we are sorta going on faith that these sitters will not flake or do a bad job, but so far we've not been disappointed. We don't feel comfy having sitters put our kids to bed yet. They're so little that we feel it's a little too much work to bathe and put two diapered toddlers to bed alone, esp. when you're only 15 and don't usually see them. :)

[tylersmama]

I have used sittercity.com to find babysitters a couple of times and have been really fortunate with the people I've found through there. Yeah, they're a bit more expensive, but that's because they're older (typically young college grads), so I trust them more than the teenager around the corner for an evening. I also have some neighborhood kids that have been great for me.

[Zansu]

I find sitters from the JCC, Hillel, and my sorority.

We're rarely gone for more than 3 hours, so the college kids don't mind working weekends b/c they still have time to go out afterwards (with money in their pockets).

We've watched friends' kids from time to time, and they would reciprocate if we asked.

[niccig]

YMCA babysitting. They know DS from his time there when I work out, he knows them. They've had back ground checks and all have to have first aid. Many of them have other childcare experience or early childhood courses at the community college. We have 2 that we use, but if I need others, I ask those 2 and they recommend someone else from the YMCA. They're all college age or older. They'll give DS dinner, play with him, put him to bed. If it's a day, they'll take him to the park that's 1 block from us. One of them has her own son the same age, she brings him with and DS gets a play date as well.

The trick is to book the next babysitting date before they leave, otherwise you never get around to it.

[Gena]

When we lived in Michigan, my parents baby-sat often. Now we live far from my parents and close to my in-laws. ILs don't baby-sit for us though. They do not understand DS's autism and do not know how to handle him.

We are very lucky that there is a church in our area that has a special ministry to families with special needs children. They host many wonderful events, including a once a month "date night". We are not members of this church, but we appreciate their events very much. DS loves going to "date night" and gets great care there. Each special needs child has a one-on-one caregiver and they have a ton of activites for the kids to do.

[mecawa]

The only people that have ever babysat for DD are my parents, my sister, and my IL's. I think that's so great that so many people have groups that trade off on babysitting. I'd love to find something like that around here.

[Corie]

I posted an ad for a babysitter on the student job website for the University where I work.


Tarah,
Can I ask how you worded the ad? I'm not sure I would
know what to say!

[WatchingThemGrow]

So, in reply to my own thread, I just got a return phone call from one of my former K students who can babysit in the afternoon for a couple of hours. I taught her, then one of her younger sisters years later. She's in middle school now, but she's the kind of kid I would have trusted with my babies when she was 5. This is going to be great! I won't have her over for night time stuff for a while yet, since she's still in middle school, but it will be enough to give me time to clean the bathrooms and blow the leaves out of the yard. This is going to be fabulous!

[erosenst]

We've had a variety:

* Several have been teachers at Abby's daycare (both the one where we used to live, and here). Interestingly, a lot don't sit...but the ones who do are great. If there's a well regarded pre-school/daycare near you, I'd call and ask the director if there are teachers who babysit.

* There's a college here that has a well-known babysitting list. It's interesting - the school puts the list together (name, year, major, phone #, and whether or not they have a car)...and that's it. But the women are highly sought after, and the one we have used is great. I've never heard a bad story - but you do have to interview them yourself. I'd call local colleges/universities and ask if they have a similar list.

* One was a recommendation from a friend - and is outstanding.

* One found us! She's a lifeguard at the JCC. She and Abby started playing around occasionally. The last day the pool was open, DH suggested we ask if she babysat. We went to ask her...and before we could, she asked US if we ever needed a sitter. Lives very near us, CPR/first-aid trained, fabulous with Abby.

* We used a sitter service one New Year's eve when friends were in town with their kids. (Split the cost) The sitter was awesome, but we couldn't afford those rates. We asked if she had any friends - she did. Her friend is great...and told us when the one from the sitter service parted ways with the service - so she sits for us too :).

Good luck!

Emily
Abby 4.75

[KBecks]

I asked our children's librarian for names. In our community she teaches the babysitting class (it's like a Red Cross class or something). She also is connected to teen volunteers who run the children's reading programs. She took my name and passed it to her teen volunteers and one called me. It was the best thing ever because the girl who replied was a 17 year old who had significant community and camp counselor experience, she was absolutely wonderful. She is off to college now but she has a younger sister who I hope to meet and work with once Mark is a little older. I think a sitter for 3 is maybe more difficult than a sitter for 2. I was spoiled by our first sitter very very much.

Another mom in storytime also had a teen daughter who she recommended when I was talking with the children's librarian about sitters. I never ended up calling because our first sitter experience turned out so well.

I have had teen daughters of co-workers sit for my kids on site while I worked part time and had crazy deadlines.

A friend hired an adult child care worker from the gym as a sitter.

It takes a little work to find a sitter and it may take a little more effort to find a wonderful sitter. I think it takes networking and inquiries and getting out there to ask people who they know and for phone numbers.

[KBecks]

So, in reply to my own thread, I just got a return phone call from one of my former K students who can babysit in the afternoon for a couple of hours. I taught her, then one of her younger sisters years later. She's in middle school now, but she's the kind of kid I would have trusted with my babies when she was 5. This is going to be great! I won't have her over for night time stuff for a while yet, since she's still in middle school, but it will be enough to give me time to clean the bathrooms and blow the leaves out of the yard. This is going to be fabulous!

Woo hoo! Good for you!!!

[american_mama]

Sadly, we don't use a sitter very much, but here are some ideas that might apply to many communities:

1. In my town, various gyms offer "Parent's Night Out," where your children are babysit in the gym with a group of other kids, multiple adults, and semi-planned activities (often run around the kid's gym area, do a simple craft, end with a movie). The group setting is nice for parents who believe safety in numbers, but the bad side is often that the night ends on the late side and your child still has to get home to bed. The local Little Gym does it, as does another kid gymnastics place, and Gold's Gym (the adult gym) just started doing it in the late afternoon as a "Parent's Errand Day Out."

If this doesn't exist in your area, you could always try calling a gym that offers child care and suggesting it.

2. The first time I swapped with a neighbor, it was very specific: each family had Christmas parties on different nights, so we swapped and reciprocated within a week, and everyone felt great. Christmas parties would be a very easy time to start a swap, for anyone looking to take the leap.

3. I have heard that some churches do a "Parents Night Out' open to the general community, but haven't found a church here that does it. Sometimes they are around Christmas-time, so parents can shop for their kiddos.

4. A friend locally hires college students. When one of her siters was in a sorority. my friend expanded her list of sitters to others in the sorority. That way, she gets a regular supply of sitters rather than starting afresh every 2 years or so when someone graduates.

5. I've heard friends who hire the teacher's aides in our local elementary school. The two I know who sit were both recent college graduates.

6. Poach from neighbors! If they have a sitter, ask for her name.

7. Lastly, an idea I got from someone else and hope to copy someday: the twice-a-month cleaning babysitter. Advertise for someone to sit for your kids until bedtime, then have them do certain stated cleaning tasks while the kids sleep (vaccuum, bathrooms, kitchen, whatever) and pay them slightly more than they'd usually get for sitting but less than it would cost you to have a sitter AND a housecleaner. This sounds so wonderful to me; I just haven't taken the leap nor do I know how to do it with an infant who has never had a sitter and is an unpredictable sleeper. I think I'll wait till he's older, but I happily pass this idea on to someone else in the meantime.

[Percycat]

We started a co-op with several friends, but it runs a little different than the ones previously discussed. Essentially, we bring our children to a friends house for babysitting. The kids get a play-date, we get a real date, and the friends get coupons they can use for future babysitting. We first met several years ago and developed a charter... which essentially outlined our rules and expectations to make sure we all were working with the same idea. We meet periodically (maybe once a year, or as needed) to update the charter and perhaps add new members. Although it does not address every babysitting need, it has been wonderful. Our kids are good friends and no one is uncomfortable asking a friend for babysitting (and no one is getting or feeling like they are being taken advantaged).

I can probably forward people a copy of our charter and coupons if people are interested.... although I do not check this board that often and it may take a while.