Help me word a polite response to this!

[LarsMal]

DS's teacher had called me a week or so ago to tell me she was sending a note home to parents. She wanted to remind them of the "no peanut" rule since there are a lot of parties coming up. DS has other food allergies, so she *said* she was going to remind parents of that, and asked if she could put my name and number on the letter. She told me she wanted to name me as the resident allergy expert (I thought she was kidding with that wording) and encourage parents to call me with questions about allergies and foods for parties.

I told her it was a great idea. I'd be happy to talk to anyone and help them find safe foods for the parties. I had also asked to be contacted so I knew what was going into the classroom (so I could send something similar for DS or suggest a brand that was safe for him).

The letter came home yesterday. The teacher actually wrote down that I am "an allergy expert". She makes it sound like I'm a freakin' allergist!!! On top of that, she mentioned the peanut rule, said I was L's mom, but didn't mention his other allergies (he's not allergic to peanuts).

I am glad that she made the effort, but I don't want people thinking I am actually an allergy expert! I know quite a bit from my experience with DS, and maybe that is enough. Who know, I'll probably never even get a phone call!

What bothers me, though, is that she didn't mention DS's allergies, which is the really important part. She made it sound like he just has peanut allergies- which is doesn't- and then provided a list of safe foods, that were all nut free, but loaded with his allergens.

I want to respond to the teacher and thank her for her continued support of making the environment safe for DS, but that I think she missed the biggest point- his ACTUAL allergies!

I'm just having trouble wording it without sounding like a complete b!tch!!!

TIA!

[Momof3Labs]

Perhaps it would be helpful to write a follow-up letter for her to distribute, rather than trying to get her to convey the information accurately. I'd have to think about how to present that to her, but I think that sometimes we need to give people an extra hand (e.g. writing the letter rather than expecting her to do it) to get things done.

[LarsMal]

Perhaps it would be helpful to write a follow-up letter for her to distribute, rather than trying to get her to convey the information accurately. I'd have to think about how to present that to her, but I think that sometimes we need to give people an extra hand (e.g. writing the letter rather than expecting her to do it) to get things done.

That's a good idea. I had asked her about this before- either writing a letter to parents just explaing L's allergies and such, or talking to parents at orientation. She mentioned something about "privacy issues" which seemed weird to me. If *I'm* his mother, and *I'm* willing to give out the info, what privacy issues are there?!?

Maybe I'll just write the letter and send it to her and the director for approval and see if they will send it out.

Thanks!

[mecawa]

Could you call her? I know when I have had stuff like this (not allergy related) happen I do better when I am actually talking to the person, rather than writing them a letter/note. I also really like what the PP said, about a follow up letter. Just tell her you thought it might be helpful if the other parents had a list of your child's allergies or something like that.

[MamaMolly]

ETA: I love the idea of face to face. That is what I imagined when writing my reply. And the idea of a follow up letter! THat is such pro-active way to look at it.


DS's teacher clearly needs some help! I guess from her perspective you ARE an allergy expert, but clearly something is getting lost in translation.

Start with how much you appreciate the effort she made, and the confidence she has in you. Let her know you are glad to share what ever you know with other parents, even if it is *just* to direct them to other resources of information about allergies.

Then lead into where things got off track. Mention that peanuts are a genuine concern, but topping your allergen watch list is X and Y (eggs and milk, I think?). Since there seems to be some confusion on her part, I'd really go over DSs allergens carefully. Hammer it in to her head. (And in a way, thank goodness you find out she is lost NOW through a letter instead of a reaction!!)

I'd also offer to help review (eta or offer to write them!) the letters regarding DSs allergies that she plans to send home BEFORE they go out next time. Then end it with something nice, once you are convinced that she really truly understands what DS's allergies are.

I secretly wonder what kind of 'backlash' might come from another letter going out. Other parents will likely be confused by the misinformation followed by the corrected information, you know? So teacher will really need to be on her toes when it comes to double checking all those 'safe' treats that come to the room.

If a parent calls you about being an 'allergy expert' I'd maybe laugh a little and say 'well, I'm not an allergist but I feel like an expert in DS's allergies. How can I help you?'

I'm so sorry this happened, let us know how it works out.