Frustrated with friend how would you handle this?

[Edensmum]

I read an email that involved a mutual friend of ours while on the phone with X, she gave her word that she would not. I asked X not to say anything because I wasn't sure how to handle it. There is a lot more to the situation than she knows and I told her I would fill her in later and we just never got to it. I had not said anything to the mutual friend as it would break a confidence I promised to keep and only serve to cause drama. There is no harm that will come to mutual friend from not knowing, it basically said she rubbed people the wrong way in how she handled something, and I'm pretty sure she knows what she did rubbed people the wrong way because she told me people were annoyed after it happened, so telling her would be redundant and only create a tense conversation.
So X decided to tell her. So now it causes issues with me and mutual friend. I am really surprised and upset that she broke her word, and I am not sure what to say to her.

[irie i]

I have always known that "friends" who tell me something about someone else and ask me to promise not to tell because they were asked to keep it a secret are not trustworthy. I would NEVER trust someone that does that...and I have learned to bring this up to them before they even utter a word about someone else that is none of my business.

I don't see why you are so upset that X broke her word...you broke your word to your mutual friend after she asked you not to break your confidence. How is it any different that X did it to you?

I know this sounds pretty harsh but its my honest opinion. You should say that you are sorry and you were wrong...and if you really want to be a good friend stop telling other people's secrets and having higher expectations of others than you are willing to display yourself.

[KBecks]

There's nothing you can do or say now, really, except to apologize to the person whose email you shared and who found out about it. Talking about other people's business is gossip and it's generally not a good thing to do. This is something you created yourself so deal with it and move on.

[alexsmommy]

I would sincerely apologize and take full responsibility to the friend whose email you read. There is really nothing you can do about the other friend. You can tell her you are upset, but she basically did the same thing you did - shared information that probably shouldn't have been shared. Because of that, she may not truly "get" why you are upset. I have found that when you hurt someone or screw up, the best way to rectify the situation is to take responsibility for your actions and apologize. That's all you can do is chalk it up to a lesson learned.

[Edensmum]

I have always known that "friends" who tell me something about someone else and ask me to promise not to tell because they were asked to keep it a secret are not trustworthy. I would NEVER trust someone that does that...and I have learned to bring this up to them before they even utter a word about someone else that is none of my business.

I don't see why you are so upset that X broke her word...you broke your word to your mutual friend after she asked you not to break your confidence. How is it any different that X did it to you?

I know this sounds pretty harsh but its my honest opinion. You should say that you are sorry and you were wrong...and if you really want to be a good friend stop telling other people's secrets and having higher expectations of others than you are willing to display yourself.

I am not sure I understand, I did not break a confidence. The only thing I was asked to keep is basically unrelated and I have not told anyone about it, but getting into the details of this with mutual friend would invite questions. It is the business of X, as in we are all part of an organization, in the same positions and I asked how she would handle it. I guess I didn't explain well.

[Edensmum]

I see the confusion, I did not read the email out loud, just at the same time as being on the phone.
The email was not in confidence. It was another party altogether, but said some negative things about someone we both know. I felt immediately protective of the mutual friend and asked advice but for it not to go further because of hurt it could cause if handled poorly. I had not decided what to do, she simply told the little she knew and got the details wrong at that.

[irie i]

I'm not sure I understand after both of your explanations, Sorry. I still am reading this as you shared something you shouldn't have and it got right back to that person. *Shrug* Perhaps next time you need help or an opinion you should choose to share it with someone that isn't a mutual friend. ;) You've obviously hurt someone's feelings. I still believe the best thing to do is apologize and try to patch things up.