How should I handle this?

[sarahsthreads]

DD got a letter the other day. I recognized the last name on the return address as someone from her preschool class, so I let her open it while I was sorting through the rest of the mail.

The letter turned out to be that sticker club chain letter that's been circulating lately. And DD can read, so before I realized what it was she'd already gathered that she was going to get stickers! From people! Lots of stickers! In the mail! But for various reasons I absolutely do not want to participate. (Mostly because 36 potentially complete strangers - friends/acquaintances of the people I'd send it to - would then have DD's name and address. That weirds me out. Also because this has been through most of my close friends and we've all broken the chain already.)

I'm annoyed that the class address list was used in this manner. I kind of expected that the list would be mainly used to set up play dates or coordinate teacher gifts like it was last year, not to send chain letters. Am I being unreasonable? Should I contact the mom to let her know I won't be participating, just ignore it, or suck it up and send it along but not put my DD's name in the second spot? WWYD?

And if anyone has any advice on how to convince a 4 year old that being in a sticker club is not as exciting as it sounds, that'd be great too. I may have to buy some stickers myself and drop them in the mail to her under fake names! :p

Sarah

[tarabenet]

I would definitely not participate. Whether or not I'd tell the person I wasn't doing it would depend on my relationship with her. If I did tell her, though, I would not bother with giving reasons. I'd just say "I don't do chain letters or e-mails. I thought I'd let you know, in case you'd like to replace us on your list." I might start with "Thanks for thinking of us, but . . ." Explanations of why only invite argument or give her a reason to think you are cheap, cranky, irrational or whatever her favorite criticism/rationalization might be.

I'd try to explain a little to DD about what chain letters are and how often they don't work as planned anyway. I'd probably offer to let her pick up some special stickers next time we were out. I'm not above bribes! Actually, I'd go pull a package of them out of my secret stash. I know, I know: I'm bad. But it's one of those "do whatever works" things.

[sarahsthreads]

Thanks.

Yeah, I don't really know the mom. I'd recognize her at drop off/pick up, though, so if I get a chance I suppose I should let her know we won't be participating so she can replace us.

And I suppose I should probably have the chain letter discussion with DD. Sigh. I don't remember getting a chain letter until I was in junior high. Of course, that was of the "if you don't pass this on to twelve people within three days you'll never have a boyfriend and you'll have acne for the rest of your life" variety. ;) Not nearly so harmless as stickers!

Sarah :)

[nfowife]

Hey, your DD is 4. Of course it sounds like fun. I don't think it's necessary to get into a "chain letter" discussion at 4. I would go to the dollar store, buy a few packs of stickers, stick them in envelopes and seal them and address the outside and for a few days let her open one each day. What's the harm?
That's just my opinion.