Imaginary or not friend issue.

[Edensmum]

Since we moved to this house, dd has had a few imaginary friends. I have had many reasons to think they are not really imaginary. DD will know things she otherwise wouldn't, and say Laddy told her. There are 4 regulars. Laddy, Serison, Harvin and Sheepy. Last night when talking about Laddy she told me she was annoyed with Harvin, because he is always trying to get her to sneak out of the house. My jaw dropped and we had a big talk about not leaving the house, saying no to people who ask you to keep secrets from mommy or daddy or ask you to do things that you don't think are right Etc. I am really concerned though. It's one thing to have to deal with saftey of things I can see/hear/affect but this is ridiculous.

On a funny "friend" story
I told her that when I was feeling better we could go do something special and I asked her what she would want to do. She asked me what a crabcake is. We are not fish people and we have neverhad them in the house or anything, but we now live in an area where this is very popular. I explained what they are and she said we should celebate with crab cakes. I aksed why she wanted that and she said "Laddy told me that is what you have a a celebration here."

[brittone2]

Who is it that does all of the polls about hauntings, spookiness, etc.? Is it Fairy?

She'll be all over this! ;)

[ha98ed14]

OMG! That is just freaky! Is she watching more TV? Is there anything different? New Daycare? New Playgroup? If not, You gotta ask your neighbors who lived there before you and if anyone has ever died in the house. How old is the house? Man, that is freaky! Keep us posted. And get some locks installed up high. Multiple ones, so DD cannot sneak out on the advice of one of her friends...

[Wife_and_mommy]

DD does similar things. No, we don't believe she's talking to ghosts. ;)

I can trace all her "friends" back to our dog. There are 3-4 of them, primarily two. She talks about things they did that pertain to DH. She's even started accidentally calling our dog one of the names at times then corrects herself.

She has on occasion mentioned things that aren't safe. We have talks about it as you did and leave it at that. You could role play with her a bit so it's ingrained in her. That would be scary.

[bubbaray]

See, now in my house (where DH and I have both, independently, seen the same ghost), I would totally believe that my child was talking to ghosts. I'm not weirded out by *my* ghost, but your post weirds me out, especially the leaving part. Shudder.

If you are so inclined, can you have a talk with Harvin? I'm actually not joking. I'd just say that you and DD have talked about it and it would be best if he didn't try to get her to sneak out of the house as it would be very dangerous. Thank him for understanding....

OK, I sound completely looney tunes.

ITA about the locks up high, BTW.

[Edensmum]

OMG! That is just freaky! Is she watching more TV? Is there anything different? New Daycare? New Playgroup? If not, You gotta ask your neighbors who lived there before you and if anyone has ever died in the house. How old is the house? Man, that is freaky! Keep us posted. And get some locks installed up high. Multiple ones, so DD cannot sneak out on the advice of one of her friends...


We built the house it's only a couple of years old. It's built on what used to be a plantation, as far as I know none of the original buildings have been here for some time. It was a full running plantation for a long time with slaves and all.

[Edensmum]

DD does similar things. No, we don't believe she's talking to ghosts. ;)

I can trace all her "friends" back to our dog. There are 3-4 of them, primarily two. She talks about things they did that pertain to DH. She's even started accidentally calling our dog one of the names at times then corrects herself.

She has on occasion mentioned things that aren't safe. We have talks about it as you did and leave it at that. You could role play with her a bit so it's ingrained in her. That would be scary.

The idea that this is not simply imaginary friends come from a lot of time of her saying things about our area historically, and hearing thins myself on occasion. I am not sure what it is or even what ghost means. I am just not convinced this is all in her head.

[Nooknookmom]

After growing up in a *haunted* house that was "brand new" in 1978 - possibly builit on an old farmstead, I am a paranormal nut.

I'm inclined to go with Bubbaray on this one. She may have some *new* friends who used to live there back when the plantation was there. You can always do as Bubbaray said and tell the *friend* how dangerous it is to leave the house, etc.

Also, you can ask ALL of them to leave, that this is your house now and that they are not welcome. Maybe they will vamoose...GL!

[citymama]

Whoa. That sent a shiver down my spine.

It sounds like your DD is pretty cool having these friends - not freaked out by it. That part is reassuring. Just wondering - did she have any imaginary friends prior to moving to this house?

And have you or your DH seen or heard anything "suspicious"?

Fairy, where are you?

[ThreeofUs]

You can always do as Bubbaray said and tell the *friend* how dangerous it is to leave the house, etc.


Hmmmm. Or you could talk with dd about this and have her (w/ you) teach her new friends about basic safety.

GL indeed.

[lizajane]

um, i am all freaked out and wish i were not alone. ack!

[Fairy]

Oh yes, I'm lovin' this thread!

I, myself, had four imaginary brothers and sisters who all looked suspiciously like muppets. Sometimes, imaginary friends are just that -- imaginary. However, I thoroughly believe that sometimes, they're not so much out of DC's head as they are out of that otherworldly place, definitely. If it were me, I'd be freaked. Yep. But, you're doing what I would ultimately do. You're listening to your DD and not dismissing what she's said. That's very validating to her, so that's a good first step.

I would ask her pointed questions about who these four friends are. What they look like, where they come from, how they get into her room, etc. I would also stand in her room and direct specific requests to them by name and say, I understand taht you are here, but you must not tell my daughter to leave the house, etc.

You might definitely want to research these names and the history of your property and any deaths on or nearby the home/property.

Report back, I'm loving this!

[Edensmum]

Whoa. That sent a shiver down my spine.

It sounds like your DD is pretty cool having these friends - not freaked out by it. That part is reassuring. Just wondering - did she have any imaginary friends prior to moving to this house?

And have you or your DH seen or heard anything "suspicious"?

Fairy, where are you?

No the friends showed up upon moving to this house. We have heard wispers and weird noises on the baby monitor but only in her room.

[mariza]

Please keep us posted, I am very intrigued by this stuff. I believe the house I grew up in was haunted, though at the time I dismissed a lot of things I was hearning and odd happenings. I went through a period in my senior year of HS where I would wake up suddenly for no reason that I could explain at exactly 3:33 every morning. I asked my then Theology teacher (catholic school) about it and he made a joke at my expense in front of the class so I never mentioned it to anyone again. Lots of other things, no voices or talking though. I don't want to hijack your thread, but I'm very intrigued and hope your DD listens to you and not her "friends" I think you've gotten some good advice so far! Keep us posted and definately get down to the Depot for some locks!

[Nooknookmom]

Mariza - I too had a time when I was 18 when I had *horrible* dreams that something was pulling me into the storage closet in my bedroom. We also live in a haunted house. I woke up at the same exact time every night, 3:11 am, terrifed. It's neat to hear that someone else had a similar experience!

[randomkid]

The idea that this is not simply imaginary friends come from a lot of time of her saying things about our area historically, and hearing thins myself on occasion. I am not sure what it is or even what ghost means. I am just not convinced this is all in her head.

That's what gave me shivers. What child knows about things like crabcakes if they've never been exposed to them. I agree with PPs to have a talk with DD's "friends". I'd have DD there with you so that you can ask if her friends are there and so she hears what you say. If they are truly imaginary, then DD hearing you give instructions to them might help her with things like not leaving the house. Totally sitting her with chills on my arms!

[Cam&Clay]

There are 4 regulars. Laddy, Serison, Harvin and Sheepy.

It's the names that convince me they are not imaginary. Those don't sound like names a child would make up. To me, they sound like they could easily be slave names.

Susan
DS1, age 10
DS2, age 10 months

[Fairy]

It's the names that convince me they are not imaginary. To me, they sound like they could easily be slave names.


Damn. I hadn't thoguht of this. She's right.

[bubbaray]

Damn. I hadn't thoguht of this. She's right.

Yes, ITA. I wonder if there are plantation records somewhere? That would be so neat (freaky) to find out!

[mariza]

If you are interested in exploring the ghost angle further I found this non-profit, no cost group online:
http://www.georgiaghostsociety.com/contact_us.html

Or you might want to leave well enough alone, I guess you will have to decide which avenue is best for your family. I had to stop searching cuz I was getting the creeps! Good Luck!

[mdb78]

I hope you keep us posted on this. At least they're her friends and not scaring her. :)

[Edensmum]

Yes, ITA. I wonder if there are plantation records somewhere? That would be so neat (freaky) to find out!

I have been looking, I haven't found names of anyone but owners of the land. I will keep looking.

[citymama]

Just one other thought - is DD exposed to new people since you've moved, via preschool, daycare, babysitters, workers (construction, garden, cleaning, etc on the new home)? Could she have heard about crabcakes or learned any of these names from elsewhere? Just trying to figure out if there are other potential explanations for her imaginary friends besides the direction most posts on this thread are leaning towards...

[mommy111]

Honestly, I think she may just have heard about these things from friends at school and is using the imaginary friends to test you re what they should do. Is she reading more stuff at the library also. That is where this may be coming from. Not discounting the ghost issue, just saying this is the more likely explanation that came to my mind when I read your post, until I saw everyone else's posts thinking these may be ghosts. That didn't even occur to me, even with your title (I thought you meant new friends around town or at school maybe).
But then I'd have to see a ghost to believe it and even then I'd probably think I had imagined it :)
And if Harvin is a ghost from the era, just explain to him that in these times, its not safe for kids to go out alone as it may have been in his times.
Actually, if I thought ghosts were talking to my daughter, I'd probably be freaked out enough to move. Just sayin (that I'm a coward :))

[mariza]

Hve you had a "talk" with these "friends"? Has your DD mentioned anything new to you? I have been wondering about this all week! Please post an update. :)

[Fairy]

Me, too! Update?

[dhano923]

When my DS was little, he used to talk to "auntie". He was around 1-2 years old and he wouldn't just talk, he would pause, and then say "yes", "no", "chicken", etc. He would just be sitting there and would start giggling or laughing and then he'd say "no tickle!". When I would ask him who he was talking to, he'd always tell me he was talking to Auntie. I strongly believe it was my uncle's wife, who I was very close with. She was only a couple years older than me and died at age 28. When she was in the hospital before her death, she told me she wished she could have lived long enough to play with my kids (I wasn't even pregnant yet). Ironically, I used to call her Auntie as a joke. I'll always believe that she used to come see my son and to play with him.

On a related note, my mom's parents house is built on a former cemetary/burial ground in Singapore. Many family members, including myself have seen and/or felt strange things. When I was 22, I was sleeping in one of the rooms and heard a noise. I looked at my mom's bed next to me and saw a man sitting there, facing the closet. I thought it was my mom and that I was confused, until I saw my mom come in the room -- she had gone to the bathroom. When I looked at the bed again, the man was gone. My cousin lived in that house for several years while he went to college, and multiple times when he was sleeping he would feel someone stroking his hair. These are just two examples of the ongoings in that house.

I would tell your DD, and her friends, that you don't mind them being in your home but you expect them to take care of your daughter and that she cannt leave the house with you or your DH. I would also tell them that if they can't abide by this, then they will need to leave.