"You don't have cancer....but...."???

[Emmas Mom]

I was really hoping to get good news this week & I guess I did....sort of. Right around the time I had the ectopic I found a lump. My OBGYN sent me for a Mammogram/US, which came back as "suspicious masses" (there are four of them). Then I got sent to a surgeon for a biopsy & had that last Monday. I was crying on the table it was so horrible. :( I got the results & the first thing she told me was that it was not cancer but the cells are "atypical" & now she wants to do another biopsy or excision under general anethesia. This has just not been my year. I should be in my second trimester now. :( I don't really understand "atypical", I think it's cells that COULD become cancerous someday. So yeah, if she's going to have me under take them all out now is what I say. I really don't like this surgeon either. During the biopsy, when I started feeling the pain I must have like scrunched up my face because when she stopped (momentarily) she said something like "oh you can unscrunch your face now". What, cause it was offending her? Whatever. Then during the follow up, when I was asking about atypical & what that meant, she showed me some chart with cell "progression" (normal to cancerous) on it. When I asked for further clarification she told me I could look it up on the internet. Nice. Anyway, I just want this next procedure done & I will never go back to her again. So, it's supposed to be in a couple weeks. It's an outpatient procedure so I won't be in the hospital again (thankfully). I just don't quite know what to feel. I should be relieved but there's still that "but". I so wanted to post on lizajane's "point out to the world" thread, but I'm having a hard time being happy about it all. So if you can spare it, please send some of the mojo my way. I just want to get back to my normal life again! That's not too much to ask, right? lol

[missym]

I'm sorry you didn't get more decisive good news. And that surgeon! :irked: I know some doctors don't relate well to patients but that's ridiculous.

I'll be praying that your second biopsy goes well and you get a clean report. :hug:

[wencit]

I'm so sorry. :( Sending lots of positive thoughts your way. Hope you can get back to your "normal" life soon.

[ThreeofUs]

I'm really sorry to hear you didn't get a clear, but a lot of times during pg, these cells come up as atypical. Your body is just so full of body-changing hormones that your cells are not doing "typical" things, kwim?

I'd say get another surgeon. She sounds like she got a D- in empathy.

Good luck!

[JTsMom]

What a *&$#($*:32: !!!! Look it up on the internet?!?!?!? I totally want to hunt that woman down and :13: . Is there any way you can see someone else for this next procedure? It probably wouldn't hurt to have a second opinion anyway.

I'm sorry the answer wasn't totally decisive, but it sounds like a good start at lest. Hang in there. :hug:

[mdb78]

I hate it when doctors are like that. Sorry you're going through this. Sending positive mojo your way.

[pb&j]

Is there any way you can go consult with a different surgeon prior to the excision? I would not be comfortable consenting to surgery under general anesthesia performed by a doc who couldn't or wasn't willing to explain it to me. It is perfectly reasonable to ask for a second opinion.


ETA: Hugs and P&PT!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I am so sorry you are going thorough this. You deserve a better care provider. Is there any chance you can find someone more compassionate and helpful before the next procedure?

Beth

[g-mama]

Kristine, I'm sorry you're going through this right now. What an idiot that surgeon is. Please keep us posted and take care of yourself.

[DrSally]

I'm so sorry! It amazes me that docs say "Look it up on the internet". WTF?! Will be thinking of you, and don't be afraid to get a 2nd opinion/consult, and def. a new doc the next time. Hugs.

[shawnandangel]

I can't believe that surgeon! What audacity.

Prayers and thoughts are being sent your way and here's hoping you get your normal life back real soon!:hug5:

[MontrealMum]

I'll be thinking of you and hoping you find some solid answers soon, and that your life returns to normal! What a piece of work your surgeon is. Makes you wonder why she was drawn to medicine in the first place. I'll second the suggestion to find a new one if possible.

[bubbaray]

What a *&$#($*:32: !!!! Look it up on the internet?!?!?!? I totally want to hunt that woman down and :13: .

Hang in there. :hug:

:yeahthat:

Sending P&PT your way!

[firsttimemama]

I'm so sorry you're going through this.

I understand that right now it may seem easier for you to just go through the next procedure with this surgeon, but if it is an option for you, I'd consider looking for someone else... not because I think she's incapable - people can be jerks and still be capable... but because you deserve to be treated with more kindness and if you can avoid adding more trauma to what you're already going through...

If you've got to stick with this surgeon I might consider giving her a piece of my mind.

You'll be in my thoughts! Hang on.

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

What a *&$#($*:32: !!!! Look it up on the internet?!?!?!? I totally want to hunt that woman down and :13: . Is there any way you can see someone else for this next procedure? It probably wouldn't hurt to have a second opinion anyway.

I'm sorry the answer wasn't totally decisive, but it sounds like a good start at lest. Hang in there. :hug:




:yeahthat: Honestly-some docs have the bedside manner of a toad!

[sste]

That is awful! Here is what I think:

1. You need to know for yourself whether you have cells that are just atypical versus cells that are likely to progress to cancer. This is a critical piece of your health care info.

2. Your surgeon sounds awful - - many of them are in terms of bedside manner, the surgeon stereotype is there for a reason. Ask around - - I personally would only retain a surgeon with such an awful manner if she was a god(dess) with the scalpel. If she is a truly gifted surgeon and there aren't alot of those in your area, then have your primary care doc run interference or ask for an oncology consult. You can also call her and say, "I could tell it was an extremely busy day for you the other day and we didn't have time to address my questions, so I am following up with a phone call." Otherwise, get a new surgeon.

3. Is your surgeon employed by a private practice or a hospital? If you are really upset, you can complain (assuming you go with the find another surgeon route). In a hospital, I would complain to the department chair of surgery through a written letter quoting in the first two sentences of the letter the "look it up on the internet" statement. If it was a private practice doctor, and I was well and truly pissed, I would write a letter to each of the other partners in the practice.

4. Angies list is now rating doctors - - I have mixed feelings about this because some of the most charming doctors who patients love are crappy diagnosticians/clinicians and vice versa. However, in your case, I think a negative review is warranted (again, would not then use the surgeon).

Hang in there! I think its likely you will feel better once you get more info.

[citymama]

I too am sending BBB mojo and hoping your life returns to a medically uneventful state very soon! Just the kiddie chaos to deal with, thank you.

Agree with the PPs - you should consider having the results reviewed by another surgeon - an expert in the field. Do you have friends or family who can help you research this - through your networks, find out who the expert is in your region? It is important to figure out who is really on top of their field, IME.

When I was pg, a large ovarian cyst was detected on my first trimester screening ultraround. My $#@% OB-GYN at the time totally freaked me out and recommended laprascopic surgery to remove it - while pregnant. She sent me to an "expert" who recommended the same thing. He had a wonderful bedside manner, but freaked us out even more, saying that if malignant, we would be endangering my life by not performing surgery during my pregnancy. Fortunately for us that diagnosis occured just as we were getting ready to move cities. (I am always grateful about that move - knowing that if we had stayed where we were, I may well have undergone the surgery, which raises miscarriage risk tremendously.) My husband's aunt (a doctor) researched the best hospital/surgeon in our new city with expertise on GYN cancers. This doc had *horrible* bedside manner (I swear he smirked when he saw my discomfort at the rough internal exam he performed) - but he was absolutely at the top of his game in his field, and hearing from him that surgery was absolutely not advised, and his theory about the kind of growth/cyst, was so very reassuring - even though I disliked him personally. (the cyst was removed after DD was born and totally benign! :))

Anyway, I know how absolutely wrenching it is to go through this and hoping for a positive, easy resolution to this story. Sending P&PT your way!

[tiapam]

I just read this in an old Parade mag. It might help you understand options:

http://www.parade.com/health/2008/10/womens-health-after-diagnosis

HTH. hugs.

[hez]

Sending hugs and prayers your way, Kristine.

[stefani]

Sending you hugs and BBB mojo. I would suggest consulting another surgeon as well.

Take care of yourself.

[Fairy]

Look it up on the Internet? WTF?

So sorry. Yes, have this procedure, then go find another doctor. Or ... find another doctor now?

Sending you positive thoughts.

-- Fairy

[kijip]

:hug:

What a weird doctor. I totally agree to get a second opinion. I am all for second opinions in the first place and for this doctor, even more so.

It's not to much to want you life to go back to normal again at all. I hope 2009 brings that to you in spades. You certainly deserve it after this year. :hug:

[Emmas Mom]

Thank you all, I truly appreciate it. I haven't mentioned this to a lot of people yet so it's nice to be able to post here & get it off my chest (ha ha...no pun intended :p ).

Have any of you had a procedure (any type) where you're gone to get a second opinion? My biggest issue with that is I don't think our insurance will cover it. Honestly, we just couldn't afford to pay for a surgeon's opinion. We're just starting to get the hospital, radiology, anesthesiology, etc. bills from my ectopic ordeal & adding this next surgery, albeit out-patient, has us already feeling it in our budget. I'm scared we'd have to pay ourselves for a second opinion. Add the holidays to all of this & I'm sure you guys get what I'm talking about. It just sucks.

[kijip]

Thank you all, I truly appreciate it. I haven't mentioned this to a lot of people yet so it's nice to be able to post here & get it off my chest (ha ha...no pun intended :p ).

Have any of you had a procedure (any type) where you're gone to get a second opinion? My biggest issue with that is I don't think our insurance will cover it. Honestly, we just couldn't afford to pay for a surgeon's opinion. We're just starting to get the hospital, radiology, anesthesiology, etc. bills from my ectopic ordeal & adding this next surgery, albeit out-patient, has us already feeling it in our budget. I'm scared we'd have to pay ourselves for a second opinion. Add the holidays to all of this & I'm sure you guys get what I'm talking about. It just sucks.

Our insurance has always covered a second opinion or just shopping around for care...I would call them and ask if you are worried.

[Emmas Mom]

Our insurance has always covered a second opinion or just shopping around for care...I would call them and ask if you are worried.

Good to know. I'll call tomorrow & ask about it. Thanks.

[citymama]

Have any of you had a procedure (any type) where you're gone to get a second opinion? My biggest issue with that is I don't think our insurance will cover it.

See my previous post in this thread. I actually had 2 second opinions (third opinions?) for the cyst. However, I was pregnant, so not sure if it was covered under my pregnancy visits or something - we never had any insurance problems (we have a PPO not HMO).

[brittone2]

I'm late to this, but *yuck*. I'd definitely go for a 2nd opinion, and if you find someone you are happier with, I'd write a letter to this doc telling her why you felt compelled to go elsewhere. That's a totally inappropriate and dismissive bedside manner (if we can even call it that!).

I hope you can get some answers and a much better physician very soon.

[nofeea]

You definitely need to talk to more people in your area and find someone you trust. Hopefully your situation is NOT cancer but that doesn't stop you fron contacting a local cancer support group and getting some info from them.
Last March I had 2 lumps that were biopsied on the radiologist's table under ultrasound. (and then again some other spots a couple of days later). The radiologist and the tech were both unbelievably sweet and reassuring. That didn't stop it from turning out to be cancer but the process was not as miserable as yours sounds. My surgeon was highly recommended by the radiology group and she was also wonderful about meeting with me, talking with me and going over all plans of action.
This is an area where you don't want to make a mistake and you don't want to be more panicked or miserable then necessary. Check for a local cancer support group. Often they can hook you up with another person who can share their experiences and probably tell you about their docs. I suppose you already asked your own OBGYN for other recommendations?
Good Luck and don't panic. Sounds like whatever it is, you're catching it very early.

[spirited]

Hi Kristine - I am a family doctor. I think getting a second opinion (or changing surgeons entirely) would be totally appropriate. If you didn't understand her explanation of what those atypical cells were, she should have explained it in another way until you did, or printed out a handout for you to read further, or something - not just tell you to look it up yourself. You were not asking for her to do something above and beyond what she is expected to do.

In terms of a way to go about finding someone else - I would ask your primary care doc or OB (whoever referred you to the surgeon in the first place) to suggest someone else for you to see, and explain why. The problem with asking non-medical people for suggestions (or going online to sites like Angie's List) is that some doctors have a wonderful bedside manner and their patients love them to death, but they are awful clinicians and their practices are not based on evidence or current medical guidelines (I had a colleague like that!). Hope that helps! Sorry you had to go through such a frustrating medical encounter.

I think it is also helpful for your primary doc or OB to have that feedback about the doctor they referred you to - sometimes the only way I would know that a consultant was a jerk or not up to par was from feedback from patients.

[Fairy]

You can do without a second opinion on things like a roof or even what's wrong with your car. But your health when it comes to cancer? With the way your tests came back, I'd do what you could to try for the second opinion. That kind of statement is little help when you know what is and is not in your budget, and our "just do it" kind of advice may not be feasible. But, if there is a way to do it, I hope that you can. Wishing you the best.

[mommy111]

I'm late to this thread but hugs and positive thoughts headed your way. Be well.

[DrSally]

Thank you all, I truly appreciate it. I haven't mentioned this to a lot of people yet so it's nice to be able to post here & get it off my chest (ha ha...no pun intended :p ).

Have any of you had a procedure (any type) where you're gone to get a second opinion? My biggest issue with that is I don't think our insurance will cover it. Honestly, we just couldn't afford to pay for a surgeon's opinion. We're just starting to get the hospital, radiology, anesthesiology, etc. bills from my ectopic ordeal & adding this next surgery, albeit out-patient, has us already feeling it in our budget. I'm scared we'd have to pay ourselves for a second opinion. Add the holidays to all of this & I'm sure you guys get what I'm talking about. It just sucks.

It doesn't hurt to ask your insurance. Give them a call before you go, and they may even have someone to send you to. Tell them you're uncomfortable with the dr. you went to first.