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cuca_
11-03-2008, 11:48 AM
This is going to be kind of long, so pleasebear with me. I really need avice/btdt regarding DD 2. She is almos 3.5 and is enrolled in a 3 yr. program. She went to a 2s program at a montessori school. In the middle of the year her teacher brought up some concerns about her. She was mainly concerned with her articulation and she also pointed out that DD would sometimes get upset and cry not wanting to go outside or so. We decided to have DD evaluated through EI because DD1 has sensory issues and I just wanted to rule this out. I also took DD2 to see DD1's private speech therapist, who told me that her articulation did not seem bad for a 2 year old and did not think she would receive services.

DD was evaluated by an educational specialist, an OT and a SLP, and no delays were found. DD was ahead in a couple of areas and on track in others. The SLP said that the articulation did not concern her, and that they did not really look at that until after 3. All three observed DD in the classroom.

FF to now. DD is in a different school, as I we did not get a spot at the montessori school that was convenient for us, and also, I was not crazy about the director of the first school. DD's teacher is not terribly warm, but she seems good. At the beginning of the year, when I asked how DD was doing, they said that she was crying a lot (getting upset easily) and not sitting still during rug time. The second issue surprised me, as she always sat very well during circle time last year. I talked to DD about this a lot and offer rewards for good behavior. According to the teachers she was doing great by the end of the year.

This past month DD started saying that she wanted to back to her old school, and that she missed her old friends. Sometime around that time the main teacher left for two weeks to go on a vacation. DD2 loved the substitute teacher, and even told me that she did not want her teacher to come back, because she loved the substitute. During that period I asked the teacher assistant how DD2 was doing and she said great.

Well, the teacher came back, but DD seemed fine with it. She was still talking about her old school and old friends, but also seemed ok at school. A week later, the teacher asks to speak with me, and tells me that they are very concerned about DD. She is getting really upset, she hit another kid, she banged her head against the floor once while upset, and she was speaking jargon at one time. She said the director observed her, and that they did not think it was a speech issue or an OT issue. She thinks maybe behavioral.

DD is pretty headstrong, but does not throw tantrums at home. She follows directions well, but gets upset if things don't go her way. By getting upset I mean she cries, pouts, sulks, etc.... She is also very loving and expresses herself pretty well. I have never heard her use jargon. There are times when I don't understand what she is saying (not very frequent) and I keep asking and she is pretty good at explaining/making me understand.

I am just at a loss of what this could be. I do think she is having big emotions and having a hard time dealing with them (voicing them). We've never had aggression issues before, and I've discussed this with her, and told her that it is not acceptable.

I will have her evaluated again, but my main concern is that she may not be happy at the new school. I don't know. Anyone have a similar experience with their DC. Who would deal with this? (What professional?). Any ideas about things to do at home to help her work on her emotions? We already read books about emotions, hitting, listening, etc... and I've giving her a couple of strategies to use at school - talking to the teacher, deep breaths... But other than that I am at a loss.

If you've read through this, thank you so much!!! I hope it makes sense.

TIA

ha98ed14
11-03-2008, 12:11 PM
It is odd that DD2 displays such different behaviors at home and at school. And it is odd that the aide said she was doing great when the main teacher was not there, but then when the main teacher is back, suddenly they are all so worried about her. Just based on what you have written, and granted it is just "your side," it sounds to me like DD2 and the teacher have a personality conflict. Is the teacher young/ new? It may be that she has never had a DC in her class that she really could not "reach." But rather than just saying, "This student and I can't make this work, she thinks there must be something "wrong" with DD2. Trust me, it DOES happen. My DH teaches 4th, and while it does not happen every year, there are occasions when there will be a DC and a teacher that just cannot work together. Nothing is wrong with the DC, nor the teacher either. They just don't get along. In such cases, the DC is usually transferred to another classroom. Is that an option?

If you have had her evaluated within the last year and they found nothing wrong, then that is probably still true. But you could get her evaluated again if it would make you feel better.

My advice would be to change classes/ schools. But avoid accusing the teacher of things (i.e., not being able to teach your DD) and also avoid labeling your DD, unless there is a reason (speech delay, sensory issues, etc.)

If you change classes and get the *SAME* feedback from a 3rd teacher/ school, then maybe you have to dig deeper. Is a behavioral issue something that would show up on an EI evaluation? But seriously, I don't know one two going on three year old that does not pout and stomp and cry when they do not get their way... Sorry no better advice. HTH.

jk3
11-03-2008, 12:21 PM
Can you observe in her classroom? Possibly spend a morning? I would want to see firsthand what is happening. It may or may not be school-related but if you can get into the classroom you might get some tangible information.

kedss
11-03-2008, 12:50 PM
I would definitely try to observe her in the classroom-and go from there

M&Mmom
11-03-2008, 12:52 PM
Can you observe the class without DD seeing you? At my DC's school they have a one way mirror on one side that parents can look and watch the kids but the kids don't know they are there. I would try that so you get an accurate observance of what is happening between your DD and the teacher, other kids. Drop of DD as usual and leave, come back 5 min later and observe for awhile. Don't tell teacher either so they both act like they would normally act. If you observe in class I would be concerned that either DD or teacher, or both would act differently knowing you are there.

Also, you can look into a mental health eval. Our county has a great program that could talk to you and DD and try to find out if something is happening at school to make her act out this way. It could be she is mimicking another kids behavior, or something bad is happening at school. Or maybe the teacher doesn't have the experience to set limits and she is doing normal limit testing behavior. Or maybe something else. It doesn't sound to me like a speech or sensory issue, especially if she has already been eval'd and they didn't find anything.

HTH

bnme
11-03-2008, 12:53 PM
...typing quickly while I eat lunch...but just a thought

Maybe it has something to do with the teachers not understanding her well. She may be getting frustrated. If they refer to what she said as 'jargon' and she was thought to have an articulation delay there could be an issue there.

My DS just got evaluated and will begin services soon. He has an articulation delay of as much as 44%. I think as a mom who understands 90% or more of what he says it was a shocker. But it's that I have gotten used to it. My DS gets very frustrated if he is not understood. It's like he knows what he is saying and does not understand why we/others don't. He was also evaluated by EI at 21 months and was considered average on all counts at that time.

cuca_
11-03-2008, 02:45 PM
Thanks everyone!! I really appreciate your responses. I will schedule a time to observe the classroom. Unfortunately, they do not have a two way window, so I think it will be hard to get a true picture of what goes on.

I also have an appointment with the director on Wednesday. Apparently she observed DD in the class recently.

I have no problem getting her evaluated again, and will probably do so. My biggest concern is that DD is happy at school. I forgot to mention that in our conversation the teacher said that DD did not seem to be enjoying herself. There is another 3s classroom, and I might ask the director about the possibility of switching DD to that one.

By the way, Jenn, congratulations on your pregnancy!!