I don't really get the "What do I do?" in this one (long)

[LarsMal]

My mom called me this morning all distraught and upset.

A little background: My mom has been involved in daycare/preschool in some capacity (teacher, owner, director) for over 30 years. She knows the rules and regulations better than anyone I know. This year she cut way back on her hours and responsibilities to focus on her catering business, but she still works at the Catholic school (she's been there about 5 years) as the preschool director/mentor.

She called this morning to tell me the principal of the school told her yesterday that she (the principal) SMACKED a 4yo preschooler in the FACE! Not on accident, either- an intentional smack in the face b/c she was "frustrated" with the child. My mom and the teacher are the only ones who know. I know why my mom is upset about it, but I don't know why she's saying, "I don't know what to do." Um...you call whoever it is you need to call- whatever the protocol is, and you do it NOW! She and the teacher typed up the report of the entire incident (I am guessing the teacher hasn't informed the parent, and maybe the kid didn't say anything b/c it hadn't come up at school this morning). They have everything ready to go, they just haven't done anything yet.

Last I talked to my mom, she was waiting to talk to the Pastor of the school. Still, I ask- WHY!? NO ONE in a school setting- teacher, principal- NO ONE should strike a child. What is so hard about that? She told the secretary that if she didn't hear from the Pastor by 3PM she was contacting to the superintendant of their Archdiocese.

I told her she better do it and do it quickly and then they need to figure out who tells the parent. If I found out that someone smacked DS in the face at school, and found out about it a couple days later while those who knew tried to figure out how to handle it I'd be FUMING. The sh&t would hit the fan!

I'm very disappointed in my mom right now, too. I know she'll do the right thing, but I just don't know why she is so worried about protecting the principal in the process. She's been saying the woman has no business in that position since the day she got it. Ugh...

[Laurel]

Your mom needs to cover her butt fast. She needs to review the law in this situation and comply with it ASAP.

eta: ASAP. It's possible she could already be in danger for not reporting it immediately. If this is a family willing to sue, your mother needs to do something now.

[new_mommy25]

That 4 year old is going to go home and tell his parents and then the sh*t will hit the fan. Your Mom needs to follow procedure and notify the correct people. I am shocked that it has taken so long. It is NEVER okay to hit a child. If that happened to my DC I would fight to shut down the whole operation. I hope your Mom finds the courage to do the right thing. What a difficult situation for her.

[o_mom]

She is most likely a mandated reporter and can be prosecuted if she does not call the authorities immediately.

[shawnandangel]

at this point as a parent, I would be livid that I wasn't informed of this the day it happened! The longer it takes to be reported to me, the parent, the angrier I would become.

[LarsMal]

I talked to my mom a little bit ago and stressed the importance of her and/or the teacher doing something about it NOW. She did hear from the pastor, who said, "Oh, Jesus" ;) and then said he didn't want to be in the middle of it, but they needed to call. I tried to really push the fact that she was putting herself in jeopardy by not doing it right away, and she knew that.

She just called me a few minutes ago and said she and the teacher called together. They are emailing the info to the Superintendant and she is getting her legal team together to put it all together. I'm pretty sure the woman will be out of a job by the end of the week.

My mom said the Superintendant almost seemed relieved, as in- we finally have something to nail her on. NICE! Maybe if you had that little confidence in her you should've removed her from her position before she actually struck a child!

[MamaMolly]

Holy Crapoly Batman! Glad to hear mom came to her senses.

[specialp]

So glad she's moving on it.

I rarely comment, but just wanted to point something out because a pp commented on being a mandatory reporter. The mandatory reporting requirements laws generally apply to suspected child abuse or neglect- and definitions in each state might vary. In my state, if you are a mandatory reporter, you have to report suspected child abuse/neglect "immediately" to either the chief of police or department of human resources (you can by phone and then follow up with written report). I do not know that a smack by the teacher/Superintendent would trigger the reporting requirement (although definitely grounds for dismissal by the school and something the parent should be contacted about), but IF it did, mom going to the Pastor, Superintendent, her employer's chain of command etc. wouldn't relieve her of the legal obligation to report it herself to the state authority if her state requires it. Again, pointing that out just in case.



at this point as a parent, I would be livid that I wasn't informed of this the day it happened! The longer it takes to be reported to me, the parent, the angrier I would become.

AGREED. Also, not to beat up on mom as this is a scary situation for anyone to be in, but if I was the parent, I would be even angrier if I then found out that not only did mom fail to notify me asap, but she went and discussed this with an outsider (you) instead.

[1964pandora]

This would actually be a crime, (an assault and battery) in Virginia so I wonder whether it is a crime in your state. As a criminal defense attorney in Virginia, I have represented many parents who were charged with misdemeanor assault and battery for slapping a child in the face. I'm just talking about a single slap with no injuries. I just mention this so you may prepare your mother for the fact that it is possible she could be arrested for a misdemeanor. She may want to talk to her lawyer so if she faces being questioned by police she will know what she is going to do. Sorry this is so brief, only had a quick second to write.

Susan

[DrSally]

Isn't she a mandated reporter?

[MamaKath]

I am glad to see your update! ((Hugs)) to you for being a listening ear and encouraging her to act immediately. Prayers for that poor family of the child.

[LarsMal]

Isn't she a mandated reporter?

I don't know. She's on her way here now. Was supposed to be here earlier today, but with the events of the day they didn't leave until late. She called as they (mom and dad) were pulling out of the school at 6PM and the principal's car was still there, but she wasn't in her office. Don't know what was going down, but I'm sure she'll get updates tomorrow.

[LarsMal]

This would actually be a crime, (an assault and battery) in Virginia so I wonder whether it is a crime in your state. As a criminal defense attorney in Virginia, I have represented many parents who were charged with misdemeanor assault and battery for slapping a child in the face. I'm just talking about a single slap with no injuries. I just mention this so you may prepare your mother for the fact that it is possible she could be arrested for a misdemeanor. She may want to talk to her lawyer so if she faces being questioned by police she will know what she is going to do. Sorry this is so brief, only had a quick second to write.

Susan

My MOM could be arrested? She isn't the one who hit the child, the principal was!

[o_mom]

My MOM could be arrested? She isn't the one who hit the child, the principal was!

I think she misread the OP. I don't think your mom is in danger of being arrested. :hug:

[mommy111]

My MOM could be arrested? She isn't the one who hit the child, the principal was!
No danger of mom being arrested :hug:
She's had a hard time, make her a cup of hot chocolate before you ply her with questions :)
I am sure the parents will be somewhat pacified to know that the school took action to kick out the principal.

[1964pandora]

My MOM could be arrested? She isn't the one who hit the child, the principal was!

Oh, gosh, I'm SO SORRY! I shouldn't post when I'm in a hurry. NOT YOUR MOM, sorry!

Susan