Baby's Initials will be R.A.T. Should I mention it?

[MamaMolly]

A dear friend is having her first. Her DH is military and will be deployed for the birth, so they have already chosen the name (which is a lovely name). The only thing is that his initials will spell out RAT.

A small part of me wants to say something lighthearted just in case she hasn't thought of it, but the big part of me says to keep my trap shut.

Not saying anything is the right thing to do, isn't it? I just don't want this to be one of those 'why didn't you say anything?' moments down the road...

[bubbaray]

I wouldn't say anything. Unless they possibly have English as a second language and don't understand the nuances of initials and nicknames, but it d/n sound like that is the case here.

[elektra]

SIL's initials are RAG, and BIL's are GAG. It's just something they joke about now but was never that big of a deal.
I wouldn't mention it.
My opinion may be a bit one sided though because DH and I never mentioned DD's name to anyone until she was born. I personally wanted to avoid hearing any comments from people about how terrible the name was or that it reminded them of some horrible person or whatever.

[DietCokeLover]

I bet this is something that they have already noticed. I wouldn't say anything.

[KBecks]

Don't say anything.

[Laurel]

As someone who almost had a child with the initials ASS (until I realized what her monogram would look like) I would try to find a way to casually mention it. How is beyond me, but they may not have noticed.

[bluestarfish18]

My mom's initial's are KKK. No joke. Don't worry, she's not running around in a white sheet!

[JBaxter]

I would say something... I have teenagers and things like that get noticed later on and believe me it gets brought up. If they dont thing its a big deal thats fine but anything like book bags that get mongramed will all say RAT.

[LarsMal]

Hmmm...that's a tough one. I guess it depends on how close and open you are with that friend. Certain friends of mine I would say it in heartbeat, others I would consider, and still others I wouldn't say a word!

DH and I have come up with some names we really like for #3, and then realized the initials would spell GAS- scratch that!

DH has now come up with an entire list of middle initials we can't use b/c of what they would spell! He won't even go for GPS!

GL! Let us know if you tell her and what she says!

RAT isn't quite as bad as some of the others pointed out here, so maybe they know and don't care!

[Davids-Coco]

I don't think that I would mention it unless you are truly careful and lighthearted about it. People get a lot of grief for their name choices.

Realistically... a true monogram won't say RAT... The middle initial (big one) on the monogram is the last name. rTa.

Will the baby be born in 2008? It is the chinese year of the rat...

[Ceepa]

I wouldn't say anything. They picked a name and love it. Either they didn't think about the initials (menaing it's not such an important aspect in their decision) or else they thought of it but are content with the name and want to use it anyway.

[trentsmom]

DH's initials are GAS, and that was intentional! SIL told me that when her mom was having a c-section, she and her dad were in the waiting room. They knew DH's first initial was going to be G, and SIL said his middle name should begin with A. Evidently FIL thought it was funny, so now DH doesn't get his full initials on anything. This past Christmas, a colleague of DH gave him a monogrammed pen/pencil set. I thought it was really funny to have GAS written on both of them!

[srhs]

How far along is she? If there's still a lot of time (and she is a good friend), I'd wait. But if she's due very soon, I would be tempted to mention it in the most tactful of ways. BUT I am super-weird about linguistic things like that.

A good way may be to indeed order her something monogrammed. Then, before you order it, you could say, "I want to get you this because it's adorable, but how do you want the initials?"

[MamaKath]

My mom's initial's are KKK. No joke. Don't worry, she's not running around in a white sheet!
Just wondering if this is her married initials? I kept my middle name, so KRK. People do mistake monogrammed items for KKK and comment on it.

To the OP- I am not sure I would mention it directly if it is early in the pregnancy. I might ask how she was wanting the baby's initials ordered on a monogrammed item if you have been looking at any baby gifts (Lands End and LL Bean both have monogramming and cute gift ideas). :wink2:

I would think they have already realized though. I loved the name Owen as a middle name, but ds would have been SOK. Since I have a step-sister who is SIK (she was almost HIK) and it has always been humorous to the kids in the family (sibs and stepsibs), dh and I felt it would be a burden not a blessing. For sister it doesn't matter, her parents were born in Europe and did not have the same language background.

[ehmom]

How far along is she? If there's still a lot of time (and she is a good friend), I'd wait. But if she's due very soon, I would be tempted to mention it in the most tactful of ways. BUT I am super-weird about linguistic things like that.

A good way may be to indeed order her something monogrammed. Then, before you order it, you could say, "I want to get you this because it's adorable, but how do you want the initials?"


i think this is a great idea!

[CAM7]

I'd mention it. Somehow very casually and very nicely.

[mecawa]

I wouldn't say anything.

[ThreeofUs]

A good way may be to indeed order her something monogrammed. Then, before you order it, you could say, "I want to get you this because it's adorable, but how do you want the initials?"


I love this idea. It's really nice, gets across any point that might have been missed, and shows you care about her opinion.

[KHF]

I'd mention it. Somehow very casually and very nicely.

:yeahthat: A co-worker saved me from a horrible name mistake with DD. I was very grateful.

ETA: I think it depends on how good of a friend she is. The man that pointed out our name issue was a great friend of mine, and we joked around with each other a lot. Plus, we were still in the early stages of discussion on names...

[brittone2]

I don't think I could do it. I would feel really weird raising that issue with anyone, except perhaps a sister/close family member.

I think if you feel like you need to mention it, the monogram idea is a good one. Ask her how she'd prefer it as the PP said.

[lisams]

No I wouldn't say anything, and I surely wouldn't make a light joke about it to try and hint at it. DS's initials are ARS. Not as bad as RAT in my opinion, but his name was far more important than his initials. Plus, we've never had anything monogrammed and even if we did it would be aSr.

[M&Mmom]

I think it depends - does this name have special meaning? I worried alot about DS's initials but each name means a whole lot to us so I just bagged it and he got the initials.

Also, I disagree with waiting. If you are going to say something I would do so ASAP because it sounds like her DH wants very much to be involved with the naming. If you wait to tell her closer to the due date, he may be gone and then miss out on being part of the decision to either change the name and to what, or not.

[crayonblue]

I would. Mostly because in junior high everyone thought it was HILARIOUS that my name backwards is "anal." I remember crying I got teased so much. To me, names and possible ammo for teasing are BIG deals! Of course, you cannot help it one bit if you name your child something and then the name later gets a negative meaning.

[Corie]

As someone who almost had a child with the initials ASS (until I realized what her monogram would look like) I would try to find a way to casually mention it. How is beyond me, but they may not have noticed.


I briefly toyed with a name for my daughter that would have given
her the initials ASS. :)

I would also try to casually mention it. She may have absolutely
no idea.

I would want to know.

[Globetrotter]

I would say it casually so she doesn't get offended (I like the monogram idea). You know her more than we do - is she the type to take offense easily? If it's a name that has very special meaning, I would think twice before saying anything.

I am pretty sensitive about such things and rejected any names that could be easily teased. Some people don't mind!

[calv]

what are your thoughts on SOW? LOL

[bluestarfish18]

Just wondering if this is her married initials? I kept my middle name, so KRK. People do mistake monogrammed items for KKK and comment on it.

To the OP- I am not sure I would mention it directly if it is early in the pregnancy. I might ask how she was wanting the baby's initials ordered on a monogrammed item if you have been looking at any baby gifts (Lands End and LL Bean both have monogramming and cute gift ideas). :wink2:

I would think they have already realized though. I loved the name Owen as a middle name, but ds would have been SOK. Since I have a step-sister who is SIK (she was almost HIK) and it has always been humorous to the kids in the family (sibs and stepsibs), dh and I felt it would be a burden not a blessing. For sister it doesn't matter, her parents were born in Europe and did not have the same language background.


KKK are her maiden initials. She never took on my dad's last name, but being born in China, and moving to Calirfornia in the 80's, she never really understood the meaning on it. But we all still tease her.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'd mention it. Somehow very casually and very nicely.

That's what I would do too. I think it merits being pointed...if for no other reason than hearing her reason. :)

Beth

[JoyNChrist]

I would definitely mention it. It's possible she hasn't noticed it, or if she has she might not realize that other people WILL notice it and maybe make a big deal about it.

The reason I say that is DS's initials are ATM. We realized that before we named him, but we were okay with it and didn't think anyone else would notice or care. Well, now we have several aunts and family friends who call him "Cash". ;) I think it's cute, so I don't care, but in your friend's case, it might not turn out so well. I'd bring it up casually and nicely.

(The monogramming idea is also great, by the way.)

[MamaMolly]

Thank you, so much everyone, for your encouragement and understanding that this is so tricky. I really want to be gentle with this. My DH's boss' wife HATED the name we picked for DD and was really ugly about it, so I'm a bit sensitive about it!

We are very good friends, but as we are living in different states we aren't as close as we once were. The sticky part is that she is VERY close to her due date and her DH is already deployed. Plus she does have an international upbringing...so with the Chinese year of the Rat she may have decided it was good luck!

I think I'll do the monogramming idea. I agree it is a really nice way to bring it up without bringing it up, IYKWIM.

Cheers,

[Snow mom]

I would. Mostly because in junior high everyone thought it was HILARIOUS that my name backwards is "anal." I remember crying I got teased so much. To me, names and possible ammo for teasing are BIG deals! Of course, you cannot help it one bit if you name your child something and then the name later gets a negative meaning.


Kids can find something to make fun of in any name--they are very inventive. There are of course things that can make it worse but I'm always surprised what kids in the 7-14 range can find to tease. I personally would never come up with this backward spelling.

I'd worry less about three letter initials than what the first and last name initials are. DH's last name (I never changed mine and DD will just have DH's last name) starts with a M. I made a list of first initials with the last initial M and eliminated ones I thought wouldn't fly ("BM"). We've only told our name choice to a few people, but it's been helpful to have those few close friends proof the name for us. I know they wouldn't say anything unless they thought we were saddling the kid with something horrible. If I were close to someone who intended to give their child the initials "RAT" I'd probably just ask if the initials bother them and drop it there. It points it out, but it doesn't pass judgment on their decision.


~Lisa