What did you do?

[awoodm]

We are expecting DS # 2 in a few short weeks. My question is, how did you all introduce DC to the new baby? My son's Nana who lives out of state is coming to stay in our home with DS1 while we are at the hospital. Would you have DS1 come to the hospital or wait until you came home to do the introductions? I kind of assumed I would have DS1 come to the hospital to visit, but am now second guessing. It is a scheduled C-Section, so the first few days I might be pretty out of it. What did you all do?

Also, was there anything extra special you did for DC to prepare them for the birth? We have talked about it with DS in great length the whole time and he is very excited to meet his baby brother. So I feel that the transition will go pretty smoothly, but any suggestions on what worked for you would be appriciated!!

TIA

Anna

[LarsMal]

My DS was only 16 months when DD was born, so there wasn't quite as much discussion. Just- that's a baby in Mommy's belly, then- here's the baby!

I had a c/s with DD at 8:00 on a Friday night. DH brough DS to the hospital the following evening. I was feeling pretty good at that point, so I guess it just really depends on how you are feeling- maybe play it by ear.

I'm sure those with older DC can give you more advice on how best to introduce, since your DS is older than mine was. We didn't do anything special, though. We didn't have a special gift for DS or anything, but he was so young. He was more interested in the "It's a Girl!" balloon than anything else!

Since you'll be in the hospital a little longer than a vag delivery, think about how much your DS might miss you (or if he'll be distracted enough by Nana). If he's feeling sad or left out it might be nice to let him come to the hospital for a visit.

GL!

[SnuggleBuggles]

Ds came to the birth center a few hours after his brother was born. He brought a balloon and wore his "big brother" t-shirt. Per some advice I had read I was not holding the baby when he showed up.

Ds1 really wasn't up for staying long so grandma took him home after about 20 minutes. We left the birth center just a few hours later.

I think the best thing to do is follow ds's lead and don't force any interaction (with you, baby or anyone else).

GL!
Beth

[WatchingThemGrow]

Same care situation. Actually the IL's who live locally, brought my mom and DD to the hospital for a brief introduction. She was still being cared for by my mom when we were home for a few days. Worked out well b/c she had plenty of attention.

A new Corolle doll for her to take care of made for the BEST transition. We have pictures and video of her clipping My Brest Friend around her to feed, swaddling, diapering, and rocking the baby.

We also got her the I'm the Big Sister book by Joanna Cole. She liked it alot. The book was quickly trashed, though because DS had bad reflux and he "soiled" the book completely.

[ellies mom]

I had a scheduled c-section too. My mom brought DD1 over a few hours after she was born. We had a special gift waiting for her from her new sister that she had been wanting for ages. I cuddled with her for a bit. She held the baby for a bit then her dad took her out for some special time while my mom stayed with me. When they got back, I cuddled with both her and the baby and her alone then my mom took her home for the night. We basically did that for the entire time I was in the hospital (two nights). Grammy had lots of fun activities planned and she had fun with her dad as well.

[bubbaray]

I had a scheduled c/s with DD#2. Our best friends came into town (drove 5 hours in a snowstorm!) to look after DD#1 and they brought her to the hospital and they all saw me and the baby as soon as I was out of recovery. IIRC, DD#2 was born at 8:30am and I saw DD#1/our friends by 10:30am.

I ordered a LE medium open top canvas tote, had it embroidered with DD#1 and filled it with presents from DD#2, and DD#1 got it that day. I filled it with vidoes, crafts for our friends to do with her, etc. A Big sister book. Busy stuff. She thought that was GREAT! Our friends got her "I'm a Big Sister" t-shirt from the hospital gift shop.

I was in the hospital 3 nights and DD#1 came every day. I can't imagine waiting until I was home to see her again. I wasn't out of it at all. I had a spinal and felt great (well, OK, itchy, but a shot of benadryl in the IV stopped that quickly).

OP, I would ask about what kind of anesthetic your OB likes to use. I was told that spinals are the preferred anesthetic for scheduled c/s. Apparently, they act faster (um, like within seconds) and they wear off faster, smaller needle, fewer complications, etc.. I had 1 shot of morphine in my post-op IV (I think they do that in the OR) and no other pain meds other than tylenol & motrin. I was fine, totally lucid, up and walking around that evening.

I second getting a nice doll for your first child. My DD#1 does a pretty good imitation of BFg, LOL.

GL!

[elliput]

My DH and Mom brought DD to the birth center the day after delivery to meet her new brother. DH had taken pictures right after delivery so first thing in the morning, my Mom printed one of me and one of DS to give to DD. She carried them around with her all morning before coming to visit and then again all afternoon until we came home that evening.

A word of caution- be prepared for a bit of separation anxiety when it is time to leave. My DD was not happy when she had to leave me at the birth center. DH had to carry her out while she was screaming and crying.

[maestramommy]

Dora was only 20 months when Arwyn was born, so we didn't mention it until I was really big. By that time some of my friends had their second, so Dora had met some babies, learned the sign for baby, and I was able to tell her I had a baby in my tummy.

As for introducing her, I had read that it's better for the mom not to be holding the baby when they come into the room. But I hadn't clued Dh on that, and I didn't know they were coming. The nurses were there and going through the nursing when they showed up. So it was all a little awkward because I was holding Arwyn, and as soon as Dora saw me she was like, "mommy mommy mommy". So there I am now with two kids in my lap (sign of things to come?;)). But it all worked out okay. We didn't give her a gift from the baby because we knew she wouldn't get it. She still didn't really understand the concept of presents yet.

[KpbS]

As for introducing her, I had read that it's better for the mom not to be holding the baby when they come into the room.

Yes, I heard this too. But now I can't remember if we did it or not ? LOL

Not sure if you have emphasized this but I told DS1 that babies cry A LOT b/c they have no words and that mommy would often have her hands full helping DS2 and DS1 would have to be patient and wait. I think it was a good choice to tell him in advance.

To the hospital he brought a present for the baby (a teddy bear like his original stuffed animal that "sings") and he received from the baby a doctor's kit.

Good luck to you--I notice that our guys are almost the same ages apart. Our transition was very smooth w/ little to no sibling rivalry. Our biggest problem was DS1 loved DS2 so much it was a little scary when he was tiny. Today they are very cute and find each other to be hilarious.

[sarahsthreads]

Good luck to you--I notice that our guys are almost the same ages apart. Our transition was very smooth w/ little to no sibling rivalry. Our biggest problem was DS1 loved DS2 so much it was a little scary when he was tiny. Today they are very cute and find each other to be hilarious.
Yeah - my mom said she used to think my little brother felt more "solid" as a baby than I did because he was a boy, but after holding her second granddaughter (also a "solid" baby, according to her) she's decided that the second child must be just built sturdier to stand up to all the loving from the first!

As far as introducing the two, my mom came over to watch DD1 and she and my dad brought her to the hospital that afternoon (about 12 hours after DD2 was born). She didn't want to see me at all, she only had eyes for "her" baby. (Well, eventually she noticed I was in the room too and we cuddled for a bit.)

Coming home didn't go quite so smoothly. DD1 was absolutely *frantic* whenever DD2 cried, and even though we had warned her that babies cry, I don't think we really did a good enough job letting her know how much they cry! So that first night at home was pretty rough. Poor DH had three crying girls to deal with. ;)

Good luck! There's nothing sweeter than watching my two giggle at each other.

Sarah :)

[Sugar Magnolia]

When ds2 was born my mom brought ds1 to the hospital right after I gave birth. They came into the delivery room to see ds2. I really don't know what I was thinking. It was not a good idea.

When dd was born dh brought the boys to see us the day after she was born. They brought me lunch and we all ate while looking at dd. It was so much better! I was not holding dd when they came into the room either. I remember ds2 not wanting anyone to take dd out of her bassinet!

Good Luck!

[cono0507]

We had DS (then 2.5yo) come to the hospital a few hours after DD was born. DD was in the NICU so I wasn't holding her, but we were able to bring DS down to the NICU to see her. When it was time to go home, we had grandma drop DS off at the hospital and he helped us bring DD home, so it was me, DH, DD and DS in the car. It seems that this made an easier transition for him rather than having DD just arrive at home.

Prior to DD's arrival, we got DS a Corolle doll and a few books and talked about his friends' baby siblings. I also had a little bag of treats when he got to the hospital - a gift from baby.

[elephantmeg]

I had a scheduled c section too, it was at 1ish I think. We took DS to his normal babysitter then my in laws picked him up around 5ish and were at the hospital by 5:30 or so. I was feeling fine. "DD" gave him a thomas take along set and so he and I played Thomas while the grandparents held DD. He was unimpressed but fine with the whole thing. My parents came in that evening and stayed at our house with him. They all came the next morning to see us-and again DS played Thomas with mommy... the next day we came home. It went fine and DS is SO SWEET with his baby sister. Just this morning they were playing together in DS's crib-DS was playing peek-a-boo :)