How do you deal with horrific news?

[bubbaray]

This is kinda a bitch, but kinda a question too.

How do you deal with nasty news stories? In a past job, I was right in the middle of nasty nasty fact situations and after a few years, I just couldn't do it any more. There has been a news item here that is really really REALLY bothering me and I just can't shake it. DH says just don't read/watch, which is fine, except I already did and now I can't get it out of my head. Kinda takes me right back to being in the trenches.

The bitch part is why do people do horrible things to children? Its bad enough that we do bad things to each other, but man, children. I just do not understand.... I'm quite spiritual, but honestly, these things shake me to my core. I don't understand why they happen. I don't believe that bad things happen to children to make them stronger, or that they are only given what they can handle.

Sigh.

[Melaine]

That is such a hard question. I hate reading/seeing those stories and I really don't have any reason to, so I avoid them (I haven't read whatever story you are referring to). I just remind myself of the verse where Joseph is talking to his brothers, who mistreated him, abused him, and finally sold him into slavery (he was probably only a child himself then). Joseph said, (Genesis 50:20) "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people." God does allow freewill and people make horrible choices, but He does bring good out of terrible situations as well. In our world it is the natural thing for wrong to occur. When good happens, it is God's hand at work. I guess we just have to pray that we'll be able to point others toward Him even during tragedies.

[Edensmum]

I don't have answers, I have heard things that I just have a tough time processing or dealing with and it just takes time to get them off my mind.
You can try focusing on the moment, and stopping any thoughts that are not useful once they enter your mind and refocusing on the moment. Other than that I try to filter the things that come into my world as much as possible. HUGS.
As for why people hurt kids, there is no good explanation for that.

[carolinamama]

I do try to avoid alot of news because I do become disturbed by things and they replay in my mind over and over. However, I am not sure how you deal with it once you have seen it. I usually have to let it run it's course in my mind, which is never fun. Give your kids extra hugs and think about how much you love them and how well they are treated.

I agree with you that bad things do NOT make kids stronger. I don't understand how people can do the things that they do.

As a side note, I also don't understand how/why people kill their spouses. The spouse is always the first suspect and oftentimes, there are kids involved. Argh.

[egoldber]

I honestly don't watch the local news pretty much ever. If I read the paper, I typically just read the national/world news. I also never watch commercial television during the day and only recorded stuff at night, so as a consequence I tend to naturally avoid the more sensational stories. I just don't think too much news is good for you. It gives you a really skewed sense of reality.

But when I do hear things....well, I dunno. I am not religious and I honestly think that helps. I don't have any need to reconcile my religious view of the world with the day to day happenings of the world. I guess I just believe that most people are good people with good intentions. But I do believe that there are people who are, for whatever reason, evil and/or with only a limited ability to self regulate. And some people just snap or are driven over the edge for some reason.

[hillview]

We don't watch TV. I HATE those horrid stories.
/hillary

[ShanaMama]

That is such a hard question. I hate reading/seeing those stories and I really don't have any reason to, so I avoid them (I haven't read whatever story you are referring to). I just remind myself of the verse where Joseph is talking to his brothers, who mistreated him, abused him, and finally sold him into slavery (he was probably only a child himself then). Joseph said, (Genesis 50:20) "You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good. He brought me to this position so I could save the lives of many people." God does allow freewill and people make horrible choices, but He does bring good out of terrible situations as well. In our world it is the natural thing for wrong to occur. When good happens, it is God's hand at work. I guess we just have to pray that we'll be able to point others toward Him even during tragedies.

What a beautiful outlook. My answer to the OP is that I also take it to heart and eat myself up for days. Hence DH and my friends know not to share terrible stories with me. DH 'censors' me to the extent that I sometimes hear old news at work and have no idea what everyone is talking about.

[maestramommy]

Maybe not the best way, but I ignore or push away that kind of news as much as possible. And these days I don't click on links (like the one in the other thread) if I think it's going to be bad.

I know sh*t happens to children, and it's always a tragedy. But I don't need to be reminded of it everyday. It's just too hard to deal with otherwise.

ETA: I'm nodding my head in agreement with Beth's post, esp. the 2nd paragraph.

You're a stronger woman than I, Melissa. I could never be in your line of work.

[Snow mom]

A friend of mine works for child protective services. It is truly her job to remove children from abusive situations, and in some cases, place the children back into situations that have been "cleaned up." I think it helps her to remember that she is not responsible for the abuse in the first place. She does the best she can for every child she deals with. That doesn't mean horrible things don't happen, but I think it is incredibly brave and strong of her to go to work every day with what she deals with.

Avoiding stories of abuse doesn't help the problem, but that is typically what I do also. Sometimes I feel like the media exploits these horrific news stories and I think that is really sad. If you can't avoid hearing about these things I'd recommend separating yourself from them a bit and maybe trying to do something productive to make yourself feel better, like looking into abuse hotlines or non-profits that could have some positive impact on future stories.


~Lisa

[MMMommy]

I've come to the conclusion that there are just really, really sick, bad, and twisted people out there. It sickens me when I read/hear news stories about bad things happening to children (or to anyone, for that matter). I get so angry when I read about people who not only take their own lives, but the lives of their own children and spouses. If you are going to take your own life, why on earth do you have to take others with you? That just makes me so angry.

[ThreeofUs]

My answer is 'not well'. I react with anger, sadness, disgust ... and the images keep haunting me. I try to rationally put whatever happened on my mental watch list, and then push it out of my mind, but that seldom works. And it seems like there are so many of these stories these days.

I have to just not go there; I censor my news.

[Tammy]

Since having DD I cannot stand to hear those kinds of stories or watch movies like that either. It just seems so much more "real" now and makes me really sad. So I try to avoid them altogether. Not always possible, but if I see a title that gives a hint of the story then I don't look.