Did your age influence your decision of when to have another baby?

[Tammy]

I just turned 35, and I know I'm not old. Heck, I don't even feel my age. DD just turned 2 recently and we've been thinking about when we'd like to start trying for another baby. DH would be ready whenever, but I'm not there quite yet. Mainly because I feel like DD is still pretty dependent and wants my time at night, and I don't want to miss out on things either. (BTW- I work FT)
My OB said don't worry, I had a healthy good pregnancy with DD so shouldn't be a problem if I wait. It did take us exactly a year to get pregnant also. So knowing all this, I think okay I can wait a little longer. And then I think well I hate to have problems and more risks though the longer we wait. (My cousin just had 2 miscarriages and she's 2 years older than me.)
Just wondering your thoughts?

[amldaley]

Age is totally affecting my decision whether or not to even have another. I am 34 and dd is only 3 mos. I had a rough pregnancy and a non-elective scheduled C section. I have 57 lbs to lose and don't want to wait too much past 35 to add to the clan. I am terrified of what could go wrong.

But, if you are healthy, go for it! I wouldn't wait tooooo long though. Plus, consider your sperm donor's (dh) age and heath, too.

[HIU8]

I was 34 when DS was born and 36 when DD was born. I didn't want to wait any longer b/c we were considering more than 2 and I wanted to have all my children before 40. Now I'm annoyed b/c DH is dead set against a third. We could have had more than 2.5 years between children and made it a bit easier for DS. Oh well, 20/20 hindsight....

[StantonHyde]

Totally!!! I was 37.5 when I had DS and 40 when I had DD. I wanted kids about 2.5 years apart though. I just do not like pushing the odds.

[maylips]

Completely. DD is 20 months and I am 35. I also had a healthy pregnancy (but did have a c-section) - but we're trying to conceive now because we don't know how long it will take to get pregnant and because we don't know if the next pregnancy will be an easy one. I would feel half that kind of pressure if I was younger.

[MontrealMum]

Yes. I conceived DS at 35 and had a healthy pregnancy, delivered vaginally. Trying for DS at 35 was completely motivated by my feeling my age, we'd been together for quite a few years at that point. I am now 37 and DS is 15 mos. We are only now getting back on our feet, as it were - things were very rocky after DS' birth. If we're going to have another, I'd like to do it soon (before 40 - don't know why, but it's the magical number for me), but not if our time with DS is compromised. We'll see what happens in the next year.

[MelissaTC]

Well this is a timely question since this came up at my appointment this week with my endocrinologist. I have PCOS and thought I had until 35 as to whether or not to try again if we wanted. She informed me at my old age of 33 that I should have been trying already since my odds are not good. Not sure if we are going to try or not but geesh!!

[lizajane]

no. but i was 27 with my first, 29 with my second. i am 33. dh is 35. he doesn't want anymore. but we have at least 7 years to change our minds (for some reason i see 40 as a magic number for me).

[bubbaray]

Yes. I was 37 when I got PG with DD#1 via IF treatments. About 1.5 yrs later, we did another cycle and I got PG again, but m/c. About 6m later, I did a 3rd cycle and got PG with DD#2. I was 40 when I had DD#2. Our RE told us that age was definitely a factor. They wanted us to try for #2 when DD#1 was only 6m old.

[C99]

Yes. I had my first and then I started to do the math. It was less my age at the time of conception/birth and more my age when the kids would be in high school, college, getting married, etc.

[kijip]

Well, my age has definitely meant I feel we can leave the subject open for the near/longer future. Since I am only 28 and #2 is on the way in January, I feel that I can reasonably wait a few more years before revisiting the issue. If I was older now, I would feel like I need to decide sooner one way or the other if we wanted to have more children.

[ThreeofUs]

Yes. I didn't want to be much older than I am - 42 - at last baby, if only because my ability to maintain a smile while sleep deprived is diving. ;)

[WatchingThemGrow]

Yes, I guess it did. We didn't get married until 35, so we kinda scratched our heads and said, "Well, if we happen to get pg, then it is meant to be." DD was born right before I turned 36. Nursed (with major issues through 6 mos), AF returned shortly after weaning. Lather, rinse, repeat as they say. DS arrived when I was 37. The last one will be born right before I turn 39.

I guess the biggest age/motivating factor for me is the "risk" factor of abnormalities past 40. That being said, we decline testing as it wouldn't change our actions during pg. The spacing between each of ours is roughly 18 mos., so when I say "ours" I really mean ours. DH does A LOT more for us than I see other dads doing. I'm exhausted while gestating.

Things that didn't influence our decision of when to have another: space in house, money, work plans, ages of other DC, parental energy, sleep issues (we lucked out or something), nursing issues. We just keep praying our needs will be met in regards to these things. So far, so good. We are happy with the way things have turned out.

[KHF]

It did for me. I didn't meet DH until I was 30, we were married when I was 32, waited a year and then got pregnant with DD. I had her right before I turned 34. We started trying to get pregnant right around the time she turned 2. It took us about 10 months (after only taking 3 the first time), and I had decided that if it hadn't happened by the time I was 38 that it wasn't going to.

I turn 37 on Monday, so that's where I'll be when DS is born. The way I've felt this pregnancy, I'm not sure I'd want to get pregnant much older than this. It's been difficult on me, and thus been a bit of a strain on our marriage lately.

[maestramommy]

I was almost 37 when Dora was born, so yes age did have something to do with WHEN we wanted to have the next one. We didnt' worry too much, but Arwyn came on her own schedule. After that I could feel myself getting worn out so I told Dh if we were going to have another it'd have to be very soon because I'm getting tired and I want to get the pregnancy with a toddler thing over with! My second pregnancy was very uncomfy even though it was problem-free. I told Dh I could probably handle being pregnant one more time and that was it!

[squimp]

You are young, in my opinion, at your age I would not be having any second thoughts. The important question, seems to me, is whether you want more children. You certainly can't go backward in time, but you can control your future to some extent.

It all depends on your health and your attitude though. I had a very easy birth at age 37, and can't imagine my life any other way.

[egoldber]

Well the trouble is you just never know. I had no trouble getting pregnant in my early 30s, but my late 30s was entirely different story. In addition to just being able to conceive, the risk for miscarriage also increases with age (this goes hand in hand with the increased risk for chromosomal abnormalities). For some people it's not an issue but for others it is. You really cannot generalize from someone else's experience what your experience will be.

If it were *me* and I was 37, and knew I definitely wanted at least one more child, I would not put off having another child much longer. JMO.

[jk3]

I would not wait. One never knows how long it will take or what issues will crop up, even if there were no prior issues. I would rather have 2 close in age than risk having difficulties.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Age isn't an issue for me but my friend had #2 when she was 38. She told me several times that she found everything about pregnancy harder when she was older. It kind of stood out in my mind as a possible reason to have babies younger, if possible. Otherwise, like everything in life, you just roll with it.

Beth

[hillview]

Yes I was over 35 when I had DS #2 and we were TTC when DS #1 was 1 year old -- we had to use an IF doc both times so we felt more pressure.
/hillary

[LarsMal]

I had always said that I wanted to be finished having kids by the time I was 32. We had DS when I had just turned 28, I was 29 1/2 when we had DD and I'll be just shy of 32 when #3 is born. We are 95% sure that we are done after #3, but there is a slight chance we'll have a fourth. Now I want to be sure I'm finished by 35.

[KrisM]

Yes, for us. We met at 30, married at 31, had DS at 33, DD at 35, and DS2 at 37. I am 38 now and am tired. I am glad I didn't have trouble getting pregnant and was able to be done before 40. That was my magic number age.

[scrooks]

Age is a factor for me but not a huge factor yet...I was 31 when DD was born and we are starting to think about TTC #2- I am 32 now. I wanted to be done by 35 but if we have 3 I don't know if that will happen. I don't think it's a big deal to me as much as it is to my DH. He is going to be 37 in a few weeks and worries about being an old Dad. I think he's nuts- it's just all his friends had their last when we we having our first...