Did we do something wrong with ds1?

[SnuggleBuggles]

He is almost 6.5 and doesn't believe in magic. If he can't see it then he just doesn't believe it. This extends to the tooth fairy and I bet Santa.

He is right and he makes some good, astute conclusions. He has really reasoned things out. But, he just seems so little to have decided there is no magic though. Is this about the right age for these sorts of thoughts?

He is still very happy. He's just super analytical and things every single thing through from every possible angle.

I just hope we didn't screw up somewhere along the way. He has shown skepticism about magical things in the past year and we will never confirm or deny, we just ask him what he thinks.

Any thoughts?

Beth

[irie i]

Sounds like he is just a very gotta-see-it-or-understand-it-to-believe-it sorta little guy! :) I don't see anything wrong with that! I was the same way...I also always wanted to know how things work and my favorite question was WHY which did sometimes annoy my parents. My Mom's favorite answer was "because I said so" which didn't appease me in the least. lol. I just kept questioning and questioning and saying "that isn't a good reason." Other than being annoying the one thing about this that bothered my Mom is that I am an atheist...but she's over that...at least she has been but wait 'til she thinks its time to "baptize" my baby (due January) then we will see how "over it" she really is!

[Gena]

I think this is probably a personality trait and not anything you did.

When I was around that age, I decided that I would not read any more "made-up stories" because they were lies and I and would only read things that were true. I also disliked fantasy and magic at that age.

My parents told me that at school I had to read what the teacher assigned, but at home I could choose what to read. As a result I acquired a wonderful collection of children's non-fiction including history, science, and biographies. They were also careful to distinguish between "magic" and our religious beliefs so that they were able to preserve and nurture my faith.

Around age 12, I eventually went back to reading fiction by choice, but only science fiction and definately not fantasy. This holds true even today. I still read mostly non-fiction with a good "hard sci-fi" novel thrown in now and then.

I think it is okay for your son the be skeptical about magic. It doesn't mean that he cannot still find wonder in the world. Rainbows and sunsets are still beautiful when you understand the science behind them. And knowing that men really walked on the moon inspires awe in many children. Find out what inspires him and run with it. He will find his own magic in that.

[SnuggleBuggles]

On the subject of religion...we aren't religious (I'm non-practicing Catholic and dh is non -practicing UCC) but I don't want to really close ds's door to religion. I want him to find his own path. So, when he told me the other day that G*d was not real because no one has ever seen him ("the planes fly up in the clouds; heaven is in the clouds; someone should have seen something") I responded with, "sometimes you just have to choose to believe." He agreed to do that.

I agree, Gena, there is magic everywhere and he does seem to appreciate naturally occuring wonders. So, I guess we are pretty good.


Beth

[lizajane]

not believing in santa (etc) at an early age is a sign of giftedness.

;)

rest easy. he is just really smart.

[Tondi G]

not believing in santa (etc) at an early age is a sign of giftedness.

;)

rest easy. he is just really smart.

This came to my mind as well. My DS is 7 and he has been questioning Santa, the tooth fairy etc. I think he is extra smart though cause I have a suspicion that he really knows that these things aren't "real" but he chooses to let his parents continue to think he does believe cause he knows where the toys and $ are coming from! LOL I'm just thankful that he still plays it up for his little brother and doesn't spoil it for him!!!!

[s7714]

I don't think there's anything wrong with not believing in "magic". IMO it's more important to believe in the fun of imagination, but also to accept that some things do happen seemingly without explanation simply because we don't know the answers to everything.

I think some kids are just naturally logical when it comes to that stuff. Even as a young child I never was one to totally accept the theories of Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc. I distinctly remember hiding under the coffee table the night before Easter when I was 4 years old with the sole intention of trying to catch my mom or dad putting stuff in my Easter basket. (Didn't work though--I fell asleep!) I never out right questioned the concepts until I was about 6 or 7 however.

[irie i]

On the subject of religion...we aren't religious (I'm non-practicing Catholic and dh is non -practicing UCC) but I don't want to really close ds's door to religion. I want him to find his own path. So, when he told me the other day that G*d was not real because no one has ever seen him ("the planes fly up in the clouds; heaven is in the clouds; someone should have seen something") I responded with, "sometimes you just have to choose to believe." He agreed to do that.


*nods* Also, people see "god" in so many different things that CAN be seen...they see god in creatures and in good people/good deeds...and in the many wonders of the world that haven't been explained scientifically. :)

[egoldber]

Sarah's best friend (an 8 year old boy) is like this. He is just very, very analytical. Sarah has questioned things, but she wants to be believe, so she doesn't push too hard LOL!

The only thing that bothered me is that he told her that the tooth fairy was not real (and convinced her) before she even lost her first tooth. That really kind of upset me. She now pseudo believes. She knows it's me, but wants to believe, so she just pretends to.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Once I am positive that he doesn't believe in any of the Santa, tooth fairy...stuff I will be sure to have the "don't spoil it for other kids" talk. :)

Beth

[mamicka]

I don't believe that the belief in magic & the joy in imagination are anywhere close to the same thing. I also believe that it may indicate that he's gifted. So I don't see this as a problem at all.

As far as God being real, i_irie made a good point. I would also emphasize that "seeing" God with your eyes isn't what belief or faith is about, its about believing & "seeing" God with your heart.

ETA: Good luck with the not telling other kids about Santa. Expectations are *very* high. You'll be holding your breath every time someone mentions Santa.

[tarahsolazy]

I think its fine. I have no intention of fostering a belief in Santa, tooth fairy, whatever with my son. He's 4.5 and we haven't done Santa, and don't intend on starting. If he wants to play Santa as a pretend game, that's great. My mom says that my twin and I figured it out at age 4 or 5, so I never remember believing in Santa, Easter Bunny, whatever. I still enjoyed holidays as a child.

[maestramommy]

Sounds pretty normal. I really don't think there was anything you did or didn't do. Some kids just don't believe in things they can't see. I do remember never believing in the mythical Santa, but it didn't really color my childhood;)

[Davids-Coco]

I don't think you did anything wrong. Its just a personality thing.

But I do see a difference in believing in magic (disappearing people, optical illusions type stuff, etc) and believing in "magic" (the kind people share, the magic of the seasons - not santa, the magic of disney). The second kind to me is more of a feeling and excitement, and gives you the warm fuzzies.

[kijip]

Sounds like a very science minded little guy. I don't think you did anything wrong.

T declared that he believes in Santa because he "chooses to believe in some things even if they are not "really real" because it is fun to believe" and that "that Santa is real even if there is not really a real Santa". ;)

I agree with the pp that lack of belief in magic does not equal lack of imagination.

T is very into how things work, why they work and how to build stuff. It takes a lot of creativity and imagination to be a good scientist/builder/inventor.

[set81616]

I never really believed in Santa Claus or any of the other holiday fairies. I was a questioning child and I could figure things out. Mom says couldn't use most of the safety stuff because I would sit there and figure out how to work it. Mom gave me the first 3 Harry Potter books for my wedding gift and instead of preparing for the wedding I was reading. I devoured them. I love fantasy and magic now. I think it's personality more that anything else. Just keep exposing him.
Shannon