Need help - situation with neighbor and dog...

[clc053103]

I am posting here thinking perhaps some families with a dog could give me a suggestion on how they would prefer to be approached if it were their dog....

I am "friendly" (not friends, but we do chat on the street and she's nice enough) with a neighbor who got a puppy about 4 months ago. As a side note, she has made it quite clear that she didn't want a dog, she got the dog for DH (who is gone at least 12 hours a day at work and I have seen walking said dog exactly once in these four months) and for her kids. Well, it could not be clearer that she does not want the dog. I say this because I listen to this dog yelp for a grand total of about 4 hours a day when she leaves him chained outside. As the dog gets bigger, the stays outside seem to be getting longer. I thought maybe once the windows were closed I wouldn't hear it, but I do, and I am concerned because I plan to move DS's bedroom to that side of the house in the next two months and fear the yelping will keep him from sleeping- he seems to be out there largely all afternoon during DS's naptime, as well as early as 7 am and as late as 11.

The dog isn't just barking at people passing or squirrels- he's yelping as if being tortured. I can't take it anymore. I am not comfortable with confrontation, I have no intention of moving any time soon and dont want to make an enemy so close to my house. I've tried mentioning it to her closer friend, and that friend just said yeah, she didn't want a dog, i told her not to get a big dog- which is all fine and good, but by putting her "problem" outside, she's making him my problem! Another neighbor suggested I leave an anonymous note in her mailbox- if this were your dog, would you be ok with this approach?

Honestly, if I didn't know her, I would have called the police by now. I have waited this long because i thought one of her other neighbors would have complained by now, because they are even closer to the house- but no such luck. any advice appreciated!!

TIA!

[WatchingThemGrow]

I knew of someone who got dog notes in the mailbox. Made them more willing to leave them outside.

I've been the dog owner (years ago), but I don't think I left her outside for long.

We're currently in the same or similar situation to you. New renters next door have one dog during the week and two on the weekend (boyfriend comes to stay.) The barking comes through the monitor in DS' room and it is HIGHLY annoying. When we go into our fenced in backyard to play, the dog goes nuts. DD screams "stop barking you doggie" for the whole time we're out there. Lovely.

One night, the dog kept on and kept on and kept on. I felt bad calling because I know the mom just suffered a m/c and here we sit having our new child/month. I was willing to go get earplugs, but I drifted off. DH, on the other hand, got up, found my phone around 11:30pm, called and left her a message (kindly, he says) to please take her dog inside as he was unable to sleep with the dog barking outside our bedroom window.

It seemed to help a little bit. The 8 yr old boy apologized when he was over playing a few days later. Yeah, like he was up and it was his responsibility...

No good solutions here, but maybe DH can "go nuts" one night and make the call?

[niccig]

I think a note is a good idea, but I would sign my name.
I would tell her that you understand that dogs bark, but as the dog is outside for hours at at time, the constant barking and yelping is keeping your DS awake, so that they can't sleep.

Dogs are social animals, so he's barking to get attention as he's bored. You could also suggest a few alternatives, like indoors, chew toys etc to keep the dog occupied.

I would drop it off, so she can read it on her own time. Then when you see her next time, mention the note and the dog barking and ask her what she can try to do to resolve the problem.

Our neighbors had a a friend that would come over and leave his dog in the driveway. They would all leave, and the dog would bark until 10.30pm or so. I finally left a note saying that I know dogs bark, but as it's dark and the dog is alone outside, it was constantly barking and keeping DS awake (he was 1 year old), and could they please keep the dog inside when they leave. The neighbour apologised and told me they had told their friend that he could no longer bring the dog over, he was doing it because his neighbours had complained about the dog barking. Well, gees thanks for inflicting it on us then!.

ETA. We had 2 dogs and once our dogs were left outside for too long and barked and the neighbours complained. After that, I was very careful about how long they were outside, and if I did need to leave them out for longer eg. carpets cleaned and needed to dry, I would tell my neighbours what was going on, so they knew it was a short term thing. We no only have 1 dog, and she is not a barker, but regardless she's inside with us, she can go outside as she pleases, but we don't keep her out there for long periods of time.

[nfowife]

You should be able to call animal control anonymously. They will visit or leave a note as a warning and if enough complaints are logged they can fine the owners in most places.

[trales]

We have actually called the police on our neighbors who leave the dogs out for hours barking, they have 6 of them. I understand a bark occassionally, we have two dogs and they bark at the squirels and deer, but it is one or two barks here and there.

You might mention the noise ordiance in your note and the hours etc. Be nice and polite with note, sign your name. If you get no relief, then you are going to have to use the police. Don't feel bad about it, you are doing nothing wrong.

[maylips]

I would talk to her. If you guys are friendly enough that you can tell her personality and you approach it the right way, you can by being straightforward than risk making her angry (of having someone see you and then tell her it's you) by anonymously putting something in her box.

We have a new dog (that drives me insane but is still an inside dog) that yelped when I crated her to run errands one day. My neighbor called and left a message telling me that she wasn't complaining, only that she thought I would want to know that the dog yelped for over an hour - she was letting me know b/c the dog is a rescue and apparently has separation anxiety problems (a whole other post). I was horrified and embarrassed. Then again, I still wouldn't put her outside on a chain - that's not being a responsible dog owner. So maybe she'll react differently but I still think you should tell her.

I would just approach her and say "listen, I hate mentioning this because I don't want to sound like a complaining neighbor, but we hear your dog barking all day outside inside our home. It's really distracting to DC and interferes with his naps. Is there a way you could keep him from barking?" (it would be even better if you have an actual solution, but unfortunately that is probably exercise and attention, neither of which the dog seems to be getting or will ever get). At the very least, she would at least know her choices are affecting others around her.

Is she home all day? How can she bear to hear that and ignore it?

Good luck!

[niccig]

We have a new dog (that drives me insane but is still an inside dog) that yelped when I crated her to run errands one day. My neighbor called and left a message telling me that she wasn't complaining, only that she thought I would want to know that the dog yelped for over an hour - she was letting me know b/c the dog is a rescue and apparently has separation anxiety problems (a whole other post). I was horrified and embarrassed.


Don't know if you still need help with the crate training, but we had a rescue dog that we crate trained. To help her adjust, we put a blanket over the crate so it was cozy, it was in our room at night at first so she was near us, and we would give her a treat when we put her in there. We also put her in for short periods during the day when we were at home to get her used to it. She came to love the crate and would go in on her own.

[WatchingThemGrow]

I would talk to her. If you guys are friendly enough that you can tell her personality and you approach it the right way, you can by being straightforward than risk making her angry (of having someone see you and then tell her it's you) by anonymously putting something in her box.

We have a new dog (that drives me insane but is still an inside dog) that yelped when I crated her to run errands one day. My neighbor called and left a message telling me that she wasn't complaining, only that she thought I would want to know that the dog yelped for over an hour - she was letting me know b/c the dog is a rescue and apparently has separation anxiety problems (a whole other post). I was horrified and embarrassed. Then again, I still wouldn't put her outside on a chain - that's not being a responsible dog owner. So maybe she'll react differently but I still think you should tell her.

I would just approach her and say "listen, I hate mentioning this because I don't want to sound like a complaining neighbor, but we hear your dog barking all day outside inside our home. It's really distracting to DC and interferes with his naps. Is there a way you could keep him from barking?" (it would be even better if you have an actual solution, but unfortunately that is probably exercise and attention, neither of which the dog seems to be getting or will ever get). At the very least, she would at least know her choices are affecting others around her.

Is she home all day? How can she bear to hear that and ignore it?

Good luck!
:yeahthat: That will probably get you the best response, IMO.

[lizajane]

the great thing about my suggestion is that is ALWAYS applies...

just be honest.

a neighbor called me and left a message, saying that tucker was barking for up to two hours at a time and, well, it is really annoying. that is how she worded it. she just told the truth. and i was sorry. i wasn't annoyed with her or angry or spiteful. i just wanted to fix the situation.

another neighbor called animal control because my dogs escape (kids let them out by accident) and they are seen wandering the neigborhood. when i can, i rush right out and grab them. but if i didn't see it happen, or if i have a sleeping child at home, i can't run through the neighborhood after them. it makes me crazy. so for someone to call animal control so that they would be taken away and i would be charged a huge fine was NO OK WITH ME. if someone had called me, i would have apologized and worked really hard to not let them get away (which i now do). but animal control??? they didn't even growl at anyone.

TELL HER. plain and simple.

i solved our problem with a shock collar that has grades of "static" response to barks. so it starts out very light and gets more intense as the barking continues. our dog stopped barking after less than one minute of barking with the collar on the lowest setting. he is a 75lb lab. and now he doesn't bark if he wears the collar when OFF. i can just SHOW him the collar and he stops.

[clc053103]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I think I am going to make a point to talk to her this week- not march over her house in an intimidating fashion, but catch her outside and just mention it. I will also cite my concern that DS's room will be moving closer. I can't imagine i am the only neighbor that has concerns- I am across the street, two houses down- how are her direct neighbors dealing with it??

I think what really is bothering me besides the noise pollution is that the dog is only seeking some attention. To answer the question posed, YES, she is home the entire time and apparently, can't stand to hear the dog whine in his cage and puts him outside so she doesn't have to listen to it. I guess that's how she can stand listening to him barking and yelping outside- because at least it's not as loud as when the dog is inside!

Thanks again!

[npace19147]

That poor dog. I feel so badly for him. I hate hearing about people like this.

Don't know their financial situation, but are there any doggie day cares in the neighborhood? Or a dog walker to get the dog some exercise and interaction?

[shawnandangel]

I think what really is bothering me besides the noise pollution is that the dog is only seeking some attention. To answer the question posed, YES, she is home the entire time and apparently, can't stand to hear the dog whine in his cage and puts him outside so she doesn't have to listen to it. I guess that's how she can stand listening to him barking and yelping outside- because at least it's not as loud as when the dog is inside!

If she treats her dog like this, how does she treat her children when they cry or want attention? It makes me cringe.

[MamaKath]

You should be able to call animal control anonymously. They will visit or leave a note as a warning and if enough complaints are logged they can fine the owners in most places.

What she said (imagine an arrow pointing up). I would not leave a note. I would be kind of annoyed if someone did this, plus you are not legally allowed to put non mail items in a mailbox.

We have an annoying dog owning neighbor. My kids have named their dog "Barkey" and they yell at it when we are out. It is obnoxious. Plus they have trained it to go to the bathroom on ANYONE ELSE'S lawn!!! But those neighbors are also nuts and dealing with the annoying dog has been better than dealing with their teenage son (currently in jail) and his threats against us. I guess they have left me with the feeling that using the anonymous, law enforcement means available are the best way to go with most situations.

Good luck!

[irie i]

I knew of someone who got dog notes in the mailbox. Made them more willing to leave them outside.


*nods* I had to leave something like the following in a neighbor's mailbox:

http://www.veterinarypartner.com/Content.plx?P=A&A=1633&S=1&SourceID=47

I left it along with a highlighted map of the doggy bag dispensers and poopy trash cans on the property of the apartment building I lived in at the time.

It worked. :cheerleader1: I don't think its something you need to call animal control about just yet...perhaps the family just needs to work out a dog responsibility schedule.

[WatchingThemGrow]

http://www.veterinarypartner.com/Content.plx?P=A&A=1633&S=1&SourceID=47

I left it along with a highlighted map of the doggy bag dispensers and poopy trash cans on the property of the apartment building I lived in at the time.


That's awesome! I may send it out to our neighborhood Google Group. We live on a corner, and in the past we've had issues with poo. Everyone walks their dog around our corner to the bike path and soccer fields nearby. No bag dispensers here, though. I've looked into them in the past. A neighbor on another corner with a little bit more guts than me sent out a scathing email to the 'hood about her kids playing in their yard and having their clothes covered in dog poo. oooh.

I like the proactive "info" page. Thanks for sharing it.

Anybody got one about barking?

[irie i]

That's awesome! I may send it out to our neighborhood Google Group. We live on a corner, and in the past we've had issues with poo. Everyone walks their dog around our corner to the bike path and soccer fields nearby. No bag dispensers here, though. I've looked into them in the past. A neighbor on another corner with a little bit more guts than me sent out a scathing email to the 'hood about her kids playing in their yard and having their clothes covered in dog poo. oooh.

I like the proactive "info" page. Thanks for sharing it.

Anybody got one about barking?

Lots of info here: http://www.barkingdogs.net/

[elektra]

If it were my dog (I have 2 dogs) I would hope the neighbor would just approach me in person to let me know.
This kind of happened to me actually. I moved to a new house earlier this year, and I think the dogs were still getting used to their new home. We have a doggie door so they can lounge inside and then go outside to relieve themselves.
I also work from home so on weekdays I am home all day and all night with them. But on weekends we like to do errands go out, etc. and they would be home alone. (They always sleep inside at night though.)
One day I had stopped by one of the neighbor's houses and I happened to ask her if the dogs were barking when we were gone. She said that yes it was pretty bad on the weekends. Yikes!
Wanting to be a good neighbor, I took her comments very seriously. I actually asked some other neighbors if they had also been disturbed and they actually said no. They said that the first neighbor had complained to them but they never had a problem. I get why she didn't want to confront me (not really knowing how I'd react) but I actually wish that first neighbor would have come straight to me vs. talking to a bunch of other neighbors about it first.
So what we did first was to keep the dogs in the office where the doggie door is for small amounts of time during the day, even when we were home. They were so used to just cuddling up with us and being nearby at all times that they needed to learn how to relax on their own too.
We also bought this sound emitter thing that looks like a birdhouse that we put outside. When there are loud noises/barking it makes a sound that only dogs can hear that really bothers them and stops them from barking. I was kind of hesitant to mention that though, because with my dogs, they can run back into the house. But your poor neighbor's dog is chained up outside and from how you describe it, it sounds so forlorn already that I'm sure it wouldn't be the best thing for the dog to have to deal with that noise emitter too.
Maybe as a last resort you could get one of those and only turn it on while your DS is napping or something.

[MmeSunny]

Also, depending on what state you live in, it is illegal to leave a dog chained for XX number of hours a day outside. So, she may even be breaking the law. In which case, you could report her to animal control and they would come out and "have a talk" with her about the laws. You could also videotape the dog barking at various times and show to animal control. (Can you tell I'm very pro-animal control?) Their job isn't just to pick up animals and kill them, but also to educate the public about proper care and animal laws.

I had to call them a number of times when the pardon my French but "ghetto trash" across the street from me let their Pitbull roam the neighborhood. It came in to my yard at my daughter in her kiddie pool and growled. And again, when it wouldn't leave our yard or let us out of our house.:32:

[ThreeofUs]

Thank you all for taking the time to respond. I think I am going to make a point to talk to her this week- not march over her house in an intimidating fashion, but catch her outside and just mention it. I will also cite my concern that DS's room will be moving closer. I can't imagine i am the only neighbor that has concerns- I am across the street, two houses down- how are her direct neighbors dealing with it??

I think what really is bothering me besides the noise pollution is that the dog is only seeking some attention. To answer the question posed, YES, she is home the entire time and apparently, can't stand to hear the dog whine in his cage and puts him outside so she doesn't have to listen to it. I guess that's how she can stand listening to him barking and yelping outside- because at least it's not as loud as when the dog is inside!

Thanks again!


This sounds like the right way to go.

Having a new dog can be really overwhelming to someone who doesn't understand dogs and dog behavior modification. If she really doesn't like/want the dog, I'd hesitate to make the situation sound too bad or hopeless - she might take it out on the dog without meaning to.

Maybe a suggestion of dog trainers (the local Animal Protective Leagues and pounds usually have low-cost dog trainers available) would help. They could show her how to crate-train the puppy.

But the poor dog's behaviors are just going to get worse if she doesn't get help....