Pianos, piano lessons, costs, commitments

[KBecks]

I am thinking about piano lessons for all the boys. I am starting to think about the kind of commitment this means, time and money etc. Alek is 4 and his school offers piano lessons at school at age 5. I was a piano flunkie, I requested lessons in about the 2nd grade, and my parents let me have lessons and a piano but I never really took to it. (I blame my parents a little bit, I was allowed to practice at a specific time only, and couldn't play when my parents wanted to watch TV).

I am wondering whether I should bother with lessons for the boys. I think it's potentially very good, at the same time, I don't want to set myself up for an unused piano or difficult power struggles. I think my approach would be to let them play anytime they want and to have fun and enjoy it. No hassling to practice.

I sing and have been involved with choral music since junior high. I would be inclined to do Suzuki method lessons for the kids if I could find them close enough, which is unlikely, there would be a commute. School lessons would be the most convenient.

I wonder about it. It's not a small commitment. I wonder about the logistics of having 3 children who play and giving them all piano time. My husband didn't have lessons although he played an instrument in elementary school for a while. I don't think he was in HS band.

What do you think about piano lessons for younger children and what do you think about the commitments involved? What were your experiences and what are you doing for your kids, if anything?

I have fantasies of a piano in the living room and kids that actually play, although I think it's a long road. We could do maybe smaller, less expensive instruments. I need to have a realistic view of this before I get all dreamy and go buy a piano with rose colored classes on.

Thanks!

[niccig]

DH bought a 2nd hand piano from someone who was moving, it was $300. He's had it for years. We've replaced the plastic elbows and a few broken keys, and have it tuned occasionally. It's not a flashy piano at all, it's decent and it's fine for DH to play and for DS to have lessons on it one day. So, that's an option to get a cheaper piano.

DH plays several instruments, was in high school band, and uses his musical skills daily at his job - making movie trailers, he has to choose music, edit it in, work with a composer if they need music written. He has such a love for music. I have nothing. A few lessons at school, but it was not encouraged by my family - they call my clarinet the "goose-killer" as that's what it sounded like. Gees parents, thanks for the positive encouragement.

It's a priority for me for DS to have a love of music. We will give DS piano lessons and other instrument lessons when he's old enough. I do know that DS may not continue to learn, but he'll still gain something from it. I would start out small, a 2nd hand piano or maybe rent (if it's cheap enough), and see how it goes. DS plays our piano now - hits the keys in play.. He'll often go into the living room and start playing on it. And if DH is home, they'll sit together and make music

[mamicka]

Well, I'm in the "musical education is important" camp. Since buying a good piano isn't in the budget & probably won't be anytime soon, I was worried that it wouldn't happen. I would *love* to have a beautiful piano in my living room. Heck, I'd love to have an ugly piano that kept a tune in my living room. Alas, we have no piano, but I was able to get an old keyboard that was sitting unused at my parents house. It has an ugly black plastic stand that is quite useful & sits in the office. Within about a 1/2 hour, I was able to give DS1 a lesson & he figured-out about 6 really basic songs that night. He loves practicing, as long as I'm not strict about doing it seriously - he likes to just goof-off with it as well. Its OK with me for the most part, but he must ask before he plays. In the future, I see having a scheduled practice time if he wants to get serious about playing. For right now, its fun but still quite educational.

If you want to try piano lessons, I'd try to get something like a keyboard as inexpensively as you can, you can always upgrade years later if the lessons "stick". I suffered 12 years of piano lessons & hated most of them. I used to think the lessons were a waste, but now I'm really grateful that my parents made me do it. I'm not naturally talented *at all* but I can read music & sight-read pretty well. With enough practice, I can play some easy songs during family sing-alongs. I definitely know enough to start my kids off without paying for lessons. You can get lots of free really basic sheet music online.

[KBecks]

I am thinking of doing a 2nd hand piano..... or, a rental to start with. There's no way I would do a new $$$ piano right now, especially if I can find something that will work nicely that's a better value. I am thinking of starting with maybe a keyboard rental, since it is smaller and lighter and keyboard technology seems SO GOOD now compared to years ago.

Hauling a used piano into our home is a part of the commitment I'm concerned about as well, so I want to choose something temporary or really take my time to find something we will hang onto and that works well.

I am thinking guitars would be good piano substitutes, although my fantasy includes pianos AND guitars :)

Music is really the only thing I would "force" on my kids.... well, tempt them with.

[niccig]

I like the slow approach. Expose your kids to music and cheaper instruments now, and you can see if they will continue with them. A friend is a composer, and he told us to surround DS with music and with instruments and just let him play. We can get serious later on.

ETA by instruments he meant kid's instruments.

[vonfirmath]

If you are paying for piano lessons, your kids really do need to practice, not just "what they feel like" It's very frsutrating as a music teacher (Says my sister-in-law) when the kids come to practice after practice and get nowhere because there is no parental support at home to practice.

Without practice, the kid is going nowhere.

[giavila]

DD1 takes piano. She started when she was 4. She takes private lessons once a week, but I also sit down with her to practice her assignment about 4 times a week for 5-10 minutes/day. The rest of the time she is allowed to play freely and just have fun with the piano whenever she feels like it. It has been 6 months and she loves to practice so it is going well. We didn't have the space for an upright piano so we bought a nice full sized digital piano that takes up very little space in her room.

We started with lessons at our park and rec dept at first. I think it was $10 per lesson, but now we found a teacher we love and we do private lessons in her home for $13 per lesson. For preschool age children she does 15-20 minute lessons, which seems to be enough for DD.

glenda

[ahrimie]

DD1 takes piano. She started when she was 4. She takes private lessons once a week, but I also sit down with her to practice her assignment about 4 times a week for 5-10 minutes/day. The rest of the time she is allowed to play freely and just have fun with the piano whenever she feels like it. It has been 6 months and she loves to practice so it is going well. We didn't have the space for an upright piano so we bought a nice full sized digital piano that takes up very little space in her room.

We started with lessons at our park and rec dept at first. I think it was $10 per lesson, but now we found a teacher we love and we do private lessons in her home for $13 per lesson. For preschool age children she does 15-20 minute lessons, which seems to be enough for DD.

glenda

i play the piano and violin, and have taught violin lessons to little kids (and older) before. i would set "practice" times, but for only 5-10 min at first.. and if you can, try and make it fun. but if they want to play more and have fun, let them!

maybe you can rent a piano first or at least get a keyboard... then, if they're more serious, or if you'd like to take lessons, buy a 2nd hand one or new one if you can.

[irie i]

I agree about the keyboard...its an inexpensive way to find out whether they will take interest in the piano before making the expense. :)

[jenmcadams]

I considered doing the suzuki approach, but we decided instead to wait until 1st grade when the highly recommended teacher a lot of our friends use was willing to take her on as a student. The teacher we have has a more traditional approach and likes the kids to be in at least 1st grade before they start lessons.

Her teacher requires that all kids have a full sized piano or keyboard at home for practice before she'll take you on. If you go for the keyboard, it needs to be a full 88 keys with weighted keys and pedals. We're renting a clavinova for now from a local music store and will consider purchasing one if she sticks with it. Her teacher is amazing, but somewhat expensive -- $20 for a private 1/2 hour lesson at her home -- we have lessons once a week. Her studio is gorgeous and attached to her home. She has two baby grands in the studio and occasionally does group lessons ($20 for an hour) with kids of the same basic ability which my DD loves.

My DD is desperate to learn to play guitar, but none of the recommended teachers around here would take her on until 2nd or 3rd grade and all recommended piano for a year or two first. So far, she seems to love it. We try to practice 10 minutes each time at least 4-5 times per week. Her teacher gives her a practice assignment at each lesson and we fill in a practice log that she takes to her lesson each week.

HTH

[maestramommy]

If you're serious about the lessons, I would get either a real piano or a digital piano that has the full sized keys. When I was teaching private lessons, the kids who had a keyboard had home had the weakest fingers, and it was really hard to do anything about it because of the instrument they had at home. I actually own a digital piano, and I dont' know when I'll be trading up to a grand:D We got it when we were still living in the apt, and really it's so convenient. It never needs to be tune or maintenanced, and the player can use headphones so as not to disturb anyone. I got the one with the fewest number of sounds. The keys are weighted, and you can actually adjust the tension of the play. I usually put it on the heaviest setting, but for a kid you could put it on the lightest setting and it would still be very close to a piano.

One note about Suzuki, it does take a lot of commitment on the part of the parent, esp. if your kids are young. Suzuki takes a lot of repetition, and the parent has to be there for all the lessons so they know how the kid is supposed to practice at home. Of course this is helpful no matter what method you end up going with, but Suzuki is very particular this way.

What you might want to do, if you can only afford a keyboard right now, is to enroll your kids in a Yamaha music class. It is keyboard based, and actually the kids learn a lot of skills besides just playing right off the page.

[kusumat]

If you're serious about the lessons, I would get either a real piano or a digital piano that has the full sized keys. When I was teaching private lessons, the kids who had a keyboard had home had the weakest fingers, and it was really hard to do anything about it because of the instrument they had at home. I actually own a digital piano, and I dont' know when I'll be trading up to a grand:D We got it when we were still living in the apt, and really it's so convenient. It never needs to be tune or maintenanced, and the player can use headphones so as not to disturb anyone. I got the one with the fewest number of sounds. The keys are weighted, and you can actually adjust the tension of the play. I usually put it on the heaviest setting, but for a kid you could put it on the lightest setting and it would still be very close to a piano.

One note about Suzuki, it does take a lot of commitment on the part of the parent, esp. if your kids are young. Suzuki takes a lot of repetition, and the parent has to be there for all the lessons so they know how the kid is supposed to practice at home. Of course this is helpful no matter what method you end up going with, but Suzuki is very particular this way.

What you might want to do, if you can only afford a keyboard right now, is to enroll your kids in a Yamaha music class. It is keyboard based, and actually the kids learn a lot of skills besides just playing right off the page.

How old can the kid start the lesson? My DC is 2.5 yrs old. Is she too young? Which brand would you recommend for the digital piano? We will be moving again in 2 yrs. So, I wonder whether it is wise to get one now.

[KBecks]

I'm curious to know what a digital piano rental costs, that seems like the easiest start if it's a reasonable cost to rent vs purchase.

[niccig]

What you might want to do, if you can only afford a keyboard right now, is to enroll your kids in a Yamaha music class. It is keyboard based, and actually the kids learn a lot of skills besides just playing right off the page.

Anymore information about Yamaha? The composer at DH's work told us to look into it for DS when he's a little older. It's how he learned as a young child and he loved it.

[Melbel]

DS started lessons about 1.5 years ago, at age 7. The private lessons are at our school at a cost of $25 per 1/2 hour lesson. The first year, he did exceptionally well, passing older children who had played for a longer duration. This past school year, DS seems to be floundering and perhaps regressing a bit. He has a different teacher this year who is much nicer, but may not be challenging DS enough, or perhaps he is losing interest as it gets more difficult. Of course, with the new baby, I am not able to supervise lessons and practice as well. DS practices for about 15 minutes 4x per week. We do not have a set time or schedule to practice. He is able to goof off on the keyboard whenever he wants. We did not want to spend $$$ on a piano, so we bought a nicer keyboard (full sized weighted keys). Our piano instructor was impressed with the quality and thought that it was fine. The keyboard has many built in songs/features that he has fun with. We have inherited a piano, but it is currently 5 hours away. I am certain that it has not tuned in decades. I still need to determine whether or not it is worth the effort (sentimental or otherwise) to transport it.

[maestramommy]

How old can the kid start the lesson? My DC is 2.5 yrs old. Is she too young? Which brand would you recommend for the digital piano? We will be moving again in 2 yrs. So, I wonder whether it is wise to get one now.

With Suzuki kids can start as young as 3, depending on the kid. But as I said it requires a lot of commitment on the part of the parent, esp. if you start out with a young one. They learn by rote y'know, so the parent needs to be there to observe the lesson so they can help the kid practice effectively. It's almost like the parent is getting the lesson at the same time. I think it's a great method, and when I was a kid my teacher was a suzuki instructor so I saw amazing things played by kids on both piano and violin.

We got the Technics digital piano. My BIL has the Technics and he told me the sound is sampled from Steinway grands, which is why I decided to go with them:D I just prefer the sound of Steinway to Yamaha over the long haul. We got it from a piano warehouse in L.A, so it might've been a little cheaper. It was around $2k, maybe less. We tried Yamaha, Roland, and Technics (they are hard to find!) before making a final decision.

It's theoretically easy to move, because it's so much lighter than a real piano. BUT, our piano didn't come through unscathed. A couple keys were broken, and we're processing a claim to get them fixed. It appears to be an easy fix though. If the same thing happend to a real piano I'm pretty sure it would be a lot more expensive.

[maestramommy]

Anymore information about Yamaha? The composer at DH's work told us to look into it for DS when he's a little older. It's how he learned as a young child and he loved it.

There are many Yamaha music schools in CA. In fact, I think they have a headquarters in Orange County. You could probably find them in your phone book. The program came from Japan, and instructors are trained and certified in the curriculum and method. It involves some singing, rhythm, keyboarding, improvisation. They do learn to play the piano and read music, but they learn so much more. It's a broader range of education than conventional private lessons. In the classes they use piano, but also use electone. It looks like an electric organ. I used to teach at a Yamaha school (private piano only, I wasn't a certified class instructor) and when I watched the classes there were several electones for the kids to use.

One thing you might also do is check out the local music schools at the university. Find out if they have a piano pedagogy dept. When I was getting my degree, seniors had to take pedagogy, and as part of the course we were paired with a kid who had signed up for piano lessons. Once a week they came for 45 minutes of class, and a 30 minute private lesson. It was supervised by the director of Prep. piano. She taught our course and assigned us our lessons for each week. I don't know if the cost to the kid was any more than just private lessons, it probably was. But I think it was probably more fun because you don't just sit there for 30 minutes with one person, you're in a class with 4 other kids doing group activities first. At the end of the year the entire prep piano dept had a recital. A lot of kids continued on past that first year. I know my student did, and it was cool to see her in the hall the following year, although she was by then studying with someone else.

[kedss]

hi Karen-

I started piano at age 9, mostly because my mom wanted me to, and after a few months, I switched to art classes. I think the earlier you can start lessons the better, if they are used to having the piano/keyboard around and like the sound, it may go easier for you. :)

[AngelaS]

We were given a piano, so that was free. Tuning's about $100 a year.

I started my girls on lessons when they start kindergarten. We pay $20 an hour and they take 1/2 hour lessons.

[LBW]

Check your local craigslist for pianos. We sold one there earlier this year - a lovely instrument that my parents bought for me and my sister when we were taking lessons as children. There were many, many nice looking used pianos for $500. Some were free if you were able to pick them up quickly.

[trentsmom]

I was just at Costco, and they had digital Behringer pianos for $500. 88 weighted keys, bench, headphones, etc.

I had never thought about digital pianos as an option. I want DS to take piano lessons, mainly so that he will be able to read music. DH regrets that he is unable to read music. My parents had said they would give us their upright when DS was old enough for lessons, but I wasn't sure where I would fit it in the house. From a quick look at the digital, it looks like it would be easier for me to find a spot.

[lmintzer]

Jack (now 7 1/2) started piano lessons a little over a year ago. His lessons are not cheap (it's $47 for 45 minutes--Jack does the first 35 and Joshua the last 10). The teacher is incredibly good, though. She's from Russia (so teaches Russian school method) and is Juliard trained.

He practices roughly 30 minutes about 5 times/week. She would love for us to be doing more, but the practice at this point is supervised by me, and that's about all I can swing with homework and Joshua, etc. Jack has learned amazingly fast. The thing I'm concerned about is that she isn't keeping it quite fun enough for him. We need to work on that!

Joshua started this summer and is working at a much slower pace. He practices 2-3 times/week for about 10 minutes each time. He's playing little songs with middle C, D, E, and then B and A below middle C so far. He's having a lot of fun with it.

I have to say it feels like a big responsibility for me, but I think that's the way this teacher works. She really puts a lot on the parent. DH and I both played, so she expects we can do a lot at home with him.

We started off on a keyboard for 6 months and then purchased a good quality upright piano. We have an inherited piano 12-13 hours away, and it's in bad shape. I would have liked it for sentimental reasons, but the one we purchased (a Charles Walter) is a much much better instrument.

[maestramommy]

I have to say it feels like a big responsibility for me, but I think that's the way this teacher works. She really puts a lot on the parent. DH and I both played, so she expects we can do a lot at home with him.


I wanted to quote this because I think it's important for parents to understand. It's fine if you want your kid to have fun learning music, and it should be fun, esp. in the beginning. At some point though, it's going to be more work than fun, and/or it doesn't get fun unless you work, iykwim. Many kids drop out at this point. The thing with music is that unless parents are really committed the kid doesn't get very far. Of course it all depends on how far you want your kid to go. Obviously I got pretty far, since I majored in it. So I was surrounded by kids who also were getting pretty far when I was a kid. Parents were there all the time. At lessons, recitals, practicing with them at home. Think soccer mom and take it up another notch (or two!).

If you just want your kid to learn an instrument and have fun with it, get to a certain level where they can play to entertain themselves, there is nothing wrong with that. Just be aware of your own expectations when searching for a teacher.

[jenmcadams]

I'm curious to know what a digital piano rental costs, that seems like the easiest start if it's a reasonable cost to rent vs purchase.

Karen -

We pay $45 a month to rent our digital piano (a Yamaha Clavinova). We can appl 6 months worth of rental to the purchase if we decide to buy the instrument. We also paid $150 for round trip delivery (it included resturning it if we don't purchase it). I think the lower end up right pianos were actually cheaper (maybe $29 a month), but this takes up less space and can used with headphones.

There are a few less expensive models at Costco right now (500-800) that have full sized weighted keys and pedals.

[newbiemom]

I wanted to quote this because I think it's important for parents to understand. It's fine if you want your kid to have fun learning music, and it should be fun, esp. in the beginning. At some point though, it's going to be more work than fun, and/or it doesn't get fun unless you work, iykwim. Many kids drop out at this point. The thing with music is that unless parents are really committed the kid doesn't get very far. Of course it all depends on how far you want your kid to go. Obviously I got pretty far, since I majored in it. So I was surrounded by kids who also were getting pretty far when I was a kid. Parents were there all the time. At lessons, recitals, practicing with them at home. Think soccer mom and take it up another notch (or two!).

If you just want your kid to learn an instrument and have fun with it, get to a certain level where they can play to entertain themselves, there is nothing wrong with that. Just be aware of your own expectations when searching for a teacher.



I absolutely agree with this - In the beginning, I really enjoyed my piano lessons, practiced on my own; then got to a point where I think my mom was on my case EVERY DAY to practice, then got to a point where she gave up and I stopped - for only a few months because I realized how much I enjoyed it and went back and was more willing to be more disciplined about practicing (although we had the occasional fights)
I have to say I am VERY glad that I was pushed during those times when I was lazy and didn't want to practice.

[hellokitty]

I wanted to quote this because I think it's important for parents to understand. It's fine if you want your kid to have fun learning music, and it should be fun, esp. in the beginning. At some point though, it's going to be more work than fun, and/or it doesn't get fun unless you work, iykwim. Many kids drop out at this point. The thing with music is that unless parents are really committed the kid doesn't get very far. Of course it all depends on how far you want your kid to go. Obviously I got pretty far, since I majored in it. So I was surrounded by kids who also were getting pretty far when I was a kid. Parents were there all the time. At lessons, recitals, practicing with them at home. Think soccer mom and take it up another notch (or two!).

If you just want your kid to learn an instrument and have fun with it, get to a certain level where they can play to entertain themselves, there is nothing wrong with that. Just be aware of your own expectations when searching for a teacher.


This is soooo true! I played both violin and piano as a kid. Started piano at five, violin in 3rd grade. Piano was not fun, I did not even enjoy it until I was in high school, it was all my parents' idea to begin with. I had a teacher who was extremely strict and who used to make me cry all of the time and she would not let me play anything except for hardcore classical music. My mom was on my case constantly about practicing, I was forced by my parents to enter competitions and they even wanted me to go to piano camp, I was all an accompanist as well.

For violin, I really loved it, but I wasn't as well accomplished at violin as I was at piano, and on top of orchestras that I was in, I also took private lessons. I basically gave up both piano and violin when I went off to college, and I have practiced hardly at all since then, so I have lost so many skills, it's rather pitiful. I spent a good portion of my childhood on learning music (I was also in choir from jr high through high school). I look back now and I am not sure why I spent so much time and effort in my musical efforts, when I knew I was not going to major in music anyway. My parents were the type that kept pushing me and I let them. They always told me how lucky I was to get music lessons, b/c they did not get to have music lessons. They basically tried to live their desires through my brothers and I (one of my other brothers was a total musical failure, my parents gave up on him early on, my other one was into violin, but just took private lessons and was not really involved in orchestras that much). The sad part is that after all of that work, my parents were very upset that I wasn't some sort of musical genius and they would complain that they wasted all of that $ on my lessons when they had nothing to show for it. Basically, nothing that I ever do is ever good enough for my parents, even now as an adult, they still hold it against me that I did not become some sort of musical prodigy.

Due to that experience, I am very careful about my expectations of my children. I would like them to try to focus on at least one instrument, however I am not going to push and guilt them into doing it, if it's something that they truly are not into at all. I don't want to be that parent that is constantly hounding their kids to practice and hovering over them during lessons, etc.. I think that some kids are just naturals in music, they enjoy it, they are good at it, yes, there is a chance that they can make a career out of it. However, not everyone is cut out for it and when I think back to how much time I spent practicing and the fact that I did not enjoy it 95% of the time. I don't know if it was worth it. FWIW, my DH took about a yr of piano lessons when he was in 1st grade, his mom stopped his lessons, b/c he didn't really take them seriously. HOWEVER, he learned enough to play on his own and he enjoys fiddling around on the piano. I am somewhat jealous of his laid back, playful attitude regarding music. I guess I was brought up with it being very serious and it was not about fun, it was just basically a lot of hard work. I enjoy listening to music, but even to this day, I do not really enjoy playing it that much.

[daniele_ut]

I want to completely agree with what Melinda has said about parental involvement. My dh is a professional musician who plays the cello and conducts a youth orchestra at a private school. He also teaches cello lessons privately and his youngest student is 4. He teaches the Suzuki method and requires that the parents of his younger students attend ALL the lessons and practice with their children each day for the length of time of their lesson. If his students take a 30 minutes lesson, they must practice for 30 minutes each day.

If you really want all 3 of your boys to play piano, and I really think music is so important for kids to learn, then you need to commit to at least 90 minutes a day of practice with your child, plus the time for lessons.

We have a hand-me-down spinet piano that's been just fine for our needs thus far, though dh keeps telling me he's going to buy a grand piano. I just keep rolling my eyes and reminding him that he only plays the cello.

[maestramommy]

This is soooo true! I played both violin and piano as a kid. Started piano at five, violin in 3rd grade. Piano was not fun, I did not even enjoy it until I was in high school, it was all my parents' idea to begin with. I had a teacher who was extremely strict and who used to make me cry all of the time and she would not let me play anything except for hardcore classical music. My mom was on my case constantly about practicing, I was forced by my parents to enter competitions and they even wanted me to go to piano camp, I was all an accompanist as well.

For violin, I really loved it, but I wasn't as well accomplished at violin as I was at piano, and on top of orchestras that I was in, I also took private lessons. I basically gave up both piano and violin when I went off to college, and I have practiced hardly at all since then, so I have lost so many skills, it's rather pitiful. I spent a good portion of my childhood on learning music (I was also in choir from jr high through high school). I look back now and I am not sure why I spent so much time and effort in my musical efforts, when I knew I was not going to major in music anyway. My parents were the type that kept pushing me and I let them. They always told me how lucky I was to get music lessons, b/c they did not get to have music lessons. They basically tried to live their desires through my brothers and I (one of my other brothers was a total musical failure, my parents gave up on him early on, my other one was into violin, but just took private lessons and was not really involved in orchestras that much). The sad part is that after all of that work, my parents were very upset that I wasn't some sort of musical genius and they would complain that they wasted all of that $ on my lessons when they had nothing to show for it. Basically, nothing that I ever do is ever good enough for my parents, even now as an adult, they still hold it against me that I did not become some sort of musical prodigy.

Due to that experience, I am very careful about my expectations of my children. I would like them to try to focus on at least one instrument, however I am not going to push and guilt them into doing it, if it's something that they truly are not into at all. I don't want to be that parent that is constantly hounding their kids to practice and hovering over them during lessons, etc.. I think that some kids are just naturals in music, they enjoy it, they are good at it, yes, there is a chance that they can make a career out of it. However, not everyone is cut out for it and when I think back to how much time I spent practicing and the fact that I did not enjoy it 95% of the time. I don't know if it was worth it. FWIW, my DH took about a yr of piano lessons when he was in 1st grade, his mom stopped his lessons, b/c he didn't really take them seriously. HOWEVER, he learned enough to play on his own and he enjoys fiddling around on the piano. I am somewhat jealous of his laid back, playful attitude regarding music. I guess I was brought up with it being very serious and it was not about fun, it was just basically a lot of hard work. I enjoy listening to music, but even to this day, I do not really enjoy playing it that much.

Wow, this is almost exactly my experience! Maybe it's the Asian thing, LOL! Even though I majored in music, and I dont' regret my path at all, at the time it was kind of a done deal because I wasn't really good at anything else. I spent so much time on music that at times even school took a backseat. Now that we've moved my mom is asking when we are going to get a grand, telling me I really need to take time to practice because I dont' want to lose my technique (like I haven't lost so much already). She couldn't understand when I told her getting a grand is the LAST thing on my mind right now. I do enjoy playing now, but it's always goal oriented, like I'm going to play church services one Sunday or something. I never sit down and play for the heck of it. Maybe one day I will, but there's still so much baggage for me it's hard to thinking of playing for pure joy. That's why I'm very reluctant to start my kids in music. I would be thrilled if they just did the band or orchestra program in school and stuck with that. I played cello in HS and I loved it so much more than piano, I wish I could've majored in that instead, but I couldn't afford private lessons, so obviously didn't get advanced enough to major.

[fivi2]

I am finding this thread very interesting and would love to hear what you all think is the *right* way to introduce your child to music? How do you determine whether to push through the hard times or just let them mess around and give up?

I have no musical ability of any sort. It wasn't something my parents were interested in, so I had no lessons of any kind, can't sing, can't read music etc. DH is pretty much the same. So I worry we wil neglect that side of our children (out of complete ignorance). But it also seems pretty expensive to just "try it out". (as compared to a season of soccer, for example).
Just wondering what others do, when the parents aren't musical AT ALL?

[maestramommy]

I am finding this thread very interesting and would love to hear what you all think is the *right* way to introduce your child to music? How do you determine whether to push through the hard times or just let them mess around and give up?

I have no musical ability of any sort. It wasn't something my parents were interested in, so I had no lessons of any kind, can't sing, can't read music etc. DH is pretty much the same. So I worry we wil neglect that side of our children (out of complete ignorance). But it also seems pretty expensive to just "try it out". (as compared to a season of soccer, for example).
Just wondering what others do, when the parents aren't musical AT ALL?

If your kids are really young (3 and under) try a class like Music Together, Kindermuzik, just to see if it sparks their interest. See if your city parks and rec offers music classes for kids, or piano class/ for young kids. That's a lot lower level of commitment.

[niccig]

If your kids are really young (3 and under) try a class like Music Together, Kindermuzik, just to see if it sparks their interest. See if your city parks and rec offers music classes for kids, or piano class/ for young kids. That's a lot lower level of commitment.

We did a Music Together class with DS for 2 years. He didn't like the singing or the dancing but LOVED the instruments, wanted to take his guitar and play as the teacher played hers etc. Once he's a little older, we're going to look for something that is different instruments etc. as that is what he seems to like best. We'll look into Yamaha, as someone we know loved it. Another little girl we know went to music camp for a week, so maybe that when DS is a little older. And then we'll just see.

[MacMacMoo]

my parents had me playing the piano since I was in Pre-K (I stoped taking lessons in high school, but retain enough of it to still play a few songs from memory). We started with a keyboard. moved on to a used upright, and I think I was late elementary when they decided to get a grand piano. Then again my sister competed at the state level so someone atleast had interest (because I didn't lol). If I remeber corrected lessons were 1 hour private lesson was $20-25 a lesson.

Both Dh and I want our kids to play the piano at a minium growing up. If they opt to play other instruments we will try our best to encourage it (read pay for it lol)

[hellokitty]

Melinda,

I think it is a common thing among Asian Americans with 1st gen parents. My jaw totally dropped when my DH (Korean American) told me he only had one yr of piano lessons. I told him it was so un-Asian of him not to have yrs upon yrs of music lessons, then again he played football in high school, once again very un-Asian of him, lol. However, you know how he wooed me before we started dating? He actually played something on his electronic keyboard and it really impressed me he could play that well after only having had lessons for less than a yr, lol. Maybe I am just easy to impress, I don't know, but I think about it now and it's actually kind of funny that after so much time, effort and $ in music lessons, I end up letting someone sweep me off my feet for playing a tune on an electric keyboard, lol.

I actually think that it's great that you majored in music. There was another Asian American guy at my school, he was a natural at violin. He was first chair, I was 2nd chair (I think I, "beat" him once and was first chair, but then he challenged me back). He wanted to major in violin so badly, but his parents would not hear of it. He ended up going to med school instead. I actually have lots of Asian American friends with the same story, they were like musical prodigies whose parents ended up pressuring them to go to med school or into some other kind of intimidating sounding science related field when it came time for college. I always wondered why Asian parents felt this need to push their kids so hard in the musical arts, only to urge them NOT to major in music in college. So, it's refreshing to hear that you did pursue a degree in music.

BTW, that is so cool that you played cello! I love cello and regret having chosen violin over the cello. I'd still love to learn how to play some day. Are you planning on teaching your girls piano lessons? I feel totally inept at the idea of teaching piano, after all of those yrs of lesson, you would think I would be able to teach a 4 yr old some basics. Lol, about your mom and her obsession with the grand piano. It sounds like a very Asian mom thing to nag you about. My mom always nags me to, "study." I respond with, "study WHAT???" She says, "I don't know, why don't you study stocks or something???" Like I have so much time to just, "study" for the hell of it. I still have not fetched my piano yet from my parent's house. They live about an hr away from me, and told me that I can have the piano, now I just need to hire someone to move it to my place. My brothers left HUGE scratches all over the top of the piano with their matchbox cars, so I guess I won't have to freak over my kids doing awful things to my piano.

I agree that there is still a lot of baggage for me too. I am too afraid to let others know that I play, in fear that they will actually WANT me to play for them. For example, at our church, they are actually looking for someone who can play piano. I am too chicken to out myself, in fear that they will want me to play and then I would feel guilty about telling them that I'd prefer not to, b/c I hate playing in front of other ppl. I am so technically oriented. If I go to a concert, I can always tell when someone messed up and I always have to nudge my DH to let him know, lol. I actually kind of hate that I am like that, and not able to just kick back and enjoy the program.

I too would be happy if my kids just stuck to school band or orchestra, even if they didn't take private lessons. My mom has already reminded me that we have ALL of the different sized violins ready to go (my brother started suzuki method violin at age 4), whenever my kids are ready to start. :rolleyes: There is no way my kids are ready, they are much less serious children than I was as a child, and I'm trying not to act like a stereotypical Asian parent by over-scheduling my kids to the max starting at a young age. We're doing kindermusik right now with my youngest son and he likes it and I did musikgarten with my older son when he was a toddler.

Anyway, sorry for rambling on. I've never talked to anyone else about this before, so it's kind of nice to find someone else who understands. Most ppl don't, "get" what it was like to grow up this way.

[maestramommy]

hellokitty, I'm chuckling and nodding my head through your whole post, because either it happened to me or friends of mine. I think was the first kid in my Taiwanese community to major in music and other parents thought my parents were crazy. The funny thing with my mom is, she wanted me to major in it, then when I did she wanted me to get a masters. Then when I started to mull over getting a doctorate, she didnt' want me to because she was afraid having too high a degree would make it hard to find a husband:shake: Before my sisters and I had kids, she kept saying being a SAHM was better. Then after Dora was born she said, "too bad you live so far away. I could watch Dora and you could go back to work." huh?? When I asked her about the earlier claim she said, "well you know, it's not a good idea to stay away too long. " WTH?? Marrying Dh was the best thing I ever did for my own autonomy. I'm sure you understand;)

One of my exes is a very talented violinist, but because his parents encouraged him to be "practical" he became an electrical engineer. It's too bad, because he was doing just so-so in his career, and getting all these gigs from people who needed a good musician.

I don't know if I will teach my kids piano, but I'm inclined to think no. I will get them started if they show interest, then I'll find a teacher. I'm so NOT the homeschooler by temperment, and piano is no different.

[KBecks]

This is a great thread, thanks to everyone for replying and sharing your knowledge and experiences. I want to think carefully about how our family will approach music.

I do think we'll have a piano, I want a piano, as much for me as for the kids and I would like to putter around and play. I didn't do that well with piano, had lessons in elementary school and later in high school, and I never really learned to sight read or sight sing. I have sung chorally for years and years and it's been one of the best experiences of my life. I want to give my kids the opportunity to be musical, and I think we have to have a piano available for the opportunity to be there.

Lessons are a huge cost commitment. If I'm estimating $25/lesson for 50 weeks of the year, $1250 per child per year of lessons. It makes the cost of getting a piano the inexpensive part of the equation. I'm thinking that we may not do lessons right away but that I could learn a little and teach a little and then if they become more interested with age we'll do lessons and kick it into gear, based on their enthusiasm levels.

I think owning a piano also contributes to my vision and goal of less TV usage. The digital piano sounds like a good solution for us, it seems very appealing with the option to use headphones, lighter weight, etc etc. My mom had a horrendous 1960? electric piano that was just horrible. I'm excited to see today's digital pianos that look wonderful. I've told my DH that I want one and am thinking of a price range that will be reasonable, acceptable and give good value. And if it doesn't work out we can sell it without huge regrets. I don't think that will happen though.

I fell in love with these Yamaha digital piano videos on YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znWwl6cikho

Part of why I want to expose the boys to music is because I just love guys who have musical ability. Big crushes.

[MMMommy]

DD1 has expressed interest in the piano. Everytime she goes to my parents house, she loves to sit at the piano and "play" some tunes. I too was concerned about forking out a lot of money on something that may or may not hold her interest long term. But I discovered that our local recreation center offers piano lessons significantly cheaper. 6 kids per class (ages 5 to 7), and they all learn using keyboards. The class is about 45 minutes, I think.

I figured this would be a more affordable way to see if she will or will not like playing the piano. Perhaps your city recreation center might offer beginner piano lessons? That may be a more affordable way to introduce your child.

I also picked up a Casio keyboard (with bonus stand) from Costco for $97. Seemed like a good deal. If DD1 enjoys the lessons, then we'll give it to her for her birthday in January.

[kijip]

My husband plays the piano and guitar. We just let T learn informally as he has an interest in the instruments in the house. He has started to learn to read music this way. He can have lessons when he wants to have them.

Because we have a small townhouse, the digital piano is the best thing ever. The stairs are too tight in here for the smallest of uprights.

[hellokitty]

hellokitty, I'm chuckling and nodding my head through your whole post, because either it happened to me or friends of mine. I think was the first kid in my Taiwanese community to major in music and other parents thought my parents were crazy. The funny thing with my mom is, she wanted me to major in it, then when I did she wanted me to get a masters. Then when I started to mull over getting a doctorate, she didnt' want me to because she was afraid having too high a degree would make it hard to find a husband:shake: Before my sisters and I had kids, she kept saying being a SAHM was better. Then after Dora was born she said, "too bad you live so far away. I could watch Dora and you could go back to work." huh?? When I asked her about the earlier claim she said, "well you know, it's not a good idea to stay away too long. " WTH?? Marrying Dh was the best thing I ever did for my own autonomy. I'm sure you understand;)

One of my exes is a very talented violinist, but because his parents encouraged him to be "practical" he became an electrical engineer. It's too bad, because he was doing just so-so in his career, and getting all these gigs from people who needed a good musician.

I don't know if I will teach my kids piano, but I'm inclined to think no. I will get them started if they show interest, then I'll find a teacher. I'm so NOT the homeschooler by temperment, and piano is no different.

Melinda, OMG our moms both must have gotten the, "too bad you live so far away..." talk from the Taiwanese mom handbook or something. My mom says the SAME thing! The thing is, she is so unreliable, so it is crazy for her to think that I would go back to work and rely on her for childcare. Even my DH thought that was such a weird comment for my mom to make when she is infamous for canceling on us at the last minute.

Ha ha, I feel the same way about getting married. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. My brothers said that the day after my wedding my dad said, "I guess now that she is married, we can't tell her what to do." I LMAO when my brothers told me this and made a comment that I should have gotten married a LOT sooner than I did, if that was all it would take for my parents to leave me alone. Unfortunately, they STILL tell me what to do anyway, so oh well. It's been great chatting with you about this. :)

[maestramommy]

My brothers said that the day after my wedding my dad said, "I guess now that she is married, we can't tell her what to do." I LMAO when my brothers told me this and made a comment that I should have gotten married a LOT sooner than I did, if that was all it would take for my parents to leave me alone. Unfortunately, they STILL tell me what to do anyway, so oh well. It's been great chatting with you about this. :)
:ROTFLMAO:My mom was fretting a lot that I wasn't going to church every single Sunday after I got married because I was going climbing with Dh. She kept complaining to my dad (who is a minister btw), and he said, "you have to remember she's not just your daughter anymore, she's X's wife." I was totally :hysterical: and :yay:when my sis told me. Yes, my mom still does tell me what to do, but it's SO much easier to tune her out on the phone.

[jeffrey_frog]

a good piano teacher may help with you concern, even if we give all the support to our kids if you kids are not comfortable with the teacher then it is just useless. I saw a website that helps you find teachers near your area, you can check it out! :)

http://www.findpianolessons.com

[doberbrat]

I started guitar lessons at age 4. I asked for the guitar as my preschool graduation gift and got it.

I had a private instructor come to my house till I turned 6 then i was accepted in one of the music schools in NYC. I had private, group, theory and performance lessons every week.

When I was 12, I switched from the guitar to violin and then picked up the cello and viola

when dd turned 3, I decided to look for a suzuki class but the're very very expensive here and dont really work w/my wohm schedule so we're waiting. we have a little keyboard to play with, I still have my childhood guitar and violin and every once in a while, I pull them out and dd & I play on them. Hopefully she's getting love of music and can start actual lessons later.

The thing I remember as a child is that I asked for the lessons therefore I had to practice. on a semester basis, I could opt out, but once I was signed up, that was that. No whining, no complaining, just go practice. Even when I had the pox, my mohter merely called the instructor to ensure that he'd had them and on continued lessons & practice.

My mother didnt go to the lessons once I turned 6 - I brought home my assignments and knew I had to do them. The teachers could certainly tell when I didnt practice and would call my mother for a discussion.

[carolinamama]

I wanted to quote this because I think it's important for parents to understand. It's fine if you want your kid to have fun learning music, and it should be fun, esp. in the beginning. At some point though, it's going to be more work than fun, and/or it doesn't get fun unless you work, iykwim. Many kids drop out at this point. The thing with music is that unless parents are really committed the kid doesn't get very far. Of course it all depends on how far you want your kid to go. Obviously I got pretty far, since I majored in it. So I was surrounded by kids who also were getting pretty far when I was a kid. Parents were there all the time. At lessons, recitals, practicing with them at home. Think soccer mom and take it up another notch (or two!).

If you just want your kid to learn an instrument and have fun with it, get to a certain level where they can play to entertain themselves, there is nothing wrong with that. Just be aware of your own expectations when searching for a teacher.


I keep reading this thread and thinking just this. I grew up playing musical instruments - started with Suzuki violin at 2.5 and switched to Suzuki piano at 5, just as my sister was picking up Suzuki violin at age 3. We had a full-sized piano in our house. Playing an instrument was not like playing a sport where you drop your kid off for practice - it was more like a chore. But one I am glad that I did. My mom spent hours each week going to lessons and then practicing with us. To be honest, I remember fights happening around the piano betweem my mom and me, but I always chose to practice over quit. I am sure you could find a teacher who doesn't expect so much if that is what your expectations hold. I too want my kids to play music and I'm not sure at this point if I will be quite as rigid as my mom was, but maybe I will. Just something to think about before you search for a teacher and/or method that fits your family.