Confused re: Holiday gifts

[M&Mmom]

I keep reading these threads about how DC's ask for, beg, want, pick, etc certain gifts from Santa (or other holidays) and I don't get it. DD has never ever asked for a specific toy and has certainly never asked for something 2 weeks after seeing it. She will play with toys at the toy store, school, friends houses, etc but has never come and asked me to buy it or if she could get it for holiday or anything. She is sorta out of sight, out of mind. I have no clue what she "wants" for the holidays. I know she loves to do puzzles and play dress up so I thought I would gear towards those but I also think she might like a doll house or a vanity but I don't know. Am I the only one with a DC who doesn't ask for certain things? Did I do something wrong or am I lucky?

[Wife_and_mommy]

She's young yet. ;)

My DD is 4.5 and is just starting this a bit. She's told us a couple of things she'd like that will probably happen but I'm always careful not to promise anything.

It is harder with my 2.5 yo. It's funny how having an older DC around matures them so much....

[veronica]

I had to respond because my DD is also named Maya. She is about to turn 3 and rarely asks for anything but today i didn't turn off the Backyardigans in time and she went to her nap asking for a "swimming dolly" like the TV one.....oy vey-I hate commercials

[Tondi G]

Consider yourself lucky! My DS didn't start asking for specific things till he was maybe 4.... and my now 3.5 year old only asks cause his big brother prompts him to when they see a commercial on tv. If your kids don't watch a lot of TV then they aren't exposed to the "hot" toys and encouraged to ask for them!

[bubbaray]

ITA with the PP who said your child is young yet. My DD#1 (age 4.5) just recently started asking, reliably and with insistence, for a particular gift (AG doll that I have persuaded her she can have when she is older).

[ha98ed14]

My DD is also too young to ask for specific things, but I will bet that what they ask for and at what age the asking starts is directly coorelated to how much TV (commericals) and other kids (and their toys) they are exposed to. My reference: SIL's kids who are home schooled and don't have a TV. (We don't have a TV either. We watch DVDs on the computer.) I have never heard them ask for a brand-specific thing and was there for several Christmases when they got cool toys, but they were not the leading name brand version. I don't think it phased them one bit and they seemed happy to play with the version they got.

[maestramommy]

Sometimes when we're in the Target, Dora will randomly point to something and say, "want that!" but I just say no we're not getting that, and it's enough. It's usually something like goldfish. So no, you're not alone, but it's early days yet. We usually go to Target for the same old stuff every time, so I don't know what she thinks all the other stuff is for:p

[fivi2]

I don't know if I agree that it is always connected to tv etc...

My girls started telling me I needed to go buy them things at the store when they were 2.5. No older siblings and no commercials. (we do watch some tv - not much, but never any commercials, just videos and such.) When they see something they like (when we are out or at a friend's house) they say: "I need that baby. You need to go buy it at the baby store." or whatever. It doesn't cause trauma when they don't get it, and I have never gone out and bought it, but they constantly tell me I need to go buy them things. Oh - and they rarely go to the store with me. So I honestly don't know where it comes from. But they try to send me to the (whatever - baby, ball, banana, cracker) store all.the.time.

But they won't be upset when they don't get these things for gifts, because I don't think they have any real expectation that it will show up when they tell me to go buy it. (since I never have. At least not directly. I do take their interests into consideration when buying things, but I don't run out immediately and get what they are telling me to buy, if that makes sense...)

[C99]

You didn't do anything wrong and you're not lucky -- it just probably hasn't started. DS1 is almost 6 and he started to ask for things repeatedly at around this time last year. He does not beg or plead, but he does ask for things sometimes. DH will let both DS1 and DD watch Boomerang, which has commercials. I do not let them watch any TV with commercials (and TiVO almost everything anyway).

[kijip]

T does not beg or plead for a specific toy but he does ask for things he sees at a friend's house or at school. He does not see commercials, so that has not been an issue. He is never upset with a substitute but he has a long memory and certainly recalls what he wants. Like for example he saw a purple grape baby hat in June and wanted to buy it for the baby. He checks that store every single time we go to see it and he made a list of wishes just now that included that hat. It was not there when we actually said we would buy it and he looked at me miffed and said "YOU waited TOO long!!!" :p I explained they would get some more and we would just have to cross our fingers that they have it next time. :)

I like getting him what he wants, within reason (meaning he does not get everything he mentions) and don't mind if that means getting him a specific brand or character he has seen and likes.

[elliput]

My DD is just a month older than yours, and she doesn't ask for toys either. We don't watch TV (videos only) and thus are not exposed to all of the advertising. She will ask to watch a specific video or listen to specific music when in the car, but that is about it.

I don't think she quite gets the whole concept of Santa and presents yet. We don't talk it up much.

[Tinkerbell313]

DD is 4.5yrs and DS is 2.5yrs. Both watch TV, go to stores, go to preschool 5 days a week, and are exposed to all commercials everywhere. Not once has either of them asked for a toy while we are in the store (and I have never offered to buy them one). Same as watching on TV. I can see their interest in a toy as they seem to watch the commercial more intently and once in a while, DD will exclaim "wow, that's cool". But they don't ask.

DD has seen other kids in stores upset (more like throwing tantrums) because their parent will not buy them a toy. DD has asked why is that child crying. I explain that he/she wants a toy and mom/dad will not buy it for that child. And I leave it at that. DD seems satisfied with that answer.

Once in awhile we will let DD pick a doughnut out of the case at the grocery store as a special treat. Or, when we go out to eat, DD and DS can get dessert. But, we set that expectation ahead of time..."if you are good (or if you eat your meal), you can get chocolate cake for dessert". Sometimes, we don't even mention it until dessert time. Then its a really big surprise...you should see the smiles on their face.

[katerinasmom]

It wasn't until my DD turned 4 that she really started asking for things and telling me it's "available now" "in stores everywhere" clearly signaling to me that she is watching way too much tv.

[brittone2]

I think for some kids, preschool/school as well as TV can influence what they want.

DS is 4.5. Last year when I would ask him what he wanted for Christmas said that he wanted "all different sorts of kinds of mints" LOL. Apparently he remembered Santa putting mints in his stocking the year before. He obviously got lots of other big gifts, but on Christmas night when we were getting into bed, I asked him what his favorite gift had been. He said...the mints!. It was kind of heartwarming and a lesson learned. That's what he was looking forward to the post, and even though he enjoyed his other gifts, apparently he was the most thrilled about his mints!

Now that he's 4.5, he has asked for a Playmobil camper specifically (because he saw it in a catalog and was in looooove with it, which is not how he usually is with toys). I told him maybe he could ask Santa for it (we don't buy a lot of toys, especially new stuff, throughout the year). So this year his requests are the camper, and "mints with a sliding door" (because apparently that's what he got last year from Santa. Hopefully Santa will be able to find t hem again :ROTFLMAO: ).

He rarely requests stuff, but I think it is his age, not watching TV, and partly because we rarely leave a store or toy store with something for him, to be honest. I tend to buy online, etc. but not when the kids are with me.

I think we should all enjoy it while it lasts :cheerleader1: :love-retry:

Right now, like you, I have to really ask him to get ideas and even then it isn't easy. Give them a few years...those lists will probably be insanely long ;)

[kedss]

actually, my ds, almost 5, isn't a big asker, he likes going to BRU and target and Kmart and 'playing' with everything, but he rarely asks for anything. he hasn't asked for anything for his birthday(dec 9) or Christmas yet, and he usually seems to be thrilled with anything he gets, so it does happen. :)

[egoldber]

My older DD, who is NO stranger to TV and videos :ROTFLMAO: , didn't really start asking for specific things for holidays/birthdays until she closer to 6. That's when we started giving her an allowance. ;) So I think it's related more to age, personality and exposure.

I do think it may have helped that she went to a Jewish preschool where talk of Christmas or Santa or presents was actively discouraged.

[niccig]

We were fine until grandma came to stay for 5 weeks and every time we left the house, she bought him something at the store - even at the grocery store. If he sees DH with a box, he'll ask "what did you get me". So, thanks a lot Mum.

We have a wish list for DS. If he sees something he likes, we say we put it on that and maybe someone in the family will get it for him for birthday/Christmas. Yesterday at a friends, he saw the motorized jeep they just bought their girls. He now wants one of those. No way, no how. I told him we'll put it on his list, but I won't tell my Dad as he wants a Humvee toy for DS. Nope, not going to happen.

[ha98ed14]

So I honestly don't know where it comes from. But they try to send me to the (whatever - baby, ball, banana, cracker) store all.the.time.

But they won't be upset when they don't get these things for gifts, because I don't think they have any real expectation that it will show up when they tell me to go buy it. (since I never have. At least not directly. I do take their interests into consideration when buying things, but I don't run out immediately and get what they are telling me to buy, if that makes sense...)

Well, maybe it differs from kid to kid, family to family. It's funny that they keep telling you that you need to go buy this or that and you never have. You would think they would get tired of asking. But kids are nothing if not persistent! :)

[hannah]

My DD doesn't really beg or ask for anything either. I imagine that will change in the next few years. Last year for Christmas the only things she asked for from Santa was a trash can for her bedroom (practical present!) and a counting DVD. This year when asked what she wants for Christmas from Santa she said slippers and whatever else Santa wants to bring me! Easy kid! Sometimes when we are in the store she says "We should get that" but by changing the topic or moving on I can usually get her to forget about what she was asking for.

[lablover]

My DS is 5 and doesn't ask for anything either. Last Christmas he said he wanted Santa to surprise him. It's nice, but I'm kind of stumped as to what to get him for Christmas this year and wanted some suggestions from him. I told him he could make a list. He thought for a minute and couldn't think of anything and then asked me if we could work on his sister's list. We went into the toy store recently and he spent his time looking for something for DD. I think it's just his personality. DD, on the other hand, will take the toy catalog from the mail, plop herself next to DH or I and start scoping things out. She will definitely be giving opinions on what she wants.

[deborah_r]

My 5 year old is pretty much the same way. I have to coax out of him what he might want for Christmas/ birthday/etc. I mean, there are the stand-bys that he always wants, like games for the Nintendo Wii or DS. But other than that he doesn't have things on his mind that he is just waiting to get as a gift.

Now candy and ice cream...is another story altogether. He asks for that like once an hour.

[g-mama]

Yeah, it was around age 4 that my oldest learned the concept of asking for things he wanted. And now, at almost 8, he has now perfected it. ;)

My 5yo, OTOH, cannot come up with a single thing he wants when asked. We go to a toy store to spend birthday money or to choose a little reward for something good he did and it will take an HOUR for him to find something that he wants. He just isn't into material things and he has an older brother who models a lot of "gimme" behavior.

My youngest, who will be 3 in December, has never asked for a thing yet either.

So, a lot of it is age, and some of it is their personality.

[KrisM]

Last year, age 3.5, he only asked for one thing. This year is much different. Heck, he ads things to DD's and DS2's lists!