Imagine this...

[Clarity]

You're out to dinner with dh and your 2.5yr old and 3 month old. Five minutes after ordering the 3 month old wakes crying. After trying unsuccesfully to calm her you realize you're going to have to nurse her in the restaurant. Manage to do that somewhat discreetly - the 2yr old only pulling the blanket/cover off twice. (NIP is a relatively new brave thing.) After baby is fed, toddler is fed, dh is fed. Mommy gets to eat while dh holds contented baby. YAY. After a few minutes, a quiet "OH MY G#D" is heard from across the table. Glance up and hear dh whisper that baby has had a bm which has leaked out of her diaper and into dh's lap. And, not just a little. Dh has puddles of bfed baby bm in his lap.

What do you do? The thread about changing dc diaper in a restaurant floated through my mind but this...this was worse. And, the restaurant did NOT have a changing table.

I think we're not taking dd2 to a restaurant again until she's pt'd!

[lisams]

Oh no! I think I'd ask for a take out box, or finish up quickly and drape my jacket or baby blanket so it's hanging just right to cover the mess for the exit.

I have never used the changing stations in the restrooms, for some reason I just can't do it. I have the trunk of our mini van turned into a mini changing station.

I'm sorry!! So I'm curious what you did do! I hope you were able to enjoy your dinner one way or another.

[elaineandmichaelsmommy]

Ask the waiter for paper napkins and a glass of water for dh to clean up. wrap the baby in a blanket and high tail it into the bathroom. Put the blanket down on the sink or even the floor and take care of business. Hopefully dh could get himself cleaned up and I'd wash the blanket after getting home. Hopefully the rest. bathroom was relatively clean. Not much else you can do but your best.

[ellies mom]

Not much else you can do but your best.

Well, you can also be grateful that it was DH instead of you. :hug:

[misshollygolightly]

Ack! That's awful! I just read the OP to my DH and he said, "I think you just keep ordering drinks!" :hug:

[hellokitty]

Ugh, that stinks. If it was not too cold outside, I would have changed the baby in the car. We have been in restaurants before where they did not have a changing table and found a quiet corner of the restaurant to change the diaper. Of course, that only works if the restaurant is not full. I'm sorry that happened. My kids always seemed to leak BF poo at the worst times too. One other thing that might have worked was just to wrap a blanket around baby until you could figure out how to deal with the situation.

[Corie]

I think my DH would take off his pants, stuff them in the trash
and walk out in his boxers.

[SnuggleBuggles]

In your exact situation I would have sent baby and dh to the car as is while paying/ wrapping up the meal. I'd do whatever changing possible in the car (dh to his boxers if no spare pants, baby changed).

So sorry!
Beth

[hellokitty]

I think my DH would take off his pants, stuff them in the trash
and walk out in his boxers.

Lol, just thinking about this image makes me laugh.

[Ceepa]

DH and baby go out to the car cleaning up as best as they can. Toddler and I stay in the restaurant and get food wrapped to go. Get in car, drive home, everyone gets stripped down and bathed, start a load of laundry immediately.

[DrSally]

OMG. So sorry. Sorry to say, I can imagine this, although we've never had it that bad (with the leaking dipe). I would have taken her out to the car to change (minivan makes it easy, and then...I don't know, it's now like you keep a spare pair of pants for DH in the car. Maybe size up a diaper for DD when you go out to eat! DD has been leaking BF poop out of her dipe lately (up her back), but that's b/c we're trying to use up the last of the 1/2 dipes that are a little too small.

[CAM7]

Oh sorry to hear that... it's tough when they are so little. It will lighten up though and you'll be able to return to a (halfway) normal lifestyle soon.

Our two kids are 13 months apart. One of the worst dining out experiences was Dh's birthday. One baby in high chair the other in a carseat in one of those 'sling' holder things. Both babies fussed and/or cried the minute we got there....toys on the floor (the pick up game) and spewed crackers on everything....I'm digging around in the diaper bag looking for anything interesting for the babies to gum up while trying to look at the menu and then order.

Right after the food arrived I had to take the littlest to the restroom to nurse... while Dh tried to shovel down his birthday dinner and entertain the other baby. The waitress boxed up my food while I was in the ladies room...immediately after I return to the table Dh gave up and had his food boxed up...and we left after only being there for about 1/2 hour.

Happy Birthday Dh! Was fun!

[Clarity]

Well, now I'm wishing I could have asked this before the Great BM Incident of 2008. Ceepa and Beth...I wish we'd thought of sending dh and baby to the car. We didn't though. LOL

Sadly, I had left my diaper bag in the car and had NOTHING to work with in the restaurant. Plus, we were really trying to not draw attention to the fact that dd had just had an accident...I just kept thinking that this had to be the most unsanitary thing. We were trying to get cleaned up with minimum fuss and no additional mess.

I ended up grabbing a napkin, slapping it on the baby's back and hustling HER to the front door. As I rushed us away, my toddler (with perfect timing) chimed, "I have to go potty!" I had to send her with dh who had stood up and was quickly heading for the restroom. Poor man had to remove his clothing and rinse it in the sink. I ended up having to wait by the front door b/c in my rush to remove her from the eating area I had left her carseat and our keys at the table. Then yes, I changed her in our car. To top it all off I had just taken her spare outfit out of the diaper bag that very day....and not replaced it. So my dd rode home with no pants. *sigh* Thank goodness we have one of those warm shower caps on the carseat or I would have been beyond myself. What a comedy of errors. LOL I don't remember this kind of thing with dd1 at all!

[Clarity]

Our two kids are 13 months apart. One of the worst dining out experiences was Dh's birthday. One baby in high chair the other in a carseat in one of those 'sling' holder things. Both babies fussed and/or cried the minute we got there....toys on the floor (the pick up game) and spewed crackers on everything....I'm digging around in the diaper bag looking for anything interesting for the babies to gum up while trying to look at the menu and then order. Right after the food arrived I had to take the littlest to the restroom to nurse... while Dh tried to shovel down his birthday dinner and entertain the other baby. The waitress boxed up my food while I was in the ladies room...immediately after I return to the table Dh gave up and had his food boxed up...and we left after only being there for about 1/2 hour. Happy Birthday Dh! Was fun!

This sounds awful too! But it's so nice to read something that I could have written. :wink2: It's been harder to go out since dd2 arrived. She doesn't care for her carseat and fusses almost immediately upon stopping the car. But they go with us everywhere and we don't really have babysitters, most especially for her since she's so young and bf'd.
It doesn't help that my dh is really keen to keep the girls as much "seen not heard" as possible when we're out. Absolutely out of respect for other people but that attitude makes a baby's cranky moments more stressful b/c I worry that dh will be getting anxious too. Sometimes I just have to tell him to relax or let him take the whichever dc needs to blow off steam away from the table.
Does it ever just seems like everyone else's children are so well behaved while they're out? Meanwhile, while my toddler IS good, she can be loud and she's developed a love of bouncing on the booth seats. Ah well. Tomorrow's another day and we sized up the diapers immediately thereafter.

[bubbaray]

Well, you can also be grateful that it was DH instead of you. :hug:


Ugh, that stinks.

Sorry, both of these quotes made me LOL.


OP, have you tried taking your youngest out of the infant seat and putting her in a bouncy seat? We used to take that to restaurants with both girls when they were little. Well, pretty much only Red Robin (blech) because there aren't many family friendly places here.

[Clarity]

a restaurant? While at the table and the family is eating?
I had gone into the RR while my dd was initially fussy but there was nowhere to nurse her as I was NOT sitting on the toilet to do so. I also didn't want to occupy the only woman's RR for the 10-15 minutes needed to nurse dd. And, I don't really want to feed my dd in the RR, kwim? With dd1 I would have gone to the car but she was a summer babe and the weather wasn't a factor it is now. What's prevailing wisdom about NIP?

[1964pandora]

OM Gosh, sorry that happened to you! It was going so well there for a minute!


I think my DH would take off his pants, stuff them in the trash
and walk out in his boxers.

I'm not kidding when I say that we would do the same thing. DH wouldn't walk out of the restaurant in his boxers, but we would ditch the trousers in the dumpster in the parking lot. We are very well experienced with this scenario having dealt with rotavirus type illnesses many times! We have had several naked people driving around in the car after throwing up, etc.

[bubbaray]

a restaurant? While at the table and the family is eating?
I had gone into the RR while my dd was initially fussy but there was nowhere to nurse her as I was NOT sitting on the toilet to do so. I also didn't want to occupy the only woman's RR for the 10-15 minutes needed to nurse dd. And, I don't really want to feed my dd in the RR, kwim? With dd1 I would have gone to the car but she was a summer babe and the weather wasn't a factor it is now. What's prevailing wisdom about NIP?

I have with both girls, though I was more relaxed about it with DD#2. Having said that, I'm more comfortable NIP in general in Canada vs the US (I'm from the US originally and we go to WA state very often, we're only 15 min from the border). Maybe its because BFg is more common in Canada, not sure why. Unless it was really hot outside, I usually go to the car to BF because *I* can get more comfy, not because I care about what other people think.

I don't see the problem with NIP at a restaurant -- everyone else is eating there, why not a baby?

[lizajane]

a restaurant? While at the table and the family is eating?
I had gone into the RR while my dd was initially fussy but there was nowhere to nurse her as I was NOT sitting on the toilet to do so. I also didn't want to occupy the only woman's RR for the 10-15 minutes needed to nurse dd. And, I don't really want to feed my dd in the RR, kwim? With dd1 I would have gone to the car but she was a summer babe and the weather wasn't a factor it is now. What's prevailing wisdom about NIP?

if you have a right to be there, you have a right to feed your baby there. this issue is one that really irks me. it isn't like you are going to take off your shirt, stand up and shake your girls, then attach your baby to your breast as it swings in the breeze.

i can't EVER remember one single time that i got an odd look while NIP. EVER. and i went 14 months with DS1 and nearly 17 with DS2. i NIP at restaurants ALL the time.

[trales]

I have nursed in restaurants all over the world. If you can eat in a restaurant so can your child. I would have never even considered not doing it. Friends tend to be happier to have a quiet baby with them rather than a crying one, I have even been smiled at by waitstaff.

As long as you are comfortable NIP, go for it.

[KrisM]

if you have a right to be there, you have a right to feed your baby there. this issue is one that really irks me. it isn't like you are going to take off your shirt, stand up and shake your girls, then attach your baby to your breast as it swings in the breeze.

i can't EVER remember one single time that i got an odd look while NIP. EVER. and i went 14 months with DS1 and nearly 17 with DS2. i NIP at restaurants ALL the time.

You mean I don't [i[have[/i] to do all that first?? I so enjoy that part.

I also NIP at restaurants often. One time, I was holding DS2 (not feeding) as he was full, but fussy and wouldn't sleep in his carseat. So, I'm cuddling him and he falls asleep. Our food arrived and I covered DS2 with a couple of opened napkins. DH pointed out that I was much more obvious with napkins than I was without. I asked what he meant and he thought I was nursing. I was just trying to keep pizza off DS2 :).

[Clarity]

Hmm..we don't own a bouncy seat. Could I get away with taking a bumbo for something like that? A friend is loaning us one for dd but I haven't seen her in it yet to know how useful it would be.

[Melanie]

a restaurant? While at the table and the family is eating?
I had gone into the RR while my dd was initially fussy but there was nowhere to nurse her as I was NOT sitting on the toilet to do so. I also didn't want to occupy the only woman's RR for the 10-15 minutes needed to nurse dd. And, I don't really want to feed my dd in the RR, kwim? With dd1 I would have gone to the car but she was a summer babe and the weather wasn't a factor it is now. What's prevailing wisdom about NIP?

Absolutely. Anywhere you have a right to be, your baby has a right to nurse. And ITA, the whole nursing coverup thing draws WAY more attention to the fact that you're nursing. I just don't understand those! Then again, it gets the word out that more and more mothers are doing it.

[DrSally]

a restaurant? While at the table and the family is eating?
I had gone into the RR while my dd was initially fussy but there was nowhere to nurse her as I was NOT sitting on the toilet to do so. I also didn't want to occupy the only woman's RR for the 10-15 minutes needed to nurse dd. And, I don't really want to feed my dd in the RR, kwim? With dd1 I would have gone to the car but she was a summer babe and the weather wasn't a factor it is now. What's prevailing wisdom about NIP?

Uh, absolutely! If you feel exposed, one of those hooter hider covers is nice so you don't have to feel self conscious. Joanna Designs makes a nice knock off on Ebay. I've found it easier to do in a booth rather than a table in the middle of the room.

ETA: I prefer a nursing shirt rather than a coverup. They're very discreet. But, I carry a nursing cover in case I'm around people that I think will feel uncomfortable.

[MamaMolly]

We had a similar poopy blowout this summer, in a place that was a surfer bar! Not very family friendly but we'd heard the food was good... Anyway, DD and I (the ones covered in the pop hurricane) scooted out to the car and I expected everyone else to eat but they boxed everything and we took it home to eat. My BIL had on a polo and undershirt so he gave me his polo to change into in the car.

In your case...I dunno. Probably we'd have boxed everything up and left. Big hugs. Oh, and I think a restaurant is the perfect place to NIP.

[kimberley-k]

a restaurant? While at the table and the family is eating?
I had gone into the RR while my dd was initially fussy but there was nowhere to nurse her as I was NOT sitting on the toilet to do so. I also didn't want to occupy the only woman's RR for the 10-15 minutes needed to nurse dd. And, I don't really want to feed my dd in the RR, kwim? With dd1 I would have gone to the car but she was a summer babe and the weather wasn't a factor it is now. What's prevailing wisdom about NIP?

It is absolutely fine to nurse your baby in a restaurant! I do it all the time. Recently we ate at the restaurant at Trump National Golf Course in Rancho Palos Verdes, and I was a little afraid it was so fancy that somebody snooty might be rude about it, but actually the manager came over and made a nice comment, about how my baby was getting better food than any of the customers!

In 2+ years nursing, I've never had a dirty look or negative comment.

-Kim

[carolinamama]

Ugh. Sorry you had to go through that experience. I've never had it quite that bad but I do remember walking through Baby Depot one day and discovering that ds1 had filled his diaper and then some when it started leaking on the floor. It was all over his clothes and the floor but I managed to avoid getting it on me. Those bf baby blow-outs are awful - especially when they happen outside the home.

I would definitely say nip in a family restaurant if you are comfortable. It doesn't bother me at all when I see others doing it. I'm not so good at not baring too much so I tend to go to the car but have bf in public if baby needs to eat and it's the best option.

As for what I would do in your situation, I think I'd take the baby to the car to change since I don't use public changing stations anyway. We would probably high-tail it out of the restaurant as quickly as possible to go home and get cleaned up.

[Fairy]

Holy ohmigod. What an unfun experience! Then all the way back home that way. Yikes! This one is right up there with Punkrockmama's DS smearing his poop all over the walls and saying, "mama, get me out of here!" Yep, Clarity, it'll be one for the "we'll look back at this and laugh!" history book. So sorry, hope you made it thru ok!

As for NIP, I'm one of those that don't appear in print on this board much, but I do think you're entitled to NIP everywhere. But just cuz you are entitled doesn't mean I think it should be done. Not all public places are going to be conducive and/or receptive, and that's just going to make you uncomfortable and have a difficult time. A quick trip to the ladies room is the way to go in those situations. I also think full boob flashing is not the way to go and that a cover should be used or a discreet top made for that stuff, which are pretty great. I never got to use mine, unfortunately, but I wanted to. On the other hand, it's also important to know when it IS the right place even when others think it's not. For me, there's a continuum, here, it's not black and white. Do what's right for the situation, whatever that is for you.

[MamaKath]

Poor man had to remove his clothing and rinse it in the sink.
:hug:
OMGoodness, what an exciting evening! Sounds like you all took it in stride.

Your poor dh, I am not sure I would have thought to try that, so pretty inventive. :thumbsup: And I know my dh wouldn't have thought of it, lol.

Situations like this are why I try to keep a full set of clothes in the car for each family member though. You just never know.

[Clarity]

But just cuz you are entitled doesn't mean I think it should be done. Not all public places are going to be conducive and/or receptive, and that's just going to make you uncomfortable and have a difficult time. .................. Do what's right for the situation, whatever that is for you.

I actually agree with you about assessing the situation and then doing what's right. I felt a bit uncomfortable in THIS restaurant nursing my babe. Probably because we were the only couple in there with children. It's a smaller restaurant, mid-eastern fare, so not a lot of kids, but not a formal restaurant by any means. But, if I hadn't fed her, she would have continued screeching and that, I decided, was more disruptive than breastfeeding could ever be. I feel less comfortable feeding my baby in the RR so I typically retreat to my car when I feel uncertain about NIP.

I will add that I bfed my dd in Panera last night without a second thought. Although that was after I posted this query so I might have been feeling emboldened by the support. LOL Thanks so much!