Is my DD too big?

[veronica]

I started reading another thread posted here...and got to thinking. DH and I are both about 20 lbs over weight and have been since having children a few years ago. We also both tend to eat poorly and can gain easily (have both been this way since childhood).

We are super proud to have such good, generally non-fussy eaters in DD and DS. DS is so much smaller than DD was at the same age, that we aren't worried about him but DD was introduced to candy during Halloween for , really the first time. This also coincided with PTing so it became, you get a lollipop or gummy if you go poop in the potty. Well, now she is potty trained but the candy craze is now common. We are working on our halloween bag and try to limit one a day but with the holidays, our meals have gotten worse. Plus, she just turned 3 a few weeks ago and that was all about cake and cupcakes. We never let her have any treats without finishing veggies and her meal, but I think that has now turned into over-eating.......

we just weighed her and she is 35 pounds. Her belly is huge and we both have noticed that during the past two weeks it seems bigger and her um "breast area" is looking more filled out or chubbier. Is 35 too big at just turned 3? I am obsessed with this because we have taught her such healthy habits until now and feel like it got ruined, seemingly overnight. She has always been solid-ie. weight about 26 at a year and always in the 90th percentile, but now I am getting worried.

if you got this far, thank you. any suggestions. I don't know if her weight is "normal" for her age. I just don't want her to be me IYKWIM

[schums]

As long as she's stayed on about the same growth curve (and it sounds like she has), I wouldn't worry about it at all. It sounds like she's getting healthy food with some treats thrown in. Our motto here is all things in moderation, and that includes "unhealthy treats" as DS calls them.

FTR, DS was about 35 pounds at 2 years old, and DD was 39 pounds at 3. Both are very healthy and are excellent eaters.

[JBaxter]

Depends on how tall she is. When she goes for her 3yr check up the doctor should tell you what her height and weight % are they can also do a BMI ( body mass index)

[o_mom]

I think she sounds fine. My kids tend to get the pot belly look right before they sprout a couple inches in height.

You can't keep sweet stuff away forever, so you didn't 'ruin' anything. I would just cut back a bit if it is becoming an obsession (hard right now with the holidays, but in a week or two). Don't have it around, let the Halloween candy 'evaporate' at night so that it is gone in a shorter period. Offer up healthier sweet stuff - fruit, whole grain muffins, etc. Be low key about true dessert - only a couple times a week with no fanfare and take the forbidden fruit aspect out of it.

[CAM7]

We try to eat healthy around here too...but during the holidays it's tough!

I just go back to buying only healthy foods after the holidays...no cookies or cakes and candies in our house then...none! Easter comes soon enough.

All the holiday junkfood slowly gets eaten and I just do not replenish it.

If you make a gradual change sometimes it's easier. Maybe buy some favorite (or new) fruit and get them going on that instead... grapes, berries, melon, etc...keep it cut up and in the fridge for easy snacks.

[amldaley]

I agree w. pp...it depends on her height and where she has been on the curve.

Now is a good time to start back on a healthy eating plan for everyone! The sugar habit is hard to break. I share alot of the same concerns as you for the same reasons. Instead of a peice of candy per day, start cutting back to one peice every few days and`explain to her WHY. Start substituting a small peice of fruit instead. It will be hard the first few days, but worth it.

[brittone2]

Nak-
I would check her growth curve, but I'm sure DD is fine. You can always talk to the ped if you are concerned.

My personal take is that using food as a reward is actually more of a problem than the actual eating of junk. I know many feel it is best to make dessert a special "treat" etc. but I think that increases the appeal and ups the desire for those items. When we do sweets/dessert we often serve it right along with dinner, which sounds weird, but it takes away the "power" of it being some sort of "special" food...and all of the loaded emotional stuff that goes along w/ it. I think making food a loaded issue is more damaging than the sugar is, if that makes sense.

We don't buy much junk so it isn't a power struggle, but when we do have sweet stuff, it isn't used as a reward or only given when a child finishes a meal. IMO using it as a reward or for finishing dinner makes it more powerful, appealing, and emotionally loaded than it needs to be. Encouraging DC to finish dinner to get dessert may very well make it more likely they'll overeat. I'd rather my child learn to stop when full, etc. vs. eat just to get dessert. I personally think the whole idea of food=reward=special situation is part of why so many adults feel the need to eat when stressed or to reward themselves after a tough day, kwim?

Serving it with dinner works well here. There is probably a transition period if your kid is not accustomed to that approach, but we find DC will eat some dessert, go back to their healthy food, eat a little dessert, eat more healthy stuff, etc. It actually seems kind of more balanced to me in the long run...self regulation, learning to stop when full, etc.

[ellies mom]

I think she sounds fine. My kids tend to get the pot belly look right before they sprout a couple inches in height.

My oldest does this too.

[lizajane]

35 lbs at 3 is not a problem by itself. you said your eating habits have gone downhill lately. but good news! you can go back to eating well again! just keep putting out the good stuff and keep lowering the number of treats. and try to get out as a family to do active things together. but at 3, i would NOT get worried. you would just drive yourself crazy!!

and FWIW, i have one GIANT kid (tall) and one TINY (short) kid. they are just all different.

[WatchingThemGrow]

I think you can look on this chart to see where she falls and how consistent that is with how she has been growing.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhanes/growthcharts/set2clinical/cj41c072.pdf


If that chart isn't easy to read, find the one that goes up to 36 months on this page.
http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/about/major/nhanes/growthcharts/clinical_charts.htm

I'm reading Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family by Ellyn Satter, which seems great so far. I think a lot of good principles are in it and the book that made her famous, Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense. If you're concerned about her eating/self regulation/sweet addiction, they'd be a good read.

[veronica]

Thank you all for the support-I was able to check against the cdc guidlines and she continues to be at the high end of the curve but not over it. Her 4 year well visit is in about a month (Dr.'s office is really delayed) so I know they can do her BMI index then. My mom actually was over today and said that she thought DD was getting smaller even before I mentioned what DH and I thought so I feel a bit better.

On a positive, she got the smart cycle for the holidays and is in love with the thing so exercise in the winter seems like it will be going great for her!

[citymama]

Veronica, I know our DDs are about the same age. 35 lbs sounds in the right range for this age, perhaps on the higher end of the scale, but absolutely normal. Mine will be 3 in a few months, and is over 32 lbs, about 39 inches tall. I don't see her as overweight - aside from a little potbelly, which they all have at this age, I think she is a happy, healthy, growing kid. It amazes and in some ways thrills me that she is so big since a) I was always the shrimp among my peers and b) she was born super-tiny at 5 and some lbs, even though she was full-term.

Regardless, it never hurts to be better about eating healthy and setting the right example for your DD. It sounds like it might be good for the whole family - buying more fruit as snacks rather than candy or sweets, whole grain crackers rather than the kind high in saturated fats, salads, veggies, the whole shebang. Cutting out white/refined flours and sugars also helps.

Just want to add a note of caution against communicating indirectly or directly any weight concerns to your DD. (Not that you would do so, but after a horrible eating disorder tragedy in my extended family, I am extremely sensitive to this set of issues). I think these kinds of messages sink in at a very early age and can be very confusing to young kids. I think it's fantastic to be thinking of instilling good eating habits in our kids, but we don't want to inadvertently send any negative messages about their body image, KWIM?

[Clarity]

I worry occassionally about my dd's size but I tell myself that I feed her healthy foods and I minimize the sugar she gets so she's okay. She's a good eater, that's all. It was harder over the holiday, my child had her first cookie over Thanksgiving, then had three on Xmas day alone. FWIW, my dd is 2.5, about 35" tall and 33lbs.
Now I plan on purging the kitchen of the junk that's infiltrated over the holiday and stocking back up on healthy foods and moving on. It'll be another year before she has such unfettered access to sweets so we might as well not worry about it.

[ShanaMama]

I cannot believe this thread- it's making me feel guilty. Do all of your kids really get sweets only once a year? I can *not* say that my house is only stocked with healthy food at all. DH & I like our junky snacks! I try to offer DD good snacks like homemade muffins and grapes but she certainly has her share of junk food. FWIW, OP, DD is 3 1/2 and a tall skinny 35 lbs. I worry more about nutrition and cavities than weight gain.

[Melanie]

I can't speak to the belly or candy, but that seems about the weight of my Dd. She's got someone else's flat tummy (not from my side of the family!).
I don't think 35 pounds is high at all for weight, is it? Dd has had a HUGE growth spurt since she turned three, though. (She's now 3 yr 3 mo) I keep forgetting how tall she is, so that could be part of her luck in the flat tummy dept.
Dd had her first piece of candy this year during Hanukkah (chocolate 'coin') and has had about 2 now. Of course I've not weighed her since the holidays started, LOL. She had a few of our homemade cookies as well. It could be she's alot heavier now! Candy and cookies are like crack to my kids, they cannot focus if it's even a possibility. That's why we just about never have any for them.

[veronica]

I cannot believe this thread- it's making me feel guilty. Do all of your kids really get sweets only once a year? I can *not* say that my house is only stocked with healthy food at all. DH & I like our junky snacks! I try to offer DD good snacks like homemade muffins and grapes but she certainly has her share of junk food. FWIW, OP, DD is 3 1/2 and a tall skinny 35 lbs. I worry more about nutrition and cavities than weight gain.


I just think it depends on the circumstances. For example, DD has never been a picky eater and always accepted what we gave her, with no fuss. Yesteday, she requested brussel sprouts and ate about 7! She always has meat, veggie and we finish with fruit. Her first ice cream cone was at 2 years old. Her first lollipop at 2.5 because we never were in the situation where it occured to us to give her any of this before. BUT-our downfall has been that she is in pre-school now, and dance class and the exposure to other kids and snack time at school plus she has started going to b-day parties for the kids where she has really been introduced to the junk! We totally ruined it with the PTg issue I mentioned but I know it will be pretty easy to go back for her. I am just trying how to figure out how not to make a big deal about giving her a treat. I can' imagine getting rid of the lollipops or ice crean and then acting like it's no big deal when we do give it like a previous poster mentioned.....I always liked these "treats" but totally understand the logic that it directly ties emotion to the eating!

[CAM7]

Veronica, I know our DDs are about the same age. 35 lbs sounds in the right range for this age, perhaps on the higher end of the scale, but absolutely normal.

Remember too that weight needs to be combined with height for a good indication of health. Is your DD tall too?

My DS is almost three and is about 42lbs... but he's also about 42" or so. I can't pinch any fat on him...but his muscles have a lot of bulk.

[mommy111]

Your DD sounds fine, we too notice a little bit of a pot belly before growth spurts and in the winter. At our house, we don't do candy at all. Its just not allowed. I hate what it does to kids teeth and weight. We do not limit sweet, it just has to be made at home sweet (like pie etc that we bake at home) or dessert as part of a meal, all that's OK. I find that it works well because she's exposed to so much candy at school that home is a no-candy zone.