Need opinions on interviewing while pregnant

[KarenLud]

So I'm being laid off at the end of this month (yeah, Wednesday) and I have a couple interviews scheduled in the next couple of weeks. I'm 22 weeks pregnant and it's pretty difficult to hide it. While I know that employers can't discriminate against me because I'm pregnant, I think it's bound to happen, especially in this economic climate where competition is so tough. To complicate things, I'm being laid off with 80 other very qualified social workers so I'm competing for a few jobs with many others, including colleagues. I bought a black jacket to try to hide it as best as I can, but DH still says I look pregnant. *sigh*

Where I'm particularly worried is one job I'm interviewing for where being pregnant would prevent me from being able to complete one of the possible job requirements (physically management of youth on a very occasional basis). Part of me feels like I need to be up front with them and let them know of this limitation but then on the other hand I don't think I need to. Thoughts and tips on what to do and how to handle potential employers?

Thanks in advance!

[mmsmom]

Don't ask, don't tell! My advice would be to discreetly try to hide it (your husband knows you are pregnant so I'm sure to him you look pregnant while you may not to someone else). When you get a firm job offer, then tell them you are pregnant if you decide to accept the offer. This way you are being up front with them but they also can't discriminate against you because you are pregnant. Good luck!

[JustMe]

Hi there,

I'm a fellow social worker and have worked at places where physical management of youth has been required at times. I agree that you don't need to volunteer that you are pregnant. In addition to the legalities, I think most social service/mental health places respect boundaries and would respect this boundary. That said, I don't think that any place with decent management would discriminate against you for being pregnant. In the places I have worked, I have always seen them find ways to accommodate pregnant women, although the way in which they did this varied a lot.

The only reason I might think it be a good idea to volunteer the info is if you are asked if you need any accommodations to do the necessary job duties. This is a question that is sometimes asked in interviews, and when asked I think the employer is asking because they are willing or mandated to accommodate the employee. I also might volunteer the info if you were feeling very comfortable in the interview, and the issue of your ability, willingness to do restraint (or whatever physical intervention you mean) in general was asked about. I then think it would be fine to say that you are normally willing/able but would probably need some accommodation during your pregnancy. As I said, I really think any decent employer would accommodate this (usually places like this are big on team work anyway), and I have seen this happen in places with very low budgets who are not able/willing to accommodate much else!

I agree with the pp that if it doesn't come up in the interview and you do accept the job, it would be a good idea to bring up you need for possible accommodation. I would do it immediately after you accept the job in the same phone conversation.

Good luck and keep us posted.

[Fairy]

Absolutely do not volunteer this information. Hide it with clothing, even try to just look overweight, but do not tell them you're pregnant. I do agree, however, that if asked about accommodations for job duties, then that is the time to disclose. You do want to be honest. But you don't want to volunteer the information if it does not organically emerge in the conversation.

I've been in your position. My job dissolved while I was in the beginning of my pregnancy, and that was totally not fun. But it all turned out well in the end for me. So, wishing you the best. Good luck!

[C99]

BTDT. I thought that I looked obviously pregnant, but when I had the offer letter in-hand and told them that I was pregnant, they were shocked! So it may depend on who interviews you. Like you, I wore looser clothing and tried to hide it as much as possible.

[wawa08]

Don't tell until you have to

[WatchingThemGrow]

So...my mom was an elementary principal for decades and hired teachers, counselors, social workers, assistants, etc. If she hired someone for the new schoolyear, THEN found out they needed to have coverage for a few months b/c they were already 4-5 mos pg, I'm guessing she'd be a bit miffed they weren't honest about their situation/condition and longevity -- more for the sake of the kids than for HER having to find coverage, etc.

Personally, I couldn't interview feeling the way I do (not far behind you) and not tell them. Your enthusiasm, professionalism, commitment to return to work after your leave, etc. would seemingly win out over the pg if you're really the right person for the job. Just my thoughts...

[Ceepa]

Where I'm particularly worried is one job I'm interviewing for where being pregnant would prevent me from being able to complete one of the possible job requirements (physically management of youth on a very occasional basis). Part of me feels like I need to be up front with them and let them know of this limitation but then on the other hand I don't think I need to.

I'm not sure what this requirement means, but if I felt I couldn't perform job duties that are important to the role, I would disclose.

[Fairy]

Not all industries are the same. In Corporate America, the fact is that they don't care about you. No matter how high on the list of "best places to work" or "best places for women" or "best places for mothers" they are, they Do. Not. Care. You are a number. This is not your grandfather's Corporate America. Loyalty does not exist. There are exceptions to every rule, but by and large, it just doesn't. So, you have to look out for number one. You need a job. You need healthcare. You need, therefore, to do what you have to do. Interviewing with the intent of then leaving once you have the child and never coming back is not cool, and I don't have a good answer for that. But trying to find a long term job while pregnant with the intention of returning is not unreasonable.

I don't know a thing about the social work industry. But IMO, the same concept of looking out for number one still applies. In a school, timing does matter, and depending on your needs is a terrible position to be in on both sides.

Hope this all works out for you.

[KarenLud]

Wow! Thanks so much for all of your responses! The one place I'm interviewing at that requires the physical management piece (yes, restraints) I actually worked at before for 4 years...so my record should stand on it's own. Still I'm worried though, you know? In addition, the physical management is a much more minor part of the job and definitely not one of the main requirements. I like the idea of either telling them if they ask about any limitations (and I think the pp is right that any decent place would be willing to make the accommodations) or once they have extended an offer.

I tried on a bunch of outfits for DH today and he just kept saying I look pregnant! Um, not helpful right now :31:

I'm torn between a couple outfits..one looks much more professional but it does leave a question about pregnancy and another one allows me to cover myself in a jacket (it's more like an outside jacket) and looks less professional.

Thanks again for your advice and I'd love any additional thoughts as well :wavey:

[blisstwins]

If she hired someone for the new schoolyear, THEN found out they needed to have coverage for a few months b/c they were already 4-5 mos pg, I'm guessing she'd be a bit miffed they weren't honest about their situation/condition and longevity -- more for the sake of the kids than for HER having to find coverage, etc.


Just curious, but would your mom have hired someone who was pregnant who she knew would be on leave a few months into the year? I just have a hard time believing that a pregnancy would not argue against hiring someone else if there were another qualified non-pregnant candidate.

[firstbaby]

I would say that while I would not advertise I'm pregnant, I would disclose it if you felt like the right opportunity presented itself and you had the right chemistry with the interviewer(s).

I'm not sure what your plans are to return to work after the baby, but if you do return, you will most likely not qualify for FMLA coverage. FMLA basically holds your job or comparable job for up to 12 weeks while caring for yourself / new baby / family member (having a baby for example). Most companies (if they have enough qualifying employees) only cover employees for FMLA if they have had 12 months of service prior to their leave date. So, in my very humble opinion, I would want to make sure a company was prepared for me to take this leave and supported it and I didn't surprise them with being pregnant after accepting an offer / starting in hopes that they would still hold my job for me after my leave. I do agree 100% that all employees are commodotized these days, but for the right fit / company, I think they would appreciate the disclosure so that they were prepared. Conversely, it would be like if they knew the position would only last for x months and didn't disclose that during the interview process. NOT the same thing, but not totally different either. HTH.

[kellij]

Hi. I didn't read through all of the responses, but I interviewed for a job at about 38 weeks pregnant, so I thought I'd tell you about that. I was HUGELY pregnant. I made a comment about having the baby soon so I'd be ready to go in Sept. (It was for a prof job at a law school and the interview was in April or May). Anyway, they hadn't noticed I was pregnant. Weird. I had also talked to the dean about the job and later I made a comment about having the baby soon and she had no idea either. It's just weird because I looked super pregnant. There was NO mistaking it. So that leads me to my theory that many people are pretty oblivious. They might not even clue in that your pregnant. It's so odd, but it's true.

That being said, I think it's a bit odd to discuss the terms of the time you would take off, etc, at an initial interview. It seems kind of presumptious. They aren't allowed to ask anything, so they shouldn't be, and it seems weird to offer the info. If the interview becomes a second interview, then it seems like it might be a better time to discuss limitations, etc. I think if they called to offer you the job you might just tell them at that point and tell them that you have the following concerns and that to be upfront with everyone you thought you should discuss those before accepting the offer.

Good luck!!

[Melbel]

I actually interviewed and accepted new employment while 7.5 months pregnant with DS. I was very obviously pregnant (huge baby and small frame) and openly discussed the fact that I intended to take 12 weeks leave upon birth of the baby during my interview. I was fortunate that I did not NEED to change jobs. However, like you, I questioned whether an employer would be willing to hire me in my condition (of course, not admitting that the pregnancy played any part in the decision making). I was happy to discover that my pregnancy was a non-issue. I was able to join a top tier firm, earn a significantly higher salary and take a full paid leave. Who would have thought? I was so surprised how everything worked out. Needless to say, this instilled tremendous loyalty in me.

If you truly cannot perform essential job functions, IMO you really need to disclose the pregnancy to try and work out an accommodation. As for the other jobs, I do not think it is necessary to disclose the pregnancy during the initial interview. On the other hand, you do not want a new employer to feel blindsided either (not a good way to start a new working relationship). Be confident and sell your strengths. Good luck!

[ShanaMama]

I just want to wish you good luck. I changed jobs in my seventh month, very obviously pregnant. It can be done!

[KarenLud]

I do agree 100% that all employees are commodotized these days, but for the right fit / company, I think they would appreciate the disclosure so that they were prepared. Conversely, it would be like if they knew the position would only last for x months and didn't disclose that during the interview process. NOT the same thing, but not totally different either. HTH.

This is a good point and what I'm struggling with..I don't want to be dishonest but I also don't want being pregnant to be a reason I don't get hired. I guess if it's meant to be then it will be...

[Melbel]

This is a good point and what I'm struggling with..I don't want to be dishonest but I also don't want being pregnant to be a reason I don't get hired. I guess if it's meant to be then it will be...

I have been thinking about this. Unless I was absolutely desperate for a job, I would not want to work for an employer who would not hire me b/c I was pregnant. This type of bias/discrimination would also likely pervade other employment decisions as well.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Just curious, but would your mom have hired someone who was pregnant who she knew would be on leave a few months into the year? I just have a hard time believing that a pregnancy would not argue against hiring someone else if there were another qualified non-pregnant candidate.

Oh, I think she would definitely hire someone pregnant if she knew the person would be the right fit for the school, the team, the students, and that she was committed to returning, assuming everything was fine with the delivery and the baby. I just don't think she would hire the person if they admitted to wanting to work for only 4 more months before becoming a SAHM. That just doesn't work in an elementary school situation where kids are involved. Constant transition with the population of her school just wasn't desired.

I do have a friend who worked for like 2 days, then had maybe 2-3 mos off with her baby, then came back to finish the rest of the year. She was a phenomenal teacher and they recognized it in the interview.

Good luck with the interview. Wear whichever outfit you feel BEST in, and you'll be great! If it is meant to be, then it will be!

[KarenLud]

I have been thinking about this. Unless I was absolutely desperate for a job, I would not want to work for an employer who would not hire me b/c I was pregnant. This type of bias/discrimination would also likely pervade other employment decisions as well.

Yes, this is what I was trying to say although lacked the words! This is how I feel. Although I am a bit "desperate" for a job since Wednesday is my last day, I'm not to the point yet where I will take a job at an agency where they wouldn't support these types of things.

[KarenLud]

Thanks again everyone! I'm starting to feel more confident now...and I guess I will just pick whatever outfit I feel best in..that is important! This forum rocks! :jammin:

[gatorsmom]

*

Where I'm particularly worried is one job I'm interviewing for where being pregnant would prevent me from being able to complete one of the possible job requirements (physically management of youth on a very occasional basis).



Just so you know, if you did not tell them in advance and were offered the job, they could legitimately fire you for not being able to complete a job requirement. Pregnancy is not covered under the Americans with Disabilities Act so the employer is not required to accomodate you. If they didn't know about you wanting to take maternity leave and decided they didn't like this, this could be one way of letting you go. If there is someone reading with more legal experience, please correct me if I"m wrong.

[kusumat]

I interviewed for a job while I was almost 3 months pregnant. I was ok with my job but hated the commute. I got the job offer but decided to decline it because of the overtime requirement during the high season. My pregnancy was low risk but I still didn't want to push myself too hard. I wouldn't mind a little bit stress from adjusting to a new environment, but overtime during pregnancy is definitely not an ideal. I didn't tell them that I was pregnant during the interview, but I would if I accepted the offer. They would know anyway sooner or later. Personally, I wouldn't like it if someone I hired didn't tell me. If you only take 6-8 wks maternity leave, that may not hurt their work plan that much. But again, let them decide.

I am not sure how long you need to stay with a company to qualify for maternity leave. You may need to check your state law on this.