Baby fell through co-sleeper [Archive] - Baby Bargains & Baby 411 Community

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amldaley

12-30-2008, 05:05 PM

I left our newly active (scooting on her back, rolling to tummy one way, pivoting) alone in the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper for all of two minutes as I went to re-start the washing machine. I herard her begin to cry an earnest cry, but I stupidly stopped to wash my hands. She is tired, we only got 7.5 hours sleep and no nap today. I figured she got stuck in one position. Her cries were getting louder.

I came in to the room and could not find her.

She was not on the sleeping surface of the co-sleeper where I had just left her.

I looked at the bed, the floor and then realized she was IN the BOTTOM (the pack and play portion) of the co-sleeper. The top looked wholly undisturbed.

I ripped the sleeping surface out to find my 5 mo dd face down in the bottom. She was actually under the support bar to one side.

I can only guess that she scooted all the way to one side and the F@*%ing thing flipped open like a trap door, she dropped down and then it flipped closed again.

She calmed down very quickly and is fine - just a scratch on her nose and was laughing and smiling at me within a couple of minutes. I, however, am not OK. She sleeps in the co-sleeper every night. I sleep sideways on the bed so my head is next to her and I can see her and reach her throughout the night. (DH sleeps elsewhere!)

We trusted that the co-sleeper was the very safest place for her.

She scoots even in her sleep, while swaddled, from a 1 o'clock position to at least 9 o'clock and sometimes even around to 8 or 7. How can I ever trust that she won't fall through again?????

I am so angry and I know it is the adrenaline but now I have to figure out an alternative sleeping arrangement. I guess it's time to build her crib and move her up there. And I know in light of Tracy's car accident today that this is not that big of a deal, but it scared the heck out of me (and dd).

If you use a Co-Sleeper and you have a squirmer - BEWARE!

----
eta: please be sure to read my subsequent post below...we were using the co-sleeper improperly.

ahrimie

12-30-2008, 05:12 PM

o my!! i would have been freaking out too.

at 5 months though, i think moving to a crib would be good. i don't have the cosleeper so i don't know how deep it is but we had to move our dd out of her bassinet around 3 months. she became too active, rolling over all the time, and by then she was starting to get too big anyway.

sounds like she's ready to move to a crib and stay in your room or her own.

WatchingThemGrow

12-30-2008, 05:21 PM

Wow. What is the recommended age for those things? We didn't get one so I'm not totally familiar with them. I'd be writing/call the company while setting up her crib. I think you'll find she'll do great moving to her own room for naps and bedtime, but you will probably stay awake the first night.

So sorry that happened! Scary, I'm sure!

KrisM

12-30-2008, 05:26 PM

Wow! How scary for you! I am glad to hear she is fine and I am sure you will be too.

amldaley

12-30-2008, 05:28 PM

She's under the age and weight limit. But DH just admitted to me that he left one part off the sleeper. He thought it was cosmetic. It's the liner that closes the gap between the sleeping surface and the sides.

I am so angry. He swore he tried it and it had shrunk in the wash and couldn't fit it on. I have asked about it ten times easily. Well, now that he sees how important that liner is, it magically fits. And now he says he feels like the worst father in the world. I think I'll let him sweat it out for a few minutes.

elektra

12-30-2008, 05:31 PM

OMG. I was thinking about getting one of those things too for DS on the way but WTF? I would call the company. That is so scary.

carolinamama

12-30-2008, 05:34 PM

I am so angry. He swore he tried it and it had shrunk in the wash and couldn't fit it on. I have asked about it ten times easily. Well, now that he sees how important that liner is, it magically fits. And now he says he feels like the worst father in the world. I think I'll let him sweat it out for a few minutes.

Wow. Glad she is okay. I think it is a guy thing (sometimes) because DH isn't quite as particular as I am about reading manuals and being downright anal about baby gear/carseats etc. I am sure your dh has learned his lesson and will never let that happen again though.

Mikey0709

12-30-2008, 05:38 PM

Wow - - how scary and I'm glad that everyone is OK. I would have been a MESS!!!! I was just reading this thinking though - how could that happen???...our cosleeper was impossible to get to the underneath without taking it apart? I thought it was extremely safe! Thanks for posting the follow up so i'm not scared to use ours again. I loved our co-sleeper and recommended it quite alot!

elektra

12-30-2008, 05:39 PM

Happy 2B mommy

12-30-2008, 05:40 PM

Oh, how scary for you and DD. As angry as you are with your DH (and I would be, too) he probably is feeling so awful and guilty right now. I bet this incident will make him follow directions COMPLETELY in the future.

srhs

12-30-2008, 05:43 PM

Whoa! My heart was pounding as I read your post!!! So glad DD recovered quickly...quicker than mom and dad, I am sure!

Is it the Arms Reach one you have?
At 6 mos, I was thinking of getting one for my guy and talked to an AR rep. They said it wouldn't be safe at that age because of the short walls. They said when baby looked over the edge, his heavy head could dump him over and out. I know that is not what you experienced, but at 5 mo, if baby is pushing up at all, something else to consider soon.

jgenie

12-30-2008, 05:44 PM

So sorry you had a scare - I'm glad she's fine. :hug:

happymomma

12-30-2008, 05:49 PM

Wow. I'm so sorry that you had a scare. At least she is okay and I'm sure your DH feels so bad about it.

shawnandangel

12-30-2008, 05:49 PM

Glad your DD is okay! I would be traumatized!

ThreeofUs

12-30-2008, 05:50 PM

O.M.G.

I am so happy to hear your DD is ok, and have to admit I'd be really freaked and angry with my DH if he ever pulled something like that. I'm not sure I'd even be able to be civil to him for a while.

amldaley

12-30-2008, 05:53 PM

BeachBum

12-30-2008, 06:52 PM

I'm glad to read your update. We just bought this co-sleeper for our twins. I was really concerned, but couldn't understand how it happened. DH and I went and checked ours out and were so confused. :)

I think it would be a good idea to update your original post with the new info. It really isn't the company's fault and many people wont read the whole thread to get your update.

I'm so glad your little one is safe. I can only imagine the panic you felt not seeing her in there!

MamaMolly

12-30-2008, 06:53 PM

Thanks, everyone :)

Yes, this is a good lesson for DH and I both. And now I want to have our carseat install professionally checked. Is it wrong that I don't trust him?

I got a lot of poo-pooing from DH and my mother in the early days and the construction of the co-sleeper and it's missing liner was one of the things they thought I was silly to worry about. He learned a lesson about thoroughness and safety and I learned a lesson in trusting my instinct to protect dd.

We had planned on moving DD to her crib at 6 mos. It is sitting in her room, half built. DH has totally secured the liner in the Arms Reach Co-Sleeper and inspected and tested it. As I don't have a crib mattress yet, she''ll be in the co-sleeper tonight and I'll pick up a mattress tomorrow.

I still feel like barfing from the adrenaline, but I know it could have been worse!

Thank goodness DD is ok. Believe me, just about every parent out there has had one of those moments where we didn't trust our Mama Bear instincts and later regretted it. Forgive yourself and forgive DH. He loves DD and he screwed up big-time, but he learned a very very hard lesson today.

Big, big, big hugs. And stink to your guns girl! You've got great instincts!!

Babywhite

12-30-2008, 06:58 PM

Just think what a GREAT job he will do on the crib now... :) :)

Hugs to you!

Babywhite

caheinz

12-30-2008, 07:27 PM

Yikes!

I'm pretty sure though that ours has IN BIG LETTERS warnings on at least the instructions, if not also the cosleeper, that you HAVE to use the liner with the cosleeper!

amldaley

12-30-2008, 07:39 PM

Yikes!

I'm pretty sure though that ours has IN BIG LETTERS warnings on at least the instructions, if not also the cosleeper, that you HAVE to use the liner with the cosleeper!

Yeah...and you'd think he would read those...

I had alot of complications w/ PG and had to deliver via c-section w/ a complicated recovery in ICU and at home after...so I relied on DH to get it set up. He's a Marine...in "Intelligence" no less...now he is second guessing himself on EVERYTHING. We are going to have the carseat checked on Friday.

I am struggling between never trusting him again and forgiving him. I think I might have to edit my response to the "Has you DH ever cried" thread...he is so upset that he is running around the house being super helpful.

Melbel

12-30-2008, 07:51 PM

We all make mistakes as parents. I am happy to hear that your DD is fine. It sounds like your DH is very sorry. Then again, I would be furious too....

ShanaMama

12-30-2008, 09:23 PM

Wow. Glad she is okay. I think it is a guy thing (sometimes) because DH isn't quite as particular as I am about reading manuals and being downright anal about baby gear/carseats etc. I am sure your dh has learned his lesson and will never let that happen again though.

DH has a favorite saying: When all else fails, read the directions.
He seriously thinks it's a game to try and put things together without the manual. Which leaves me in the position of the OP often.... and leaves us with many assembled things that are not quite right, like DD's doll stroller with reversed handles (they point toward you).

ShanaMama

12-30-2008, 09:30 PM

Yeah...and you'd think he would read those...

I had alot of complications w/ PG and had to deliver via c-section w/ a complicated recovery in ICU and at home after...so I relied on DH to get it set up. He's a Marine...in "Intelligence" no less...now he is second guessing himself on EVERYTHING. We are going to have the carseat checked on Friday.

I am struggling between never trusting him again and forgiving him. I think I might have to edit my response to the "Has you DH ever cried" thread...he is so upset that he is running around the house being super helpful.

I am relieved that DD is ok. I was holding my breath reading your OP! My DD2 is doing the same type of movements and fell off my bed the other day. I left her there to protect her from DD1 while I ran to the bathroom! Did not think she could swim all across the Queen bed.

Although you are seriously freaked out, I'd suggest being gentle with your DH. He is as frightened as you plus he has all the guilt. Expressing your doubts now could really hurt him when he is down. Can you try to focus on supporting him now and trying to draw closer while at the same time surrepticiously (sp?) double checking things if you feel you must? Maybe have the car seat double checked without his knowledge- for your own peace of mind?
My DH usually humors my obsession with safety but he doesn't truly feel it is necessary. I hope I am never proven right the way you were, but if something terrible happened as a result of his slacking I don't know how I'd handle it. I'd like to think I'd try to be somewhat understanding and forgiving because he would certainly have learned the necessary lesson. No need for me to rub it in, KWIM?

rgors

12-30-2008, 09:41 PM

For what it's worth, I think it's ALWAYS a good idea to have your carseat checked professionally. My DH and I are both meticulous instruction readers and engineers. We got an "it's ok, but not great" on our first carseat check (infant). We got a FAIL on our second carseat check (Britax BV). I would not be mad at your DH even if you DO fail your carseat check. The car seat techs have a lot of experience, and that can't be communicated in an instruction manual.

amldaley

12-30-2008, 09:42 PM

I am going easy on him, reassuring him that this was our chance to learn w/o it being harmful. I am not holding it over him (much). I have forgiven him, but I can not forget....I can't deal w/ the potential return to complacency.

He actually wants to get the carseat checked now, too. I have questioned the install from the beginning. The whole base moves around. Anyway, he is a man on a mission now and wants to see the fire dept check it to see what they do. He has Friday off from work.

I promise not to beat him up too much ;)

ShanaMama

12-30-2008, 09:49 PM

I can't deal w/ the potential return to complacency.

....

Anyway, he is a man on a mission now and wants to see the fire dept check it to see what they do. He has Friday off from work.

You know him better than I do, lol, so you'd know if return to complacency is something to expect. ;)
Just wanted to point out that the fire dept might not be the best place to get it checked out. Firemen have to be trained in so many other crucial things- proper carseat installation is just not very high on the list. Many of the posters on the carseat forum were given inaccuarate or at least not the best advice by firemen. Your best bet would be a certified CPS tech. Try asking on the carseat board how to find one.

amldaley

12-30-2008, 09:54 PM

You know him better than I do, lol, so you'd know if return to complacency is something to expect. ;)
Just wanted to point out that the fire dept might not be the best place to get it checked out. Firemen have to be trained in so many other crucial things- proper carseat installation is just not very high on the list. Many of the posters on the carseat forum were given inaccuarate or at least not the best advice by firemen. Your best bet would be a certified CPS tech. Try asking on the carseat board how to find one.

We have one fire dept in the next closest big town that has folks certified to check and they hold a carseat clinic weekdays from 5 to 6 pm just for this...but, now that you mention it...ii may seek a trained person as well.

jgenie

12-30-2008, 10:03 PM

Thanks, everyone :)

And now I want to have our carseat install professionally checked. Is it wrong that I don't trust him?

It's not an issue of trust so much as an issue of expertise IMHO. We run things by our doctors even though they may seem to be common sense - because we value their experiences. We had the car seat installation checked by professionals in both our cars. We were able to find a free clinic - spent an hour waiting, but found out there were minor corrections to be made in both cars.

amandabea

12-30-2008, 10:06 PM

So glad your DD is ok. Just want to remind you to trust your mommy gut when you have the carseat inspected - a lot of mommas on this board have gotten bad install advice such as turning it FF too early or that you must turn it at 1 year. Be sure you, or DH if he is taking it in, read your manual so the installer doesn't tell you something inaccurate. That said, we had our install checked at the police station without any problems.

Amanda

amldaley

12-30-2008, 10:10 PM

I just checked http://www.seatcheck.org/index.html and the fire dept that claims to be certified isn't on the list! So, we are both going, together, to Wilmington, 45 minutes away, to get it checked....and that was a great tip re: taking the manual...thanks!!!

MamaKath

12-30-2008, 10:59 PM

I am relieved that DD is ok. I was holding my breath reading your OP! My DD2 is doing the same type of movements and fell off my bed the other day. I left her there to protect her from DD1 while I ran to the bathroom! Did not think she could swim all across the Queen bed.

Although you are seriously freaked out, I'd suggest being gentle with your DH. He is as frightened as you plus he has all the guilt. Expressing your doubts now could really hurt him when he is down. Can you try to focus on supporting him now and trying to draw closer while at the same time surrepticiously (sp?) double checking things if you feel you must? Maybe have the car seat double checked without his knowledge- for your own peace of mind?
My DH usually humors my obsession with safety but he doesn't truly feel it is necessary. I hope I am never proven right the way you were, but if something terrible happened as a result of his slacking I don't know how I'd handle it. I'd like to think I'd try to be somewhat understanding and forgiving because he would certainly have learned the necessary lesson. No need for me to rub it in, KWIM?

ITA! Every parent is going to make mistakes. I am glad your dd is okay!