maybe more productive than bitching- how do you stop kids from yelling at each other? [Archive]

View Full Version : maybe more productive than bitching- how do you stop kids from yelling at each other?

lizajane

12-30-2008, 06:04 PM

DS1 and DS2 YELL constantly ALL DAY these days.

how do you stop the yelling between siblings???

playful parenting ideas would be great because DS2 is the biggest culprit lately and he is the most stubborn child EVER and discipline tends to make him yell more and louder because he is upset and trying to get out of trouble.

adding a few more remarks to clarify...

ok, so schuyler is really smart and also certain that he knows everything. he is also obsessive and CAN NOT LET THINGS GO. so when dylan says something silly that 3 year olds say, schuyler corrects him. we have long talks about how dylan is 3 and doesn't know everything schuyler knows and schuyler can be the big brother and help him LEARN but it is better to be a FRIEND than to be RIGHT. so what happens is, dylan says something, schuyler interupts to correct him, yelling so he can talk on top of him, dylan yells LOUDER to tell schuyler that HE is wrong... etc.

it isn't even fighting really. there is correcting. and often, dylan is telling schuyler to STOP doing something (like rough play.) but with schuyler's ADHD tendancies, it is REALLY hard to stop the freight train once it gets rolling.

sigh. frankly, as i type, i just see more and more evidence that i need to try medication for schuyler. dylan does what schuyler does, as the little brother. and when schuyler is ADHD out of control wild climbing chaos, dylan doesn't know that he shouldn't act the same way, as that is what normal is to dylan in our house. (schuyler out of control, i mean.)

(i politely say no thank you to suggestions on dealing with ADHD without meds. we have a unique situation with the OCD combination and we have been working with a psychologist for 6 months so we are aware of our options.)

Ceepa

12-30-2008, 06:09 PM

If it's just yelling because of general frustration/boredom sometimes the only thing to break the cycle is to redirect them to some activity.

Wife_and_mommy

12-30-2008, 10:10 PM

One concept that transformed our house this fall was instituting that our family was a team. We were having a lot of sibling issues that are practically nil now. Treating our teammates with kindness is just the reality now so we nurture it in each DC. It's been really cool to watch them be happy for each other instead of clawing for selfishness--truly heartwarming.

Hugs to you. It's maddening but can be turned around!

MamaKath

12-30-2008, 10:54 PM

Is it worse when they are home on holiday breaks? I find my kids have to readjust to being siblings of different ages after spending time in the same age type of school they are in most times. We also do a lot of "you are brother and sister for life, that means you need to treat each other well- with love and respect." We also talk about being a team which doesn't always work because we are often on travel during those breaks and dh is not along for the most part. We also try to do things together (board games, activities, day trips, art projects, etc) which helps them learn about each other in a different light. I hope it gets better quickly!

jacksmomtobe

12-31-2008, 09:26 AM

I will love to hear the suggestions people have because though dd & ds get along fairly well there is a lot of screaming back & forth at times and it drives me nuts. I dread vacation time. We've also already been dealing with snow in New England & some cold weather making it hard to get outside to release extra energy. So no tips from me but I feel your pain!!!

Pennylane

12-31-2008, 10:15 AM

When my three start yelling or get way out of control, I just separate them. Each one has to go to their own room for awhile. Usually after they have had a break from one another, things calm down!

Ann

lizajane

12-31-2008, 11:13 AM

g-mama

12-31-2008, 11:19 AM

mine share a room. :(

You know what's funny, Liza, is that we just (as in last weekend) moved our two (8 and 5) into the same room - not out of necessity, but because they want to. It's like they have a love/hate relationship. They fight all the time, yet they can't get enough of each other. Dh says that they're like battered wives who keep going back to their abuser because it's what they know.

They do bicker all day long. Then at night, after we tuck them in, they lay there and chat and giggle. I figure it's at least good for some positive bonding time, right? Or at least just a way to avoid going to sleep - LOL.