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View Full Version : Going from 2 to 3?



hillview
01-02-2009, 12:59 PM
Anyone care to share what it was like?
TIA!
/hillary

AngelaS
01-02-2009, 01:09 PM
Congratulations?? :)

I thought going from 2 to 3 was the easiest transition. We knew what we were doing, I knew what to expect w/a newborn and it wasn't bad at all.

Until she got colic. ;)

SASM
01-02-2009, 01:28 PM
Going from 1 to 2 was cake for me. I was a little more scared of going from 2 to 3 (4.5, 2.5, and nb) b/c I was going to be quite outnumbered when solo. I will say, though, once we had #3, I was fine. DH was off for a week and that really helped. We are an "out and about" kind of family ~ we do not stay hunkered down for 2-4 weeks post-partum. We get out and do things. I have worn DC#2 and DC#3 and we've had the e3 so the babies have always been "protected" from leaning, gawking admirers (we've nad 2 winter and 1 autumn baby). Sorry...tangent...just wanted you to know that we were attacking our daily schedule with "3 in tow" pretty early on and were fine.

We have always tried to set aside time for each child. And, if we cannot that day, then we make extra time at the end of the day for more cuddling and stories. For us, it is all about planning and making sure that each child is active, doing something that they enjoy (extracurricular activity), so that they can still have their own time to grow and develop into their own. Does that make sense?

As for early on and "surviving", you will. :) Once DD2 was here, things just clicked and fell into place. DS and DD1 just embraced her from Day1 and they've all opretty much gotten along ever since...all that WILL change and we will adjust when that time comes!). Ohhh...we had a 3BR TH and moved into a 3BR house. It still works with three kids and 2 sharing. :) It CAN be done. :)

And...if you do not already have a minivan...try to get one!! :) We had an SUV w/o a third row and it was rough with a Marathon, booster and SnugRide. It would have been impossible to fit 2 marathons (FF and RF) and a booster in the back. Getting the MV was LIFE-CHANGING!! :)

ETA: Check in the archives...there have been several threads on this topic in the last year. Maybe those responses will help as well. :)

elaineandmichaelsmommy
01-02-2009, 01:31 PM
Is there something you'd like to share with the class hillary?

caleymama
01-02-2009, 01:40 PM
Is there something you'd like to share with the class hillary?
I was wondering the same thing! :p

ETA: Hillary, I just noticed you are 1 post away from 2000!

KrisM
01-02-2009, 01:48 PM
I think going 2 to 3 was much easier than 1 to 2. He just sort of blended in and it was easy. Granted, he's only 5.5 months, but it's been easy.

The hardest parts are the keeping up with even more laundry, getting all 3 bundled to go into a grocery store and things like that. The grocery will get easier as DS1 goes to school more and when the weather is better.

Momof3Labs
01-02-2009, 01:52 PM
No advice yet, except you can weigh the merits of 2 vs. 3 forever, then find out that you are going from 2 to 4!! Ah, the best laid plans...

WatchingThemGrow
01-02-2009, 01:59 PM
Interesting question! :wink2: I want to know also! Sounds like the first few replies are promising. I've been scared to ask since one of my long time friends said, "I'll be honest. The 3rd one kicked out butts!" Maybe she was just looking for something cute to say :)

I'm not nearly as scared as I was with #1 for the reasons PP mentioned...you already know what you're doing, and you've perfected your methods with #2, learned alternative strategies and have support here. A friend w/a 3rd about the same ages as yours says the school/preschool dropoff/pickups (a decent drive for her) have been the trickiest part as far as nursing goes.

We're trying to avoid the added expense of a van for the first year at least by using our Radian between the MA and SR, then between the 2 RF MAs. We love our CR-V.

saschalicks
01-02-2009, 02:04 PM
Somehow I'm not freaked out, but I have been told 2 to 3 was horrible. I don't know I just feel like if we have 2 what's 1 more? I think I'm living in denial. :ROTFLMAO:

spanannie
01-02-2009, 02:47 PM
It is definitely not just adding another child as a lot of people say. It adds an exponential amont of work and my DC 3 is the world's easiest baby. It's not that the 3 children are difficult, it's managing the schedules and getting everyone everywhere on time and managing everything that needs to be done and still getting some sleep. I wouldn't change having DC3 for anything, but life was MUCH easier with 2 kids.

ETA I do agree with KrisM that going from 2 to 3 was less of a shocker than 1 to 2. I have been much more able to manage 2 to 3 and it was less earth shattering. The work load is just a lot more with 3 and A LOT more tiring!

buddyleebaby
01-02-2009, 03:07 PM
I really think it depends on the baby.
DC2 was so fussy, the first few months were really hard. I was prepared to have a ard time with DC3 and so far, knock on wood, it's been really, really easy. Just like it was before except with a super cuddly baby in my arms.

Ask me again when he's mobile.

pinkmomagain
01-02-2009, 03:08 PM
I think it really depends on the ages of 1 & 2 and the age spreads. As you can tell from my sig, there is quite a spread for #3. For us, she was quite a pleasant surprise and I'm really enjoying three, but do not know if I would have said the same if she was born closer to #2. I think I would have been more overwhelmed.

mamicka
01-02-2009, 03:09 PM
I think that it just depends on the family. For us, going from 0-1 & 1-2 were both huge transitions. I had some mild PPD after each one (which I didn't really realize until later) which made it more difficult. Going from 2-3 was a piece of cake in comparison. DS3 just kind of fit in to our lives like he had always been there. Sure, there was the newborn adjustment & a new family member, but the big life-upheaval wasn't there. From everyone I know IRL who has gone through this, if you've mastered having 2, then 3 just falls into place. Of course that's a big generalization that may not be true overall.

ast96
01-02-2009, 04:37 PM
0-1 was my hardest transition. 1-2 was hard because my first was only 21 months old. 2-3 was by far my easiest transition and has exponentially increased my enjoyment of my children. I do think it depends on your personality and your children, but having the third baby was the best thing I ever did.

Octobermommy
01-02-2009, 05:02 PM
0-1 was my hardest transition. 1-2 was hard because my first was only 21 months old. 2-3 was by far my easiest transition and has exponentially increased my enjoyment of my children. I do think it depends on your personality and your children, but having the third baby was the best thing I ever did.

That is good to know. 1-2 was really hard for me but that had a lot to do with my ds personality ( crying all the time). I am on the fence about number 3.

o_mom
01-02-2009, 05:32 PM
Something you would like to share with the class? ;)

Two to three wasn't bad in the beginning. Newborns sleep a bunch. I didn't have anyone in preschool, so we just hung out at home quite a bit. Around 6-7 months Ds3 stopped sleeping well and the sleep deprivation combined with school schedules and the three year old antics about put me over the edge. Now that he is sleeping more and more able to interact with the older kids it has gotten better. Of couse, some of it was also our personal situation at the time - moving, death in the family, etc.

I will say, that three across in a sedan is a sanity killer. My van is in the shop and we are driving the three in DH's car this week. The baby kicks the other two and they either cry loudly about it or retaliate... separation is key. :)

jerseygirl07067
01-02-2009, 05:52 PM
This is an interesing thread...I'm glad you posted this. I'm curious too, as I'm going from 2-3 also. (Are congrats in order? - it so congratulations!)

My issue is that my first two are only 16 months apart, and in some ways it was easy because I was still in "baby mode". This one is spaced out a bit more, so I feel like I'm really starting over with the whole sleeping issue, feeding, etc. But it's not even close to starting over the way some people have an 8 or 10 year old then have another baby. Kudos to all of you!

We'll see how it goes!

Marcy

Samantha 12/22/03
Julia 4/19/05
baby #3 EDD 6/3/09

ast96
01-02-2009, 07:25 PM
Jerseygirl said, "My issue is that my first two are only 16 months apart, and in some ways it was easy because I was still in "baby mode". This one is spaced out a bit more, so I feel like I'm really starting over with the whole sleeping issue, feeding, etc. But it's not even close to starting over the way some people have an 8 or 10 year old then have another baby. Kudos to all of you!"

Jerseygirl, my first two were 21 months apart, and I didn't really get to enjoy their babyhoods -- I was either pregnant or juggling two babies, esssentially. I have really reveled in every moment of babyhood with #3. He is a total joy, and my other kids are old enough to enjoy him as a baby too. AS my husband says, he is the one thing we can all agree on -- we all love the baby!

I debated forever because I was SO in over my head with my first two. I am so, so grateful I took the leap of faith. He didn't push us over the edge as we had feared he would -- he glued us back together.

KrisM
01-02-2009, 08:16 PM
I will say, that three across in a sedan is a sanity killer. My van is in the shop and we are driving the three in DH's car this week. The baby kicks the other two and they either cry loudly about it or retaliate... separation is key. :)

Mine are all a bit younger than yours, but we are in a sedan every day. I did just put the baby in the middle to make winter climbing in faster and to help with the fighting, but really, the fighting had gotten a lot better lately as I think they're just adjusting to being close.

DS1 is a huge help with DS2 in the car - giving a pacifier, singing, etc. Love that.

That said, we will be doing the mini-van thing in the future, I am sure. I'm hoping for 2-3 more years out of my car though.

g-mama
01-02-2009, 08:40 PM
For me, going from 2-3 was pretty easy....until the baby turned 1. Once he started walking and getting into the other two's stuff, life got much more complicated. I honestly think that 3 kids is way more than 2, more than just 1 more. When I have two kids at home, I feel like I'm on vacation. It seems like an easier dynamic and we don't have the 'triangle' thing going on - where one always seems to be left out. I can juggle the needs of two kids a lot easier than I can three. It's so hard to sit and work with my oldest ds on his homework when the younger two are fighting, both with each other and for my attention. No longer can dh take one and I take the other - if we need to split up, one of us has to take two. If I had it in me to have a fourth child, I would do it in order to have an even number of kids again. I have two good friends who are middle children and they both are adamant about having either 2 or 4 kids, but not 3. I never really understood why until I had 3.

When it is just me and the kids (which is most of the time since I'm a SAHM), I often feel somewhat overwhelmed to take all of them out. The pool makes me a little nervous. An amusement park? No way. But most of my friends have two kids and it's a breeze for them.

I'm reading this and I know it sounds negative. This is just what I would tell someone who I knew who was contemplating a third because it's my honest answer. I adore having three kids and honestly, despite all that I just said, I feel like two kids would not have been enough for our family.

jerseygirl07067
01-02-2009, 09:28 PM
Allison, (ast96) that is an interesting perspective and good point. I can see that my two actually have a clue that I'm expecting, and kiss my belly and do the cutest things. Whereas Sammy was only 16 months when Julia was born, and honestly she totally didn't get what was going on.

So yes, I can see that my two will appreciate another baby and understand the whole thing this time. Thanks for reminding me of that, since I've been more worried about the starting over thing. :) I have to keep things in perspective!

Marcy

Samantha 12/22/03
Julia 4/19/05
baby #3 EDD 6/3/09

o_mom
01-02-2009, 10:30 PM
Mine are all a bit younger than yours, but we are in a sedan every day. I did just put the baby in the middle to make winter climbing in faster and to help with the fighting, but really, the fighting had gotten a lot better lately as I think they're just adjusting to being close.


Yes, this time has been much worse. I have had them in there before without too much trouble, but I think it is DS3's newly discovered talent for irritating his brothers that pushed them over the edge. He puts his foot on DS2's seat just to get a reaction, etc.

SpaceGal
01-03-2009, 02:53 AM
Oh boy interesting thread indeed. We have DC #3 on the way in about a month...scary prospect for me at times.

Mine are spaced 2 years apart...
DS #1 2/2005
DS #2 3/2007

DD due...2/2009

I wonder how the dynamics will be. DS #1 is in 1/2 day 3 days a week preschool right now...and I know just juggling OB visits and his schedule is challenging. Hopefully it gets better once we find our groove and baby is here and I'm not running to the doctor every week.

I do also wonder if gender plays a role in the dynamics of it all.

Oh and if congratulations are due...CONGRATULATIONS!

Wife_and_mommy
01-03-2009, 10:11 AM
Just wanted to say thanks for this thread and congratulations if they're due. ;)

My two are 22 months apart and really fun now but #2's first two years about killed me. DH and I are sure we want at least one more kiddo but have been very afraid(me more than DH) of the added chaos.

I've always said I wouldn't consider getting pg until #2 was 3.5. That will happen this summer so we'll see what's in store for us.

lizajane
01-03-2009, 12:40 PM
.

I've always said I wouldn't consider getting pg until #2 was 3.5. That will happen this summer so we'll see what's in store for us.

sigh. my number 2 will be 4 on the 26th. hence the vasectomy yesterday. it makes me sad to read this thread, as i will never have a bio #3. but also hopeful that i could bring a child into our family without giving birth.

hillview
01-03-2009, 09:15 PM
Thanks all. Just wondering -- no congrats!
/hillary