I bow at the feet of

[amandabea]

all of the SAHMs and SAHDs out there :bowdown:

I have been off work since 12/24 and my DD has been home with me. I'm embarrassed to say that I'm going insane and I need a vacation. This may sound really stupid, but I'm serious -- I just don't know how to pass the time. We've played, we've sung, we've watched Dora (probably a bit too much), we've gone shopping, we've gone to the zoo (exhausting), we've met daddy/DH for lunch.

How do you pass the time with your DC (maybe that's not the best way to put it, but hopefully YKWIM)? And how do you manage to get "things" done with the DC around all day?

Of course it goes without saying that I love my DD to pieces, but I can't wait until Monday!

[DrSally]

How old is your DC? I found that once DS went down to 1 nap a day, it was a lot of fun to go to the park, zoo, playdates, library classes, etc. without having to worry about getting him back. Basically, we'd do something fun 4 days a week and then errands/shopping 1 day a week. DS loves to hang out with mom. You have to think of things to keep active b/c they days can get long otherwise. To add to that, DH is usually out of town during the week, so it's just us in the evenings too! It gets harder when you add a baby to the mix. Just take her with wherever you have to go. I know it's harder in the winter. What about hosting playdates?

ETA: Oh, and I usually don't try to get too much done when the kids are awake. It causes too much stress for me, so I try to focus on them while they're awake and get other things done during naps or after bedtime. That leaves a lot of things undone, but that's what helps me "stay sane"

[momof2girls]

When my kids were under 2yo, it was very hard to get anything done. I went through many days reflecting on how nothing was accomplished all day. Bordem, especially in the winter, is also a big one, though since DD#2 was born it has been MUCH easier since they have each other. Of course, it also helps that they are almost 6 yo and 3 yo now. I guess you just get used to it as a way of life to try to find things to do while also trying to find time to do household chores. Evey SAHM I know has gone through the same thing and then before you know it, they grow up a bit and it is that much easier when they can entertain themselves for a short while.

[srhs]

Well I get absolutely nothing done! But I also bow down to WOHMs who manage to get kids and self dressed, fed, and out the door every morning! HOW do you do that? I spend all day trying to get us to the grocery store.

[lizajane]

well... preschool for one thing. my DS1 is really challenging and i am really kicking myself for not putting him in preschool 5 mornings/week before he was 4. dylan goes all 5 mornings and my life is way more sane. and it is only a few hours, 9-12:30. and schuyler goes to school.

before schuyler was in school and they went to preschool 5 mornings, i could ONLY do things during naptime. and schuyler didn't nap after about 20 months. so i just gave schuyler attention during dylan's nap. and went out other times. lots of park, pool and friends' houses. my kids are NOT fun at the library. NOT FUN.

to be honest, with my specific situation with a hyperactive child who talks incessantly and constantly asks questions, has zero patience and has panic attack style fits, it would be easier for me to work outside the home. my house is a disaster because we are in it. if i try to do one thing, the kids destroy something else. things are dramtically different with my challenging child out of the house for 8 hours/day. i can't imagine what it would be like to have BOTH of them out of the house for that long and have the extra income to hire a housecleaner.

that does NOT mean i don't have great respect for those who WOH and for the challenges of getting everyone ready in the morning, rushing through evening, missing their kiddos during the day, trying to make mom friends on weekends only AND accomplish daily tasks like laundry, grocery shopping and taking the kids to get new shoes. really!! i am sure that it is WAY hard. but in my one little special circumstance, it might help me be a little less crazy to separate my family from my household for most of the day.

[lizajane]

Well I get absolutely nothing done! But I also bow down to WOHMs who manage to get kids and self dressed, fed, and out the door every morning! HOW do you do that? I spend all day trying to get us to the grocery store.

yes, that. it just took me longer to say it! if it takes me 45 minutes to get out the door to buy groceries in sweatpants, how do you do make up, hair, business attire, AND a kid or two or three all by 8am?

[Cam&Clay]

if it takes me 45 minutes to get out the door to buy groceries in sweatpants, how do you do make up, hair, business attire, AND a kid or two or three all by 8am?

As a mom who works full-time outside the home, I will tell you that it takes a very strict schedule and more than a little bit of yelling at the older child! Of course, my DH isn't with us during the week, so I do it alone. And the kids go to different sitters and I commute 45 minutes, but you do what you've got to do!

I have been off this past week, too, and have felt at a loss to pass the time a few times, but I have discovered that napping is a wonderful thing!

[KrisM]

I think that since I'm a SAHM, the kids are just used to me and I'm used to them, so they don't expect me to play with them or entertain them. I still don't get a lot done around the house, but I do clean the downstairs while they're doing breakfast, playing, etc. The older 2 play very well on their own now, which helps. I think if I was a WOHM and just home for a while on vacation, both they and I would feel like I had to play with and entertain them at all times trying to make the most of our time together. Does that makes sense?

And, I'm in the camp of those not imagining how I could ever get them all out of the house in the morning. Just too hard. I am so glad DS1's preschool is afternoons because I can not imagine everyone leaving on time for a 9am start and it's only 8 minutes away!

[trales]

I think it is easier to do if it what you do all the time. As a (mostly )SAHM, I have activities and a schedule all week. We have something, swimming, gym, library, music, playgroups ect. every day. I could not imagine how hard it would be to have a break from work and not have all those resources and routines in place. DH has been home all week and she won't let him do anything, whereas I can cook dinner ect b/c it is what we always do and my being home is not a novelty.

On the two days a week that I work in the morning, it takes so long to get out the door and get everything ready for the sitter. I really bow down to those who can do it early in the morning and still keep the house up.

WOHM, SAHM, or dad or mix of the above are hard, there is no easy way, routine is easier, when you have to make the shift from one to the other, that makes things complicated.

[amandabea]

I think it is easier to do if it what you do all the time. As a (mostly )SAHM, I have activities and a schedule all week. We have something, swimming, gym, library, music, playgroups ect. every day. I could not imagine how hard it would be to have a break from work and not have all those resources and routines in place. DH has been home all week and she won't let him do anything, whereas I can cook dinner ect b/c it is what we always do and my being home is not a novelty.

On the two days a week that I work in the morning, it takes so long to get out the door and get everything ready for the sitter. I really bow down to those who can do it early in the morning and still keep the house up.

WOHM, SAHM, or dad or mix of the above are hard, there is no easy way, routine is easier, when you have to make the shift from one to the other, that makes things complicated.

You know I hadn't thought of it that way until your post, but it is so true. We have our weekday and weekend routines down pat, but this week of being home just threw me for a loop and I'm truly beat. I should have come here to seek advice BEFORE the week at home actually came, then I could have been better prepared with activities.

Thanks for putting in perspective!

[amandabea]

Well I get absolutely nothing done! But I also bow down to WOHMs who manage to get kids and self dressed, fed, and out the door every morning! HOW do you do that? I spend all day trying to get us to the grocery store.

Thanks, I needed that after this week.

My DH (who typically does the majority of the household chores) was really bugging me this week about not getting some things done around the house. I yelled at him about trying to get things done with DD always under foot (even though he only works on average 18 hours/week DD is in FT daycare -- but that's for the Bitching post).

Of course, I'm also a HUGE procrastinator, so what did I do today when she took her 2-hour nap?! Oh, that would be sat on the couch, had two cups of coffee, and surfed the internet, but I'm not going to feel guilty because this is my week off from work after all.

[amandabea]

How old is your DC? I found that once DS went down to 1 nap a day, it was a lot of fun to go to the park, zoo, playdates, library classes, etc. without having to worry about getting him back. Basically, we'd do something fun 4 days a week and then errands/shopping 1 day a week. DS loves to hang out with mom. You have to think of things to keep active b/c they days can get long otherwise. To add to that, DH is usually out of town during the week, so it's just us in the evenings too! It gets harder when you add a baby to the mix. Just take her with wherever you have to go. I know it's harder in the winter. What about hosting playdates?

ETA: Oh, and I usually don't try to get too much done when the kids are awake. It causes too much stress for me, so I try to focus on them while they're awake and get other things done during naps or after bedtime. That leaves a lot of things undone, but that's what helps me "stay sane"

Next year when I have this week off, I'm going to contact you to help me plan my week! You sound both fun and productive!!

I'd love to host a playdate...but I don't have any local mom friends. That said, from all the replies to Melissa's (Bubbaray's) post maybe when DD is a little older that'll be doable.

Off to play ring-around-the-rosey (or is it rosie?)

[StantonHyde]

I was just coming here to post that I am truly an amateur SAHM and I am in awe of you professionals!!! Today was the first moment in 2 weeks that I was in my house all ALONE. OMG. I thought I went to heaven. The quiet. The peace. It was like a vacation.

I have worked 2 days each week over the last 2 weeks and it is so totally a break for me. I love work. (there wasn't much going on so very low key) Keeping kiddos entertained and not killing each other is WORK.

As for getting out the door--I am lucky. I leave the house by about 8:30 so it really is not bad. But I do have to do it myself. It isn't always pretty, I will tell you that!!!

[Octobermommy]

Okay, so "things" around here don't happen as often as they should :innocent:. We have fun but it is exhausting. During the weekends dh does a lot with the kids and often asks how I do it. Our ds is especially needy/cranky.

[toothfairy]

Amanda, our DD's are the same age, I too just have the one, and really it's all about what you and your child are used to on a day-in day-out basis. I SAH and we have days when we don't have anywhere planned to go or any particular activity to do and DD and I go stir crazy! Mostly though, we have our routine, I do some chores and keep her involved in whatever I must get done. She no longer naps--whoa that was a major adjustment--but we've made it work with our day.

You rock! Welcome back Monday.

Amy

[Puddy73]

As a mom who works full-time outside the home, I will tell you that it takes a very strict schedule and more than a little bit of yelling at the older child! Of course, my DH isn't with us during the week, so I do it alone. And the kids go to different sitters and I commute 45 minutes, but you do what you've got to do!



Yeah that! With two DC, I managed to get out the door in a pressed business suit with straightened hair for me and hair bows for DD by 7:40 every day with little or no help from DH (he is NOT a morning person). After dropping them off I have a half hour commute on busy interstates. I'm DREADING the whole routine with a baby added to the mix. The added time of getting the baby, bottles and pump ready every morning means that something has to change. I can't give up what little sleep I have, so I'll just need to convince my firm that frizzy hair and sweats are the new business casual. The morning routine is the most exhausting part of my day - I get to work, drink a cup of coffee and breathe a sigh of relief.

I also want to send a big kudos to SAHMs - entertaining DC all day, every day is a tough job!!!

[Melaine]

Yikes, I often wonder how stressful it would be trying to herd everyone out the door in the morning, off to work, daycare, school or whatever....
then again, it is a different kind of stressful facing a day knowing that you have no escape from your own children!
So we are all pretty awesome I guess:22:

The only way I survive staying at home is getting out often and having people over at the house, too. Seriously, this week we were without a car and it was like sloooooow torture waiting for DH to come home each day....

[elektra]

all of the SAHMs and SAHDs out there :bowdown:


I hear ya! I feel like this too. Staying home with DD when I am off is 10x more exhausting than working at my job I get paid for. I feel like I am the most unexciting, unenriching, inefficient mom on those days! I do think that the routine does play a big part. I know that SIL does Farmers Market on one day, library the next, etc. and she really enjoys it.

[KrisM]

Seriously, this week we were without a car and it was like sloooooow torture waiting for DH to come home each day....

We'd go nuts. I think the worse thing is when a kid is sick and we're all stuck at home. Not fun.

[DrSally]

Next year when I have this week off, I'm going to contact you to help me plan my week! You sound both fun and productive!!


Ha! Thanks, usually I feel tired and totally unorganized! I have to say things have changed since DD was born and we don't get out as much. FWIW, other teachers I know (I assume you're a teacher) find the first few weeks of summer a huge adjustment. Like pp's said, it's getting used to a different schedule and routine that makes it hard.

[ChefGirl]

As a mom who works full-time outside the home, I will tell you that it takes a very strict schedule and more than a little bit of yelling at the older child! Of course, my DH isn't with us during the week, so I do it alone. And the kids go to different sitters and I commute 45 minutes, but you do what you've got to do!

I have been off this past week, too, and have felt at a loss to pass the time a few times, but I have discovered that napping is a wonderful thing!
I echo what Susan said above. As a full time Mom, strict schedule/routine and some yelling in the morning does the trick. I have 3 kids who go to three different places. I take the baby to the sitter every morning at 6:45 and then track back to work by 7:30. DH takes the other two kids and get them fed (of course I prepare the breakfast and lay everything out for them; I lay out the clothes / uniform the night before) and out the door by 7:30 the latest to get into DS' carpool lane for kindergarten, and then drops off DD at her Montessori school/day care. Then I do it all over again to pick up the baby and then track back to get DD, and DH gets DS and we all try to be home by 6:00. Sometimes I'm home alone with 3 kids at dinner time if DH is busy with work. The question of the day everyday is "what's for dinner".

I've been home since December 17 with all of my kids. Let's just say I am very much looking forward to our routine and my work on Monday. The kids, on the other hand, will have a hard time getting up and getting ready for school. It'll take them a couple of days to get into the groove again.

[vludmilla]

yes, that. it just took me longer to say it! if it takes me 45 minutes to get out the door to buy groceries in sweatpants, how do you do make up, hair, business attire, AND a kid or two or three all by 8am?


Well, in my case, I get up at 5:30 and DD wakes up by 7am. We are out the door by 7:20. I'll grant you that she is a very cooperative little girl but it is still something of a rush. I guess, like you, there are just things that I "let go". Sometimes I don't have nice "professional" hair (I mean it's still damp when I leave) or other times I'm putting on blush and lip gloss at a stop light.

[amandabea]

FWIW, other teachers I know (I assume you're a teacher) find the first few weeks of summer a huge adjustment. Like pp's said, it's getting used to a different schedule and routine that makes it hard.
Not a teacher, but I am lucky enough to get the week off between Christmas and New Years.

[bubbaray]

I can't give up what little sleep I have, so I'll just need to convince my firm that frizzy hair and sweats are the new business casual.

LOL. You just described me.

I've been sick most of this "vacation", so its been a blur. DH had some time off too.