Regarding sexual relations...

[Corie]

What is the longest that you and DH have gone without
making whoopee?




(Oh, no, she didn't.)

[srhs]

Perhaps an anonymous poll is in order?

[vludmilla]

Maybe a month when I wasn't pregnant, longer in the 3rd trimester. I'm sure it felt like several months to the poor man.

[lizajane]

1) the boards are awesome tonight.
2) well, this summer, i had some "family drama trauma" and it might have been 2 months or more.
ETA: this story is long and painful and not about me or DH directly, but i am still not going to share it.
(before we were married, we took a 5 month hiatus before our wedding. does that count, too?)

[fortato]

A month.

And if we don't leave his parent's house, it will be another month.

[lizajane]

Perhaps an anonymous poll is in order?

chicken.

(is there a chicken smilie? that would be SO funny.)

[Corie]

Perhaps an anonymous poll is in order?


We won't tell anyone.

[Clarity]

Oh geez...please don't tell dh I admitted this to anyone...but probably about 4 months - maybe even 5. *sigh* I was about 9 weeks post partum and I'm thinking we didn't the last month or two that I was pregnant. I lost my libido somewhere along the way and truthfully had the darndest time finding it again. I've also had some post-partum *issues* that left me less than interested in sex. Poor man. He was so patient.
Do I win?

[srhs]

chicken.

(is there a chicken smilie? that would be SO funny.)

I need a he-he-he-don't-wake-the-sleeping-baby-or-DH-stifling-your-laughter smiley. :hysterical:

I was looking out for the OTHERS, the lurkers, ya know...those who fear their IRL people will hunt them down on the BBB...but who really want to participate.

[Emmas Mom]

We won't tell anyone.

:hysterical: Too funny. I'd say six weeks....after DD#2 was born.

[kijip]

While we did not go without sexual activity, we went without intercourse for most of the time I was pregnant with T and for nearly 6 months afterwards. Thankfully whatever wrecked my ability to have sex while I was pregnant with T did not resurface with this baby. :love-retry: As for post birth, I can't say what will unfold yet.

[bigsis]

We've gone about 5 months. It was when I was first pg with #1. DH was so paranoid about the baby. Then when I went back for the green light when I was 6 weeks post-partum, I tore so I had to wait 2 more weeks. DH just about fainted. Of course, even at 8wks PP, I was *scared* to do it.

[lilycat88]

Nearly my entire pregnancy and for a couple of months after. I was on complete "pelvic rest" as the docs so tastefully called it.

[trentsmom]

I think it was for a couple of months after DS was born. I wasn't looking forward to resuming intercourse because I knew it would hurt. But I also knew that it would get better. :wink2: Poor DH. I just gritted my teeth and told him to get it over with!

[elektra]

Unfortunately for me I think I have everyone beat so far for the longest without.

[amldaley]

Well, technically 6+ months - when has been deployed.

But when we have actually been living together? 15 weeks - the last 4 weeks of PG and then 11 weeks PP.

[AngelaS]

4 weeks post partum. :)

[farsk]

From the time Ellen was conceived until he left when she was 17 months old, we had sex exactly five times. Five times in 26 months. What is that? Roughly once every five months? I don't remember, but my sex life with my ex was always incredibly infrequent, a fact that I unfortunately thought was "normal" until I got divorced.

Now with SO, after three days I start getting "the itch". I think the longest it has ever been for us has been a week, due to illness.

I guess the question is - why are you asking? Do you feel like something is wrong in your relationship or are you trying to get a gauge of "normal"?

[SnuggleBuggles]

4w pp after ds1.

Beth

[mommylamb]

Right after I gave birth to DS was probably the longest. My midwife said to wait at least 6 weeks, which we did, then tried, and it still hurt like a mother F*&^er. So we waited a little longer.

[Sugar Magnolia]

4 weeks pp.

[Momof3Labs]

Probably about 6 weeks or so due to non-pregnancy related reasons. Right now, we're going on 7 weeks, and it will probably be a lot longer as the docs want me to keep things pretty low-key. Hopefully we'll fit something in somewhere along the line because sex while pg with the first two was incredible (once you get around the physical limitations)!!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I guess the question is - why are you asking? Do you feel like something is wrong in your relationship or are you trying to get a gauge of "normal"?

I think Corie just enjoys livening things up here with the occasional naughty thread. :)

Beth

[tylersmama]

Unfortunately for me I think I have everyone beat so far for the longest without.I doubt it. I'm up over a year and a half and still counting. Of course, we were separated most of that time, but we haven't made an attempt yet since he's been back thanks to multiple issues I don't really want to get into. :rolleye0014:

[thomma]

Let's just say I had a high risk twin pregnancy after multiple miscarriages...no stimulation allowed and mandatory pelvic rest.

Kim
ds&dd 5/03

[Melaine]

I was on pelvic rest too from week 21 through delivery....then a couple months pp before we got to it. Then again, we were both Vs on our wedding night so I guess you could count the three years we were together before then as abstaining.

[Pennylane]

What is the longest that you and DH have gone without
making whoopee?




(Oh, no, she didn't.)

4 months and it was before we were married. We had just moved to a new state and both started new jobs, super stressed out! Since then, 6 week after having my DC,

Why has everyone told but you Corie, lol!

Ann

[lizajane]

Right after I gave birth to DS was probably the longest. My midwife said to wait at least 6 weeks, which we did, then tried, and it still hurt like a mother F*&^er . So we waited a little longer.

i forgot this part. and hurt like a mother F*&^er is DARN RIGHT. so it was at least 3 months after schuyler. 9.5 lbs first baby... that's tear ya up...

[GlindaGoodWitch]

Ok are we talking "doing it" doing it or "doing it so fast before one of the kids wakes up that you're not entirely sure it happened at all" doing it?

Because if it's anything other than the latter, it's been a long time.

[Jenn850]

We went from at least twice a day before pregnancy to once a month during. After DD was born by section there was a 7 week wait and we've averaged once a week the last month. I am guessing our twice a day days are pretty much over:(

[alexsmommy]

Ok, I gotta say, I am pleasantly surprised and these responses. As a therapist who specializes in perinatal issues (PPD, infertility etc) I have a lot of mama's on my caseload. You ladies are WAY more active the first year postpartum than many of the women I see. I have many many clients who are not PPD clients and I don't even start gently pushing women to resume sexual activities until 6mo postpartum. I can't tell you how many women I have worked with who haven't resumed at the 6 mo mark - or have sex maybe 2x in the first year. I just don't think you can underestimate the impact of postpartum hormones, the sometimes physicially "traumatic" experience of both vaginal and surgical birth, as well as mother nature's little trick of lowering the libido while nursing. I just wanted to say that for the mama's who are lurking and are now embarrased or think something is "wrong" with them if they have had much longer dry spells than this, especially once the kiddos come along. I think there is a very, very wide range of normal.

[BillK]

What is the longest that you and DH have gone without
making whoopee?




(Oh, no, she didn't.)

Don't...................even...............get.... ...........me...........started. :32:

[Tondi G]

for sure the 6 weeks after each baby.... during my 2nd pregnancy I had spotting/bleeding so my OB told us to abstain for a while.... that may have been 6 or 8 weeks too. Poor DH!

[StantonHyde]

I totally "disconnected" with each pregnancies--no "reaching the stars" and I really did not want to be touched at all anyway. So, my poor DH had 9 mos + the 6 weeks with each pg. He really was a good sport about it--I just don't think about what he probably looked at on the internet.

[brittone2]

6 weeks during a bout of crazy bleeding. We got the okay both times after both kids from our midwives prior to the 6 week mark. After DS's birth I think we resumed after 2-3 weeks (I had 2-3 stitches for a small tear and it was a little uncomfortable but not bad), and with DD I bled longer, but had no tearing at all . We waited maybe 3-4 weeks because of the bleeding, but it was much more enjoyable since I had no tearing.

I also skipped a few weeks while preggo with DS mostly because I was using vaginal progesterone supplements, and that made me more prone to bleeding after intercourse or transvag. ultrasounds. We didn't technically have to refrain, but I did so for my own mental health so I didn't have to worry if I saw spotting. That was probably 6-7 weeks maybe?

[mamaoftwins]

Ok, I gotta say, I am pleasantly surprised and these responses. As a therapist who specializes in perinatal issues (PPD, infertility etc) I have a lot of mama's on my caseload. You ladies are WAY more active the first year postpartum than many of the women I see. I have many many clients who are not PPD clients and I don't even start gently pushing women to resume sexual activities until 6mo postpartum. I can't tell you how many women I have worked with who haven't resumed at the 6 mo mark - or have sex maybe 2x in the first year. I just don't think you can underestimate the impact of postpartum hormones, the sometimes physicially "traumatic" experience of both vaginal and surgical birth, as well as mother nature's little trick of lowering the libido while nursing. I just wanted to say that for the mama's who are lurking and are now embarrased or think something is "wrong" with them if they have had much longer dry spells than this, especially once the kiddos come along. I think there is a very, very wide range of normal.

Thanks for posting this comment, alexsmommy.

The longest we have gone without is 4.5 months. I went into labor at 24wks and was on bedrest with "complete pelvic rest" until I delivered at 35wks. We had sex at 7wks post-partum, and man, it hurt like heck. I had an episiotomy (sp?) and I was sore for several months after. But, I will say that "grinning and bearing it" so to speak, helped a lot, as each time hurt less and less. Now, a yr after delivery, it's fine. But, I will say that overall, this past year, we have had sex considerably less than in the past. I suspect it's stress from having two new babies. I am wicked over-tired and drained at this point, so that is the last thing on my mind. DH & I desperately need a "date night" - haven't had one since the boys were 1 mo old. Need to work on that.

[egoldber]

Well I can beat most people here LOL!! With Amy, I had a severe subchorionic hemorrhage at 9 weeks and was on pelvic rest after that. And then she didn't sleep for basically the first 12 weeks of her life until she was properly medicated. Poor DH....

[hillview]

Um 5 weeks pp (c-section) after DS #1. Other than pp, maybe a week and a half when someone was traveling.
/hillary

[Corie]

I guess the question is - why are you asking? Do you feel like something is wrong in your relationship or are you trying to get a gauge of "normal"?

I think our relationship is fine.
My husband thinks he is being deprived if he has not had
sex in a couple of days. He swears that everyone else is having
sex constantly. He would like to have sex 10 times a day.

I put the question out there to see if *maybe* I was wrong. Maybe
everyone is having sex every day. :)

[maylips]

I think our relationship is fine.
My husband thinks he is being deprived if he has not had
sex in a couple of days. He swears that everyone else is having
sex constantly. He would like to have sex 10 times a day.

I put the question out there to see if *maybe* I was wrong. Maybe
everyone is having sex every day. :)

I don't even want to think about how long we've gone before because I would feel like a horrible wife. But tell your husband he's on crack. DH and I have what I would think is a great marriage and we still never have sex more than twice a week anymore.

Of course, here I am, typing away on this addictive board while DH is playing Wii. Exciting lives we live!

[Corie]

I think Corie just enjoys livening things up here with the occasional naughty thread. :)

Beth


Beth is right! I do love the occasional naughty thread. :)

[Emmas Mom]

I think our relationship is fine.
My husband thinks he is being deprived if he has not had
sex in a couple of days. He swears that everyone else is having
sex constantly. He would like to have sex 10 times a day.

I put the question out there to see if *maybe* I was wrong. Maybe
everyone is having sex every day. :)

You & I could be married to the same man! My DH is exactly the same. :ROTFLMAO:


Beth is right! I do love the occasional naughty thread. :)

Now I don't think we EVER would have guessed that! http://www.wdsection.com/community/images/smilies/ewink2.gif But apparently so do many of the rest of us....look how many views it's gotten!!

[american_mama]

A day or two ago, I was thinking of asking this exact question on the boards! I was going to exclude abstaining due to post-partum or medical reasons.

Excluding post partum, DH and I recently went through our longest spell of about 5-6 weeks, due to disinterest and discontentment with each other. My parents were visiting for a lot of that time, but we can actually DTD with them in the house. But it does dampen it, and a weak flame doesn't take too much to go out.

[kijip]

A day or two ago, I was thinking of asking this exact question on the boards! I was going to exclude abstaining due to post-partum or medical reasons.


Aside from baby related things and the period in which we were separated, there have been spells for a few weeks at a time. On average though for the last couple of years, no more than a couple of days.

This pregnancy was way better than last time but pp now with the c-section recovery, nursing and sleep loss for both of us, I can't imagine it happening all that soon.

[n2ou]

Ok, I gotta say, I am pleasantly surprised and these responses. As a therapist who specializes in perinatal issues (PPD, infertility etc) I have a lot of mama's on my caseload. You ladies are WAY more active the first year postpartum than many of the women I see. I have many many clients who are not PPD clients and I don't even start gently pushing women to resume sexual activities until 6mo postpartum. I can't tell you how many women I have worked with who haven't resumed at the 6 mo mark - or have sex maybe 2x in the first year. I just don't think you can underestimate the impact of postpartum hormones, the sometimes physicially "traumatic" experience of both vaginal and surgical birth, as well as mother nature's little trick of lowering the libido while nursing. I just wanted to say that for the mama's who are lurking and are now embarrased or think something is "wrong" with them if they have had much longer dry spells than this, especially once the kiddos come along. I think there is a very, very wide range of normal.


Where were you after I gave birth to dd? I tore so badly (and got sewn up to tightly) that really the only thing that helped was giving birth to ds.

Ouch! It hurts to remember ...

[Corie]

A day or two ago, I was thinking of asking this exact question on the boards! I was going to exclude abstaining due to post-partum or medical reasons.



That was how I had intended my original question. I just didn't
think to put that little disclaimer in there. I realize that all of us have
had to abstain from sex for post-partum or medical reasons at one
time or another.

[mommylamb]

i forgot this part. and hurt like a mother F*&^er is DARN RIGHT. so it was at least 3 months after schuyler. 9.5 lbs first baby... that's tear ya up...

Ouch.........

ETA: I think other than the pp period, we've probably gone no more than a couple of weeks. DH would be up for it every day though. When we don't do it, it's usually because we have visitors staying with us or one of us is sick. It's harder now with DS because I'm often tired at night and you only have tha limited nap time.... so sad.