Why do people think taking care of a baby means having fun?

[slworld]

Not exactly a bitch but I just find it annoying (for lack of a better word) when people (ones without kids) think taking care of baby means having fun. Two people said this last week. I work FT so MIL takes care of DS during the day and after I get off work, I take over DS and MIL takes care of dinner or relaxes if we have leftovers. I mentioned this and they immediately said oh you get to play with the baby while your MIL cooks. What!! Agreed I probably have it easier than folks who have to take of everything on their own, but still, its no walk in the park.

SIL was here over the holidays and I was taking care of DS fulltime since I was on vacation (and MIL needed one). It was when the snow storm hit us, so DH was busier than usual with clearing driveways, deicing etc. Apparently SIL went back and told everyone that DH is the one who takes care of everything and all I do is play with the baby. Now if it were some outsider, I would have just ignored it, but SIL was with us for 2 weeks so she knows that DS is pretty high maintenance. He does not nap for more than 1/2hour & very fussy during feeds (drinks only 3-4oz in one session and so needs to be fed every couple of hours and each session takes about 1/2hour). And he does not play by himself; he always needs someone by him.

I just needed to vent some. Thanks.

[trales]

I hear you. Didn't you know, that is all parents do all day, play with the kids and laugh and have fun. Because, kids never cry, get over tired, hit, bite, pull the dogs tale, write on the walls, climb out of the crib, empty all the cupboards, mow the dogs with toys, make messes, spill food everywhere etc.

I personally sit around all day drinking mamosa's, playing with a happy angelic DD, do my nails, eat spa like food and read.

What does SIL think that MIL does all day and you all evening. Maybe she should take a turn. Frankly, I think your husband got the better end of the deal plowing and de-icing.

[niccig]

I personally sit around all day drinking mamosa's, playing with a happy angelic DD, do my nails, eat spa like food and read.



Yeah, I eat bon bons ALL DAY LONG....

[maestramommy]

What does SIL think that MIL does all day and you all evening. Maybe she should take a turn. Frankly, I think your husband got the better end of the deal plowing and de-icing.

:hysterical: So true! But you wouldn't know that until you have a kid of your own!

[farsk]

As much as I love my kid, when I had her, it was like putting on handcuffs. I've been in mommy prison ever since.

Most days it's ok. Some days it's not. Being a single mom certainly makes it worse. I do treasure the times I get to be Shannon instead of Ellen's Mom.

[tnrnchick74]

As much as I love my kid, when I had her, it was like putting on handcuffs. I've been in mommy prison ever since.

Most days it's ok. Some days it's not. Being a single mom certainly makes it worse. I do treasure the times I get to be Shannon instead of Ellen's Mom.

I just about said this EXACT thing to a friend of mine tonight...we were commiserating. Yeah, I love my child...but MANY days I REALLY don't like him all that much! And I really want to know who the hell has hidden the bon bons because I didn't get one AT ALL the last 2 weeks. I've been going on 1.5 hrs of sleep each night THEN WORKING 12 HR SHIFTS 3 DAYS A WEEK!

Pass the twisty straw and the bon bons please :)

[KrisM]

Yeah, I eat bon bons ALL DAY LONG....

Okay, what is a bon bon and where are mine? I need one or a box of them or however they come.

DH was talking to a newly engaged coworker last week and complained that he didn't get much sleep as the kids were up a lot the previous night. The coworker wondered why his wife, me, who stays home didn't get up while my DH got to sleep. At least my DH knows that answer to that, but his coworker was pretty appaled at the thought of it!

[gatorsmom]

Oh, I hear you. But it's not just the people without kids. Last summer, I was telling a very good friend and her sister that I see maybe once a year how it's been with twins. I told her that since we don't have family in the area I have a part time nanny come in who helps with some laundry and will take care of 2 kids at a time. Her sister looked at me and said, "You are a SAHM and you have a nanny?" I looked at her and said, "Well, yeah, how else am I going to sit around all day and eat bonbons?" (yes, I actually did use the bonbon comment!).

so irritating.

[maestramommy]

DH was talking to a newly engaged coworker last week and complained that he didn't get much sleep as the kids were up a lot the previous night. The coworker wondered why his wife, me, who stays home didn't get up while my DH got to sleep. At least my DH knows that answer to that, but his coworker was pretty appaled at the thought of it!

Something like that happened to Dh once. He was talking to his cousin (from Taiwan) about weekends. Dh said he does laundry. His cousin was appalled that he actually does the laundry. What cracked me up was that Dh was appalled that his cousin doesn't, even though he's renting a room. Apparently his landlady (also from Taiwan) does it for him!

His cousin got married this summer. Should be funny when they start having kids!

[mommylamb]

I hear ya! I'm in the same position, WOHM and when I get home I take care of DS and DH takes care of me. No doubt, I have it easier than other moms who do the double duty of working full time and doing the cooking/cleaning, but taking care of DS isn't all fun and games. Now, it is fun a lot of the time to take care of DS, but not always, and regardless of fun or not, it's a job that has to be done. Working and being a mom is hard work (as I'm sure staying at home is too for different reasons), and it bugs me when people who don't know criticize.

[Melaine]

Oh, I hear you. But it's not just the people without kids. Last summer, I was telling a very good friend and her sister that I see maybe once a year how it's been with twins. I told her that since we don't have family in the area I have a part time nanny come in who helps with some laundry and will take care of 2 kids at a time. Her sister looked at me and said, "You are a SAHM and you have a nanny?" I looked at her and said, "Well, yeah, how else am I going to sit around all day and eat bonbons?" (yes, I actually did use the bonbon comment!).

so irritating.

People are so clueless about twins. They SO much more than twice the work of one child. "The hardest by far of all my kids" -my friend who is the mother of 8, 6 & 7 being twins.

[Melaine]

I consider being a SAHM fulfilling, rewarding, and in some ways, a luxury. It is certainly what I chose to do. However, I am pretty sure I've never described it as a whole as "fun".

[lizajane]

I consider being a SAHM fulfilling, rewarding, and in some ways, a luxury. It is certainly what I chose to do. However, I am pretty sure I've never described it as a whole as "fun".

i think this is the hardest thing about being a SAHM. if you aren't gushing about how beautiful your children are every 5 minutes, then you are complaining about the choice you made to be at home.

i have been at home for 5.5 years. my oldest has OCD, ADHD and anxiety. my youngest was a dream baby...when awake. he didn't sleep all night until 18 months. so i had a non-sleeping baby and a hyperactive 2 year old. and it just got harder.

so DH has been telling me for the past 2 years, "if you aren't happy, then go do something else."

can i really describe the days spent cleaning up the same mess 3 times, asking S. to put in his shoes 10 times and then finally doing it myself, asking dylan to stop playing in the water, the soap, the toilet, the dog food, the dirt, the clean laundry, shooing the dogs away from eating the kids' food (that i paid good money for!) and doing household chores in the mniddle of all that FUN??

no, my day to day is not FUN. it is fulfulling. it is worth it. but it is not fun.

fun is taking my kids to the park on the perfect day and getting to chat with my friends while i watch them all play imaginatively together, laughing and running and pretending. fun is going to the pool with friends and see dylan swim in the baby pool because he isn't afraid- and seeing that he doesn't even KNOW that he knows how to really swim, he just does it. fun is watching my child perform in a school music and dance show and seeing how proud he is when he catches my eye.

and if i were not a SAHM, i might not have these FUN times nearly as often. but i also would not have to clean up the same mess 3 times in a row nearly as often either.

to me, playing with a baby is fun. but that is because i had fun babies and i never felt guilty about not doing the laundry when i was playing with my baby because he was incapable of going into the playroom and playing on his own. but i got to do all the other stuff i needed to do while he was sleeping, like shower or bake or sew or garden or read. if i worked full time outside the home, i would not get to do all those other things and they might be on my mind while sitting with a fussy baby.

[g-mama]

While I don't think taking care of a baby is easy, sometimes come dinnertime, I wish I could do one or the other. My dh gets home around 7 and so I've always had to both cook dinner and take care of my kiddies. Many nights I thought I'd tear my hair out by the time I finally got dinner on the table.

And my dh knew better than to ever question *what* I actually got on the table to eat - he was just happy that I did!

These days, my kids are not babies anymore but it is so hard to help my 2nd grader with homework, while the 3 year old and 5 year old are trying to get Play Doh out, while I'm trying to both cook and clear off the table so we can eat, and then my 3yo announces he has to go poop, and we have to get out the door in 20 minutes for soccer practice!! It's like running a marathon. Hmmm....so why am I not skinny?