fertility, breastfeeding and natural family planning- info please

[Beckylove]

I am ebf'ing and using no bc currently w/ a 6mo old and no period. I know "breastfeeding is not birth control" but am willing to take my chances as I hadn't got a period yet.

Today, I have spotting/beginnings of a light period. Yuck. Now we have to make some bc decisions. I tried mini-pill and was unhappy with queasyness and weight gain. I am uncomfortable with the way Mirena/IUD works. DH hates condoms & sponge gets expensive if used all the time. I am interested in NFP or a similar method and need a lot more info.

How does it work with bf'ing? Especially if I'm not sure if my period is back for good or not? Temperature taking is part of it, but I don't understand what good it is to know you ovulated this morning, if you did the deed last night.

If someone with experience could shed some light I would really appreciate it. If you would share where to get additional info, especially that relates to bf'ing, that would be great.

About us, FWIW: religiously/philosophically we desire a method that prevents sperm from reaching egg. We're not ready to add baby #2 for another 2 years or so, but it is not tragic if it were to happen sooner than we had planned.

Thanks for any insight you have to give.

[JTsMom]

The first things I would do would be to pick up the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility, and check out the Fertility Friend website. The deal with charting is that you learn the pattern, so that you know which days you typically ovulate/are fertile on, and can thus avoid/use alternate methods on those days. While your cycles are irregular, it is trickier to use NFP.

It is way to complicated for me to explain all of it in a post, but if you read the info from both of the sources I mentioned above, you'll have a pretty firm grasp of what is involved.

In the meantime, there's always the old pull and pray method, which I would't rec to anyone who wasn't comfortable rolling the dice, but it seems like you are, so... ;)

[Gena]

We use Natural Family Planning for religious and medical reasons. There are several menthods of NFP. We use the Symtpo-Thermal method which involves monitoring three fertility signs: temperature, cervical fluid, and cervix position.

We learned NFP through a course offered by the Couple to Couple League (http://ccli.org/)(CCL). The class is for both spouses and is taught by a husbad and wife team. The course materials include information that is specific to using NFP after childbirth and while breastfeeding. I would suggest that you find a CCL class in your area. You can find a class through the CCL website or often through churches (commonly Catholic churches, but sometimes others). You do not have to be a member of any church or religion to take the classes. They also offer a home study course.

Breastfeeding did not work work out for us :(, so I do not have personal experience with using NFP while breastfeeding. But if you have other questions about NFP, feel free to PM me.

[WatchingThemGrow]

The first things I would do would be to pick up the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility,

Ahem...yeah, we borrowed that book from a friend, and DH was in charge of reading it. Apparently, he did so a little late and we only started charting the temps when they were already elevated for 18 days- which means I had JUST gotten pregnant ;).

Don't just skim the book if you don't want a full house quickly. That's my advice! OTOH, it sure is fun in our house and it shall be for a few years!

[DietCokeLover]

I agree with PP on Taking Charge of Your Fertility and the website. We used this method for 2 years prior to deciding to have children. We got pregnant on our first try because I was so aware of my body's cycle.

But, definitely take precaution until you fully read the book. :)

[lisams]

For temp charting you would do it for a few months to find a pattern, while noting changes in your cervical mucous (gross, I know, but it does work), your temp., and cervical position (if you want). BUT, while breastfeeding it isn't that easy. One month you may have a 28 day cycle, the next it might be 50 days. That's how it was for me for a while.

Or you could use condoms until you notice the temp spike and then you'd know you ovulated so you could go condom free for two weeks. Sounds like a good compromise to me!

[pinay]

We didn't start relying exclusively on NFP/FAM until I had stopped BF'ing, so I can't speak from that experience, but we've used it off and on since before I got pregnant w/ DD. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is an excellent resource and a pretty easy read if you've got the time. I found that it was a little challenging to take my temps at the same time every day, but that after a while I could pretty much determine fertility based on the quality of my cervical fluid. Now I don't even bother with taking temps and we haven't had any "scares" because I know my cycle so well.

[brittone2]

Temping will be tough if you are still nursing at night or having interrupted sleep. They usually recommend at least 4 hrs uninterrupted before taking your temp.

[salsah]

the temp thing didn't work for me. i charted for months and saw no pattern. our infertility dr said that some people are like that. we used ovulation predictor kits to determine when i ovulate. if you have started your period, you can use a the kits for a few cycles (or for however long it takes to get consistent results) to determine when (which day of your cycle) you ovulate. then avoid intercourse or use the withdrawal method (a little bit riskier) for several days before and a few days after that day. to be safer, you can extend the number of days before and after (in case your cycle shifts). the days before you ovulate are more important because the sperm can stay alive inside you for a couple of days before meeting and fertilizing an egg. hth

[JenaW]

Temping is next to impossible IMO if you are breastfeeding, mainly because of the interrupted sleep. I have used various forms of NFP exclusively for the entire 10 years of my marriage (for religious reasons). I read TCOYF before I got married and basically used the sympto-thermal method as a pp described, charting temps, cervical fluid, and cervical position. Initially, I used lifecycle (now ovusoft I think) which is TCOYF's online charting system. I found it fairly easy to learn and use when I was TTC. But after I had a baby and was BFing (I am one of those "lucky" ones with early return of menses) it was not as easy. I stopped temping all together, and really stopped charting religiously as well. We kind of threw caution to the wind and left it up to God. After having 5 babies in less than 6 years, DH and I decided we needed to something else. I recently started reading about the Billings Ovulation Method (woomb.org). It uses ONLY cervical fluid and it supposed to be reliable while breastfeeding. The main difference between temp observations and cervical fluid obs are that temps can only predict ovulation AFTER it has occurred, whereas you can visually see the changes in your cervical fluid and predict O pretty reliably ahead of time, or much closer to when it actually happens instead of a day or more later. We'll see how well it works! The woomb website has an online recording system that it fairly easy and they supposedly offer online instruction or can hook you up with a local instructor. My best advice regardless of what method you ultimately decide to use is to find someone who has been trained to teach NFP and learn from them. If you are ok with a potential pregnancy resulting from a misinterpreted sign, then you probably can go ahead and try and teach yourself. However, there is a lot to be said for having someone else to look over your charts and help you learn. There are numerous online resources (just google NFP, Billings Ovulation Method, Couple to Couple League, Creighton Model, TCOYF, etc) or call your local Catholic Diocese office andthey should be able to give you a list of instructors or classes in your area. A local Catholic Hospital could do this to if you have one.

good Luck!
J

[specialp]

I've also did the Couple-to-couple league as well as the Marquette Method and read TCOYF. I think the book is much simplier to follow & understand IMO and isn't faith based since that isn't a concern for some. Well worth your time to read.

It's hard to go into details, but here's the gist. (Warning TMI coming). You chart 2 main things. 1. Your cervical fluid - this is the symptom that lets you know you are approaching your most fertile time and 2. Waking temperatures are charted to let you know that you have definitely ovulated. In sum, don't focus on the temps alone.

Hope that helps.

[pastrygirl]

I use the Creighton model, which doesn't use temps at all. I used to use a temping method but wanted to learn a mucus-only method in preparation for breastfeeding and frequent night wakeups. I've been using it for years so I'm 100% confident in NFP. I would never say that about any other method -- if you have sex during your fertile time, even with other birth control or especially with withdrawal, there's a chance you will get pregnant. If you don't have sex (NFP), then there's zero chance. You can't cut corners with NFP, though. For some reason, people take risks and then are surprised that they get pregnant. There are very, very, very few TRUE surprises with NFP.

My advice: learn the method well and stick with the rules. When in doubt, consider yourself fertile.

I was able to catch my first postpartum cycle weeks ahead of time. Even though I was breastfeeding round the clock with few breaks, my cycles returned at 4 months. It was not a surprise at all, because I'd been charting since day 56 postpartum. When stuff starting looking suspicious, I treated it as potential fertility. It required a bunch of abstinence, though... like 3+ weeks each month for several months (some months only had one usable day). Eventually my cycles went back to normal. But it was such a relief to not have to worry about pregnancy. The abstinence was worth it to me!

[AngelaS]

I used the TCOYF method after my second. I was still bf, but getting woken up at roughly the same time every night, so I was confident with my temps being accurate. It was a good method for us and I found it very reliable.

Until....

One weekend my thermometer's battery died so I couldn't chart. I thought I was not fertile, but at the same time.... dh looked REALLY good to me. Seriously, I'd never found him SO attractive nor NEEDED him as much as I did that weekend. Um...yeah. Our bonus baby came 9 months later. But man....the sex that weekend was very memorable! ;)

So, be careful of user error, okay? ;)

[Beckylove]

I ordered Taking Charge of Your Fertility this morning. Now I have to wait for it to get here.

I also looked into Couple to Couple League classes in the area- they don't start until April. Pre-wedding season I guess. I suspect DH and I will be in a class with a lot of doe-eyed Catholic youngsters about to be wed. I think engaged couples are adorable!

A big thank you to everyone for sharing your experience, advice and resources.

[writermama]

OK, no one else has mentioned it, so I'll add another option. Consider a diaphragm. The learning curve to insert it can be frustrating, but once you get the hang of it it's easy. The dr or midwife who fits it for you should also teach you how to use it. You can do it ahead of time so it doesn't break the mood. Used with spermacide it's effective as BC though not 100%, but if you're planning more babies eventually, it may be a good option and you could use it along with NFP for better odds. Cost is about $25, but that lasts a year.

[Gena]

I also looked into Couple to Couple League classes in the area- they don't start until April. Pre-wedding season I guess. I suspect DH and I will be in a class with a lot of doe-eyed Catholic youngsters about to be wed.


Not necessarily. Our course was a series of one class a month for 4 months. The first class (an introduction to and overview of NFP) was required for all the engaged couples in our Catholic parish. That session did have a lot of young couples in it. The other 3 classes were the real in depth instruction and were only for the couples that wanted to take the full course. There were 4 couples who took the full course. We were engaged and in our 30's (definately not doe-eyed youngsters), another engaged couple who were also in their 30's, a couple in their 20s who had been married for a few years and were dissatisfied with other forms of BC, and a married couple in their 40's who were taking it as a "refresher". So you never know who will be in your class.

[daisymommy]

Just wanted to chime in and add to the already great information. Taking Charge of Your Fertility is a GREAT book, we also took the Couple-to-Couple Class through my midwive's office.

When I was trying to get pregnant with both Josh and Hannah, I did all 3: temp, Cervical mucous & position. Then after having Hannah and I was breastfeeding round the clock, I only did CM & position, as well as calendar/day counting. I knew that in the past I ALWAYS ovulated between days 14-16th.
I didn't end up getting my period back until 15 months pp., & Hannah weaned at 18 months.
The first time we decided to "risk it" on my fertile weekend led to baby #3 :wink2: Which was fine because we both wanted another baby and were leaving it up to chance at that point.

Anyone I know that I told we weren't using chemical or barrier method birth control freaked out and said we would end up with a house full of kids. Well, after 2.5 yrs of not getting pregnant using NFP, then deciding we did want to and getting pregnant, I'd say it worked out great for us!