Would it be crazy to not send DD to preschool next year?

[WatchingThemGrow]

So, by my siggie, you'll notice that I'll have a 36.5 month span for three children next summer. DD, DS and I are involved in a bible study program on morning, Kindermusik class, and a playgroup, each on different days of the week. We have the option of two days at home each week, and we have passes to all the museums, etc in our area (thanks, grandparents!!!) Oh, I also have MIL and FIL who live a few miles away and have a carseat that barely gets used, they say. They invite DD to come over to play sometimes.

There is one highly recommended preschool directly across the street from our neighborhood, and we could very easily walk to the school on nice days. There are, of course, several others around town that others have "heard" were good, but I haven't gone to see them all yet. The one we visited yesterday is an 8 min. drive, but I wasn't in love with it. Not sure why. I guess my former teaching thing makes me really want teachers trained to be teachers, and an exciting classroom. The one we went to see seemed okay, but they have to take down/set up every day, which just seems like it would take away from how much extra energy the teachers have to put into planning, creating fun experiences, etc.

Today I just had to giggle at SO many of the things DD did on her own or with DS. They just cracked me up - from playing the glockenspiel together to reading books to her dolls while DS practiced walking across the room. The thought of having her gone made me a little sad.

Anyway, should I just blindly fill out a few more applications since they are due in the next week or so or just hope and pray that she gets a spot in the preschool by our house? Does anyone keep their 3 yo at home when there are 2 younger kids to care for? Will I go nuts with all three of them or will I go MORE nuts trying to get her TO and FROM school with the other two in tow?

Please advise... I can't decide what to do...

[MamaKath]

There is much to be said for an enriching year home with mom and siblings. It sounds like you wouldn't have her planted in front of the tv. She would be learning from the world around her, playing with age appropriate toys, enjoying time with mom and siblings, etc. I did this with dc1 and it was a great year! I would still love to homeschool. :) Go with your gut, 3 is young. There are many more years for structured school.

[AnnieW625]

Your oldest, and youngest will be about the same age as my daughter, and #2. We plan on sending Elisa to preschool next year because it will be a nice break from the baby and she'll be going with all of her friends from her daycare. I think it might be nice for your daughter do something on her own because a lot of your attention will be with the new baby. However with that said if you aren't really comfortable with the other schools then just apply to the one school and hope for the best. I think she'd be fine if you kept her out a year. It's not the end of the world.

[randomkid]

Personally, I'd wait until she's 4yo. DD started this year at 3yo (an older 3 - 3yrs, 7 months). She loves her school, her teachers and all her new friends. However, she doesn't have siblings her age at home. Even though she loves school, she'd much rather be home with me. If I didn't have to work and if she had siblings close to her age (or at least a playgroup), I'd have kept her home another year. She was in an in-home daycare last year, but all the kids her age left to go to preschool. I didn't feel it was fair to leave her there with all the other kids being 2 and under.

Having said that, just be prepared for maybe a little more difficult adjustment at 4. I have a friend who works in the 4yo classroom at a preschool and she has told me that the kids who have never been in a classroom setting take a couple of months to adjust. Of course, this is likely true of a 3yo who has never been in a school setting before as well.

[KpbS]

Well getting to and from the one so close wouldn't be as hard as another you had to travel farther for however it would still definitely take some doing (getting everyone dressed, shoes, hats, etc.) and would alter the flow of your days. It's true she might enjoy some time away but you could accomplish that with special time just for her w/ the grandparents. That time could be far more flexible (and free!). Downside would be there isn't much of a predictable schedule/break from 3 to 2.

Could you send her for 1 day a week this summer as a trial? Maybe a mother's day out type program--or a play based program?

You certainly aren't harming her by not sending her. I totally agree w/ PP that there are years and years of structured school ahead and you guys sound very involved socially outside of the home and she has a playmate right there in your home. So no, definitely not crazy.

Good luck--that's a tough call. We waited until close to 3 w/ DS1 and started with one half day a week. It was best for us.

[C99]

Are you going to have the energy to break up (or listen to) disputes between children, entertain your DD every day, take them to museums, etc. with a 3-6-month-old? These are the questions you should really ask yourself.

My kids are spaced further apart than yours, but DS1 would have made me NUTS if he didn't have preschool (actually, he went to MDO when DS2 was born) a few days/week.

[s7714]

I don't think it would be crazy, but then there are pros and cons to either side. Personally my younger DD (who's now 3 1/2) was really, really ready for preschool this year. Socially and mentally she was clearly wanting to go. But she also saw how much fun her older sister had had in preschool, so she was all ready to get those experiences for herself. I think it would have been cruel to not send her really!

My older DD OTOH didn't go to preschool when she was 3. She only went one year starting at age 4. Partly because she broke her arm and I didn't want to send her off to preschool with her first major break. And partly because I couldn't deal with carting her around to school while dealing with her younger sister's schedule. It would have interfered with her younger sister's nap times, nursing, meal times, etc. Instead we had fun going to play group several times a week and doing activities like the zoo when they better fit our schedule. I don't think she was socially, mentally or academically any worse for wear by not going to preschool that year. She seemed to be on the same level as the classmates who had a year of preschool (or more if you count daycare) under their belts, so I don't have any regrets about not sending her.

[citymama]

It sounds like you'd prefer to keep her home. She's in an enriching and loving environment, with her siblings and lots of cool activities. But she's also going to be 3 and a few months, with an infant baby and younger sib at home. You will probably not have as much time for her, and she will probably benefit from the increased socialization at a preschool. Unless you plan to home school, I figure your DD will be off to school at some point soon, and personally I think 3 and change is a great age to do so. Like the other PPs, I think there are pros and cons either way. And ultimately this has to be a decision you and your family are comfortable with - there's no silver bullet any of us can offer, since our situations are so different.

Why not put in a few preschool applications (to the neighborhood school and a couple of others), just so you're covered, in case things are crazy once the new baby arrives, and DD is turning out to need more diversity/stimulation in activities? That way you can keep your options open, and make a decision when you have a better idea of how your life will be this Fall.

Between this and the home-buying post, I am getting a strong sense of someone who wants to hang on to things just the way they are! ;) And I can totally see why, esp. if you have a good balance/rhythm at the moment.

[AngelaS]

Personally I would go nuts getting all three kids out the door on time to be some place that many days a week. It sounds to me like she's getting plenty of interaction and attention at home, so personally I wouldn't send her to preschool.

[maestramommy]

Personally I would go nuts getting all three kids out the door on time to be some place that many days a week. It sounds to me like she's getting plenty of interaction and attention at home, so personally I wouldn't send her to preschool.


This is a good point. I was actually thinking of sending Arwyn to preschool next fall because of the baby. Dora's school has a 2yo class. But by then Dora will be going to another school with different dropoff and pickup times. Personally I think trying to coordinate that would be more stressful than having 2-3 kids at home.

In your situation I would send the oldest to preschool if I felt the logistics could be worked out without too much juggling, otherwise it wouldn't be worth it, considering the kind of environment she already gets at home.

[o_mom]

I sent my 3yo when I had two more at home. I was glad - he needed the social time which became harder to schedule with a new baby and a toddler. I don't think it is a 'have to', though.

It sounds like you like the neighborhood school. I would put in the application there and if you get that then send her - if not, then don't sweat it. Convenience is a big factor in choosing a preschool, IMO. One other thing to consider is if you are set on a certain school for the 4 yo year, it can sometimes be hard to get in if you are not there as a 3 yo. This varies widely. Most have an early sign up period for current students and then a lottery for the general public after that. That also includes younger sibs, so if you want the next two to go there, being 'in' already can make it easier to enroll them. We were able to sign DS2 up during the early enrollment because DS1 was already there - it pretty much guantees a spot for them.

One last thing - don't sweat it if you are on a wait list. Talk to the school and get a feel for if the wait list is a big deal. I know several people who signed up at several schools and were waitlisted, but then when they got in the first one dropped off the other lists so there may be a good chance of getting in or getting a preferred class (PM classes are usually easier to get in) even if you are waitlisted.

[Melaine]

No, I absolutely do not think it would be crazy! I am not a fan of pre-K regardless, and you seem to have everything under control at home.
I am of the homeschool mindset though....

[hellokitty]

I think that if you want to keep her at home, that is perfectly fine. It sounds like you guys do plenty of other stuff, it's not like she's just vegging in front of the tv all day. I am however a weirdo when it comes to this topic, I believe in a more, "homeschool preschool" during the first few yrs and don't really feel that a child really, needs more than one yr of preschool. I don't send mine to preschool until they are 4 yrs old. My 2nd child will end up with two yrs, b/c he misses the bday cutoff for our district, so it's more of a technicality for us. At this point he is pysched about school, b/c he sees his big brother go, so he will end up with 2 yrs of preschool, but it's not like I feel like he HAS to have 2+ yrs of preschool. if it wasn't for his bday issue, he would just go for one yr as well. However, since the preschool he is going to go to is going to be at the same place my older son will be going to K at, it's not really any extra work for me to drop them off and pick them up at the same time (oldest will be doing 1/2 day K).

[KBecks]

ne of the big factors for us sending DS1 to ps was that he seemed a little bored at home. We also found a school we are confident in. It sounds like your DD is happy at home and has lots of learning and play opportunities. If we had no school I was comfortable with, I wouldn't hesitate to not do ps.

It was/is convenient to have only 2 kids in the mornings with 3 kids.

[brittone2]

We're planning to homeschool, but even if we weren't, I'd probably only do one year of preschool.

As PPs said, I think it is different for every family. DS was about 3 when DD was born, and while it was challenging to have him and a newborn at home together, I certainly would have found it challenging to get everyone up, fed, dressed, out the door and to preschool drop-off, and then pick up a short while later. I think that's a personal thing, but for me, that would have not been a cakewalk.

DS has never been bored at home. He's approaching 5. We don't do TV and he finds loads of things to keep him busy. He's reading on his own and has been for several months. He plays with the neighborhood kids and gets plenty of social time that way.

I think the balance is different for every family, but I don't think DS missed out on anything academically or socially by being home. Since we are HSing I don't need to worry about him learning to line up, sit for circle time or anything like that. We did do library story hour for a while and DS sat for that and listened, so IMO there are plenty of things you could do with DC if those "school readiness" skills are a concern for you.

I think it is common for the mom to want/need a break and want to send her child to preschool for that, but for me, it was not a big deal to keep DS home with me. Honestly, getting everyone up and out the door with a nursing infant would probably been just as stressful for me as just having DS at home with me.

I do think it is a good idea to find out if it is hard to get into certain preschools in this area as a 4 year old if they haven't gone at 3.

[hellokitty]

I think it is common for the mom to want/need a break and want to send her child to preschool for that, but for me, it was not a big deal to keep DS home with me. Honestly, getting everyone up and out the door with a nursing infant would probably been just as stressful for me as just having DS at home with me.


It always baffles my mind when ppl say, "You should send him to preschool so you have a break." A break? Getting him up early in the morning, RUSH, RUSH, RUSH to get to school by 9am, and then less than 2 hrs later I have to go back, get my younger child in and out of his carseat, and wait in line to fetch my child isn't really a break for me at all. So, I really wonder what ppl mean when they say this. Preschools in our area are typically only 2.5 hrs long, when you factor in travel time (we're about 15 min away from ours), I just feel like a shuttle bus and other than running a couple of errands, I don't feel like it is a break, it's a PITA.

[brittone2]

It always baffles my mind when ppl say, "You should send him to preschool so you have a break." A break? Getting him up early in the morning, RUSH, RUSH, RUSH to get to school by 9am, and then less than 2 hrs later I have to go back, get my younger child in and out of his carseat, and wait in line to fetch my child isn't really a break for me at all. So, I really wonder what ppl mean when they say this. Preschools in our area are typically only 2.5 hrs long, when you factor in travel time (we're about 15 min away from ours), I just feel like a shuttle bus and other than running a couple of errands, I don't feel like it is a break, it's a PITA.

Yep, and I'm 2 for 2 with car haters. DD used to cry so hard even on a 5 min drive that she'd work herself into a sweat (and no, she wasn't dressed overly warm or anything like that in the carseat). For me, *not* worth it to have 2 hours or so max at home without DS.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Many great points have been shared, and I'm appreciative of all of them. I've gotta go make dinner, so I'll come back and try to weigh it out more.

Another factor I forgot to include is that we have historically had the hardest nursing experiences of anyone I know. We've made it to 6-7 months each time, but only with an insane amount of effort, pumping, etc. I think that since the morning nursing session is the only one the last two babies have been able to hold onto - and sometimes w/o a supplement, that kinda makes me hesitant to do the rushing out of the house thing.

Anyway, keep sharing please, I'll keep trying to justify one or the other...Thanks!!

[KBecks]

It always baffles my mind when ppl say, "You should send him to preschool so you have a break." A break? Getting him up early in the morning, RUSH, RUSH, RUSH to get to school by 9am, and then less than 2 hrs later I have to go back, get my younger child in and out of his carseat, and wait in line to fetch my child isn't really a break for me at all. So, I really wonder what ppl mean when they say this. Preschools in our area are typically only 2.5 hrs long, when you factor in travel time (we're about 15 min away from ours), I just feel like a shuttle bus and other than running a couple of errands, I don't feel like it is a break, it's a PITA.

I get a break b/c DH gets DS1 ready for school and drives him there, so I only have to get everyone loaded for a car line pick up. I agree that the shuffle to/from school and travel w/3 is not easy.

[hellokitty]

Many great points have been shared, and I'm appreciative of all of them. I've gotta go make dinner, so I'll come back and try to weigh it out more.

Another factor I forgot to include is that we have historically had the hardest nursing experiences of anyone I know. We've made it to 6-7 months each time, but only with an insane amount of effort, pumping, etc. I think that since the morning nursing session is the only one the last two babies have been able to hold onto - and sometimes w/o a supplement, that kinda makes me hesitant to do the rushing out of the house thing.

Anyway, keep sharing please, I'll keep trying to justify one or the other...Thanks!!

One thing you might want to consider, is PM preschool. I didn't even realize this was an option until I researched preschools last yr. I am due with a baby a month after you are and DREAD what mornings are going to be like when the school yr starts. If yesterday morning was any indication of what it may be like (DS2, goofed around and fell down a flight of stairs and tore his upper frenulum, he's ok, but it was bloody and he has bruises on his face, then the stupid dog pooped all over the kitchen to top it off and the weather was horrid and I had to cancel some activities I am in charge of so was on the phone a lot, etc.), I think we are going to enroll my oldest into PM 1/2 day K, and my younger one into PM preschool (same school, so I can do drop offs and pick ups at the same time, preschool isn't 5 days a wk though). I just know that with a nursling that mornings will be S.L.O.W and I am NOT a morning person to begin with. Plus getting two semi-indep kids ready for school (and drive them), which I can barely manage now, would just seem like I'd be setting myself up for failure.

[m448]

I agree that staying home is a good option. We're homeschoolers but even if we had not chosen that option I would have kept them at home until kindy. Aside from the rush-rush to get out and then go pick up your preschool aged child gets a safe environment for working through the sibling adjustment. Also less likely to bring home any and every illness at preschool for the baby too kwim?

I honestly haven't found it terribly hardER to have the kids at home at that age. You'll be breaking up arguments for ever anyway whether they are home during the day or the evening but with the siblings at home you get to foster that relationship with more time spent together and get to fend off the "you're a baby"ies from getting in the way.

[WatchingThemGrow]

Just wanted to update this thread. We only applied to the ONE preschool across the street from our house. She's #4 on the girl list for 3 y.o.'s. The director told me in Dec. they only expect about 8 slots total for both classes, so basically, they'll have to lose a lot of kids for her to get in. We do have a relatively mobile population here, so, we'll see.

I still think it will be extremely difficult to get up and out with everyone by 8:45 those mornings, but I'm hoping DH will adjust his schedule or I'll get some amazing burst of energy when DS2 is about 3 mos. old, LOL.

Thanks again for all your encouragement that we'll be okay either way...

[WatchingThemGrow]

And another update...

Apparently, the economy is having an effect on preschool enrollment. At least that's what I heard from one friend... She said people aren't sending their kids if it is just a "luxury" to send them right now.

DD moved up quickly on the list and got the call last week! She's going to be enrolled in the Tuesday-Thursday 3 yo's class across the street from our neighborhood. I think that will be relatively manageable. And... with our proximity, I'm hoping that someone will offer to help out with rides sometimes in exchange for something.

My plan is to get up and walk her over on the days that I can (around nursing sessions) using the Ergo, the double stroller, and the HitchHiker board. Just seems easier than carseats for some reason. Pickup is drive through, so I won't have to get DS1 and DS2 out of the car if we do end up doing errands and swing by to get her. hip hip hooray!!!