Sister "smack down"

[hillview]

My sister lives on the other side of the country. We get along fine (up and down but usually fine). She has a 2.5 year old who she did CIO at 6 months ... not my thing but I made no comment. Over Christmas she said she wasn't sure she would make it to 6 months with her new DD (8 weeks old). I left that alone only saying it gets better and I know it is hard. Now she is having a hard time getting DD to take a bottle and she wants to be able to take yoga and get massages (also to be fair to just get out of the house which I get). So if DD doesn't take the bottle by Friday she is going to do a "smackdown" (her words!) over the weekend and force her to have a bottle / not feed her. I sent her a bunch of ideas (from this board) on how to get DN to take a bottle -- some she took others she didn't try (feed her when she isn't in a feeding rage etc -- not tried).

Frankly no one should have a "smack down" with a 10 week old over feeding IMO.

So I know this is nothing HORRIBLE (eg call DSS) but it just makes me so sad to think about DN. My sister has a very different mothering outlook and I just am not on the same page there. It is hard to keep quiet when I feel like she isn't making a great choice but I know I need to keep quiet.

If you read this far -- thanks for listening!!

/hillary

[pastrygirl]

That poor baby! :( I can't imagine using the word "smackdown" regarding a newborn. I really, really hope she's not serious.

[hellokitty]

Using the word, "smackdown" when referring to a 10 wk old is just wrong on so many levels. :shake:

It's funny, my sil is pg with her first and due about the same time I am due with #3, so our babies will be the same age and I get the feeling there will be a lot of parenting topics that we disagree with and I'll be biting my tongue a lot or venting to my DH about it. I had never thought much about it before, but I do have friends who have the same issue where they and their siblings raise their kids very differently and I can tell they are frustrated when they disagree with their sibs about how children should be raised.

[Melaine]

What does that even mean? I can understand why you would be a little bothered by her attitude! People often say things, even just teasing, about babies that startles me! No matter how difficult it is to be a mother, it is hard for me to imagine not being tender and patient with your LO at that age!

[mommylamb]

So, I'd never use the term "smackdown," but I can understand forcing the baby to take a bottle. we really struggled with DS when he was that age, and I was getting ready to go back to work, so we really had no choice. I was freaking out that my son would starve to death, but you know what? they don't do that. They start taking a bottle when they're hungry enough. For us, it was a necessity because I couldnt' stay home with him (and he was a little older than your sister's baby).

[sste]

I could completely see myself using the word smackdown in kind of a funny, teasing way - - I wouldn't mean that I would actually hit a baby or be cruel. But, it would be a way of saying this is a line in the sand and I am getting serious about baby taking the bottle even if it means some crying in the process because we can't go on like this.

I am also into yoga and massages, however, maybe its a personality profile! And I started doing a modified CIO (as in 5-15 minutes before naps and bedtime) at six months.

Just throwing this out there, but maybe your sister talks a big game but doesn't really act like that when she is with her DCs.

[maestramommy]

Around here we call it bottle bootcamp!;) If your sister is really intent on doing this, tell her she must leave her house or her baby will smell her, defeating her purpose.

[KBecks]

It is so frustrating to see parents have the attitude that the child is the enemy -- and to put it in those words! Very sad.

[shawnandangel]

What is CIO? I couldn't find it in the abbreviations thread.

[KBecks]

cry it out

[DrSally]

That's harsh, but I've heard that attitude before--i.e., making a baby do something. I'm all for "encouraging", but don't feel like you really can "force" a baby to do something productively. I wouldn't be surprised if baby waits it out until mama gets home.