when is right age for preschool

[m4mjay]

I have no idea about preschool: when it’s too early to start, when kids ‘should’ start, if kids really need it at all. I’m hoping you, the good parents here, can shed some light on this topic for me. I am a stay-at-home mom. Because of my at-home situation, preschool/daycare is not a practical necessity at this point; however, I am beginning to wonder about the benefits. I’m mainly concerned about my daughter’s lack of social interaction with kids her own age, as well as with adult authority figures that aren’t Mom or Dad. In addition to our regular outings to kid-filled places like the zoo and park, she has one little friend that we see about once a week, she’s never uncomfortable or troubled in these situations, so it’s not that I’m worried there’s an existing issue, but I wonder at what age kids really need exposure to other kids and new environments outside of the home/family. All of this has led me to think about starting preschool/daycare around her 2nd birthday, possibly for 2 half days a week. I’d love to hear any advice you have to offer on the topic!
Clueless

[infomama]

Social interaction is very important but I think 2 is too young for preschool. We started DD1 when she was three (she turned 4 about a month later). It was her first experience with a large (there were 8 in the class) group of kids her age. She is thriving and will be heading to K next year!
I don't think kids "have to" attend preschool but it has been a very positive experience for us and wouldn't have it any other way.
GL

[Momof3Labs]

Is preschool even offered in your area at age 2? If not, your only option is part-time daycare but IME, those slots (especially only two half days) are not easy to find and are very expensive.

If you are worried about social interaction, then look for a meetup or moms' club in your area with regular playdates.

[KrisM]

We started at age 3. He's in year 2 now and will start full day K in the fall. I think even 1 year is plenty for social skills, etc to be learned.

He most definitely does learn stuff in preschool. It's stuff that I either haven't thought about teaching him or that he does not want to learn from me. They did a mock election (Big Bird vs. Cookie Monster) in November and talked about the inaugeration (sp?) yesterday. He has learned to completely get himself dressed to play outside in snow. No way would I get him to learn that as he just wants me to help! But, he does snow pants, boots, coat, hat and mittens. Lovely!

Our hardest thing was finding a preschool that is just a preschool and not also a day care. I really didn't want him in a daycare run preschool for various reasons. We found a great one and he loves it. DD will go next year when she's 3, too.

[AngelaS]

IME preschool isn't necessary.

[KrisM]

IME preschool isn't necessary.

Just curious, if you didn't do preschool, did they adjust well to being gone everyday once Kindergarten hit? DS is in preschool and I'm still worried about the fall and everyday all day.

[KrystalS]

My DD is in pre-k right now, mostly 4 yo, a couple of 3s. She had never been in a daycare/preschool situation prior to starting pre-k in Sept. She was really shy and very attached to me so I was really worried at first. However, she has done so great at school. She loves it and has really come out of her shell this year. She still has her shy moments but is a totally different kid socially. I think she would have enjoyed preschool at 3 but I think it would have been hard for her to be seperated from me. I'm happy that I waited to send her. All kids are different though.

[hellokitty]

I am in the minority. I don't start my kids until they are 4. I think one yr of preschool is enough, "practice" before K. However, just about everyone else I know started their child at 3, some even at age 2. What I would suggest is that you get involved with your local moms club. There are plenty of social activites for both moms and children, I think that it is a great option for SAHMs who worry about their kids getting, "socialized," but are not sure that they want to send them away to preschool or invest the time/$ in preschool when they are SAH and don't really need to send their kids away.

www.momsclub.org

[brittone2]

We are HSing, but if I did do preschool with DS, I would have only done one year. Some people say that it can be harder to get into certain preschool programs if you don't do the 3 year old year, so that's something to consider.

If you are doing it because you need a break, that's different IMO :)

[AngelaS]

Just curious, if you didn't do preschool, did they adjust well to being gone everyday once Kindergarten hit? DS is in preschool and I'm still worried about the fall and everyday all day.

I homeschool, so they're not gone all day. :) They do just fine if I leave them in Sunday School or at someone's house for a few hours tho. :)

[elektra]

I am trying to figure this out too. My situation is a bit different as I work full time and DD has a nanny. I was originally thinking that I would send DD to preschool in the fall when she would be 2 1/2. However, now I am leaning more towards waiting another year.
Reasoning:
-I love the nanny and I think DD is getting alot out of the one on one, including learning Spanish.
-Cost- I am having baby #2 and nanny will get the same amount of money whether DD is at preschool or at home with the nanny, as the nanny will be watching #2. So the preschool is an added expense.
- I have started looking at preschools and about 1/2 of the ones I looked into don't take kids under 3. I am also not sure if DD will be potty trained or not either (we don't seem close at this point of 22 months)
-DD gets alot of interaction with other kids at the park everyday and with her cousins
-I may enroll her in some kind of class this year like gymnastics or something that my dad can possibly take her to.

However, I have heard that preschool a few days a week can be a much needed break for SAHM's too. Just something else to consider as well.

[egoldber]

I don't think there is much benefit for *most children* for more than one year of preschool. However, sometimes *moms* need a break from their kids and a developmentally appropriate preschool that is play based is not harmful starting at age 2 and is preferable to mom going bonkers. :)

Also, you may find meet-ups more difficult starting at age 3 because many children do start preschool at age 3.

If you plan to send your child to school, then I would certainly say that a year of preschool is kind of a "requirement" rather than having that initial adjustment be in regular school which is generally a much less nurturing environment.

[MaddiesMommy]

I'm probably in the extreme minority, but both my girls started at two, well more like 2.5. They attend a cooperative preschool that has classes for 2 yr olds, 3 yr olds, and 4 yr olds. The 2 yr olds go twice a week, 3 yr olds go three days a week, and 4 yr olds go four days a week. Each class meets for 2.5 hours. I think it's a wonderful program and both of my girls love going to school. Since it's a cooperative preschool, I have to be the parent helper in the classroom about once a month. I enjoy spending time in the classroom and seeing how my dds interact with the other children and the teachers. It is such a wonderful social opportunity. The kids learn to work and play with each other one on one and as a group. I will admit that starting at 2 yrs old isn't for every child. I think some children just aren't ready and might be better off waiting an extra year. There is one boy in my dd's class who just turned two in early Oct. and I think he's a bit too young for the class. If you think your child is ready for preschool and there is one in your area that starts at two, then I say give it a try. Good luck with your decision.

[fivi2]

We will most likely only do one year of preschool before kinder, but mostly for financial reasons. I have twins and just can't do the cost times two right now. However, we have a co-op with friends that meets weekly, a weekly playgroup, a regular museum buddy, and weekly library story time. I do think my girls would love going somewhere two mornings a week (they just turned 3, I don't think they would have been ready any earlier), but we just can't do it right now.

One other thought, there are a ton of Mother's Day Out programs in my area (usually run by churches, but not always). A lot of those take young kids a couple mornings a week. I don't think they are usually academic, but I probably wouldn't worry about that for a two year old.

Also, look for programs through your parks and rec department, zoos, museums, etc. Some have drop off programs, some require parents to stick around, but they can be a great option.

[randomkid]

I think it depends. Is your DD an only? Will you be having more children? I don't think she would need to start at 2yo, but by 3yo, I think you might start to feel like I did. DD was in in-home daycare from 2.5yo to 3.5yo and there were 2 kids there close to her age, but older. She enjoyed playing with them, but was perfectly happy to be home with me. However, around the time she was approaching 3, it became clear to me that she needed more social interaction and I was glad she had her two little friends at the sitter's. At the end of her first year there, the older kids were leaving to go to preK, so I put DD in a 3yo class (she was 3years/7months) She absolutely loves it! If I had a choice, I'd have her in the part-time program, but I work 3-4 days/week and need the longer hours of the full-time class. DD would still prefer to stay home with me, but I can't play with her all day like she wants me to. I keep her home with me on my days off and she goes to school when I work. She really enjoys it and I have seen some definite benefits from it. DD is an only child and I can see that she gets bored on her own sometimes. I'm glad she has her friends at school and has the opportunity for b-day parties, field trips, holiday events, etc.

I wanted to wait until DD was 4, but I'm now glad it has worked out this way. She does get sick often, but not as bad as she did the first time we tried daycare at 19 months. We made it 4 months and I took her out - we used a sitter and my parents for a year, then the in-home DCP. I would say that illness would be my primary reason for recommending that you wait until your DD is older. They just seem to do better when they are older. Plus, the other kids that have been there a long time don't get sick as often, so there isn't as much to be exposed to.

FWIW, DDs class is not truly preschool, but more of a daycare. There is not a lot of focus on academics in her class - they play *a lot*. We looked at a private school and there was too much focus on academics, IMO, so we didn't put her there. Next year, in the 4yo class, they will do a lot more to prep for K, but I feel like this school has a nice balance and isn't too strict on the academics. They do a good job, but want the kids to play and have fun as well. Honestly, DD is home more than she is at school, and she tells me she doesn't want to go when she has to, but once she's there, she has so much fun and really enjoys being with the other kids.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Most programs start at 3yo though some schools have earlier age programs.

We did 3 for ds1. Ds2 will be starting when he is 20 months. Now that I have a taste for preschool (and the 2.5 hours of freedom 2 mornings/ week :)) I am happy to start him earlier. I know he'll have fun. It's a great, developmentally appropriate school with no turn over and small class sizes.

I don't do preschool for any lofty reasons. I don't think that it will prepare him to ace kindergarten or something. I do it because it is fun and they get to do things there that I don't do at home. I would love to be that awesome, full time hands on mom always doing some fun craft project, playing outside, exploring some neat new topic...but I am not that mom. I do a fine job and do provide a pretty fun, enriching environment but I like that at preschool he gets to do things we just don't do at home because of my temperament and lifestyle.

Beth

[tylersmama]

I'm planning on starting DS next fall, at 3. I know that he doesn't *need* to go, but I really think it will be a good thing for him. The socialization is a huge thing for me, as he doesn't get a ton of that at the moment. But the other big thing is that I really think he needs more intellectual stimulation than I feel like I can give him at home. I've noticed lately that he's happy and content when he's doing things like puzzles, but if he's just playing, it doesn't last long and that's when we start having behavioral issues (like throwing toys and hitting the dog). I know that *I* could do more to intellectually stimulate him, but quite honestly, I don't feel organized or disciplined enough to do so...a big reason why I can't seriously consider homeschooling. I would be a TERRIBLE teacher!

I found a parent co-op preschool that I LOVE and am 90% sure we're going to register for (unless the last preschool I have a tour at really wows me tomorrow). It's only two 2 1/2 hour days/week, parents are in the classroom and are very involved in everything. I feel like it's the perfect starting point for preschool. Then, when he's 4, we can up him to three half-days or maybe even four before kindergarten.

[JBaxter]

Our montessori offers a 2yr old program. We sent Nathan when he was 2yrs 10mo to the 2 morning a week program. He was speech delayed and it encouraged him to use his words to communicate. He did 3 mornings a week last year and 5 mornings a week this year. Next year he will be in full day kindergarten.

[Pennylane]

I started my oldest when she was 3, but she has a late birthday and my others at 2. I honestly did it just because I wanted them to be around other children and make friends! When they were 2 , they only went 2 mornings a week for 3 hours. They both loved it and I have no regrets! I didn't do it for me, I did it for them!They love their teachers and friends so much and ask on their days off to go to school!

I have two DF's that teach kindergarten and first grade and they both say they call tell a big difference in the children that have attended preschool and those that have not. Although I totally think that parents can teach their children the same thing at home.

So much depends on the personality of your DC. I would never have sent my older dd at 2, she just would not have been ready.

Ann

[BabyMine]

Our son was also 2 when he started a montessori school and was speech delayed. We started 2 days a week for 4 days then went up to 3 hours a day. It was a great experience for both me and my son. I got to learn the everone there. He loved the social skills. He has some medical issues and everyone got to know them early on. As he progressed to other classes they already knew what to expect. He also got to move into the other classes with kids he already knew from the previous class. I also did it because I needed a break, and I have a chronic illness that requires frequent visits to the Dr so it gave me the time to go by myself.

[niccig]

Everyone has their own reasons for or not for preschool. You need to work out what you want for your DC and your family.

I'm pro-preschool, I think DS has learned much there that I would have struggled with. I know my strengths and my weaknesses. I like that some things school has taught him and I reinforce it and I have time to spend on other areas.

He is an only child and even though we did classes, play groups, a parent-ed class where we both went to class, I like that he gets to interact with children on his own without me there. We still do our playgroups and our classes in addition to preschool.

I like that he has formed friendships on his own without me or DH initiating it, all his other friends are kids of our friends, but his preschool friends are the kids in his class that he decided to be friends with.

DS has been exposed to things at preschool and over time he has decided to participate. DS can take time to warm up to new things, he hated the optional dance class, so we took him out and he got to play outside with the other kids that didn't go. But he saw the kids that did go to dance and have fun, and out of the blue asked to try it again, and he loves it.

I wanted him to start at age 3, and that would have been after the Sept. start date, and it is difficult to get a spot at the preschool we wanted, as they have full classes. So, he started at 2 yo 9 months. We started just 3 mornings a week, and for us it was a perfect balance of 9 hours a week away from Mum and 159 hours a week with Mum - counting sleeping time in that total of 168 hours a week. We're now in our second year and he asked to stay longer so he can play more with his friends. I'm arranging some part-time work during those preschool hours, which is good for me and for our finances. It's worked out really well for us.

ETA. Not all preschools require children to be potty trained. Ours doesn't, and it's one of the reasons I choose it. They let the children led on this and other issues. It meant we didn't have to force potty training on DS if he wasn't ready. Other friends stressed about this. We just let DS try when he wanted to try, the preschool worked with him, including accidents etc. One of DS friends is in pre-K and he isn't potty-trained - he has some medical issues that have delayed potty training, and the school isn't pushing him, and is working with his parents to encourage him when he wants to try.

[maestramommy]

Dora is in a 2yo class, but only because of the cutoff date in our state (missed it by a day). Most of her classmates will turn 3 this year. She just started, and I think it's good for her. If we had moved earlier she probably would've started in the fall. She's about average in terms of physical size compared to her classmates, and I wouldn't be surprised if she's also average in terms of her developmental milestones, so this is a good start for her.

Some kids do start at 2 and do well (a lot of Dora's friends back in CA did that), but for HER I think 2 would've been too early. She was still too shy and introverted. Just wouldn't have been a good experience for her. She was still crying when we dropped her off at church nursery at that time. When we started her in school a couple of weeks ago, the teacher said she did great, seemed like she had always been there. It made me feel a lot better about enrolling her.

Just wanted to add that one requirement for us was that they not require potty training. We found two that didn't, although the school Dora goes to doesn't change poop diapers, they will call the parent.

As a funny side note, when I was pregnant with Dora, two of my 7th grade students came to me at the end of the year and told me their advice was to send my kids to preschool for 3 years. I guess they both went for three years, and they thought it was very important to a child's development/education :hysterical: You'd have to know my school and the kids to understand. So earnest. And very sweet, they were among my favorites. How I miss them!

[SnuggleBuggles]

ETA. Not all preschools require children to be potty trained. Ours doesn't, and it's one of the reasons I choose it. They let the children led on this and other issues. It meant we didn't have to force potty training on DS if he wasn't ready. Other friends stressed about this. We just let DS try when he wanted to try, the preschool worked with him, including accidents etc. One of DS friends is in pre-K and he isn't potty-trained - he has some medical issues that have delayed potty training, and the school isn't pushing him, and is working with his parents to encourage him when he wants to try.

Ditto on the potty training. In fact, I ruled out any school that required it because I wanted a more developmental preschool, one that accepted that kids will hit skills at different ages and not to rush them. That criteria narrowed down my choices a lot- and I was very happy with the schools that made the cut.

Beth

[jenmcadams]

Ditto on the potty training. In fact, I ruled out any school that required it because I wanted a more developmental preschool, one that accepted that kids will hit skills at different ages and not to rush them. That criteria narrowed down my choices a lot- and I was very happy with the schools that made the cut.

Beth

Just wanted to "third" this. Both my DCs started around age 2 at a university-based Reggio Emilia Inspired lab school/daycare that just fits my views on play-based early childhood education. He went two days a week at age two and also two days a week at age three (I'll probably do 3 days per week at age 4, but haven't decided). While I feel some stress about the fact that he barely has any potty awareness at age 3 1/2, I'm so happy we're not in a situation where we had to force him to potty learn earlier than he was ready.

[Asianmommy]

It's such an individual decision. You have to do what you're comfortable with and what your child is comfortable with. We started DD1 at 1/2 day preschool twice a week at age 2 1/2, mainly because I was about to deliver DD2, and I wanted her to have some fun stuff to do and some kids to hang out with while I was busy with the baby. It also gave me some time to focus on the baby and some time to rest, as well. It worked out great for us. She had a great time there and had experiences that I couldn't have provided at home.

[tylersmama]

The preschool we're probably going to go with technically requires that they be potty-trained, but the director said it wasn't a big deal at all. She said that they just require that they wear pull-ups if they're not potty-trained and they can't change poopy diapers, so they'll call a parent if that happens. She really decreased my stress level about that since DS has zero interest at this point!

[ged]

I am struggling with the same thing, but not for a 2 year old. IMO, 2 year old is still young and I think you are doing a great job, and that she probably has enough social interaction.

I am in the San Diego area and here there are some great parent-ed classes sponsored by the community college system. We have been doing that since she was a little over 1. My DD is now almost 4 and we are just beginning to seriously consder pre-school/Pre-K. I think 1 year is more than enough, but we might start this semester at 2 days/week due to some potential family changes (and we don't want her to feel pushed out in the Fall. The preschool we are considering will most likely require 4 days/week in the Fall, and I am not sure I want to do that. Once she goes to K, she will be gone e-v-e-r-y day, and just seems like I will never see her again ( I know that's not true, but I just want to take advantage of my time at home with her until it is no longer).

[mommysammi]

DS started preschool at 2.5 and was not even close to being potty trained. The school was great with potty training him. The school was great in every aspect, from encouraging the students to play together to disciplining them. But if I can do it all over again, I would've waited another year to send DS to preschool. I say this because DS was not very good at communicating to me what happened at school. I didn't expect him to tell me every detail but I just wanted to know what he did for that day. More importantly, I want to know how bruises or cuts appeared on his body. I know toddlers can get hurt very easily and may be minor but I still wanted to know. He is now 4 and tells me almost everything about preschool.

With DD, I will definitely wait until she is about 3.5 or 4 to send her to preschool. I'm probably in the minority but I'm very paranoid about those sick ppl who take advantage of little girls especially when those little girls have no clue what's being done to them (read one too many articles). That's why I'm even more scared to send DD to preschool early if at all. DS learned about strangers early on but probably didn't understand what's inappropriate behavior. Even now, when I tell him not to let other ppl touch his body parts, he just laughs.

Like others have said, there are lots of groups you can attend to help build DC's social skills. Just going to the park and library regularly will let you meet a lot of other regulars.

[SASM]

Sorry...I haven't read the other responses so I am not sure if this has already been overly addressed. Readiness for PS varies greatly from child to child ~ age, gender, order of birth, personality. I am assuming that DD is your first. I started DC1 (DS) in a standard PS (not montessori, etc) in the 3yo (he was 3.5) class for 2 AMs a week. This was perfect for him. He continued on with the 4yo (he wa 4.5) class the following year for 3 AMs a week. At this point he was really ready for 5 AMs. He has always been a VERY social little guy and LOVED being there. I will say that he did not learn very much academically (issues) but he did gain alot in other ways ~ classroom etiquette, listening to teacher's authority, sharing, taking turns, etc.

DC2 (DD) started PS at 2.5 in the 2's class for 2 AMs a week. She could have easily gone 3 AMs but it wasn't an option for this age group. She was MUCH more advanced than DS at that age (still is), as she was obviously a second child and a girl. She is also a VERY social child. This year we are in a new school/town and at 3.5yo she is in a 5 AM/week program. I ONLY put her in this program b/c she was sooooooo ready for it, esp since DS started all-day K this year. DC3 isn't anywhere near PS age yet.

Some 2yo's might not be ready for PS. ALL of the 2yos (total of 7) in DDs class had older sibs. Some had some separation issues on occasion, although you have to remember that they are two. The PS also had a 2.5yo class with 12 kids and 2 teachers.

If your 2yo DD gets a fair amount of stimulation/socialization through playgroups, storytime, playground meetups, zoo time, and/or mall playgrounds, she should be fine to put it off PS to 3yo or even 4yo, that is if you think she isn't quite ready. I do hear you about the authority issue and I think that is a very valid point but ther is always 3 and 4yo programs to get used to the classroom. She is only 2 once. :) Some PS hrs hit right in the middle of naptime, which can be a HUGE issue to a 2yo. For me, naps are soooo much more important than PS at 2yo. JMO...

ETA: The main reason why I put DD1 in a program at age 2 was b/c she REALLY wanted to do what big brother was doing. If it was "just DD" I would have held her PS experience until age 3 ~ like I mentioned...they are only 2 once and it is a great age, w/ the exception of the tantrums! :) Oh...I will say that an added bonus to 2yo program is that they helped with potty training. :)