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View Full Version : Matron of Honor duty 2mo after giving birth?



gavsmompa
01-21-2009, 11:46 PM
Need some advice. Was just asked by my dear sis to be her matron of honor for her upcoming wedding. I am honored. My only issue is that I am concerned that it will be stressful given that I am currently pregnant and her wedding is a couple of months after my due date. I told her I would think about it. I feel like it would be hard to say no to this because she is my one and only sister but yet I am worried that it will be very hectic for me. What would you do in this situation?

elektra
01-21-2009, 11:54 PM
It will be a bit hectic, but doable if it's something you want to do. If you are not planning on breastfeeding then it should be way easier though.
If you are BF, I would make sure that your sis is fine with you having your baby at the wedding from the very beginning getting ready, all the way through the reception. You will just need to take breaks to feed her, and I would even try and pump some bottles beforehand that someone else can feed the baby if you can't get to her right when she is hungry.
But it's very possible that you can just feed her as close to the start of the ceremony as possible and then hand her off and walk down the aisle. She may even just peacefully sleep through the whole thing in your DH's arms!
And this might be a stretch but while looking for bridesmaid's dresses, maybe push for a more breastfeeding friendly top?
I think you will be fine overall. :)

cono0507
01-22-2009, 12:06 AM
I did that 3 mo post partum. She invited my husband's parents and they and DH cared for DS while I was busy with wedding duties. Her reception location had a bride's room/lounge that i used for pumping - it was easier for me to pump when i had a chance rather than make DS wait if i was busy with wedding things. it worked out great.

writermama
01-22-2009, 12:10 AM
I was matron of honor 3 months after giving birth. Yes, it was stressful, but absolutely do-able.

Measuring for the dress was a challenge, we guessed big and altered down. If your sis is willing to let you wear any kind of a dress as long as it is a certain color to match other bridesmaids, that would be easier.

We brought the baby to the church and used the nursery. My parents watched her during the ceremony. I fed her at the last possible moment before getting into my dress, did the ceremony, did the pictures, and then used a private room at the reception location to take off the dress (not BF- friendly) and feed her again.

I'd recommend bringing a pump (even a manual) so you can express if you need to at a time when baby isn't interested.

As far as other things, planning a shower, bachelorette, etc, you will probably need help (or maybe you won't, but I did. Fortunately, the other maids were happy to step up.).

If you want to do it, do it.

pinay
01-22-2009, 01:21 AM
Wasn't the MOH, but did serve as a bridesmaid for a friend when my DD was 2 1/2 mths old. It was hectic, but it worked out fine. Since it's your sister's wedding, I'm sure you'll have lots of willing hands to help with the baby or with wedding stuff.

MamaMolly
01-22-2009, 01:41 AM
If you can pick either do a 2 piece top and skirt kind of dress or a wrap dress if you are planning to BF. I think it will be stressful, any wedding will be, but if you and sis come to an understanding of what you can do (walk down the aisle, hold her flowers, be in the photos) and what you will need to delegate (party planning, etc) then I think it will make it much more doable. I was brain dead at 2 months after having DD (zilch sleep, thanks to reflux), but I could have been in a wedding, if that is all I had to do for it.

elephantmeg
01-22-2009, 08:09 AM
I did it at about 4 months and a friend of mine who had twins did it at about 2-3 months! My SIL was a young-just granduated from collage-bride and so were the rest of the wedding party-except me. I felt VERY old with my breast pump :) And I got permission not to sit at the head table and to change clothes into a skirt/blouse after the wedding and pics. I got fitted at 6 months pregnant and then did alterations. DS SCREAMED about half way through the wedding (my bro and now SIL were there and had him) and I was glad I had pumped recently! I wore lily pads under my strapless dress. It was kinda nice- I was on maternity leave during all the showers etc so I had time to plan (first DC and he slept some!), write invites etc.

KBecks
01-22-2009, 08:51 AM
She's your sister. I would do it, but talk with her about what you can and can't do support-wise for her. You may not be able to do all the MOH stuff. Also, gowns are a PITA for breastfeeding, you'll need to get nearly undressed to nurse, but just be prepared for that. You will need help with the baby, and you may want to leave a little early, etc. Just let her know your limits.

kboyle
01-22-2009, 09:23 AM
i was MOH 1.5mos after having ds2. her mom hosted the bridal shower, so i didn't have to stress about doing that while pregnant. her bachelorette was 2 wks after i had max, i brought my small manual pump and we danced the night away. i didn't have any problems with any of it. my MIL had the kids since my parents were at the wedding also. i just made sure to pump often. i wore lilypadz under my dress.

actually 8 days after i had max we had another wedding to attend and that went smoothtly too. just don't get stressed or set high expectations on what you can do. everyone KNOWS that you'll be stressed & tired, don't worrya bout it :)

Melaine
01-22-2009, 09:25 AM
I would certainly do it. It's your sister! Stressful, but worthwhile.

caleymama
01-22-2009, 09:48 AM
I would do it. I think with a little planning you could manage it fine.

I was a bridesmaid in a very dear friend's wedding 12 days after having DD1. The most stressful part was the 8 hour drive to get there that turned into a 12 hour drive with traffic, etc. DD was fabulous - still in sleep, eat, poop mode at that point. The wedding was in my hometown and my parents still lived there, so I was able to have a good "home base" nearby. We took DD to the actual ceremony (DH was not in the wedding), but that was more b/c people wanted to meet her. After the ceremony and some pictures we went back to my parents house and I nursed her and then left her with my parents & sister (and every relative within a 15 mile radius!! since DD was the first grandchild) and some bottles of expressed milk to go to the reception, which was about 20 minutes away. I took my Isis pump with me and pumped a little in the car at one point to relieve engorgement. Same for the rehearsal dinner the night before. We did bow out of the reception & rehearsal dinner relatively early b/c I was tired - we just didn't hang around for all the partying - but were there for all of the important parts and then some and everyone understood. The MOH (bride's older sister) was very pregnant - due within the month, so we were quite a crew.

As for the dress, I ordered the bridesmaid dress in a 12. Pre-preg I was anywhere between a 4 and an 8 and I gained 40 lbs w/ pregnancy. Since the dress was with my Mom in another state and there was no way for me to have it altered ahead of time I made arrangements with a tailor up there to do a very last minute alteration. I had my parents take the dress to the tailor and literally on our way into town the day before the wedding we stopped there first. I was just hoping that the dress wasn't too small - nothing I would be able to do about that! It fit perfectly and didn't need any alterations.

Good luck and enjoy!

KrisM
01-22-2009, 10:13 AM
I got married 3 months after my nephew was born. My sister-in-law was my Matron of Honor. She did fine. Her parents were invited to the wedding (would have been anyway) and I also asked her if she had someone else she'd like to invite to help with the kids (had a 3 year old, too). So, her good friend came and helped out. Mostly, the baby slept in his carseat, underneath a table :). The friend took the 3 year old back to the hotel early so my brother and SIL could stay.

neeleymartin
01-22-2009, 10:45 AM
i was the matron of honor for my sis 2 weeks after giving birth. i HAD to do it. other bridesmaids were very helpful and understood the circumstances. it turned out to be a great time. we left the reception early but great time had by all. go for it. just let her know that you may need to share the respon. with others. have fun.

jjordan
01-22-2009, 11:23 AM
Do it. One of my sisters got married 6 weeks after dd's birth and another got married 6 weeks after ds's birth. I was a bridesmaid for both. People don't really expect as much of you given the circumstances! :)

Jill

gavsmompa
01-22-2009, 11:29 AM
Thank you all for your advice! I so badly want to be the MOH as she was my MOH at my wedding 10 yrs ago but was just freaking out about the stress. I will accept and make sure that I make it clear that some of the duties may have to be delegated. I do plan to breastfeed so that will make it tricky, but I think pumping my milk will help.
We go this weekend to pick out bridesmaids dresses. I am usually btw a size 4-8 so I will just order larger and keep in mind the fact that probably any dress she chooses probably willl require work in terms of feeding etc. Thank you all!

hellokitty
02-14-2009, 06:22 PM
gavsmopa,

I wanted to let you know that I will be in the same exact boat as you are. My best friend just came to my son's bday party last wknd and that's when I told her I was pg. I am sure it caught her off guard (this is baby #3, most probably assumed we were finished having babies), but she did ask me later on after the party if I would be her MOH. I am thrilled, BUT I will be anywhere btwn 1-1.5 mo postpartum when the baby arrives. I always BF my babies, so I am really stressed about that part and feeling like I will be ducking out a lot to disrobe to BF. I am going to give my friend a call to let her know my concerns. She doesn't have any kids, so has no idea what is involved with having a newborn and BFing. I will give her the opportunity to choose someone else to be the MOH if she isn't comfortable with the fact that the baby has to come to the wedding (I will send my older two kids to my in laws, who live in the city the wedding is at) and be BF'd frequently. As long as she is ok with this, we should be fine. However, I have no idea if she realizes that newborns usually BF at least every 2 hrs. I'm just hoping that this baby will be a quick nurser and I'll be able to find a dress that will fit me ok, b/c I know I will be huge up top and I'm stressed about finding a dress that can accomodate my nursing bra.

wellyes
02-14-2009, 08:41 PM
The ONLY concern I would have is if your new LO being the center of attention will annoy your sis. That's not to say she is shallow like that......... just that being a bride-to-be does crazy things to some women. If she has a good head on her shoulders, you'll be fine.

What a happy time for your family. Congratulations!!

nicanddrew
02-15-2009, 03:54 AM
Glad you decided to go for it.

I was my sis's MOH 19 days after adopting our daughter. I was BF and only got to pump twice and thought my boobs were going to explode by the end of the reception :). The other bridesmaids were very understanding and did almost all the work for the bridal shower. I mailed the invites and had another one gather the RSVPs. DH was great and kept the baby as sequestered as he could (we were trying to keep her world very small during the adjustment/attachement period). The most stressful part was not getting any sleep, but we managed and I felt like she's my only sister and it was worth it.

Melbel
02-15-2009, 09:13 AM
Another vote of confidence...

I was only 6 weeks post CS delivery w/ DS while serving as the MOH for a friend. As for the dress, I ordered 2 sizes higher than my pre-prego size and then altered down. As it turned out, I lost the pregnancy weight right away, but it was redistributed and my boobs were huge due to BF. The larger size helped us to alter as needed. I pumped and bottle fed on the wedding day and DH helped with the baby during the ceremony/pictures. I would definitely get someone else to plan any showers and allow you to help out to the extent you are able. At 2 MO, babies still sleep most of the time and are very portable. You will likely be tired, but it really is doable and you will always treasure the memories.

TonFirst
02-15-2009, 10:13 AM
I stood in a very good friend's wedding 7 weeks post-partum (it was a c-section! and a destination wedding! where's my medal?). It was worth it, completely, and it would be even more so for an only sister. Yeah, there's some hassle factor involved, but when isn't there with a wedding? The dress was strapless, which made for easy nursing, and my husband and parents kept the baby during the ceremony. I wore her in my hotsling during the reception. I ordered the dress when I was about 4 months pregnant, and my post-partum dimensions were pretty similar - allow plenty of room for the milk trucks!

gordo
02-16-2009, 09:13 PM
It will be hectic, but definitely doable. I was a bridesmaid in my best friends wedding 4 weeks after my c-section. My oldest DD was also a flower girl. As long as your sister is understanding, I am sure it was fine. I just had to keep my baby with me all day while getting hair/make-up done etc since I was nursing. My DH was fabulous with coming and going to take the girls to and from where ever I needed while I was taking pics, etc. It was fun and I am so glad I did it.