amldaley
01-23-2009, 09:20 AM
Dear Neighbor,
Congratulations on the birth of your son 5 weeks ago. Yes, it is a miracle - he was a preemie and the cord was around his neck and arm. It's wonderful that you are breastfeeding. I am sorry to hear he has colic.
However, the fact is, you make your own problems.
For example, when I offered to bring you a couple of meals when you first came home from the hospital but I drove over to find you gone....you took your newborn out to town, 25 miles away, to buy more pacifiers and to get dinner out. Hmmm...I guess I just don't think taking a three day old baby out to town for dinner is the best idea.
What do you mean you didn't know feedings where timed start to start? We took the same breastfeeding class from the same LC. But even so...I know I told you myself several times in those first two weeks when you kept calling me with breastfeeding issues. So, the fact that you were starving yor kid b/c he wanted to eat every two hours but you just though he was screaming is a problem of your own making.
What do you mean you are supplementing with formula? If you fed him more ofetn, you wouldn't have to. And your doctor said to supplement every other nursing, but you decided to only breastfeed every third? Wait, what's that? Your milk is drying up?
What do you mean you "tried" to give up dairy but it's "like, in everything. It's even in my Lean Cuisine meals". Why are you eating Lean Cuisine, anyway? Oh, poor you, you think rice milk tastes like rice. So, you are just not eating dairy for two to three hours before you nurse him? I seem to remember explaining to you that milk proteins stay in your system for 1 -2 weeks...not hours. It's just too hard for you, huh?
Gee, I'm sorry he wakes up every day at 0445. I forgot to tell you that he doesn't know how to read a clock yet.
Hey, remember before he was born and you swore you would never let him sleep with you? And then I explained that for nursing, and b/c he was a preemie, you might be better off with a bassinet in your room in the beginning? What's that? He likes to snuggle? That's crazy! I have never heard of a newborn wanting contact with his mother. Your son is some sort of unique child.
Oh, by the way, when you call my house and I don't answer, it's b/c we are napping, or busy. And when you leave me a message asking for information, then blast your cell phone number at me without saying please or thank you...guess what, I am not rushing for a pen and paper when I am up to my elbows in poop with my own child just to dial you back on your cell phone to tell you the name of a product that I have not only mentioned many times, and sent you the website for, but that you could easily Google yourself.
Oh, yeah, remember all those e-mails I sent with resources...like breastfeeding and sleeping and colic support? I know for a fact you haven't read them when you call me and complain about something and ask for a solution and it is something I have already sent you. EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Wait. you mean you found a Ped that says he knows about breastfeeding and obviously doesn't? Oh, but you are too good to go to the Naval Hospital, you have to have a Dr out in town.
Please, dear neighbor, I feel so sorry for your son, and that is why I have been so patient with you. That is why I threw a baby shower for you when no one else would. That is why I answer the phone every time your number shows up on my caller ID and listen to you babble about stuff that is wrong, wrong, wrong. I feel so very sad for your little son.
But I no longer feel sorry for you. You make your own problems. You made it clear you did not want to have a baby to begin with. And we hoped motherhood would soften you. It has, I suppose, in that you no longer say stupid things like you refuse to hold him or that you will make your DH do all the work b/c he wanted the baby, not you. But it hasn't made you anymore willing to sacrifice your comfort. It hasn't made you willing to do what it takes to soothe and nourish and nurture your baby. You want a miracle fix, a magic pill. Switch doctors over and over. But stop calling me and asking for help if you are not willing to actually follow my advice. You are lazy and selfish. Oh, you can't do without cheese...really? Cheese is more important that your baby? You expect him to sleep through the night? Really? Have you never heard, read about, spoken with parents, of newborns????
So, dear neighbor, I am no longer answering the phone. And the answer to every question you ask me will be "I don't know."
Best of luck to you. And my prayers are with your son.
Signed,
Your dairy-free neighbor who is still exclusively nursing at 6 months and has her own daughter and her own life to worry about....
Congratulations on the birth of your son 5 weeks ago. Yes, it is a miracle - he was a preemie and the cord was around his neck and arm. It's wonderful that you are breastfeeding. I am sorry to hear he has colic.
However, the fact is, you make your own problems.
For example, when I offered to bring you a couple of meals when you first came home from the hospital but I drove over to find you gone....you took your newborn out to town, 25 miles away, to buy more pacifiers and to get dinner out. Hmmm...I guess I just don't think taking a three day old baby out to town for dinner is the best idea.
What do you mean you didn't know feedings where timed start to start? We took the same breastfeeding class from the same LC. But even so...I know I told you myself several times in those first two weeks when you kept calling me with breastfeeding issues. So, the fact that you were starving yor kid b/c he wanted to eat every two hours but you just though he was screaming is a problem of your own making.
What do you mean you are supplementing with formula? If you fed him more ofetn, you wouldn't have to. And your doctor said to supplement every other nursing, but you decided to only breastfeed every third? Wait, what's that? Your milk is drying up?
What do you mean you "tried" to give up dairy but it's "like, in everything. It's even in my Lean Cuisine meals". Why are you eating Lean Cuisine, anyway? Oh, poor you, you think rice milk tastes like rice. So, you are just not eating dairy for two to three hours before you nurse him? I seem to remember explaining to you that milk proteins stay in your system for 1 -2 weeks...not hours. It's just too hard for you, huh?
Gee, I'm sorry he wakes up every day at 0445. I forgot to tell you that he doesn't know how to read a clock yet.
Hey, remember before he was born and you swore you would never let him sleep with you? And then I explained that for nursing, and b/c he was a preemie, you might be better off with a bassinet in your room in the beginning? What's that? He likes to snuggle? That's crazy! I have never heard of a newborn wanting contact with his mother. Your son is some sort of unique child.
Oh, by the way, when you call my house and I don't answer, it's b/c we are napping, or busy. And when you leave me a message asking for information, then blast your cell phone number at me without saying please or thank you...guess what, I am not rushing for a pen and paper when I am up to my elbows in poop with my own child just to dial you back on your cell phone to tell you the name of a product that I have not only mentioned many times, and sent you the website for, but that you could easily Google yourself.
Oh, yeah, remember all those e-mails I sent with resources...like breastfeeding and sleeping and colic support? I know for a fact you haven't read them when you call me and complain about something and ask for a solution and it is something I have already sent you. EVERY SINGLE TIME.
Wait. you mean you found a Ped that says he knows about breastfeeding and obviously doesn't? Oh, but you are too good to go to the Naval Hospital, you have to have a Dr out in town.
Please, dear neighbor, I feel so sorry for your son, and that is why I have been so patient with you. That is why I threw a baby shower for you when no one else would. That is why I answer the phone every time your number shows up on my caller ID and listen to you babble about stuff that is wrong, wrong, wrong. I feel so very sad for your little son.
But I no longer feel sorry for you. You make your own problems. You made it clear you did not want to have a baby to begin with. And we hoped motherhood would soften you. It has, I suppose, in that you no longer say stupid things like you refuse to hold him or that you will make your DH do all the work b/c he wanted the baby, not you. But it hasn't made you anymore willing to sacrifice your comfort. It hasn't made you willing to do what it takes to soothe and nourish and nurture your baby. You want a miracle fix, a magic pill. Switch doctors over and over. But stop calling me and asking for help if you are not willing to actually follow my advice. You are lazy and selfish. Oh, you can't do without cheese...really? Cheese is more important that your baby? You expect him to sleep through the night? Really? Have you never heard, read about, spoken with parents, of newborns????
So, dear neighbor, I am no longer answering the phone. And the answer to every question you ask me will be "I don't know."
Best of luck to you. And my prayers are with your son.
Signed,
Your dairy-free neighbor who is still exclusively nursing at 6 months and has her own daughter and her own life to worry about....