Kindy in Montessori or Public School

[neeter]

Hi all -- I'm wondering if any of you can provide some insight. DS is 5, in his last year in preschool at a Montessori school. We have a choice of either letting him continue with the school for kindergarten, or going to public school. The expense is one big consideration, however, so are academics and social readiness for a big transition. Our school district is good, though I haven't been able to take a tour yet (probably in a month). I'm wondering if anyone has been through this debate before, and would love to hear what you decided, and whether it worked for you. Thanks in advance!

[egoldber]

IMO, I would put him in K at the school where you plan to continue his education. They do a lot of work and help with K children for the transition to school, learning their way around, reduced expectations, etc. They typically do NOT do much if any transition help with incoming first graders. JMO based on our experience with a very difficult transition from private K to public first.

[Twoboos]

IMO, I would put him in K at the school where you plan to continue his education.

Beth, I know you've said this before and I just wanted to say thanks for this thought. I've been struggling w/deciding public vs. private K for DD1, and I keep coming back to this. She had a horrible time transitioning into Preschool, and I can't imagine her staying at her preschool for their K program, transitioning to 1st, then the next year changing to the other school where they house 2-4.

Even though it's a giant PITA and it's half day only that switches morning/aftn halfway through the year, we're doing public. (even though DH is horrified she'll go on the bus, but she'll be nearly 6 by then, and the bus is what she is SO excited about!)

[KBecks]

Montessori is meant to be 3 years, and in the K year seems to be the greatest for lesrning. Check out the threads in the M forum at Mothering.com. We plan to do the K year at M school.

[JBaxter]

We are on our 3rd year of montessori and will do K in public school. Our montessori only does through K and Nathan will have to transition at some point. For him public K will be the best thing

[pinkmomagain]

I don't think either way you would be making a huge mistake. But I kept dd1 in Montessori for Kindy. She was already reading pretty well and I didn't want her to lose that momentum. Boy was her 1st grade teacher (public school) impressed with her reading....she ended up sending her kids to Montessori after having my dd in the class. That being said, though, looking back, I don't think it would have harmed her if she went to Kindy in the public school.

[neeter]

Thanks, I appreciate all your points. Beth (and others) who dealt with a difficult transition to first grade, would you mind elaborating on what were the specific difficulties? Was it hard for your child to make friends?

My son tends to be on the shyer side, so part of me wants to leave him in M to gain confidence and mature, but then on the other hand, putting him in a situation where he could be only one of a few new kids if starting first grade would be bad for him as well...

Academics for the long term, I'm not too worried about. I've heard that while the M in K really ties everything together, if eventually your child is going to a non-M environment anyway, there isn't reinforcement so it tends to even out eventually. Though I do wonder if he would be bored in public-K.

Anyway, thanks again. Any other thoughts, I would appreciate. I will also check out mothering.com.

[egoldber]

Sarah is not necessarily shy, but she tends to be anxious and emotional in new situations. Her transition to first grade had lots of "firsts":

new (and much larger) school
new children (she knew no one in her grade and was one of only a small handful of new kids in first grade)
first time changing classrooms for specials, etc.
first time for homework

She had a very, very, very hard time socially and physically with the transition. She cried every day for about the first two weeks. She claimed to be "happy", but her teacher was very concerned and recommended sending her back to K which created a strain between her teacher and myself over this. It took until probably January/February for her to feel very comfortable and to start making friends. Once she made one good friend, it helped immensely.

At her school, they expect first graders (rightly or wrongly) to know the school and it's routines. They spend a great deal of time in K teaching and handholding through these transitions. They do none of that for first grade.

FWIW, none of her issues were academic. She entered first grade already reading at approximately a third grade level and at grade level or higher for all other subjects, so that was never an issue. But if she had not been an advanced reader, I suspect the school might have insisted on placing her back in K.

[AnnieW625]

If it were me I'd keep him in the Montessori through Kindergarten because that is the way that the program is designed. Those kids learn so much from school. However my mom who works at a school says that most kids will transition to a regular school fine from Montessori.

We have sorta okay Montessori schools in my area, and they all stop at third grade so I am opting to put Elisa in preschool and then send her to probably Catholic school, but if we had a good Montessori PK-6 school in our area I'd keep her there as long as possible.

[Mamma2004]

DS is in his second year of preschool at Montessori and I am wrestling with the same issues. He is not shy, per se, but "slow to warm" (a euphemism, but true). He struggles with change and the beginning of preschool was traumatic. He fell in love with it, though, so I started to think about keeping him at the M school for K. Given the virtually inevitable struggle to make the transition to public school in first grade, however, I think it is important to send him to public K - academically it is pathetic (though after K our public schools are supposedly outstanding) but for his social and personal development, it seems a necessary stepping stone.

Long response - sorry! My plan is to send him to 1/2 day K with the town and to send him three 1/2 days per week to M. It is a lot of time away from home but since he loves M, I hope that will be his "fun", just as it will be his only academic challenge. At the same time, he will have the opportunity to get acquainted with the public school's layout, the system and the students. A few of his M friends will also be in public K so he won't be the only five-year-old attending both schools.

Is this dual approach an option for you? While it is a lot of "school time", it would respond to a few of the concerns voiced by PPs and would still cost less that full-time M.

Let us know how your thinking process progresses - I know it feels like a huge, weighty decision!

[lisams]

Not Montessori, but we did keep DD in K at the child dev. center she has been going to since she was a toddler. She will be going to a different school for first grade because her current school only goes to K.

For me it was because I think the program is what K should be. I want to preserve her natural curiosity and learning and keep her in a place that I feel is best for her as long as I could. I want her to go one more year before the stress of our current trend in education sets in for her. I want her to play and not be overloaded with worksheets and homework. She'll get all of that, probably next year. For now I have no regrets at all keeping her where she is. She'll have to transition next year, but we'll deal with that then. For now I'm enjoying her loving school and learning through play.

Another thing, and I know this might sound terrible to some, but I wanted to keep her "sheltered" one more year. It's a unique situation where I feel like I know the other parents and families more than I would at a public school. I trust them, and feel comfortable around them. We chat at drop off and pick up. We know each others children, and more than just by name.

But, DD is a very outgoing child. She can make friends within five minutes and she is overall pretty good with new situations. My biggest concern is that she will have to learn to sit still and do more table work, but she would have had to learn that if she went to the public school here in K, so that's an unavoidable transition.

I think it's important to keep in mind the child's temperament. A "slow to warm up", reserved, easily stressed child may do better staying in the same place from K.

Good luck in your decision!!

[neeter]

Wow, I really appreciate this discussion...Beth I think my child is very very similar to yours -my DS is (already) anxious about a new school (yes, he's thinking 8 months away), and can get stressed out. He's brought it up twice that he wants to continue in M (though we haven't really even given him the option). Our local school would be much bigger, with all new people (none of his friends from D would attend DS' local school). Because of his personality, I'm inclined to leave him in M to let him be nurtured (and sheltered, which is a great way of putting it, lisams), though many of his friends will be heading off to K in other schools.

However, based on Beth's experience, it sounds like for a child with this sort of personality, its almost better to deal with these new issues when everyone else is dealing with them in K, than doing it almost solo in first grade? That is, that extra year of maturity really doesn't help much when confronted with alot of huge transitions?

Sorry I'm in sorta all over the place! Thanks for helping me think through this!!

ps - mamma2004 thanks for the suggestion for 1/2 of kindy and 1/2 M -- unfortunately our K program is full day only. that would be an ideal solution though!!

[sste]

Montessori in my neck of the woods can be like the tuition at a public college!! I am assuming yours is less expensive? Personally, if I was on the fence and saw positives to both programs, I would probably go with the public k and park the saved money in a 529 college fund . . .

[neeter]

No, unfortunately ours is super spendy too. We were already counting down to no more payments for preschool - I'd much rather save the money for college than spend it on K!!

[egoldber]

my DS is (already) anxious about a new school (yes, he's thinking 8 months away), and can get stressed out

Yes, Sarah is definitely like that. She anticipates big changes with a great deal of dread even when they are fun or exciting changes.

After she started first grade she told me several times she wished she could go back to K. She didn't realize that at her old school, it actually stopped at K, so that wasn't even really an option. She also sort of envisioned that all her old friends were still there and I had to emphasize to her that her old friends were also gone and had moved on to new schools. It was so very hard for her. It really broke my heart.

[dhano923]

DS did 1 year of preschool and now Kindergarten at Montessori. We are planning to move by next summer so that he can start 1st grade at the public school we are wanting him to go to.

[neeter]

Yes, Sarah is definitely like that. She anticipates big changes with a great deal of dread even when they are fun or exciting changes.

After she started first grade she told me several times she wished she could go back to K. She didn't realize that at her old school, it actually stopped at K, so that wasn't even really an option. She also sort of envisioned that all her old friends were still there and I had to emphasize to her that her old friends were also gone and had moved on to new schools. It was so very hard for her. It really broke my heart.

Thanks Beth. That is very very hard, and I'm sorry that she/your family had to go through that. I'm glad she's ok now. I appreciate you sharing this experience - I'm now leaning towards starting my son in K in public school. Thanks.