"Should Your Wife Have Guy Friends?"

[Fairy]

Every year or so, I find another article on CNN or MSNBC questioning the wisdom of opposite gendered platonic relationships. Always fascinates me. So, here's the latest from this weekend.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/personal/01/23/lw.opposite.sex.friends/index.html

[kusumat]

Interesting. I might be old-fashioned. My mom told me that it is not appropriate for a married woman to have regular contacts with male friends. I do have guy friends, but we don't meet unless Dh is also there.

[schums]

I have several guy friends, including one SAHD that was in our playgroup. DH has no problem with it (many of these friend predate him). I tend to feel more comforable with guys in general (and have forever), so tend to have male friends.

[Edensmum]

I have plenty of friends. My relationship with DH has no bearing on who was important to me as a friend before or after. I won't abandon people who are important to me because they have a penis I am not interested in seeing. It ridiculous to act as though there is an issue because of gender when the friendship is platonic. There are too many actual problems in life. I will not create them.

[trales]

I have met SAHD's in the park and in swimming class etc, and I do as much with them, have them over etc, as my SAHM friends. Parents are parents regardless of gender.

I guess I always wonder about these articles. Are they written by people who are afraid that if they are in a room alone with someone of the opposite gender that something will happen. Do they not trust themselves to have platonic relationships.

And . . . . do they not have children. I would have a hard time fooling around with a playdate regardless of gender. We spend all our time playing ref and teaching to share, stopping crying, no pulling the dogs tail, you get the picture.

The people who come over for playdates at my house run the gamet, single parents, working parents, SAHM's, SAHD's, married, same sex, immigrant, as long as they are nice and thier kid (kids) are nice, I don't care what they look like, what body parts they have, or anything else.

[kransden]

I have plenty of friends. My relationship with DH has no bearing on who was important to me as a friend before or after. I won't abandon people who are important to me because they have a penis I am not interested in seeing. It ridiculous to act as though there is an issue because of gender when the friendship is platonic. There are too many actual problems in life. I will not create them.
:yeahthat:

[BabyMine]

Mostly all of my friends growing up have been guys. They are more like brothers to me than anything. I think gender plays a role when you let it. I can see if it become a problem if you let it.

[maestramommy]

Growing up I had a lot more guy friends that girlfriends. I'm just more comfy with guys. I have some guy friends now but they are out of town. If we were to get together Dh would be there. Most all of my guy friends are happily married with kids of their own. It's inconceivable that that we'd have a friendship that was anything but platonic. And actually, once they got married I ended up with more girlfriends than I had growing up!

[mudder17]

Growing up I had a lot more guy friends that girlfriends. I'm just more comfy with guys. I have some guy friends now but they are out of town. If we were to get together Dh would be there. Most all of my guy friends are happily married with kids of their own. It's inconceivable that that we'd have a friendship that was anything but platonic. And actually, once they got married I ended up with more girlfriends than I had growing up!

I completely agree with this. Ironically, we lived in a household that had more girls (1 brother, 3 sisters), but somehow I always felt more comfortable with guys in general. Part of it was not being all that interested in the usual "girl things", but that's kind of a generalization. But generally speaking, unless we're talking about a mother's night out (though the last time I attended was 3 years ago probably!), DH and I tend to socialize as a couple.

[BaileyBea]

Anyway... I love having close friendships with men more than women. The don't get worked up about everything. The have different interests and it's great talking to them about subjects I never hear about with a bunch of gals. Their advice and view points are so different. I like the conversations.

I had a lot of male friends that I never see anymore since getting married. Last week I got an email from a guy friend who wanted me to meet him for dinner with another one of our mutual guy friends. We three were best friends for years. Never dated. Never wanted to but I enjoy their friendship. And they are not gay guys either. Just normal guys with a wife and a partner.

I am so giddy thinking I am going out for dinner with them on Thursday. I miss them an it will be so great to crack up. Have crass dirty humor and just chill out with them. And DH is so cool with me going. He joked "Oh should I be jealous! Oh no it's just O & D... have fun.. tell me the gossip." They are always up to interesting things.

We will talk about politics, the enviroment, engineering inventions, business, volunteer work, families, speakers we heard recently, NPR, and books we are reading. No baby talk, shopping talk, poop talk. I can't wait. I wish I could get this from other Moms but we mostly just talk about the kids.

Nancy