Alternative to anti-depressants?

[awoodm]

I have learned so much from these boards in the last months, and really want to thank you all for all your knowledge!! I don't post that often, but do read often and search archives here first when I have any questions!! So, a little help with this one would be *greatly* appriciated.

Let me start off by saying- I don't feel depressed at all. I'm not sad, I am so happy and welcoming my new little addition ;). I just have one area of my life that drives me insane. I just know that if I go to the Dr. and explain my symptoms it would lead to a prescription of some sort, kwim? I do not want to take any type of medication, for personal prefrence and because I am breastfeeding. I am open to any safe, natural options.

So here goes, I just lack motivation. It seems that there is so much I want to do, but I don't have the energy to do it. I am enjoying my new baby's first few weeks of life, but he sleeps A LOT. So that leaves me with plenty of time for DS1 and other things, yet I don't feel like doing anything. I force myself to keep the house clean, and sometimes I just don't wanna!! It really varies too day to day-somedays, I have tons of energy and am ready to face the world, and others I just want to sit and veg all day. Then I just feel like I wasted so much precious time! I hate that feeling.

I am still taking my prenatal vitamins and have been trying to excersize regularly since I've been given the okay, so what is it? What can I do that I am not doing to get motivated? I am a newly SAHM, I used to work fulltime, go to school fulltime, and be a full time momma. And FWIW, I am only 24, so I really should have some energy, right? I want to be able to take the kiddos to do lots of fun stuff and not feel overly tired and overwhelmed. I have a very supportive S/O who loves spending time with the kids and is more than willing to take on anything he can help with. Yesterday he had them for several hours so I could have some "me" time- got a pedi, went shopping etc... It was fabulous, but here I am just not motivated at all to do anything again!

Thanks in advance,

Anna

[misshollygolightly]

I know it sounds a little goofy, but have you considered getting more sunlight or trying some of the other treatments for Seasonal Affective Disorder? Esp. if you live in a cold area w/ gray winters (I do--we're under a "permacloud" for a good chunk of the year), it can really suck your energy and motivation. One solution is to get a sunlamp--or even use a tanning bed (sparingly and safely of course)--if sitting near a good window or being outside aren't options. SAD affects a lot of ppl--in much the same way you've described. Maybe google it for more info. HTH!

[pinkmomagain]

Well, I have days like that too. My best advice for you is taking a walk outside every day. I've been walking everyday for the past few months (20-30min) and I feel so much more energized and positive. Sometimes (well, this winter, alot) I have to use the treadmill in my basement...and that's good...but I notice when I walk outside, there is a big difference. I'm sure the sun & trees have something to do with it. Also, don't know if you'd consider it, but maybe some fish oil pills too.

[BethS]

You've gotten great suggestions. I recently read that Flax can help with depression and it's easy to add to all kinds of recipes.

[mom2224]

Hi Anna!

I can totally relate. Having DS rocked my world and it is hard to explain. Like you I went from full time everything with a full calendar to a different life. It was a difficult adjustment.


I knew something wasn't right. I wasn't depressed or sad, but still felt very odd. No energy, sleeping issues, foggy headed. I even tried to explain it to my OB who said welcome to motherhood and offered me a script for an antidepressant. I declined the meds and thought that all new moms felt this way.

If you do see a doctor, please have your thyroid checked. I figured it out after I'd gotten my hair cut and noticed a huge goiter on my throat. 10% of postpartum women have thyroiditis.

I'm sure you'll get lots of support and ideas from this board. Keep your chin up, Spring is just around the corner!

[tmarie]

I went through something seemingly similar after my last dc. My ob suggested I get one 30 min. massage/week for a month, exercise for 30 minutes at least 5x/week, and drink 8 glasses of water a day. She also told me to tell my dh that he needed to let me get at least 5 consecutive hours of sleep, LOL. I did all these things and felt WORLDS better within a week. The massages and exercise really seemed key for me. HTH!

tmarie

[Tondi G]

The psychiatrist that I saw after #2 was born suggested I try Fish Oils... Omega 3's. Lots of studies show it is helpful for PPD so it is worth a try! The 2 recommended brands I have seen mentioned here a lot are Nordic Naturals and Carlson's.

Evening Primrose Oil could be helpful too... check into breastfeeding on it though... not sure about that one!

I've always heard exercise too.... even if it's just getting out and walking with the kids in the stroller. Just to get your heart rate up and your blood pumping!

Have your Thyroid checked as well.... it can't hurt to have your doctor run a quick test.

[o_mom]

Check the thyroid and try an omega-3 supplement (flax, fish oil, etc.) But, honestly, you have a 6 week old. I have never felt consistently motivated to clean the house at 6 weeks postpartum. Breastfeeding takes energy - you are making milk from scratch 24/7. Even if the baby is sleeping a bunch, chances are you are still getting up 2+ times per night and interrupted sleep is not restful for most people. As well, your body is still going through changes from growing another person.

I'm not trying to brush off the concerns, but trying to reframe what you are feeling. Rather than looking at the lack of motivation as a sign of depression, consider that it is your body telling you to slow down, take care of your baby and let it heal.

[gatorsmom]

I haven't read any of the other posts but I'm sure you've gotten some good advice already. The first thing I thought before I had even finished reading your post is that this is so normal. Think about it- you've been building up to something for 9 months, probably doing a lot of preparing and organizing and now poof! The baby is here and you don't know what to do with yourself. I used to hear that from girlfriends who spent 12+months preparing for their wedding day. Then the day comes and goes and they feel like all the wind is gone out of their sails. All the buildup of excitement is over and now it's time to just live.

When I read the rest of your post, saying that you used to work full time, go to school AND be a mom, then it solidified my opinion. You are only a month into this new lifestyle. What you need are some routines. Like, you wash dark laundry on Monday and go to your Mommy and Me class, grocery shopping and sheets on Tuesday, etc. You are probably also feeling isolated. You need to make some friends with other SAHMs and be able to socialize. It would be good for your children too. And some good advice from my former boss- give a busy employee a project and it's more likely to get done than by an employee with less on her plate. I guarantee, if you start getting more active outside the house, you'll find time to get things done inside the house. You'll just be more motivated and energized.

Trust me NO ONE is motivated naturally to do housework. I remember feeling EXACTLY as you do now with my first baby. It seemed the more I had to do, the more I got done. If all I had to do was empty the dishwasher, it took all day to get it done.

And don't overlook the power of sunshine. I feel my best and am my happiest when I'm able to walk outside with the kids in their stroller. if you live ina warm enough area you might want to try that.

hth. Hang in there, it gets better!

[niccig]

I do have a thyroid issue, so some of what you're feeling, I know for me is thyroid related. But, there are down days even when my medicine levels are normal. Today was one of those. I was up every 2 hours with sick dog and then DS wet the bed and I couldn't get back to sleep, so I got little sleep and that did me in. I should have gotten more done today as DS was at preschool, but I couldn't motivate myself. What does help me is to have a schedule for the day. The night before I write down what I have to get done and the list helps keep me on track. I didn't do that for today.

I also agree with exercise, looking after yourself etc.

I just had a playdate with a friend and she is super energised, never sits down at all, has 2-3 play dates a day, and her house is spotless. I need some of her energy, not as much as she seems to me to be very frantic and I don't want that, but I do need a pick me up. So I'll be reading everyone's responses....

[awoodm]

Thank you all so much for the responses! I will definitely try out the fish oil, and get my thyroid checked at my next Dr. appt(thyroid problems run in my family... don't know why I didn't think of this). I am going to google the seasonal affective disorder as well to see if maybe that is what's going on.

Unfortunately, we just got a foot of snow and temps have been ranging from the negatives to below freezing, so a walk around the block isn't so much an option! Although that does sound amazing!! I was incredibly tempted to run out and play in the snow today though, but figured as soon we got all bundled up DS2 would wake up... I have started to try out the tanning bed to get a little color(always makes me feel better), although I only stay in the UVB beds for about 5 min at time. I think maybe sometimes I just expect to much of myself, and then get so overwhelmed that I feel like I can't do anything... arghhh... I am just praying that spring will hurry up and get here!

[awoodm]

I haven't read any of the other posts but I'm sure you've gotten some good advice already. The first thing I thought before I had even finished reading your post is that this is so normal. Think about it- you've been building up to something for 9 months, probably doing a lot of preparing and organizing and now poof! The baby is here and you don't know what to do with yourself. I used to hear that from girlfriends who spent 12+months preparing for their wedding day. Then the day comes and goes and they feel like all the wind is gone out of their sails. All the buildup of excitement is over and now it's time to just live.

When I read the rest of your post, saying that you used to work full time, go to school AND be a mom, then it solidified my opinion. You are only a month into this new lifestyle. What you need are some routines. Like, you wash dark laundry on Monday and go to your Mommy and Me class, grocery shopping and sheets on Tuesday, etc. You are probably also feeling isolated. You need to make some friends with other SAHMs and be able to socialize. It would be good for your children too. And some good advice from my former boss- give a busy employee a project and it's more likely to get done than by an employee with less on her plate. I guarantee, if you start getting more active outside the house, you'll find time to get things done inside the house. You'll just be more motivated and energized.

Trust me NO ONE is motivated naturally to do housework. I remember feeling EXACTLY as you do now with my first baby. It seemed the more I had to do, the more I got done. If all I had to do was empty the dishwasher, it took all day to get it done.

And don't overlook the power of sunshine. I feel my best and am my happiest when I'm able to walk outside with the kids in their stroller. if you live ina warm enough area you might want to try that.

hth. Hang in there, it gets better!

Gatorsmom-You rock! I think you totally get me. I have thought the same thing, about not having enough to do... I have been trying to find fun kid stuff to do around town. I think I just need more SAHM friends (I have one) and to get involved outside the house. I have been tossing around the idea of a weekly yoga class... I think I'll jump on that one. I guess I am just not used to this being at home all the time deal- adding in the crappy weather and I guess a lack of motivation is what you get.

[jerseygirl07067]

We had a OB/GYN nurse practitioner come to one of our women's meetings last week, and she said sometimes she recommends a combo of Omega 3s and vit B complex to help with mood, before prescribing an antidepressant. I've also read a lot about vitamin D deficiency too which can contribute to mood issues, along with other health issues such as cancer, osteoporosis, etc.

HTH and good luck!

Marcy

[gatorsmom]

Thank you all so much for the responses! I will definitely try out the fish oil, and get my thyroid checked at my next Dr. appt(thyroid problems run in my family... don't know why I didn't think of this). I am going to google the seasonal affective disorder as well to see if maybe that is what's going on.

Unfortunately, we just got a foot of snow and temps have been ranging from the negatives to below freezing, so a walk around the block isn't so much an option! Although that does sound amazing!! I was incredibly tempted to run out and play in the snow today though, but figured as soon we got all bundled up DS2 would wake up... I have started to try out the tanning bed to get a little color(always makes me feel better), although I only stay in the UVB beds for about 5 min at time. I think maybe sometimes I just expect to much of myself, and then get so overwhelmed that I feel like I can't do anything... arghhh... I am just praying that spring will hurry up and get here!

Oh you said it! We are ALL praying for spring to finally get here. I wanted to add that it is soooo hard with a little baby because you can rarely predict when they are going to nap and when they will wake up. You probably would love to be outside with the 3 yo. But, when the baby is this little it's almost not worth it to try to get outside because by the time you and DS1 are bundled up and dressed for the cold weather, baby starts crying!!! And at this age, DS1 needs your help to work on indoor projects so it's hard to leave him to go nurse the baby. Can you schedule little trips to places like a Children's Museum? They usually have nice spots for bfing while your DS1 is running around. Story time at the library? Are you involved with any local churches? You probably don't have to be a member, either. Ours has a Mom's Day out every other Wednesday with free nursery care. My church is RCatholic but we had a couple of Baptist moms, a Mormon and several Lutherans. It was just nice being able to talk to other moms, you know?

One other thing I wanted to add was that it will probably take some trial and error to find activities that you like. I did try out some groups that I was NOT a good fit for. But found others that are great. It just takes some time to find your niche. gl!

[maestramommy]

In my pre-baby days my friends dubbed me the "Energizer Bunny." That went well into my 30s, in fact until Dora was born :p After Arwyn was born I had the same lack of motivation and energy. For me some the causes were concrete. I was sleep deprived and not getting any regular exercise. The lack of exercise was causing insomnia, which made everything worse.

The other thing though, is that before I had kids I was a school teacher, so my days were filled with activity and conversation. Now my world has really shrunk. Having a playgroup really helped. But finding a very small part time job helped even more. It was just timing that my church was looking for a new handbell director, so I stepped in. Dh and I had to shuffle our schedules a little, but it was so worth it, just to have that weekly rehearsal and monthly performance. My brain felt like it was being used the way it use to, at least a little. And it was something I was accomplishing without the kids.

It has been rather hard since we moved because I am now pregnant in the middle of winter where weather matters. So we are very cooped up most of the time. And I am not exercising again. I can't wait until spring comes, so I can at least take Arwyn out in the jogger while Dora is at school. Dora keeps asking to ride her bike, and I think I'm going to just let her. At least we'll be out of the house and they won't be watching TV!

[StantonHyde]

Costco used to have portable light boxes for around $100. DH uses his seaonally and it works wonders. I found that my SAD decreased when I got a dog--because I had to walk him twice a day, so ITA with the exercise advice. And with all the changes you have been through--that is like going 90 miles an hour into a brick wall. (not that I did the EXACT same thing with my first.....) It is hard. I hate housework. I still don't do it. I would rather go play and deal with a messy house.

Then, once you have tried some oils, used the lightbox, given yourself a break ;), exercise quasi regularly----if you still are not motivated--you are right that you are not depressed, but it would be considered a mood disorder and a little Wellbutrin can do wonders. I truly think you will feel much better in a month or so--new baby exhaustion is ungodly. But when spring gets here (I started typing "if"--but it will) and if you are still feeling unmotivated, talk to the doc.