PLEASE HELP...Babysitter 101 for parents!!

[SASM]

Okay...I have been a parent for 6 years (tomorrow!) and have only used one close friend and a relative, who lived an hour away to babysit our kids (6, ~4, and 16mos). We've lived away from family our entire parenting lives...no grandparents or close family nearby. So...DH and I REALLY want to go on a date but really haven't a clue as to find a sitter. We recently moved to a new town/state so we do not even have close contacts to rely on. This is COMPLETELY new territory for us...and it is TERRIFYING!!

HOW DO YOU FIND A SITTER???

DH has asked around at work and he hasn't been very successful for finding a mature teen sitter. He is only coming up with 12 yo's...we do not think that age is QUITE ready for 3 kids. ;) I am asking around at preschool but haven't received much info as 99% of the parents that I've asked either use family or have not used a babysitter. :( My next step is asking my hair stylist tomorrow...she seems to know ALL! I do not know if SitterCity or anything along those lines would work for us as we would probably only use a sitter maybe 3times/year.

WHAT IS YOUR CRITERIA??? ~ Red Cross certification? A certain age? Driver's license? Do you talk with the mother/parent thoroughly beforehand? I'd LOVE any and ALL details...

WHAT DO YOU PAY??? ~ According to age? How would you pay siblings who work as a team?

WHAT ARE YOUR RULES? ~ Obviously no boys, alcohol, violent TV, etc? Anything that you've learned that you care to share???


I've actually observed a teen girl at the ice rink for several sessions and she SEEMS like a good kid (very smily and involved with her 9yo sister and 6yo friend). I asked about her to another mom (who I just talked to briefly...do not know her but seems very involved with her DD's activities) and she said that she would not hesitate asking this girl to babysit, but she only has one 6yo DD. I gave the mom my info tonight and the girl called me back this evening. I had NO IDEA what to ask, as I was TOTALLY taken off-guard without a list. I asked about her age (almost 15), whether she has a any experience (no, other than her 9yo sister), if she's every watched three kids (no, as prev stated) or if she'd feel comfortable doing so, and if her mother said it was okay. I thought about talking with her mother after we hung up. She has a 13yo siter who would be able to help.

What do you think? I am a paranoid mom who is thinking "NO" but DH thinks that it would be reasonable to meet up to get the kids acquainted with her and her sister and then have a trial run of an hour or so.

Would it be unreasonable to ask that their mother come for that solo hour to observe? I think that would be in the best interest of everyone involved but DH thinks that I am being paranoid. :(

THANK YOU SO MUCH IN ADVANCE!!

[Tondi G]

I would consider it. Especially if both of the girls came over. Your kids are 7 and 5 right? It's not like you are leaving a baby with a babysitter they don't know. I would attempt to plan some activities or let her know the kind of things your kids like to play... UNO or board games... playdoh. Maybe rent a new movie for them to watch... pop popcorn ahead of time and have it all ready. I'll bet it would all work out just fine!

You could ask your pediatrician for babysitter suggestions. I would ask friends and neighbors if they have a parent or family friend who would be interested in a little extra cash.... my mom baby sits for several kids on our block!

Good Luck

[ha98ed14]

If I were you, I would hire a college student. It sounds like you are really nervous about leaving your kids with a teen. Asking their mother seems inappropriate to me. Are you prepared to pay her too? I would check Craig's List under childcare. The college students in my town post their info on there all the time. A experienced (and good!) sitter will have references. Email the student, get their references and call at least 2 if not 3 or 4 (not relatives.) Because you have 3 kids, I would offer no less than $10/ hour. That is what I pay in SoCal for one child, but I live in SoCal and everything is more here. But this is how I have found good sitters. Good Luck.

[tylersmama]

If you are interested in a high school student, you could try calling the guidance counselor at your local high school and see if they have recommendations for a mature and responsible kid. If you prefer someone older, I've used and been very happy with www.sittercity.com. It does require a subscription, but I've found two great babysitters with it, and I feel that it's worthwhile not to have to do as much work. Sittercity also has the background check info right there, which is HUGE for me. Craigslist makes me nervous, and I would have no idea how to do a background check on my own.

As for pay, I have some highschoolers that I use as well (my running coach is friends with their mothers). The 15 year olds are all Red Cross certified and they get $8/hr. There are also 12 year old twins (VERY responsible) who come as a package and they split $5/hr. I have a new college grad who is great, and she gets $11/hr. I am in a major metropolitan area and only have one DC, so that may affect pricing.

As for what you have available, I think your best bet is to start off with a mother's helper situation. Have the teenager come over while you're there, but they're completely in charge of the kids while you do whatever...chores, hobby, take a bubble bath. If you're happy and comfortable with how that goes, you can try a trial run, during the day for an hour or two. I wouldn't have the mom come over, but I would make sure that she was home/close/available if help is needed and she can't get ahold of you for whatever reason. I know that the first time the twins babysat for me at night, their mom did actually come over (I didn't ask!) for a little while just to make sure they were ok with everything. I felt really weird, though...it was like I was paying $5/hr for a 45 year old high-powered executive to watch my toddler! :p

Good luck! I know how tough it is!

[LadyCale]

I'm not sure if this helps you, but you could check around for staff at day care centers (or if you know other parents who send their kids to day care ask them to get some numbers). I have a 15 month old and only trust him with the staff from the day care I go to. The staff at centers have training and experience with little children and can generally handle more than one at a time.

There are, of course, websites. Depending on where you are they may have sitters online. I browse sitters.com from time to time when I need and for the area I'm in there are a lot of options - many people older than 20 that have their experience online.

I would definitely only trust someone in College or older with that many kids. Someone with first aid and CPR training would be good as well.

Hope that helps.