DH's proposal so I can pick the baby name- would you go for it?

[cdlamis]

Baby #3 is due in 5 weeks and we still have not settled on a name. He only has one suggestion but it's way too popular for me to consider. My favorite name is Camille and he has never loved it.

I have been begging him to let me pick the name. He proposed that if I take care of all poopy diapers for 2 yrs, I can pick the name. It started off as a joke for him but I would do anything at this point. To be honest, I don't mind poopy diapers while he gags at the thought. But, I kind of hesitate to name our DD a name he doesn't love. I do think he will grow to love it like I grew to love his name idea for DD#2 (Isabella).

Thoughts?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Nope, I wouldn't do it. I would just wait till you are in the throes of labor and delivery then tell him the baby's name will be Camille. Odds are he'll nod and go along with whatever you say then. ;) At least that was my experience during my 2 births. It sounds to me like he got to name one so it would be fair that you got to name one if you were both equally not on board with the other's picks. Finally, I think that people should take care of everything for a new baby except breastfeeding so you can rest- diaper changes, cleaning, baths... so I wouldn't pick something that added more work to my pile during newborn hood.

Beth

[twobabes]

If you are a SAHM, I might take him up on that offer. How many does he really change? ;) Plus, he can't resent you if he got a deal for his agreement.

Truthfully, I also think if you love the name and you can get him to agree to it, go for it. Your dh will start to love the name once he hears it on your sweet baby girl. (FWIW - I love that name!)

[mariza]

I think that it would be impossible for you to actually follow through with the "agreement" even if you conceed to it. What if you are occupied with another DC or just not available to drop whatever you are doing to change the baby? If he's smart he will go ahead and change diapers regardless of this deal, but if he sticks with it you will end up being resentful for him not doing his share.
I would either keep looking for a name or just tell him he can pick the middle name. FWIW, I think Camile is cute, but when you said your other DD was Isabella I though Camilla would sound great too. Good luck :)

[KpbS]

but if he sticks with it you will end up being resentful for him not doing his share

This is my problem. I *know* I would resent it if DH would not change a poopy dipe. Deal breaker. Have you tried looking at nymbler.com together?

[tmarie]

I wouldn't wait until the throes of labor but I would wait until about a week or two before you are due. I basically wore dh down. I talked about how I had always dreamed of having a dd named Lily, etc (in a non-whiny, 'oh well', tone of voice).....I also insisted that he come up with agreeable alternatives, which he couldn't. He finally got so sick of the conversation he gave up. He LOVES Lily to death, name and all. :) I have no regrets about pushing for the name.

tmarie

[buddyleebaby]

No, I wouldn't.
The rights to naming your child are not his to barter away.

I would keep trying to find something you both liked, but if it didn't happen I would go with what you like. Honestly if he is willing to let you have the name in exchange for diaper duty I think he must be ok with it.

If it helps, my DH did not like the name I wanted for our second child (if she was a girl). He finally agreed to it a week before she was born, and know he loves it and agrees it is perfect for her. He can't imagine her with any other name.

:hug5:I hope the right name clicks for both of you!

[KBecks]

I don't make deals like that, they are no fun.

[LarsMal]

Was your DH talking to mine?! I swear, I can't tell you how many times I've heard, "Okay, how 'bout this..." with another deal so DH could have baby-naming rights!

Would he *really* not change a poopy diaper for 2 years?

A pp mentioned wearing him down...it works! That's how DH got DD2's first name in the end. He finally wore me down and I agreed on it. Our compromise was (is) that I get to pick her middle name- which I really wanted for her first name. She's not here yet, but her name is solid now, I've adjusted to her first name, and I can't imagine changing it. Hopefully your DH will come around, too, and not with some ridiculous deal like not changing diapers!!!

Good luck!

[wellyes]

Heck no!! Picture it: you're exhausted, you've been taking care of three kids all day, LO poops - you won't want to lose the right to say "please get this one, I need a break" once in a while.

I'd advise against making a deal 'in jest', too. 8 years into our marriage, DH *still* sometimes reminds me that I failed to follow through on our deal made in haste one night........ that I would talk his last name upon marriage if he'd run out & get me ice cream at the grocery store.

I like Camille, by the way. Keep working on him!

[emily_gracesmama]

We didn't find out what DD was and we were so convinced it was a boy, we really didn't settle on a girl name until I was in labor in the hospital. I had always wanted Kathryn, to be able to use Kate and Katie, and he loved Sydney, but I really didn't like it enough to give in on it for a first name so we agreed on that as a middle name and when one of our labor nurses was named Kathryn, well that sealed it for us. It would have been Daniel, a fourth, if it had been a boy. I'm just glad I didn't agree on a name I didn't love for a first name, even though I really thought it was a boy!

[gatorsmom]

hmmm....Yes, I would but only because I would most likely be the one changing all the diapers anyway. Also, because I know that there is no way DH could really get away with not changing a diaper for 2 years. What if you want to go get your hair done and he's babysitting? Or you are busy doing something else- is he going to just let the baby sit in it?

Btw, I absolutely LOVE the name Camille and think it sounds darling with your other daughter names.

Please let us know what happens!

[wencit]

Personally, I wouldn't. A name is something that is so permanent and personal to a child, and I would absolutely hate it if years down the road, DH was still "meh" about our DC's name.

I hope you can eventually come to a compromise. FWIW, I love the name Camille!

[cdlamis]

I was so excited at the prospect of actually getting to name her Camille but I know you are all correct! It would hang over my head and probably cause fights over the 2 yr period. I really hope I can convince him by sheer begging and pleading! :)
Thanks for the feedback!

[IDcam]

You know your husband best... Would he really not change poopy diapers for two years? I would agree but I know my DH wouldn't be able to keep that deal. There's too many poopy diapers for him to avoid changing in a two year span. Ha! Keep working on him and if you can get more people to agree with you on how great the name is maybe that will change his mind. That's what happened with DD's name. He just adores her and loves her name.

BTW, I agree with PP, I think Camilla would be really cute with your other daughters' names. ;)

[graciebellesmomma]

One of my life long friends has 3 girls, all 3 years apart.
Claire, Ella, and Camille!! Love the name Camille.
They call her Millie. So, so sweet.

[Jenny_A]

I haven't read the other responses, but, no, I wouldn't do it. Decide on something together! I would think it would be so much more meaningful to both of you and the child.

Just my 2 cents,

Jenny

[kellij]

I think you should just start referring to her as Camille. Then he'll probably start to think of her that way and like it.

[Fairy]

No, I totally would not!

[WatchingThemGrow]

Would he really not change poopy diapers for two years?
I think maybe he's just letting you in on the idea that he IS really open to the name. Would he really, REALLY not get up to change a poopy diaper? I love the name Camille! DH actually calls our daughter that and it isn't even her name. We never even thought of it, so I'm not sure why he does...hmm...

[DrSally]

With DS, we thought he would be a girl, so I had girl names picked out. It was a total surprise, and DH picked out a great name for DS. With DD, I used my girl name I still had in reserve, which DH was not crazy about, but he had been prepared to let me use after witnessing the delivery. The way he tells it, he named DS and I named DD. Now he likes DD's name, he warmed to it. I think it's fine he thinks of it this way, while he thought of DS's name, I really "approved it". I would not have been happy not using my beloved DD's name. We get so many compliments on it. So, I guess my answer is to try to find something you will both like or that he can warm to. My guess is that if he is willing to do a trade for the name, he must be ok with it. I wouldn't do the dipe trade though. How about this: "I give birth to the baby and YOU can do the first 2 years of dipes :)

[updacountry]

I wouldn't do it. Think of the poor child as she gets older and asks about her name (which I do like), she got it because Dad didn't have to change a poopy diaper. That will be a joke that sticks through childhood.

My DH wanted a Bass boat because we couldn't get pregnant and then when by a fluke (ha-ha) we did. We knew we were having a girl for 6 months and didn't pick a name until she came out and go figure somehow her ititials became BASS. I think he planned that one without me knowing. So he always calls her his special little fishing boat! I hope she gets the humor in it when she is older. She does love to fish though so it kind of fits. Oh course, I was never agreeing to getting a boat anyway so he better enjoy his little fishing boat, lol!

[shawnandangel]

What is the name he suggested? My opinion is, even if it is the most popular name out there, if I loved it that would be my DD's name.

DH loved the name "Sophie" But I thought it was too short and cutesy. We agreed on "Josephina"
We were going to spell it "Josophina" So "Sophi" was in the name and that could be her nickname but when she was born she didn't look like a "Sophi" to us and so she is our "Josephina" or "Josie"
DH was actually the one who started calling her "Josie"

[srhs]

I wouldn't take the deal because it would set up a power struggle over baby care, and in our house, it is just assumed DH will do a reasonable share when he's home. I wouldn't want him to think there's any other way. ;)

I might let it go for awhile with the plan to meet DD and "try on" the options the first couple days. And then pray DH will be over the moon with your labor sacrifice that he agrees with your name!

GL; that sounds really frustrating!

[MontrealMum]

I wouldn't take the deal because it would set up a power struggle over baby care, and in our house, it is just assumed DH will do a reasonable share when he's home. I wouldn't want him to think there's any other way. ;)
ITA with that!

I know you said that your DH initially said this in jest, and this is your 3rd, so I don't think he's just being immature. Therefore, I think you should come to some sort of compromise that you can both live with...but the diaper deal is not it!

[AnnieW625]

He'll never make you keep that end of the bargain. You'll eventually come up with something that works for you both. My parents had no idea what my name was going to be when I was born and it was a game time decision. My dad wrote my name down on an index card while my mom was in labor and it stuck. I still have the card today.