Baby info you wished you knew

[melrose7]

I am trying to make a short list for new parents about little tidbits of information that may or may not be in baby books and not everyone knows. I am thinking of things like, not using dryer sheets because of the flame resistance in pjs, you don't have to use dreft any free laundry will do. what other things did you hear later that you wish someone would have told you or you can't believe you didn't read somewhere? Thanks

[westgre]

DD always vomited when she had a fever, so she would just vomit up Tylenol or ibuprofen if given by mouth. It took a trip to the emergency room to find out that there are acetaminophen suppositories you can buy at the drugstore. They're called FeverAll suppositories.

[wellyes]

Swaddle newborns, they love it.

Cloth diapers are economical and fun and you don't have to swish them in the toilet like in the old days.

Save boxes for all the stuff you buy. Before long you'll want to store it or give it away or sell it and the boxes do come in handy.

On a less practical side:
- Nursing is really hard at first, but then it gets to be one of the best parts of motherhood
- Many parents feel ambivalent about the baby immediately after the birth. It can take a few weeks to bond with a newborn. That is normal, and it's OK.

[kristenk]

One thing that I never new was that DD would *hate* having her diaper changed. I would have stuck with cloth diapers longer if I had realized that she would scream like that when changing diapers no matter what! (I switched back to cloth when she was 1.5yo.)

[MmeSunny]

I wish someone would have told me that from now on, I don't matter. Really. Someone else's needs will always come first.

I wish someone would have told me to NOT buy so much baby crap. . .they don't need it. No baby needs a swing and bouncy and exersaucer and jumperoo and tummy time mat and Bumbo.

Walmart is the ONLY place that will take stuff w/o a receipt from those baby showers where you get 25,000 ugly outfits and not one d@mn thing from the registry that you waddled around for 2 hours completing.

You will spend more money that you thought possible on a fleet of strollers unless you go for the really good one the first time.

Get a good carrier that will last you and wear that baby if you can. They get big so fast.

Someday you will get to go to sleep. . but not today or the next 18 years.

[SnuggleBuggles]

New clothing may have formaldehyde residue on it so wash them first.

Don't waste money on a crib bedding set. They just aren't necessary.

There are so many better, cooler, more useful baby products out there than what you can find at the big box stores. Don't assume the world of strollers is limited to what you will find at Babies R Us. The better strollers aren't there usually.

Beth

[StantonHyde]

Here is a "shortened" version of what I prepared for all my friends. I included the local places that provide these services.

Prepare for the 4th trimester. Nobody tells you how bad it is. It is awful. I think if I had prepared myself better mentally, I would have done better. You will be sleep deprived and shell-shocked.

1. Read the chapters in your pregnancy book about surviving the first days in the hospital and a chapter on surviving the first couple of weeks. Read this BEFORE you deliver.
2. Be sure to buy two good childcare books. Don't worry about reading them in advance. You will have a situation, read the book section on that, apply it, learn and move on.
3. Make sure you have read the Happiest Baby on the Block book. Make sure you have flannel swaddling blankets, binkies, and a white noise maker.
4. LOWER your expectations. All you have to do is take a shower everyday and eat food. Anything else is a bonus. Anything.
5. You do need to shower every day—gotta keep that sensitive area clean. Blow-dried hair is a bonus, but you need to be clean.
6. To shower: put the baby in the bouncy seat—on continuous lights and music—right outside the shower. That way you can check on him and he can see you.
7. Have lots of maxi pads on hand and forget anything but the granny underwear. You want soft and cushy and able to hold maxi pads. The discharge is heavy at times and it really has a funky odor. Fortunately, it goes away at 6 weeks.
8. Buy easy to prepare/eat foods. Ask people for gift certificates to prepared meal places. If people ask what they can do for you—say bring us a meal.
9. Wear clothing that is comfortable—e.g. you can take a nap in it.
10. You must have someone to take care of you when you get home. This person should not be your husband, but someone who will cater just to you. It is also a really good idea to have a person who can quiet babies. (or tolerate screaming ones) You need somebody (or people who trade off) for at least 2 weeks. (by the second week, you will be doing better).
11. Make sure your husband understands that the independent, take-care-of-herself woman he married is on hiatus. You need help with EVERYTHING!! Tell him not to expect that anything will get done. It will be a good day if you can put the dishes away. (I am not kidding) This was very difficult for my husband to grasp. It was really hard for me to adjust to.
12. Hire/find somebody to watch the baby 3-4 hours a day at least 4 days a week. You need to sleep (even when the baby is not sleeping). With 4 hours, you can nap for two, walk for 30 minutes, eat a meal, and control the squalor. If you have family and friends who can do this for free—GREAT! (this is in addition to the weekends when your husband helps out)
13. See a lactation consultant within a week of getting home—they can make sure everything is going ok and you will feel much better.
14. Keep the book “The Nursing Mother’s Companion” on hand. Remember--you have to have a breast pump at home and waiting for you. You will use it to increase production, measure output, save some for a bottle etc. And I do recommend renting the scale for the first month You can actually weigh baby before and after breastfeeding and see that he now has 2 ounces in him! This will do a lot to relieve your anxiety.
15. You can sleep with the baby. At first this will terrify you, but then you realize that the baby sleeps better with you. I didn’t do this all the time—but I did take naps with him.
16. Some babies won’t sleep in a bed or next to you etc, but they will sleep in a bouncy seat or a car seat or a swing. (Especially for babies who have reflux) Trust me, it does not matter where the baby sleeps as long as it is safe. Do whatever it takes!!!
17. After the first week home, you need to make sure that you get outside every day. This will do wonders for your sanity. Use your sling/baby carrier.
18. If your baby falls asleep in the carrier, leave him there.
19. Maintain awareness about your mental state. This is hard to do, given that you are in “battle fatigue mode’. But if you seem too anxious or are crying a lot etc. then make sure you call your doctor. Supposedly, this peaks at 6 weeks and then clears up. If it is not clearing up for you, call your doctor. A medical journal did an article in 2002 on which anti-depressants are the safest to use when breastfeeding. There are several that you can use that are really not excreted in breast milk. Taking care of a baby is a lot easier when you can think clearly.
20. Remember—you can buy just about anything online!

[jayali]

I wish I had waited to buy my stroller until I knew how we were going to use it. I loved my Universal carseat stroller but got a lot of pressure to pick out a stroller before Matthew was born. I ended up with a Peg Perego and we hardly ever used it. I felt terrible because my best friend (Matthew's godmother) bought it for us and it was a fortune. I test drove tons of them in the store, but of course had no idea what our routine would be. I always tell new mommies to wait to pick out their stroller until they realize how and where they will be using it.

I totally agree that you don't really need all the stuff they say you are going to need. We didn't use our swing or our bouncy seats or our tummy time mat, but Matthew did love his saucer.

I also would recommend the urge to buy every cute outfit you see. They grow so fast. Also would not spend as much as we did on clothes, almost all of his early things were stained by formula so we didn't get to hand them down.

Line up dependable baby sitters for the early days when you are trying to get yourself back to normal. I remember having a breakdown because I wanted to go and get my hair colored and my girlfriend who said she would babysit ended up calling me 15 minutes before she had to be at my apt. saying she ran late at work. It happened for my gyno appointment as well. Luckily my husband is in sales was able to come home both times, but not before I was completely hysterical.

[kransden]

The hardest thing I have ever done in my life was breast feeding. All those @#$& animal specials make it look so easy. The baby pops on and and volia! Nope it was true work. Of course after a few months we were pros :) so don''t get discouraged.

[gatorsmom]

The three things that surprised me most:

The interruptions. I couldn't (and still can't) get anything done because babies and children need constant attention. When they are babies they cry for basic needs. As they get older they find reasons to need your constant attention. And if they have been quiet and not underfoot for more than 5 minutes get suspicious and go find them.

My reaction to babies and children crying. I never even used to notice a baby crying in Target. Now I immediately notice crying and have to fight the urge to go find out who's doing it. It is just gut-wrenching.

The sleep deprivation. I pulled all-nighters in college before finals and they were cake compared to this. It's the constant build up of sleepless nights and no rest that just makes your body ache. I never anticipated sleep deprivation on this level.

Oh and a bonus point: I'm finding that being a good mom requires in so many ways that my needs come second. And the times I put myself first I often feel guilty about later so it's not worth it. And nobody else in the family (including DH) understands this.

[MamaMolly]

Here is a "shortened" version of what I prepared for all my friends. I included the local places that provide these services.


OMG. I wish so badly I'd had this list. This is mew mama GOLD!!!!!

[Momof3Labs]

I am trying to make a short list for new parents about little tidbits of information that may or may not be in baby books and not everyone knows. I am thinking of things like, not using dryer sheets because of the flame resistance in pjs, you don't have to use dreft any free laundry will do. what other things did you hear later that you wish someone would have told you or you can't believe you didn't read somewhere? Thanks

Your dryer sheet advice doesn't make sense for new parents since sleepwear isn't flame resistant until size 9 months:

http://reviews.ebay.com/Understanding-Kid-apos-s-Sleepwear-amp-Fire-Safety_W0QQugidZ10000000003994460

You also might want to edit your signature since links to your own business are not allowed here. You can, however, leave the name of your business there.

[o_mom]

That you don't need "free" detergent. For most babies, whatever detergent you use for your clothes is fine.

[Ceepa]

Do you have questions about specific topics? If you narrow it down we could help you better. How old is the new baby?

[StantonHyde]

The great thing about my list is that it became the "good karma" email. Seriously, every mother I sent that list to had a baby who slept!!! People told me later they emailed all over the US to friends so their babies would sleep. I have no idea if it worked on that large a scale, but hey, I am glad some people got sleep ;)

[DrSally]

Don't go by the stated weight ranges for diapers, go by what fits and size up if you don't want blow outs!

[melrose7]

WOW!! Thanks everyone for all your responses. I have been trying to think back to what I thought I knew before I had kids and since I worked in childcare and was a nanny for 10 years I thought I knew it all. i just wanted to get a feel of what other first time moms were told or not told before having children to be able to help others prepare better when their baby comes. These are all great suggestions for other moms to be.

[melrose7]

Your dryer sheet advice doesn't make sense for new parents since sleepwear isn't flame resistant until size 9 months:

http://reviews.ebay.com/Understanding-Kid-apos-s-Sleepwear-amp-Fire-Safety_W0QQugidZ10000000003994460

You also might want to edit your signature since links to your own business are not allowed here. You can, however, leave the name of your business there.

Thanks for pointing that out. I will make sure that it is meant for after 9 months. I still don't think that dryer sheets are recommended because the of the dyes and perfumes in the sheets themselves.

I wasn't sure about the signature. Thanks for letting me know it wasn't allowed. I did change it.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

Jojoba oil in a spray bottle works better than most diaper cream. Cloth diapers are soooo much cheaper, and are easy, and you feel better about yourself using them!:love5:

[melrose7]

Jojoba oil in a spray bottle works better than most diaper cream. Cloth diapers are soooo much cheaper, and are easy, and you feel better about yourself using them!:love5:

where would i find jojoba oil? i know I have seen it before but I can't think of where. thanks

[DrSally]

where would i find jojoba oil? i know I have seen it before but I can't think of where. thanks

I just saw some at TJ's