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View Full Version : Is vasectomy right for us?



elektra
02-19-2009, 05:31 PM
I have never really had a great BC method. I am supposed to use a barrier method, as my antiseizure medication interacts with The Pill or any other hormonal BC. (Something having to do with both of them being processed in the liver and each medication lessens the effectiveness of the other when taken together). I have also had 2 ectopic pregnancies which I imagine would rule me out as a candidate for tubal ligation or an IUD.
So in addition to a vasectomy, that leaves condoms or a diaphram as far as I know. And I just know that realistically, the chances of us using either a condom or a diaphram every single time without fail is slim to none.
At this point I have no desire for more than two kids AT ALL. DH is on board with this. Were any of you who are now wishing for or having a 3rd at one point convinced that two was your absolute limit?

I haven't done any real research yet but am just now starting to. Is it true that there is some increased cancer risk for men who have had vasectomies? (This is just something SIL told me in passing but I have no idea if it's true at all.)

What else is out there?

We would most likely wait until a few months after DS is born to do the procedure.

maestramommy
02-19-2009, 05:37 PM
I know that soon after dd3 is born, Dh is getting snipped. I asked the other night to make sure he was okay with it, and he is.

ohiomom1121
02-19-2009, 05:38 PM
I just saw the Essure birth control method on an episode of The Doctors and it looks so easy. It's performed during an office visit. They basically use a scope and put these little coil looking things up into the fallopian tubes. The body will form scar tissue over it and basically block off the tubes. They test you 3-4 months after insertion to make sure it worked. Looked like a great alternative to vasectomies and tubal ligation. The woman who had just had it done said it didnt feel like much more than period cramps when inserted. It is permanent so you need to be sure you're done.
http://essure.com/Home/Understanding/WhatisEssure/tabid/55/Default.aspx?gclid=CIfcle3E6ZgCFQETGgodbSX20g

dotgirl
02-19-2009, 06:27 PM
My DH got "the snip" about 10 months after we had our DS who is now 5. We've never regretted it, nor changed our mind about the number of children we want. For us, it's a great BC method, as I was not interested in anything hormonal, and barrier methods didn't fit our needs.

We are also friends with 2 couples, and both men have had vasectomies - neither of those couples have rethought or regretted their decision. However, one of the couples waited until their youngest DC was 4 before they made the decision that they were permanently done having kids.

I think if you're certain that 2 is your limit, it's a great choice for you.

LarsMal
02-19-2009, 06:42 PM
I would take those few months after DS is born to really make sure your family is complete. If you are certain you are finished having kids, and your DH is up for it, I'd say go for the big snip!

That's our plan, too. I want DH to do it NOW! He wants to wait a few months after DD2 is born to make sure we will be happy with that decision. I'm guessing the first sleepless night, and then getting up with the other two, will have him running to the doctor's office!! ;)

lizajane
02-19-2009, 06:49 PM
i kinda wanted a third, DH DID NOT. so he had one on jan 2 of this year. even with the complication (a hematoma, hurt him like a big bruise) he didn't think it was a big deal and he is THRILLED. i mourn the idea of never having another myself, but consider how great it would be to find a baby who needs ME.

Ceepa
02-19-2009, 06:49 PM
IHe wants to wait a few months after DD2 is born to make sure we will be happy with that decision. I'm guessing the first sleepless night, and then getting up with the other two, will have him running to the doctor's office!! ;)


Are you sure he isn't dragging his feet? DH said the same to me - "let's see how we feel", but really he was not feeling motivated to get the snip. LOL

JBaxter
02-19-2009, 06:52 PM
I gave birth to a 10lb baby with a 15 1/2in head ( my 4th son). Dang straight DH is getting snipped. I dont care what other options are available Ive done my part and our family is complete. My baby making region is closed for EVERYTHING except pleasure.

Yes its the right decision for our family :)

elektra
02-19-2009, 07:03 PM
My baby making region is closed for EVERYTHING except pleasure.


LOL! :hysterical:

LarsMal
02-19-2009, 09:51 PM
Are you sure he isn't dragging his feet? DH said the same to me - "let's see how we feel", but really he was not feeling motivated to get the snip. LOL

I don't think he isn't motivated to get the snip- for the snipping sake. I think he secretly wants a fourth and is dragging his feet, hoping I come around to the idea!

Sad thing is, the reason I think he wants a fourth is so he can use one more of his favorite baby names!!!! Also, he once told me he's a "collector" by nature (told me this while we were talking about how many kids we'd have). Nice, DH- why don't you collect some more baseball cards or bobble heads- I'm not in the business of "collecting" kids!!!!! (He and Octo-mom would make a good match!)

JMS
02-19-2009, 10:31 PM
I have never really had a great BC method. I am supposed to use a barrier method, as my antiseizure medication interacts with The Pill or any other hormonal BC. (Something having to do with both of them being processed in the liver and each medication lessens the effectiveness of the other when taken together). I have also had 2 ectopic pregnancies which I imagine would rule me out as a candidate for tubal ligation or an IUD.
So in addition to a vasectomy, that leaves condoms or a diaphram as far as I know. And I just know that realistically, the chances of us using either a condom or a diaphram every single time without fail is slim to none.
At this point I have no desire for more than two kids AT ALL. DH is on board with this. Were any of you who are now wishing for or having a 3rd at one point convinced that two was your absolute limit?

I haven't done any real research yet but am just now starting to. Is it true that there is some increased cancer risk for men who have had vasectomies? (This is just something SIL told me in passing but I have no idea if it's true at all.)

What else is out there?

We would most likely wait until a few months after DS is born to do the procedure.

DH had a vasectomy last week and so far so good (we really haven't tested it out yet :) ).
I posted asking about the actual procedure but didn't really give the background story. After DS was born (our second) we seriously considered a V and even scheduled an appointment (after a consultation). DH was done and I was onboard but had a little nagging feeling that I would probably always wonder if someone in our family (another baby) was missing. We'll we cancelled the appointment and suffice to say, against the odds, we are now expecting our third. I look at this third baby as some sort of master plan and almost felt relief when I found out I was PG b/c I think this is what we are meant to have. DH is actually now ecstatic and our family eagerly awaits the arrival of our new addition. I can saw now with completely certainty that 3 is our number. I couldn't feel confident saying that about 2.

It's a very individual decision deciding how many children feel right for your family. And maybe some people never know for sure but I recommend not doing anything permanent until you have that feeling of certainty.

What strikes me about your post is when you say "at this point". It's easy to say that when parenting is in a harder stage, but then you get out the woods and say, "maybe I could do this again." So get out of the woods and see if you can say if you're done with certainty.

Hopefully reading my novel helps a little big. My articulation is completely failing me at 37 weeks PG. ;)

Momof3Labs
02-19-2009, 10:39 PM
When I was pg with my second, I was convinced that was it, that my uterus was closed for business. After he was born, I started to have doubts. Eventually we decided that 3 was a better number for us than 2, but someone decided that we should have 4 instead!!

elektra
02-19-2009, 11:23 PM
Thanks for the replies. I really feel like 2 is our number, and I know DH does too. I think I will still wait awhile (maybe more like 6 mo. rather than 2) after #2 is born though to do another gut check.
But the thought of accidentally getting pregnant with #3 horrifies me more than the thought of somehow missing out on the #3 that I may want at some point in the future.
And with my medical history I think a vasectomy over other measures makes the most sense.

Melanie
02-20-2009, 03:00 AM
We decided on only two birth children ages ago, before we ever had kids, and if we ever want more we would adopt. So it wasn't that hard of a decision for us. I was hesitant b/c I don't like any kind of surgeries/procedures that *I* feel are unnecessary, but he was fine with it so I went along.

If you think you might ever want a third bio child, I wouldn't.