2nd time cat has scratched DD in the face. WWYD?

[ha98ed14]

DD is 21 mo. Cat is 11+ years old and healthy. We have tried to be very vigilant about not letting DD harass the cat, be gentle, etc. I'm worried DD is going to loose an eye. DH's idea is to make the cat an outside cat, but that seems like asking for more trouble, diseases, etc. FWIW, this was DH's cat from before we were married. I have compassion for her as a fellow living being, but no real attachemnt. DH does tho.

[pb&j]

Get rid of the cat.

I say this as a cat lover w/2 of my own. If either of them ever showed any aggression toward the kids, they'd be gone in a minute. It's not worth it to risk my DCs safety for a cat.

[ha98ed14]

Get rid of the cat.

I say this as a cat lover w/2 of my own. If either of them ever showed any aggression toward the kids, they'd be gone in a minute. It's not worth it to risk my DCs safety for a cat.

I don't think we could find a home for her. She is too finacy. And there are so many cats in no-kill shelters and rescues. Would is be less cruel to de-claw her at 11 y.o. or put her down? (Geez, I can't believe I am writing this...)

[Melaine]

That's a sad situation, but I think I would agree with getting rid of the cat. Unless it could somehow become an outdoor cat? DH has always said if there was a moment's aggression from our dog towards the kids it would be "bye bye beagle"....

[egoldber]

Definitely do not de-claw. In an 11 year old, that is likely to make them more aggressive, not less IMO.

We had to put a cat down for aggression a couple years ago, but it was much more than a couple swipes. Can you make a zone of your house cat safe, so that the cat and your toddler can be separate?

[infomama]

I would love to declaw my cats but at this point in their lives, it would be totally inhumane. One is a total sweetheart and the other is a crab ass...she is the one who has scratched DD in the face, too.

Have you considered those little plastic caps that go over the nails http://www.softpaws.com/ ? I have seen some good reviews for them.

[Momof3Labs]

The softpaws claw covers are a good idea, or I'd physically separate the cat and the baby so they are never in the same part of the house at the same time.

[ellies mom]

Our cat has gotten Audrey twice. I'm pretty impressed though because it wasn't really a swipe. He just kind of put a paw on each side of her face like he was holding her head while telling her to cut it out. The claws caught a bit of skin so there were a few small holes.

The husband was horrified but the cat had been and still is very patient with her, so we just try to do a better job of keeping her away from his space.

If he was actually aggressive to her, then yes, I would get rid of the cat. But that is just our cat and our situation.

[Nooknookmom]

Um, no don't get rid of the cat!!!!! It's not her fault, it's her nature to swat at things.

We have 2 cats and DD is the same age as yours. She is going through the same "bother the cat phase". I just have to constantly make sure that if the cat (s) are in the room w/ us that she is not sitting on them, pulling tails, etc. She got scratched on the arm once and said "Oweeeee, Tazzy!". I thought that might cure her but she kept going back for more. We also have two German Shep's, she wants to harass them as well. DD1 did NOT bother our other Shep's when she was this age, but each child is very different (as I am finding out!)

As the baby matures, the bugging the cat phase will end. I'd sure hate to see you get rid of a mature, well established cat! Especially one not used to being outside, it might not last long outdoors. I'm also not a big fan of declawing.

[vludmilla]

Get rid of the cat.

I say this as a cat lover w/2 of my own. If either of them ever showed any aggression toward the kids, they'd be gone in a minute. It's not worth it to risk my DCs safety for a cat.

I'm inclined to agree with this, unless you can be fairly certain that these scratching incidents were highly unusual and unlikely to continue. If it is reasonable to assume that they will continue, the cats would need to go.

[kellij]

I would, at a minimum, at least try the soft paws first. You can pick them up at petco, or your vet can put them on for you. I think our vet charges 25 to do it and they are supposed to last about 6 weeks.

[Nooknookmom]

Just wanted to add that DD spent most of the morning today trying to "ride" my indoor cat. Fortunately I caught her every time and Taz was in a good mood, she is usually a VERY mild mannered kitty. But if I were a cat and my DD was pulling my tail and trying to sit on my back all the time, I might get a little irritated too ;) Toddlers usually don't get that they are bothering the animal, they're just trying to "help" or are curious. The animals don't get it either so it makes for a funky time.

Trust me this will all pass and I would sure hate for you to get rid of a family pet because of a current issue and then after DD is old enough to not bother the cat, the cat is already gone. KWIM???

We had some friends get rid of their Rottweiler b/c their toddler was always bugging him. After the toddler matured and understood her actions, they wished they had never gotten rid of the dog. It was too late by then. We have always had animals and babies at the same time, it's a fine line between toddlerhood and kidhood (I know, not a word) that will eventually balance out.

Just be patient, is there a place you could put kitty for a while during the day to give her and DB a break from one another? For my DD's naps, I have to bring all the animals in so that they don't bark outside and wake her up. Taz (kitty) goes in the bathroom w/ the window open so she can sit there and look out. GSheps go in the bedroom to sleep. It sounds like a lot of moving around but in the long run will pan out!

If you can get the soft paws to stay on, that would be a great option too!!!

[Ceepa]

Just wanted to add that DD spent most of the morning today trying to "ride" my indoor cat. Fortunately I caught her every time and Taz was in a good mood, she is usually a VERY mild mannered kitty. But if I were a cat and my DD was pulling my tail and trying to sit on my back all the time, I might get a little irritated too ;) Toddlers usually don't get that they are bothering the animal, they're just trying to "help" or are curious. The animals don't get it either so it makes for a funky time.

Trust me this will all pass and I would sure hate for you to get rid of a family pet because of a current issue and then after DD is old enough to not bother the cat, the cat is already gone. KWIM???

We had some friends get rid of their Rottweiler b/c their toddler was always bugging him. After the toddler matured and understood her actions, they wished they had never gotten rid of the dog. It was too late by then. We have always had animals and babies at the same time, it's a fine line between toddlerhood and kidhood (I know, not a word) that will eventually balance out.

Just be patient, is there a place you could put kitty for a while during the day to give her and DB a break from one another? For my DD's naps, I have to bring all the animals in so that they don't bark outside and wake her up. Taz (kitty) goes in the bathroom w/ the window open so she can sit there and look out. GSheps go in the bedroom to sleep. It sounds like a lot of moving around but in the long run will pan out!

If you can get the soft paws to stay on, that would be a great option too!!!

:yeahthat: This will pass as DD matures and the novelty of the kitty diminishes. It's like how siblings continually learn how to interact with each other as they hit new developmental stages. I'm not equating a child and a pet but the idea of teaching new ways of interacting (and possibly separating the two sometimes) could apply.

[KBecks]

How exactly did each of the scratches occur? I think you should evaluate whether the situation can be better managed with more prevention. I think it also depends on the overall personality of the cat. If the cat is generally sociable, I'd be more inclined to try to work it out. If the cat is generally an anti-social terror, then I'd try to re-home the cat or at least see what you might be able to do for it.

But what were the situations?

I have a scar from a cat scratch on my forehead, but I was a 5 year old carrying a stray cat that didn't want to be carried. (The scar does not bother me at all, BTW. I have a larger scar right next to it from falling on a snowmobile ski.... ) I would examine your DD's and cat's behaviors to figure whether your situation is workable in the long term or not.

Good luck!

[sste]

Can the cat stay in the basement for a while - - perhaps when dd is up and about and then have the cat hang out with the family when she is sleeping/napping?

What a hard situation! Our son is sixteen months and I put him a time out and spoke to him very harshly when he threw a toy car at our dog. It is pretty much the only thing we have disciplined him for and it made a big impression when we did it. I also take the dog out of the room with me by luring him with a treat if I need to leave DS alone - - or I make sure Dear Dog is positioned so that he has a clear route of escape. I think the problems all occur when the animal is cornered. We have arranged certain things in our room so the dog can dart out underneath them but the baby cannot if that makes any sense.

Last option, would be to call your vet and see if she has any rec. for an animal behaviorist or any suggestions of her own.

[Nooknookmom]

OK, one more thing.

Are you punishing DD for messing w/ the cats? Like putting her in time out? If so, this could inspire her to do it again. You know, the off limits thing is really cool!

I'm sure you've sat down w/ DD and the kitties and showed her how to pet them nice and touch softly? Maybe take DD's little hand and touch it to her own leg and say "this is how nicely we pet kitty". Then each time you catch her revving up to go over to them stop her and say in a cheerful voice something like "Oh, did you want to pet the cat? Alright, let's do it together" and then touch the cat really softly, etc.

Aside from DD's current insistence that Taz IS a horse and her tail a jump rope, she does well petting her.

Funny thing too, she will only pick on Taz. My mostly outdoor cat Button can be a grouchy old man and she will NOT bother him, at all. She will open the door and tell him to "go out, no, no!" but won't bug him.

[3blackcats]

You can buy this product called Feliway. It has pheromones in it that mellow cats out. I have three plugged in my house right now, one on each floor. But, you can also buy the spray and spray certain areas. It takes about 2-3 weeks for the product to make it into the cats system. It totally mellows my one cat out. I can tell by the cats behaviour that the diffuser needs to be replaced.

Just to warn you, it is expensive, but it has worked great for us.

[ha98ed14]

We don't punish DD. We have shown her how to pet gently, and we do not intentionally let DD near the cat unless we are there to help her pet the cat nicely. We have responded positively when we see her "being soft." I think that PP who said it is when the cat feels cornered that she scratches. It has only happened twice, and neither time were DH or I supervising. The cat got into the living room where DD was playing and DD LOVES "Kitty." DD pokes her and pulls her tail. But she also pets her head nicely, which our cat loves.

I feel bad for the cat because we have taken to putting her in our bedroom when DD is up and playing. We let her out when DD naps, is eating in her high chair, and is asleep. But sometimes DH or I leave our bedroom door open and the cat gets out. She is always trying to escape. DH says that the cat does not like people, she likes control. She has her chair in the LR and does not want to be bumped from it. When we move her, she digs her claws into the upholstery and holds on. It is hilarious to watch, unfortunately.

I think what will probably happen is that we will be "more vigilant" and then slack off a bit after a while and DD will get scratched again. I can totally see if happening. But neither DH or I have the guts to get rid of the cat. I don't really want to. I just want DD to leave the cat alone!