Just feeling sorry for myself....

[HIU8]

I know this is probably petty, but my BF who moved overseas in September just emailed me to let me know that she is PG with #3. Her DS and my DS are the same age, as are her DD and my DD. DH and I had been over this and he will not have any more DC. There are a host of reasons (some rational on his part and some not so much). DH is 46, he has colitis (not life threatening I know), he feels that we simply cannot add extra expense to our budget from the expense of raising a third to the expense of getting PG with an RE, he actually feels that he will not live very much longer and won't leave me with 3 to raise (he feels he will get cancer like his father and uncle). So, I'm sad. I really wanted a third DC. I just don't feel finished. I understand the expense thing and I get it. I can see what we have and what we spend. I've tried to do things like get rid of the baby stuff so I don't see it all the time and I'm back into doing things that I really like to do, but I'm still sad. I'm actually glad my friend lives overseas so I don't have to be around her PG etc...

DH and I talked about fostering or adopting (a child over age 2) when DS and DD get a little older. Now DH is against that as well.

I actually am beginning to resent DH a bit. I have to work through this...

[lovin2shop]

Believe me, I totally empathize, and I am having a ton of baby lust right now. Don't beat yourself up over wanting to have another baby, nature has us wired that way and the men just don't get it. If I were to get pregnant, I literally think that my DH would fall to the floor in cardiac arrest upon hearing the news. So, I let myself be sad at times, but try to keep perspective. Life throws out a lot of circumstances at us, and in the perfect world, I would probably choose to have a third baby. But those are not the circumstances that I have, and overall, my life is really great. So I'm going to focus on all that I do have and try not to dwell on what might have been. Having gone through secondary infertility, I think that it is actually now easier for me to let go because I really wasn't sure that I would ever have my second DS. In my case, I decided that it was more important to me to have a happy, stress free DH that is a great father to our kids now.

All of that is just my perspective on the issue, so I'm not sure how helpful that is to your situation. But, mostly I just wanted to say that I completely understand where you are coming from!

[Happy 2B mommy]

Big Hugs to you.

I understand how you are feeling. I always wanted 3, I'm pg with #2 and because of some health issues and my age DH insists that this is it (I'm 38, he's 37). The current economic crisis also has DH freaked out about retirement and college costs, so I'm pretty sure this is it. I'm happy to be pg, but feeling sad at the same time.

[gatorsmom]

I'm so sorry you are going through that. I understand a bit how you feel - that ache is just so nagging and deep.

Sending you peaceful, content vibes.....

[elektra]

Hugs. I don't have that ache for a 3rd but if it's anything like the ache for the 1st then I can imagine how sad you must feel. Hope you can get to a good place with everything.