My mother is driving me insane!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[HIU8]

OYE!!!! My mother is NUTS@!!!!!!!!

First she calls to tell me that if I buy a house in 2009 I get an $8,000 tax credit. I thought this was for first time home buyers only--I have to research that. then she proceeds to tell me how we are in a severe depression (just like the 20's and 30's) and things are only going to get worse. Then she is yelling at me about how stupid we are. then she is telling me that I should ask MIL for $$ to help buy a house since she helped with our current one, but if it means MIL wants to live with us then nix it. SO, I told her she couldn't live with us either (and I mean that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-at least today I do).

Why does she call to report the economy to me and then tell me what to do and then yell at me because of course we are going to do something stupid and have no $$ just like her and be very unhappy (note: my mother has been unhappy pretty much most of her life. I do love her and can normally get along great with her, but not when she spouts things off the news etc... sometimes she is right and sometimes she is wrong about whatever she is spouting on a particular day).

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I just needed to get that off my chest.

[new_mommy25]

I think we have the same mother. The mood swings are hard to bear. :hug:

[mommylamb]

I could be wrong about this, but I think they changed the homebuyer tax credit back to just be first time homebuyers in the final version of the bill as part of their efforts to cut the cost and get the 3 Rs to vote for it.

[tnrnchick74]

I'm sorry! As someone who IS living with her difficult mother...just BREATHE...



As you slowly exhale








unplug the phone from the wall












and throw it out the window!


Now do'nt you feel better?? :thumbsup:

[elizabethkott]

I firmly believe that my mother is the reason mini eggs were invented. While I can't prove this belief at the moment, I take sanctuary in each delicious little candy-coated milk chocolatey bite of deliciousness.
And then I drink a bunch of wine.
I strongly suggest you follow suit. It really does make things better! :D
(((((hugs)))))

[hellokitty]

Caller ID is your friend! Utilize it to screen calls from crazy relatives! My mil is JUST like your mom. Unhappy her entire life, nothing is ever good enough for her and all of a sudden she will decide that something is an emergency that she HAS to tell us about (ie: economy) RIGHT NOW and we have to do exactly what she tells us to do or the world will come to an end. It drives me bonkers!!!

About six months ago, my mil called my DH out of the blue. She had decided that since the housing market was so bad, that this would be a good time for us to upgrade to another house (she seemed to forget that would also mean we would have to SELL our current house in a lousy market and thre are tons of houses for sale in our neighborhood right now). She offered to to pay the difference in our mortgage payment if we would buy a bigger, fancier house. She had my DH eating right out of her hand and he was eager to go house shopping right away!

I had to tell him to stop to think about his mother's motives. She had just gone to visit bil out of state in his new house. She bitched and moaned about how she didn't like his house and how it was too dark and he had bought the cheapest looking house in the neighborhood (we're talking about a gated neighborhood and he also happens to have a CARRIAGE house, so I don't know why my mil was so upset that this house didn't meet her stds, b/c my bil lives in a very wealthy neighborhood). Basically, I think she saw his house, freaked out that it wouldn't be suitable for her to shack up at his place after she retires, so she suddenly decided to dig her claws into us. BUT, she hates our house too (never ceases to point out all of the things that she hates about our house when she comes over and you should have saw the sour face the first time she saw our house and then having her berate us in front of the real estate agent for buying a, "bad" house), it's too small (our house is over 2500 sq ft!!!!), no cathedral ceilings, not fancy enough and not enough bdrms to her liking. So, she came up with this plan to offer to, "help" us buy a bigger, "better" house, but as always there is a big fat rope attached to anything nice that she offers to do for us. Plus, I pointed out to my DH that if we bought the kind of house that we really wanted (house about the same size, but out in the country with LOTS of acreage), his mom would throw a hissy fit and then take back her offer if we didn't get the kind of house SHE wanted (big huge mcmansion in a subdivision). I always see right through her motives, but for some reason, my DH never sees it and accuses me of thinking the worst of his lovely mother. :rolleye0014: He did however, see my point this last time about his mom's self-serving motives.

[mommylamb]

Hellokitty- That sounds awful. If your DH were to take his mom up on her offer, it would also mean that you would be in her debt. That couldn't be a good thing.

[hellokitty]

Hellokitty- That sounds awful. If your DH were to take his mom up on her offer, it would also mean that you would be in her debt. That couldn't be a good thing.

Yeah, she LOVES the power of feelingl like ppl owe her one. So, there is no way I ever take $ from my mil and even when she gives us gifts, it makes me very uncomfortable, b/c I feel like it's not truly a gift, but some sort of, "you owe me" gesture. She is one of those ppl who doesn't understand the concept of being nice, just for the sake of being nice.

Several yrs ago, she would try to force me to take $ from her. Like she would hand me $40 in cash, shove it in my hand and say, "I give you $ now, so will you give me $ later." Basically, she wants to make sure we will be her personal ATM machine when she is retired. I hated it and would always refuse the $, but she is so pushy (both verbally and physically) about it. She did the same thing to my sil too, and my sil was also upset about it. Of course she never pulled this stunt in front of her sons! She kept it up for about almost a yr, and then thankfully, finally stopped doing it. I complained to my DH about it, and he said, "She's afraid that YOU are going to stick her in a nursing home when she is older." I'm sitting there thinking, "Heck yay, DUH! If she keeps this up, it only gives me more reasons to want to keep her away from us! I don't want to deal with my crazy mil under the same roof!" So, I am not sure why she would think that the way she is going about this would make us WANT to have her live with us when she is retired, b/c really, all she is doing is giving us reason NOT to want her to live with us with her psychotic behavior.

[maestramommy]

Yikes, hellokitty, your mil sounds like my bf's mil. She dealt with her for 10 years, then after a huge blowout, they finally have an uneasy truce. Everytime the mil comes to visit (for months and months, I'm not kidding), she stays in an apt nearby. But my bf still gets hives weeks before she arrives.

[hellokitty]

Yikes, hellokitty, your mil sounds like my bf's mil. She dealt with her for 10 years, then after a huge blowout, they finally have an uneasy truce. Everytime the mil comes to visit (for months and months, I'm not kidding), she stays in an apt nearby. But my bf still gets hives weeks before she arrives.

Ugh, that's awful about your friend's mil. See that is the only good thing is that my mil lives an hr away. So, she's close enough that she really shouldn't NEED to stay at my place for an extended period of time, but far enough that I she can't drop by 10x a day unexpectedly. She is really upset that my job can't get a job in her city. I love her city, it's much bigger than where we live, BUT I don't want to live close to my mil, so even though the area we live in is kind of rural, it gives me enough of a buffer that I have breaks in btwn my mil's freak outs.

[maestramommy]

Ugh, that's awful about your friend's mil. See that is the only good thing is that my mil lives an hr away. So, she's close enough that she really shouldn't NEED to stay at my place for an extended period of time, but far enough that I she can't drop by 10x a day unexpectedly. She is really upset that my job can't get a job in her city. I love her city, it's much bigger than where we live, BUT I don't want to live close to my mil, so even though the area we live in is kind of rural, it gives me enough of a buffer that I have breaks in btwn my mil's freak outs.


What's funny is I feel the same way about my MIL. She's awesome and caring, and I couldn't really ask for a better mil, but I need my autonomy, and she did say to me once if she lived closer (like in the same town) she's probably have more input on how Dh and I raise my kids. Which is exactly why I told Dh I don't want to move to her town, even though it's the most wonderful family friendly town and SIL, who is fantastic, also lives there. Sometimes it's hard to have a mil who ended up with two kids that are great people. They think it's ALL because of what they did.

[hellokitty]

Sometimes it's hard to have a mil who ended up with two kids that are great people. They think it's ALL because of what they did.

Lol, that is so funny. My mil loves to take credit for how her kids turned out and she is all, brag, brag, brag. I just roll my eyes. I told my DH that his mom thinks that he and his brother sh*t gold. She is well meaning, but so over-anxious and consumed with herself, she drives everyone crazy, yet she was not the most attentive parent. She brags all the time about how she never volunteered for anything at her sons' schools and they turned out great anyway. I find that a very strange thing to brag about. From some of the stories my DH has told me, I am surprised nothing bad ever happened to my DH and his brother while they were growing up. Same goes for my parents too, but they don't brag about my siblings and I, so at least they don't try to take credit for the way we turned out, lol.