Dear So-And-So...

[TonFirst]

A good Dear So-And-So thread can be so good for getting things off one's chest.

Dear MIL,

We are so grateful that you treat us to two weeks at the beach every summer. It's the only time we get to spend a big block of time with y'all, seeing as how you rarely, if ever, travel down to see us, and even then not for more than a day or two. But does the annual beach trip *have* to be the same two weeks as the first two weeks of school for my son? Could you maybe ask us about our school schedule before you book the condo? Because now I'm left with playing the role of Mean Mother when I lay down the line and tell my husband, your son, that yes, our son needs to be at the first freaking day of school. It's his first year going 5 days a week for an extended day. It's kind of a big deal and I want it to be a smooth transition. So thank you so much for considering our needs and schedule, in addition to your own and the other family members.

Love,

DIL

[MamaMolly]

Ooh, can I play?

Dear Fellow Costco Shoppers,

Forgive me for entering the store without first removing the 'kick me' sign from my back. And front. I must have been run into a *minimum* of 6 times. And I'm not talking a bump, I'm talking a full-on crash the cart into my body kind of bump. And one *one* ONE lady said excuse me (thank you for that, BTW it would have really meant a lot more had you bothered to make eye contact. Beggars can't be choosers though.) What is it about free samples of party platter nibblets cut up into bite sized morsels that turns what I'm sure are normally polite, generous people into a racing mass of pirana swimming around the bloody calf??????? I just don't get it. IMO the stuff Costco is offering to sample is the stuff they are trying to move because it isn't selling. Yick.

I hate Costco on the weekend, but I hate it exponentially more at lunchtime.

End rant. (and thanks OP, I feel better!!)

[dcmom2b3]

Dear mom,

Don't burn my house down, 'kay?

Like, you know, don't leave random burners on? Just cuz, you know, toddlers and blue flames -- not so much.

And don't put a small pot on the 85 bajillion BTU high efficiency burner and then fall asleep? No, don't do that. That burner is a "standing in the kitchen watching the pot boil" burner. And trust me, you will see it boil, if you wait a minute or two.

And don't put a potato in the microwave on high for 20 minutes and then wonder what the fireworks are about. It's 5 mins in the micro, 20 mins in the convection oven for a potato.

My circuit breaker is getting really tired.

And I am too.

[Tinkerbell313]

IMO the stuff Costco is offering to sample is the stuff they are trying to move because it isn't selling. Yick.

I hate Costco on the weekend, but I hate it exponentially more at lunchtime.

End rant. (and thanks OP, I feel better!!)

I realize this is getting off the subject and you were posting about the corwds and rudeness of customers at Costco (and for other stores on weekends)....Just a claification, Costco does not choose which venders give out the free samples. Therefore, the samples are not for products deemed slow movers. Those companys approach Costco and pay for all samples/time/advertisement of such products. Costco does not really have any role except when the samples should be given out.

Back to your vent...as and ad-on...do not stop in the middle of the doorway to put your costco card back into your wallet and block the doorway for everyone else!!

[TonFirst]

Dear Neighbor,

I realize that you love the Lovin' Spoonful, but must you really listen to them, outside, really loud, at 11:30 at night?

Spoonfully,

Your neighbor.

[Sugar Magnolia]

Dear DH,

I know your concerned about money and the economy.

But when you drop your Blackberry in the sink and have to buy your 5th new one...well, its a little annoying. Spending $15 on haircuts for the kids is nothing in comparison.

We could have gone on a nice vacation with all the money we have spent on that phone!

Your Loving Wife

[lmintzer]

Dear older DS,
Must you pitch a fit every time we practice piano? I really appreciate it that you feel "safe" with your loving mother, but safe doesn't have to equal safe-enough-to-throw-a-tantrum-a-toddler-would-be-proud-of EVERY day. If you weren't musically talented, we would have quit long ago, but you are too good to stop. You'll thank me for this later (oh, the words you thought you'd never say).

Love,
Mom

[MamaMolly]

I realize this is getting off the subject and you were posting about the corwds and rudeness of customers at Costco (and for other stores on weekends)....Just a claification, Costco does not choose which venders give out the free samples. Therefore, the samples are not for products deemed slow movers. Those companys approach Costco and pay for all samples/time/advertisement of such products. Costco does not really have any role except when the samples should be given out.

Back to your vent...as and ad-on...do not stop in the middle of the doorway to put your costco card back into your wallet and block the doorway for everyone else!!

Ahhhh, thanks for clarifying! I just assumed that because I have never ever once been there when they are sampling the nummy creampuffs, for example. It is always some form of gristly meatball. :(

And :doh: that guy in the doorway is my DH. The dork stops in the doorway to PULL OUT his freakin card, then goes through and STOPS again to put it away. GGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. Clearly, clearly, clearly, I am a victim of his bad Costco karma.

[randomkid]

Ooh, can I play?

Dear Fellow Costco Shoppers,

What is it about free samples of party platter nibblets cut up into bite sized morsels that turns what I'm sure are normally polite, generous people into a racing mass of pirana swimming around the bloody calf??????? I just don't get it.

AND...please don't stop in front of the little booths and park your carts right in the way WHILE you eat your free samples, so that there are about 8 carts blocking the aisle. Inevitably, this is on a main aisle and *I* can't get through to finish my shopping! I don't want the samples...I just want to walk past you! Get your free stuff and move on people - don't just stand there and munch away!

[kedss]

to my children's father:

I know you were supposed to be done at 5 with your class, it is now 6:18, I've left a couple messages on your phone, because I'd like to know if I need to make dinner before your son falls asleep, or if you want to do something else...

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I hope I'll feel better soon, LOL ;)

[elizabethkott]

Dear Fellow Sidewalk Walkers:

When you see a woman coming towards you with a toddler in a jogging stroller AND a dog, the *polite* thing to do is MOVE YOUR HINEY TO ONE SIDE OF THE SIDEWALK OR THE OTHER. Not keep walking in the middle of the pavement! Oh, and if there are TWO of you walking together, one person gets IN FRONT OF the other person until you have passed the mother with stroller and dog. You don't continue to walk shoulder to shoulder and force the mom off the sidewalk and into oncoming traffic!!!!!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

[gatorsmom]

Ooh, can I play?

Dear Fellow Costco Shoppers,

Forgive me for entering the store without first removing the 'kick me' sign from my back. And front. I must have been run into a *minimum* of 6 times. And I'm not talking a bump, I'm talking a full-on crash the cart into my body kind of bump. And one *one* ONE lady said excuse me (thank you for that, BTW it would have really meant a lot more had you bothered to make eye contact. Beggars can't be choosers though.) What is it about free samples of party platter nibblets cut up into bite sized morsels that turns what I'm sure are normally polite, generous people into a racing mass of pirana swimming around the bloody calf??????? I just don't get it. IMO the stuff Costco is offering to sample is the stuff they are trying to move because it isn't selling. Yick.

I hate Costco on the weekend, but I hate it exponentially more at lunchtime.

End rant. (and thanks OP, I feel better!!)

Oh man, I couldn't help but suggesting that the next time that happens, immediately yell out really loud so that everyone can hear, "OUCH! That HURT!" LOL!

[gatorsmom]

Dear Fellow Sidewalk Walkers:

When you see a woman coming towards you with a toddler in a jogging stroller AND a dog, the *polite* thing to do is MOVE YOUR HINEY TO ONE SIDE OF THE SIDEWALK OR THE OTHER. Not keep walking in the middle of the pavement! Oh, and if there are TWO of you walking together, one person gets IN FRONT OF the other person until you have passed the mother with stroller and dog. You don't continue to walk shoulder to shoulder and force the mom off the sidewalk and into oncoming traffic!!!!!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Since I"m kinda in a drill sargeant mood today, may I suggest, as I did with MamaMolly, that when you are approaching this people you pretend you have earphones in and say really loud like you are about to ram them down, yet annoyingly cheerfully, "EXCUSE ME, COMING THROUGH!" People move quick if they think you are crazy and about to run them over.

Not that I know this from personal experience. :p

[MCsMom]

Dear Grubby Grabber,

Please don't touch my child's face when you clearly haven't washed your hands since last week.

As a matter of fact, you shouldn't be touching your own face either.

Just a thought.


P.S. Want a wipe? Hand sanitizer?

[3blackcats]

Dear Customers in front of me who lives in the past,

There are these magic things called debit cards. And they take them everywhere! Please use this instead of writing a cheque. After the person has rung up your groceries, you realize that you better get out your chequebook. Then, you want to round up so an even amount comes out of your account. Of course, make sure you fill out the amount you've spent on your account record and proceed to balance it while we wait for you in the EXPRESS line. Now that the cheque has been written, the poor cashier has to take your drivers license write down the number and process the cheque. And of course there's confusion because of your need to round up.

Not only are you living in the past using cheques, you have handed over a ton of personal information. They now have your dob, phone number, address, bank, account number and drivers license number. Don't worry about people stealing things from you by handing over this information.

I think cheques should be banned at all retaliers :love-retry:

Sincerely,
Those of us that live in the 21st century

[TonFirst]

Not only are you living in the past using cheques, you have handed over a ton of personal information. They now have your dob, phone number, address, bank, account number and drivers license number. Don't worry about people stealing things from you by handing over this information.

This person probably would sooner die than buy anything online because they're terrified of online identity theft. The internet's not safe! Sheesh.

[infomama]

Dear Grubby Grabber,

Please don't touch my child's face when you clearly haven't washed your hands since last week.

As a matter of fact, you shouldn't be touching your own face either.

Just a thought.


P.S. Want a wipe? Hand sanitizer?

Been there...I usually just block the offensive hand like a ninja.

[mom_hanna]

Dear Fellow Sidewalk Walkers:

When you see a woman coming towards you with a toddler in a jogging stroller AND a dog, the *polite* thing to do is MOVE YOUR HINEY TO ONE SIDE OF THE SIDEWALK OR THE OTHER. Not keep walking in the middle of the pavement! Oh, and if there are TWO of you walking together, one person gets IN FRONT OF the other person until you have passed the mother with stroller and dog. You don't continue to walk shoulder to shoulder and force the mom off the sidewalk and into oncoming traffic!!!!!
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Actually, I like to play "chicken" with people when they do this. They always move. Seriously. you should try it.

[Ceepa]

Dear Customers in front of me who lives in the past,

There are these magic things called debit cards. And they take them everywhere! Please use this instead of writing a cheque. After the person has rung up your groceries, you realize that you better get out your chequebook. Then, you want to round up so an even amount comes out of your account. Of course, make sure you fill out the amount you've spent on your account record and proceed to balance it while we wait for you in the EXPRESS line. Now that the cheque has been written, the poor cashier has to take your drivers license write down the number and process the cheque. And of course there's confusion because of your need to round up.

Not only are you living in the past using cheques, you have handed over a ton of personal information. They now have your dob, phone number, address, bank, account number and drivers license number. Don't worry about people stealing things from you by handing over this information.

I think cheques should be banned at all retaliers :love-retry:

Sincerely,
Those of us that live in the 21st century

Awww. This is my dad. He always uses checks at the grocery store.

[elephantmeg]

Dear Kids,

Naping IS NOT PUNISHMENT. It is a gift, a privilage, something I would love. So when I put you down for naps please either sleep or pretend to sleep would ya? Don't cry the whole time, whine, call out "mommmmmmmmmmmmy", thump the wall so the dog thinks that someone is knocking and goes ballistic barking. Really. And scary looking dude that got DH's magazine in the mail and rang my doorbell to return it-sorry I nearly shut the door on you but you look really freaky AND you started the dog barking/DD crying/DS talking all over again....

AND DS, I'm sorry you don't want to poop despite the miralax. But either poop or don't, don't keep giving me 1 TBSP of poop in your pull up every couple hours-it's not hard poop-it's just PB consistancy-LET IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Your cranky mommy who just wanted a few min with a diet pepsi and QUIET in her only partial day off this week!

[alexsmommy]

Awww. This is my dad. He always uses checks at the grocery store.


Mine too. Neither of my parents are comfortable with debit cards. I give anyone over age 55 a mental break on this one. Online banking and debit cards are just to foreign for them.
I do get irritated when I see a 20-something do this though. At least fill in what you can while they are ringing you up!

[Hallie_D]

I haven't posted in a while, but this thread is for me!

Dear OB/GYN Practice:

Pregnant patients who are awaiting pregnancy-related test results should not have to call your office three different times over the course of 6 days and STILL not get their results. And nobody wants the receptionist, who has no medical training, to call her back and say, "I'm looking through your chart (!!!) and it looks like they mailed you your test results and wrote you a prescription for something." And call me crazy, but I don't think I should have to explain to the receptionist three times that I received the results of my CBC which confirmed I am anemic, but not the other two tests, including the second-trimester screening. And then I definitely did not want to hear "This looks like it might be the results of one of the tests but it is a bunch of numbers and I have no medical training, so I can't tell you what it says," or a mumbled, "I don't know if they did this test because the HMO wouldn't pay for it" before a hastily added, "The midwife will call you back!"

Why can't a medical professional call back in a timely manner? Why do I have to wait until this Friday to have a medical professional call me back when I've been leaving messages since last Friday, and the tests were run two weeks ago?

Sincerely,
A disgruntled pregnant patient

[DrSally]

Dear DH:

Please don't put the babylegs in the dryer. They are shrunken and faded now and DD has only worn them twice.

Please close the bread after you make a sandwhich and the wipes after you change a diaper.

I am thankful he helps, but wish it wouldn't create more work.

ETA: I totally know what you mean about the Costco thing. Weekends are horrible. I found when I was preggo, there was no amnesty for pregnant women from being crashed into either.

[3blackcats]

Mine too. Neither of my parents are comfortable with debit cards. I give anyone over age 55 a mental break on this one. Online banking and debit cards are just to foreign for them.
I do get irritated when I see a 20-something do this though. At least fill in what you can while they are ringing you up!

You are nicer then me ;)

[kedss]

Dear Yahoo-

Please get your act together, I know you are upgrading or whatever and I know its free, but give me a break already!!!!

[JTsMom]

Dear Thyroid,
Quit acting up at the worst times! I don't have time to feel this badly today!!! I especially don't want to feel like this in the process of trying to secure a new doctor, new insurance card, right before we're expecting company, and when DH is short-handed at work. Get your act together! What did I ever do to you?

[BabyMine]

Since I"m kinda in a drill sargeant mood today, may I suggest, as I did with MamaMolly, that when you are approaching this people you pretend you have earphones in and say really loud like you are about to ram them down, yet annoyingly cheerfully, "EXCUSE ME, COMING THROUGH!" People move quick if they think you are crazy and about to run them over.

:hysterical:I do this all the time. That is why I tell my DH that I want the cart or the stroller.

[frgsnlzrds]

Dear DD:

Please stop stripping. Yes, you're adorable. But it's cold. And you're not potty trained.

Thanks,
Mommy

[3blackcats]

Ok, I know I've already done one, but I have another one :irked:

Dear University population,
Do not send me emails with the flag set as urgent. You are not the only one in this university. We are a huge school with tons of people. FYI, when you set your email flag to urgent, I move you to the bottom of the queue. The more you urge me to rush, the slower I move on your case.

Sincerely,
The one that has to deal with you

[Momof3Labs]

Dear former OB,

Just in case you're wondering why I left your practice, it is NOT acceptable to leave a pregnant woman sitting in the waiting room for two hours when she shows up on time for her 11am appointment. And then leave her for another hour in the exam room before waltzing in and rushing out. I did not get the memo that I need to pack a lunch when I go to an appointment with you. And your front office staff was incredibly sweet to let me know that the reason you were running behind is that you showed up 2hrs late today (not because of a delivery) and almost always show up 1-2hrs late for your office appointments. But then, it was cruel to see that pizza delivered to your staff 1 hour into my wait. You think that I can't smell it even though it is out of sight? Oh, yes, you're a man. You've never been pregnant. You don't know what it really means to have a dog nose.

My sympathies to your partner, who respects his patients' time yet doesn't rush them through appointments. If I could have stuck with him, I would have, but you two are a package deal.

Sincerely,

A former OB patient

[DrSally]

Lori, that's so unacceptable. Good for you for changing docs!

[DebbieJ]

Dear former OB,

Just in case you're wondering why I left your practice, it is NOT acceptable to leave a pregnant woman sitting in the waiting room for two hours when she shows up on time for her 11am appointment. And then leave her for another hour in the exam room before waltzing in and rushing out. I did not get the memo that I need to pack a lunch when I go to an appointment with you. And your front office staff was incredibly sweet to let me know that the reason you were running behind is that you showed up 2hrs late today (not because of a delivery) and almost always show up 1-2hrs late for your office appointments. But then, it was cruel to see that pizza delivered to your staff 1 hour into my wait. You think that I can't smell it even though it is out of sight? Oh, yes, you're a man. You've never been pregnant. You don't know what it really means to have a dog nose.

My sympathies to your partner, who respects his patients' time yet doesn't rush them through appointments. If I could have stuck with him, I would have, but you two are a package deal.

Sincerely,

A former OB patient

Ooohooohhoohhhh!!!! I'll take Glenwood Medical for $1000 please!

[Momof3Labs]

Ooohooohhoohhhh!!!! I'll take Glenwood Medical for $1000 please!

Nope, gave up on them 3.5 years ago - this was another of our friendly neighborhood OBs!

[randomkid]

I know I played already, but I also have another one.

Dear Cell Phone company,

Please stop harassing me to pay the d@m# bill. I called you a month ago and told you to disconnect the service because my FIL passed away and no longer needs your services. Your threats to send this to collection when the bills are less than 2 months overdue are ridiculous and insensitive. Go right ahead and get a collection agency, bill FIL for attorneys' fees and report this to the credit bureau. It doesn't matter! Good luck with that by the way - his home phone is disconnected and the cell phone is turned off. Your most recent letter said that you would be disconnecting the service if the bill wasn't paid by such and such date. Go ahead, disconnect the service. That's what I've been trying to get you to do anyway!!!! Oh, and if you disconnect his service, your collection agency really won't have anyway to harass us!

[infomama]

Dear former OB,

Just in case you're wondering why I left your practice, it is NOT acceptable to leave a pregnant woman sitting in the waiting room for two hours when she shows up on time for her 11am appointment.

I'm with ya. I found a new practitioner and I couldn't be happier.

[KrisM]

Dear former OB,

Just in case you're wondering why I left your practice, it is NOT acceptable to leave a pregnant woman sitting in the waiting room for two hours when she shows up on time for her 11am appointment. And then leave her for another hour in the exam room before waltzing in and rushing out. I did not get the memo that I need to pack a lunch when I go to an appointment with you. And your front office staff was incredibly sweet to let me know that the reason you were running behind is that you showed up 2hrs late today (not because of a delivery) and almost always show up 1-2hrs late for your office appointments. But then, it was cruel to see that pizza delivered to your staff 1 hour into my wait. You think that I can't smell it even though it is out of sight? Oh, yes, you're a man. You've never been pregnant. You don't know what it really means to have a dog nose.

My sympathies to your partner, who respects his patients' time yet doesn't rush them through appointments. If I could have stuck with him, I would have, but you two are a package deal.

Sincerely,

A former OB patient


Ugh. The OB I had with DD was like that. Always late. He was supposed to be the best for VBAC, so I stuck it out. I ended up with a c/s. He actually called me and asked why I was changing when I was pregnant with DS2! Um. If I'm going to have a c/s anyway, no way am I staying with a practice that is always 1-2 hours behind.

[DebbieJ]

Nope, gave up on them 3.5 years ago - this was another of our friendly neighborhood OBs!

I had crap like that happen to me at Glenwood, too, which is why I thought it was them. Sorry there are other people out there like them!

[love_a_latte]

Dear 14 year old DSS,

While I am very grateful that you started a new load of laundry, it would be nice if you also started the dryer after putting the wet clothes in it.

TIA,

The person who just started the dryer...again.

[mommylamb]

Dear Neighbor with the Multitude of Cars,

When you choose to park one of your 4 cars in your garage and the other 3 in the visitor spots in our townhome development, my visitors have no place to park. We park one of our 2 cars in our garage, and the other one on our driveway because that's the nice thing to do. Also, I know we will soon need to repave our driveway and I don't know where I will park when I do because you have claimed the visitor spaces as your own. The next street over that one can actually park on is a bit of a walk when you're with a toddler and carrying a lot of stuff for daycare/work.

[3blackcats]

Dear Neighbor with the Multitude of Cars,

When you choose to park one of your 4 cars in your garage and the other 3 in the visitor spots in our townhome development, my visitors have no place to park. We park one of our 2 cars in our garage, and the other one on our driveway because that's the nice thing to do. Also, I know we will soon need to repave our driveway and I don't know where I will park when I do because you have claimed the visitor spaces as your own. The next street over that one can actually park on is a bit of a walk when you're with a toddler and carrying a lot of stuff for daycare/work.

UGH, that's so annoying. Our HOA won't let residents park in Visitors spaces.

[DrSally]

Dear Neighbor with the Multitude of Cars,

When you choose to park one of your 4 cars in your garage and the other 3 in the visitor spots in our townhome development, my visitors have no place to park. We park one of our 2 cars in our garage, and the other one on our driveway because that's the nice thing to do. Also, I know we will soon need to repave our driveway and I don't know where I will park when I do because you have claimed the visitor spaces as your own. The next street over that one can actually park on is a bit of a walk when you're with a toddler and carrying a lot of stuff for daycare/work.


Annoying!!

[TonFirst]

Dear Preschool Teacher,

Will you ever learn how to write a note? I *just* re-read the note you sent home about the class Easter Egg Hunt, which is on Wednesday. You say that each child will decorate their egg carton in class for Wednesday's hunt. But you don't mention that the egg cartons themselves (as well as 12 filled eggs) need to be *in class* TODAY, Monday, until the very way bottom of the note, as - I swear - a P.P.S. in tiny print. That happened to rip when it was stuffed in my child's tote bag next to a sticky art project, so the note ripped.

Dammit,

T.

[Twoboos]

Dear Lady in Step Aerobics class,

I do not enjoy seeing your thong. Not that I'm looking, but since you're between me & the instructor I'm trying to follow, unfortunately I catch a glimpse.

Pull up your pants or get a pair that fits. Or go to the back of the room.

Thank you,

Your fellow Steppers

[LarsMal]

Ooh...so glad to see this thread pop up again!

Dear Baby,
If you insist on placing constant pressure on my "lady parts" would you mind just doing it hard enough that my water breaks and we can get you out? Weeks of constant pain and pressure is not fair. Having to stop in the middle of walking, trying really hard not to grab my crotch, is really getting annoying. Come out or move away from my cervix! And where exactly ARE you laying that I feel pain in areas I didn't know could feel pain? I feel like what I imagine riding a horse for 2 straight weeks would feel like- not fun!

Oh...and while you're at it, kindly remove yourself from my bladder, too.

Can't wait to meet you!
Mommy

And while I'm at it:

Dear People (in general),
I'm pregnant! I'm pretty sure I'm not the first woman in the world to have a baby, so please stop staring at me. I'll admit, I look like I shoved a basketball up my shirt, but believe me, it's real. Yes, I have two small children and am ready to pop out another, but that does not give you the right to look at me with shock/horror/disgust- or whatever that expression is on your face. And lady at the grocery store, I don't know if you were in a daze, but staring at my bump the ENTIRE time I was in line at the check-out was really uncalled for. If you have a question, just ask, but please stop staring at me!

Thank you!