Regarding the K readiness thread

[mom_hanna]

My dd is 4.5 years old. She can easily do all 80 things on the pp's list. However, she misses the cutoff for K in the fall by 2 weeks. We are thinking about sending her to private school, and see how she does. We figure if they tell us mid-year that they think she may have to repeat K, we will just start her over in Public School the following year. We are hesitant because we are not sure she is emotionally ready for K. Or for 4th grade when she will be younger, or 5th grade...does this make sense? How do you know if your dc is ready? I don't want her to be bored in another year of preschool, as she may become a troublemaker and be disruptive, but I don't want to be a pushy parent. My older sister and brother both started school a year early, and turned out great, but I know that doesn't always work that way. Any thoughts?

[s_gosney]

My dd has an October birthday but could've started K last year in one of the districts here that has a late cutoff. That said, we opted to have her start "on time" by more typical cutoffs because we don't expect to be here for the duration of her schooling and with the trend to red-shirt in so many areas of the country (especially boys), she would end up being much younger than the boys in her grade (particularly worrisome for us in high school, etc). At this time last year, I think she was probably doing everything on that list, and I jokingly got onto dh a few weeks ago to not correct her about nickels vs pennies because that is literally the only thing on the K benchmarks (end of year) that she doesn't already know.
As I alluded to, my concern was not for her K year but for later years. I too have a October birthday and I did start K at 4. I did fine throughout most of school, but I really was not ready for the emotional pressures of dating come high school or for the big life decisions that you run into in college (I'm talking major/career type decisions, but other things could certainly apply).
However, I do worry that my dd will be bored and I also know that there is some research that shows that sending gifted kids on is better (hopefully Beth (egoldber) will respond with those references, I'm pretty sure it's her that's posted them before). For us though, I will say that this year has been really good for dd at preschool (she goes to a wonderful university lab school though where they have lots of teachers than can help meet individual children's levels and interests). She has really refined a lot of her social skills this year to maintain her strong, leader type personality while learning to be a little more aware of other's feelings, her tone of voice, etc.
Sorry this is long, but this is something I agonized about, so I thought I'd share our experience. I think that sending your dd on to K is a fine choice if that is what seems to make the most sense for her and your family. I do know that in our area it is too late to get in to most places for fall though, so that may be something to consider.
Good luck with your decision!

[Indianamom2]

I too have a 4.5 year old daughter who will miss the cut-off by a couple of weeks. When I read throught the list of 80 things for K readiness, she meets all of those requirements and then some. However compared to other kids her age, she is often slightly behind (say about 6 months).

While she technically meets all the requirements, I truly believe it's in her best interest to wait a year to start Kindergarten. I have heard many elementary teachers (my mom included) who say that it is almost always better to wait than to push ahead.

I look at it this way, instead of maybe always being slightly behind, she will hopefully have a bit of an advantage. Our only concern with our daughter is that she is SO TALL that she already looks like and is the size of a 6 year old...so by the time she does start, she will likely be much bigger than most of the kids, but that's the case now anyhow, so I'm not going to let that influence me.

Good luck with whatever you decide. For what it's worth, I was started early, but I also read early and did most things ahead of schedule, so it was an obvious choice and I don't regret it. You just have to look at your child and do what you think is best.

Christina

[JBaxter]

There are manythings that occur later on like driving and dating. We have a sept 1 cut off here and the private schools are also following those dates. You can test to get into public school early but the tests are really detailed.

You are also going to be dealing with parents who red shirt their children so she may not be the youngest by only 2 weeks but by a year or 2.

[hbridge]

As the parent of a similar child, we decided to not even consider Kindergarten early! As we see it, the addtional year of preschool is a gift; we are giving ourselves and DC the gift of time and the gift of childhood!

That being said, we have given DC more time in the last year of pre-school (a longer class and some extended time) and are opting for a full-day Kindergarten program! I'm just so thankful that we aren't dealing with the other side of the cut-off and trying to decide whether to hold an August child "back" a year! A fall birthday gives us one more year and gives DC that much more childhood!

Everyone rushes kids so much these days, I'm of the "let them be little" mentality!

Also, I'm not the least bit concerned about DC being bored in Kindergarten or being too advanced, there will be children everywhere on the spectrum and every child has their strengths and struggles.

That being said, every child is different and only you know what's best for your child and your family.

Hugs, you WILL make the right decision!

[niccig]

If she's currently in a preschool or similar program, can you ask what they'll do to keep her interested?

Our DS misses the cut-off by 4 weeks. We can't move him ahead. And I don't want to. I think given an extra year, he'll be more confident and really "ready". Plus it gives us more time together, before the business/pressure of school starts. A friend's DD started public K this year, and they are very busy with school work and activities.

We are actually looking at a private school pre-K, so DS can move into their elementary school program. Admissions in our area was finished end of February. I called a few schools this week and one has a pre-K spot available. Another does not, but the admissions director said that some families change their mind, and she'll know in May if there's a spot or not. So you could still call around and see if there are any places in a private school.

[bubbaray]

Just throwing out a different perspective. Here (BC, Canada), the K "cut off" is December 31. So, if the child turns 5 in the calendar year, they start K that September, even if they don't turn 5 until December 31. I only know one parent myself who held her son back (late November baby). I know another mom with a December 25 baby and she was adamant about not holding him back.

The "cutoff" issue is a non-issue here, and I've not heard of any lasting effects in terms of learning down the road. I've heard that literacy rates here are higher than in the US, so it doesn't seem to be affecting learning (at least reading).

[mom_hanna]

See, I knew there would be some people who had gone through this as well. Thanks for all your input. We actually have dd enrolled at the private school, but can withdraw up until July only forfeiting $100 deposit. You have all given me a lot to think about. Thanks for your perspectives.

[BelleoftheBallFlagstaff]

My dd has an October birthday but could've started K last year in one of the districts here that has a late cutoff. That said, we opted to have her start "on time" by more typical cutoffs because we don't expect to be here for the duration of her schooling and with the trend to red-shirt in so many areas of the country (especially boys), she would end up being much younger than the boys in her grade (particularly worrisome for us in high school, etc). At this time last year, I think she was probably doing everything on that list, and I jokingly got onto dh a few weeks ago to not correct her about nickels vs pennies because that is literally the only thing on the K benchmarks (end of year) that she doesn't already know.
As I alluded to, my concern was not for her K year but for later years. I too have a October birthday and I did start K at 4. I did fine throughout most of school, but I really was not ready for the emotional pressures of dating come high school or for the big life decisions that you run into in college (I'm talking major/career type decisions, but other things could certainly apply).
However, I do worry that my dd will be bored and I also know that there is some research that shows that sending gifted kids on is better (hopefully Beth (egoldber) will respond with those references, I'm pretty sure it's her that's posted them before). For us though, I will say that this year has been really good for dd at preschool (she goes to a wonderful university lab school though where they have lots of teachers than can help meet individual children's levels and interests). She has really refined a lot of her social skills this year to maintain her strong, leader type personality while learning to be a little more aware of other's feelings, her tone of voice, etc.
Sorry this is long, but this is something I agonized about, so I thought I'd share our experience. I think that sending your dd on to K is a fine choice if that is what seems to make the most sense for her and your family. I do know that in our area it is too late to get in to most places for fall though, so that may be something to consider.
Good luck with your decision!


I think that the social aspect is huge. Plus getting her period, boobies, etc. I want my DD to be "normal", as far as those things go.Being the smallest kid in the class could be hard. Plus, my DH wouldn't like the dating age difference! I think the long term social difference can be a big deal to kids. Getting your license all those things (that are such a a big deal at the time).

[Piglet]

It is funny, we were in a province with a March 1 cut-off and I was due in late February with DS2. Every day that got us closer to Feb. 28 was a stress for me - what if I am so overdue that he misses the cut off??? Sure enough I was finally induced, 2 weeksover due, March 10. I was crushed (silly, I know). Lo and behold we moved to Texas for a year this past summer and the cut off was September 1. DS2 was smack dab in the middle of al his classmates for birthdays. He did just fine. I stressed about all these things and they didn't even matter. Now granted there is a very good chance we are going to back to Canada and will be puttin him back in a class where he is the oldest, but he is not so mature and sophisticated that he will leave the other kids in his dirt. He is a sweet, quiet, normal kid (with a bit of a mischief streak for good measure) and he will be just perfect as the oldest kid. I wouldn't want to be on the decision side of things (i.e. the February birthday we had so hoped for) where YOU have to envision not just the readiness for K but the readiness for high school.

My advice is look for a great pre-K program and use that as a springboard for K. Maybe do a part-time Pre-K and a full-time K the following year.

[egoldber]

LOL! Well, I guess I am known as that parent.

Holding Sarah back (she has a late summer birthday and our cutoff is September 30) would have been a tragic mistake for her. She is very socially immature. Honestly, right now at age 7.5 she is STILL below the social level of the average K student. We actually just had a full evaluation done by a psychologist because she is having tremendous behavioral issues at school. The results are an odd mix of things, many of which are not relevant to this thread, but part of it is that she is highly gifted. The psychologist thinks a huge number of her issues are due to being incredibly bored. If we had held her back as soooo many people urged us too because she is socially immature, it would be even worse. She actually does best socially in situations where children are 2-4 years older than her.

So, my opinion, if your child is on track with the charts as to the expectations for school for the year they are supposed to attend, I would not hold them back. If they are *behind* academically, I might consider it. But I really cannot imagine holding back an average child who is on target developmentally. Boredom and acting out due to boredom is a very, very real concern. And while for some children it may be a gift of time, for other children it creates a school situation where they are inappropriately ahead of their peers and forced to go at the pace that the school dictates which may be WAY below their level and abilities. And that's when you get issues.

Now, all that being said, I'm not sure what to think about putting a child ahead. We will face this with Amy. At first I was *so* happy that she was born 2 weeks after the cutoff. Now I am conflicted. I think that she will easily be as academically gifted as Sarah is and she will be among the older kids her class, rather than the youngest. I will definitely consider private school for 2 years for her in order to get her "ahead" if that is what I think is the best decision for her at the time. And that is something I *never* thought I would say a few years ago.

ETA: And it doesn't hurt that the girls in my family tend to get their periods early (I was 10) so holding them back would make things even worse in that case.

[maestramommy]

Dora misses the cutoff in our state by one day. I'm reasonably confident that she will be able to do all the 80 things on that list by fall of 2010. However, we are not enrolling her early because socially and verbally she may not be ready. I'm basing this on what I see now. Things could change. At the same time her cognitive skills appear to be very much average, so unless she starts showing some signs of being very advanced, and therefore prone to being bored, I don't see any reason for hurrying her into K. My birthday is Dec. 1, and I ALWAYS felt the difference in age between me and my classmates. All the way through HS.

[erosenst]

For exactly ONE data point...

Our school system has an August 1 cutoff. But has an "automatic extension" to September 1 - meaning that if your child has an August bday, you can choose whether to put them in this year or next. Anything past September 1 requires testing.

At the K orientation (for parents) we just attended, the principal said that they very rarely (he actually was pretty sure never) put kids ahead much more than another month or so (meaning September bdays) because of the social aspects...partially because we're fortunate to be in a district that can challenge those kids who need the challenge. (Among other things, full-day K has a full-time instructional aide in the room to allow more time for small group activities...and the gifted and talented program is full-time starting in second grade.)

Good luck -

Emily