when to take the pacifier away??

[cli638]

when will people start looking at me funny if my child is still using her pacifier? what is the general recommendation? what do people do in "real life" ??

[Wife_and_mommy]

We have a 3.25 yo who we're working on this week. He agreed tonight to take his pacis to church tomorrow to "the babies". We'll see how that goes.

I think it's completely up to you. There are lots of options between not having it and never taking it out. You don't say how old your kiddo is but a good way to start would be only having it at bed/naptime. Our transition has been a few months in the making.

[Riley's mama]

I know this is supposed to be a "real life" question, but we followed the Baby 411 book and took the pacifier right after she turned 6 months. I was surprised at what an easy transition it was. She hadn't used it to sleep at night, but was using it for naps. We basically took it at the same time that we started putting her down for naps in the crib (Ferber) and it wasn't that bad.

I think the most important thing to do is just help your LO by giving a lovey or something like that that they can associate with sleep. Good luck!

[KBecks]

My 6 month old no longer uses a pacifier. When he seems not to want it as much then we stop. I personally think it's weird to see 2 year olds with pacifiers and I would not want that with my kids, but I understand different families have different ways.

[Melaine]

We are still dragging our feet on taking the pacis here. (DDs are 2 and a half). However, we cut back a long time ago to pacis just at nap and bedtime, so that really helps. At least I don't feel like the paci is keeping them from talking or things like that (also no one will think "why does that big kid have a paci?" in public). I honestly am just hanging on to it with thoughts of it helping transition them to toddler beds...which is a terrifying change (at least for me).

[amandabea]

Our DD is in FT daycare, so we used each room transition to reduce the paci use. Transition from infant to 1 yo room - went to paci at night and nap time only. Transition to 2 yo room - went to no pacis for big girls. This worked well for us as there was a "reason" we could use for the change.

[nfowife]

We are starting the transition to in the crib only (night and naps). I know it will be a long road, but I think it is time! DS just turned 2 and he loves his paci. I don't feel it interferes with his speech right now (in terms of development), but I am concerned about his teeth. DD on the other hand never took a paci, but she is a finger sucker. I know that is going to be MUCH worse to stop, but she only does it at nighttime so it's more contained.

[KrisM]

We took DS1's away at 4 months because we were putting it at night about 25 times and we thought it would be best if he learned to sleep without it. After a few tough nights, he did learn and learned to suck his fingers instead. He'll be 5 next month and we're still working on getting his fingers out of his mouth.

So, with DD, we didn't take it away. A week or so after she turned 2, she never picked it up again. We were just going to start working on it with her, but it was a non issue.

DS2 rarely takes one now. DH can not get him to accept one at all. I can sometimes in the car, but that's about it. He's 8.5 months.

I regert taking DS1's so early as the finger sucking is much harder to deal with. If we had to work on it at an older age, it would be a few tough days but it'd be done.

[jenny]

My baby stopped wanting it at around 7 months. We also didn't give it to her as often as she got older. She started teething and wanted other things to chew on besides a paci.

She's 8.5 months, and when we've tried to give it to her, she spits it back out.

I've heard some children naturally wean themselves. But I've also seen 2.5-year-olds with pacifiers. So I guess it depends on the baby and the parent.

[HIU8]

DS was 3 when we were finally able to get rid of his. For his 3 yr old checkup he gave it to the doctor for another little baby to use (doc threw it out of course). For an entire month prior, we had been talking it up and getting DS prepared. The first week was HARD, but he has never looked back after that. The dentise has remarked about his mouth and was concerned about the length of time he used a paci. I know we are in for some major orthodontia for DS.

DD never really liked the paci, even as a tiny infant. She really only liked the soothies with a finger stuck in them. We used them to help her calm herself up to about 3 months of age when she refused those as well. She is not a finger or thumb sucker either.

[smiles33]

Our DD is in FT daycare, so we used each room transition to reduce the paci use. Transition from infant to 1 yo room - went to paci at night and nap time only. Transition to 2 yo room - went to no pacis for big girls. This worked well for us as there was a "reason" we could use for the change.

We did something similar, using the day care room transition to get rid of the pacifier (which we did when she turned 15 months and moved to the walkers room). DH wanted to get rid of it much earlier as he's an orthodontist and concerned about DD's upper palate growth (in regular terms, the roof of your mouth could be affected the wrong way with frequent sucking). Frankly, I see plenty of kids with pacifiers who are walking and would've let her have it longer (especially since some 2.5 year olds in her current classroom still have it).

[belovedgandp]

Both of my boys (now 5 and 2) loved their pacifiers.

Older son didn't have a lovey. He'd go to sleep with one paci in his mouth and one in each hand. He had the paci to get through tough spots in the day until around 1 year old. Then it was restricted to the car and bed. By 2 it was in his bed only. He knew he had to be in bed to have it. He'd get upset, go to his room, sit on his bed, take a few drags on the paci, put it back in the bed, and get back to life. He moved from a toddler bed to a twin bed a month after turning 3 and the paci fairy came one night to take it to a baby and left a toy.

Second son is almost 2. He hasn't had the paci anywhere but bed and occasionally the car since 6 months. Compared to his brother he has a lovey that provides him much more comfort than the paci. His paci use increases when he's teething. He still uses them in bed.

I'll admit to giving people funny looks when they have to tell their child to take the paci out so they can understand their words. Both of my kids didnt' say much until almost 2, so without knowing how old the kid actually is I feel like they are close to 2 and that seems too old to me.

[LilMomma3]

My first 2 babies were total binky babies, just the way I like em! When they were 8 months old, we took them away and trained them to sleep through the night without them. It took awhile but they don't even miss them now. I think it is best to do it early enough so they are not traumatized by the whole event. Same with thumb-sucking. If you wait too long, it is the only way they know how to comfort themselves and suddenly they are being told they can't do that anymore.
I give my children a substitute comfort such as a blankie or stuffed animal that they can latch onto and use at their discretion. Hope this helps! I know it is an older post but wanted to get my 2 cents in.

[arivecchi]

I know this is supposed to be a "real life" question, but we followed the Baby 411 book and took the pacifier right after she turned 6 months. I was surprised at what an easy transition it was. She hadn't used it to sleep at night, but was using it for naps. We basically took it at the same time that we started putting her down for naps in the crib (Ferber) and it wasn't that bad.

I think the most important thing to do is just help your LO by giving a lovey or something like that that they can associate with sleep. Good luck!
This makes a LOT of sense. Take the paci away when you are doing sleep training. It is what I plan to do with DS2 very soon. DS1 used a paci until maybe 4 -5 months ago (he is 30 months now). We had wanted to take it away for the longest time, but he HAD to sleep with it. Well, one day we were in the car and he was sleeoing in his car seat with the paci in his mouth. Apparently, he started gagging on it and projectile vomited. That was the end of the paci for him. Although the incident was very scary, it gave us the perfect explanation to take it away and he was totally ok with it. Moral of the story: it is way easier to take the pacifier away when they are 6-10 months than when they are toddlers. Trust me.

[okinawama]

we are in the process of weaning my son off of his and he is almost 4 months.Like someone else said, we have had to pop it in MULTIPLE times at night. It hasn't been easy, he still struggles to find his hands, but I really hope that he learns to soothe himself thus sleeping better. We'll see.

[shoxie]

For our DD, who is now 3.3, it was a pretty easy transition. She was about 20 mos or so and did it on her own after we pushed it a bit - not really though. By the time she was 1, she really only used it for sleep. I'm glad we didn't do it very early, as she really had a strong need to suck - she's never been a good sleeper, but she would've been stuck to my boob all night had I not had the binky. She nursed every 2-3 hours until my DH nightweaned her at 19mos. For me, it was definitely a life saver. My ped at the time said not to worry about it until 3. Another ped told my friend to give it up around the 6-9 month mark. Honestly, I don't think there is any BEST time for all kids - everyone is different, and you have to go with what your child and your gut both tell you.

[a2mom]

My daughter is 14 months and we just took her bink (pacifier) away this week at our pediatrician's advice.

She was using it at naps and at night, plus when she was really upset. I just stopped giving it to her at all and hid the ones I could find, and she's doing fine. Some talking at night and taking a little longer to go to sleep but nothing major. Easier than I expected so far! I've heard it's easier the younger they are.

[allangering]

Nearly all babies use pacifiers, especially newborns. Conflicting advice about when to wean babies from pacifiers and misconceptions about their use confuse many parents. While experts debate this issue, you're left wondering if you're better off taking it away from your baby or letting her continue to use it. Making this decision involves knowing the pros and cons of pacifier use.We didn't put much emphasis on it in the first place but, when he laid down he had to have it. he would be okay until he fell asleep and it fell out of his mouth. immediately he would start to cry. i took it away and never gave it back, end of story. at the time he was less than a year so might have been a little easier.

[wendibird22]

DD never took a paci...we tried! But, DDs twin cousins had them until their 3rd birthday. For months before then they had them only at bedtime and their mom and day talked to them about the pacifier fairy coming on their 3rd birthday to prepare them. Sure enough the paci fairy came the night before and when they woke up birthday morning they each had a toy from the fairy. Both mom and dad were surprised at how easy the transition was. That first night there were a few tears but none after that.

[aniagara]

DS is 14 months old in a couple days. We've always restricted it to naps only, once we got the first hint of "come in all night and put this back in my mouth" if we used it at bedtime - lately, since he started daycare, he's sick a lot - so he's been getting it also during the day when he's really having a rough time - e.g. car ride home while sick from daycare to home, etc. Plan was that when he drops a nap, he'll just have it then for the remaining nap, and when he drops that nap, he won't use it at all - but I think we'll play it by ear and if he seems like he can do without it totally, then fine - my goal is by 2 years or sooner so not waiting until he drops naps completely.

Every kid is different, and I absolutely did not want a thumb sucker for various reasons. Neat quote I read is that the orthodontist is cheaper in the long run than the psychiatrist. Helps me keep perspective when I'm freaking out about having a paci until he's two or so - which is still nice and early especially given his limited use. But I still freak out, wanting to do the right thing! In the end, it's instinct and judgment. I want him to develop self-soothing, and he demonstrates plenty of ability for that. If he can be soothed a bit at other times by the paci (especially with recent daycare changes, etc) - i think it's fine. He also has had a lovie since about 6 months and he cries at night if he's lost it in the crib..... oh well...!

[cono0507]

DS was 18 mo and DD was 22 mo. It turned out to be really easy to get rid of them - I was shocked! Now at 26 mo DD seems to be sucking her thumb when she is tired or needs to soothe herself when she never did that before. I'm not stressing about it though because based on genetics (DH's and my teeth!) she'll be in braces as a teen anyhow! :)

[MoJo]

The CNP just told us this past weekend said we should start working on it (at 16 months), not realizing that DD gave it up on her own around 3 months.

She sucks her thumb to go to sleep, and occasionally to calm down from a tantrum.

I'm with the PP: it seems she has my teeth, and I needed, got, and need braces again. And I never sucked my thumb.