Just don't love anything out there...

[ha98ed14]

So we wet house hunting with our realtor yesterday. The one house we saw in our current town, which is where we want to stay, was in an awesome neighborhood, great local school. And the house reeked of pee. The owner, an older woman, was there when we saw it and it was her bathroom where the smell was coming from. I have never been so grossed out in my life. So now it is clear why this house is in our price range when nothing else in that neighborhood is. It's 3/2 and an open floor plan: living/dining combo and open to the kitchen. Needs paint and a good scrubbing, but otherwise is livable. It's ok. We'd be buying for the neighborhood.

Second one is one town north of us. Still good schools, just not the one DH works for. I really wanted to keep DD in his district because he could get her in wherever we thought was best. So that option doesn't exist if we move out of the district. This house is 2/1, but it has an an extra sunroom that is part of the original house that could be a 3rd bedroom. I call it a sun room because one wall is taken up by two windows and a french door that does out to the back porch. It also has a separate dining room from the living room, which I like.

The only think I really do not like about this house (other than it is not in my town) is the bathroom. The bathroom has been re-done in this Italian stone with a separate roman tub and shower stall, all tiled in this renaissance looking stone. It might be a nice bathroom... in a house with 5 other bathrooms, but it looks ridiculous in a house with 2 bedrooms and one bath. And the toilet is in a weird place: right as you enter the door, the toilet is right ion front of you. DD could stand in the doorway and watch me go, so I am sure she would love it. Shouldn't the toilet be tucked back in the rear of the room, not front and center? But the bathroom is the only thing I don't like, but there is only one, so I can't even use the other and pretend this one doesn't exist. FWIW, DH likes the bathroom. I hate it.

So I'm feeling thoroughly sorry for myself. The house we lost had it's issues too, but at least I would be able to re-do it my way. This one was just re-done, so since we are paying for the new bath in the price, we can't justify ripping it out. Plus then we would be without a bathroom. How does that work? If the Italian bathroom house was in my town, I would go for it and live with the bathroom. But it isn't.

We are writing offers just because things are getting snatched up really really fast and we have no irons in the fire. But I don't really want either of these houses. But I dunno if we should pass on these and wait for more to come on the market or not. What if nothing else comes on the market. This Sucks. So pissed. Oh well. Thanks for letting me vent.

[khm]

Don't buy something you hate.

No matter how much rent you'd be "wasting" it is NOT WORTH buying a house you hate. Not ever. Lather rinse repeat!!!

It's coming up on the busiest time!!! More and more houses will be coming on the market come May-June. Do not buy something you loathe!! You will hate yourself if you sign on the dotted line only to see the perfect house show up with a for sale sign in front of it!!

[daniele_ut]

I know that you are still smarting from the experience with the last house. Are you guys in a hurry to buy? If not, perhaps you should take a few weeks off and then go back to looking. We lost the house that I thought I wanted more than anything in a bidding war in June last year - by only $3000 I later found out. I was beyond crushed and nothing else compared to it for me. We ended up taking 2 months off from looking and found the house we are in now in September. You'll probably hear this from other people, and it drove me nuts at first to hear it, but the last house wasn't the right one for you. There is one out there, you just need to be patient.

As for buying a house with one bathroom that needs to be renovated, that is what we did, and we did the work *before* we moved in. There is no other way. You can't have kids and live with no bathroom. Honestly, buying a house that needs work is a large PITB. If I had known how tired I would be of working on our house 6 months ago, I might have reconsidered the fixer-upper!

[dcmom2b3]

Having no easy alternative is hard. :hug: But a thought? If the pee smell problem is just limited to (emanates from) the bathroom then it seems like both houses are on equal footing --need to have BA redone. To what extent is the question. I dunno, is this something that a good inspector could get to the bottom of? Why exactly is the smell there? I'd ask my realtor to ask her realtor to come up with an answer to that question.

But, for the record, I declare a pox on those over the age of four who tinky-wink where they ought not. S'pecially in houses that you want to buy. So not right.

Again, hugs.

[kijip]

You need to love your house enough that once you have placed in offer, you stop feeling the need to look. We love the place we are in so much, we have not even second guessed ourselves about neighborhood issues (which we see as temporary) or about the fact that for the same price this year, we could have gotten into a house with a yard vs. a townhouse. We love living in a townhouse and love the fact there is very little maintenance. If we had bought 1 of the other places we looked at a little sooner just because they were there, we would be in second guessing real estate hell right now. Just my 2 cents. Get something you like.

A lot of houses will be listed at the end of the school year or thereabouts. It sucks but be patient. And stick to the location and school district you want.

I hope something you love comes up.

[niccig]

I agree that you have to love the house. It's probably going to be your home for the next 5+ years, maybe even longer. Location you can't change, so that has to be right. You can change some cosmetic things, but beware of homes that you have to do a LOT of work, like additions etc. You're talking mega money to add or go up into a 2nd story. We moved into our house and liked everything except the kitchen. We thought we would remodel, 4 years later and we probably won't be able to do it for several more years now because crash has eaten up our equity. It's fine, it's livable, but I wish we had realised when we bought how much it would cost to redo. I would also have preferred a more kid-friendly back yard, but we got the house before DS, so we weren't thinking of things like that. We do love the location though.

Don't be in a rush, as you'll have this house for many years and if you don't really want it, you will regret it every single day...as I do when I do battle in my kitchen...

[egoldber]

I know it can be hard to overlook these things, but I would go with the house with the pee smell. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I can remember that so vividly from my grandmother's house.....

But the WORSE thing that happens is you need to replace the bathroom floor and maybe the subfloor. Honestly, just not that big of a deal and common in older bathrooms anyway. Maybe $1K-$2K. It's a pretty easy fix.

ETA: And I have a bit of a different philosophy on houses. I don't think there is a perfect house. It's like husbands. They all have flaws, but some you can live with and some you can't. Some flaws are cosmetic and superficial and some are just too deeply flawed to be salvageable. Thankfully there are inspectors who can help you sort through houses. ;) But yes, at some point you do need to commit to them, flaws and all.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I know it can be hard to overlook these things, but I would go with the house with the pee smell. I know EXACTLY what you mean. I can remember that so vividly from my grandmother's house.....

But the WORSE thing that happens is you need to replace the bathroom floor and maybe the subfloor. Honestly, just not that big of a deal and common in older bathrooms anyway. Maybe $1K-$2K. It's a pretty easy fix.

ETA: And I have a bit of a different philosophy on houses. I don't think there is a perfect house. It's like husbands. They all have flaws, but some you can live with and some you can't. Some flaws are cosmetic and superficial and some are just too deeply flawed to be salvageable. Thankfully there are inspectors who can help you sort through houses. ;) But yes, at some point you do need to commit to them, flaws and all.

:yeahthat: I agree, it is an inexpensive, minor fix. It won't be a big deal.

I hope something works out soon!

Beth

[Ceepa]

We looked for months and months before we found this house. I kept saying I wanted to find a house that excited me just to think about living there even with necessary alterations once we moved in. Well after our offer was accepted I used to drive out of my way down the street it was on just to see it. The neighbors probably thought I was a criminal casing houses. LOL.

Times are hard but *if you can* wait to find a house that you are excited to call home, do it.

[DrSally]

I understand. I have been in that situation where I wasn't "loving" anything out there. You hate to buy a house that you don't love. My first thought was the same as pp's, redoing the bath on house #1 shouldn't be too expensive. That and a good cleaning/airing out would hopefully fix the problem. I understand what a turnoff the smell is though.

[KBecks]

I would take 3 br / 2 ba in a heartbeat over 2 br / 1 ugly bath and a sunroom. A sunroom with a door to the outside is not a bedroom, IMO. And it's in the wrong town. Redoing a new bathroom does not make sense and doesn't sound like a good use of your money. Frankly you should not offer on those houses unless you can really see yourself living in them. I agree that fixing a smell should not be too hard.

As others have said, there should be a lot of listings coming up. I live where there is not a lot of turnover but this is the time of year that the sale signs pick up all over.

[KBecks]

Beth, I like the houses like husbands analogy. And, you need to look for a house that has the good core -- good systems, good foundation, etc. etc. Cosmetics you can fix up relatively cheap and easy.

[Kungjo]

I would take a house that is 3 bed/2 bath anytime as well. Much more desirable than the other one that's not even in the town you want. If you take away the pee smell, can you picture yourself living there? Is it a good layout that you can work with? Does it have potential?

I'm sure that you're not the only house hunter that is turned off by the pee smell. It may even work in your favor and land you a great deal. How long has it been on the market? If you can picture yourself living there after you make changes to it, why don't you try putting in an offer?

GL

[KpbS]

Don't buy something you hate.

No matter how much rent you'd be "wasting" it is NOT WORTH buying a house you hate. Not ever. Lather rinse repeat!!!

It's coming up on the busiest time!!! More and more houses will be coming on the market come May-June. Do not buy something you loathe!! You will hate yourself if you sign on the dotted line only to see the perfect house show up with a for sale sign in front of it!!

:yeahthat:

ITA

[billysmommy]

We looked for months and months before we found this house. I kept saying I wanted to find a house that excited me just to think about living there even with necessary alterations once we moved in. Well after our offer was accepted I used to drive out of my way down the street it was on just to see it. The neighbors probably thought I was a criminal casing houses. LOL.

Times are hard but *if you can* wait to find a house that you are excited to call home, do it.


I'm so glad to learn that we aren't the only ones who have done that :) There's a little parking lot across the street from the house we're in now and we used to drive over and park there when we had a showing at our old house ~ we'd sit and look at the house and let ds1 sleep.

[niccig]

Any news on the houses? I know you're in a tough spot. It sounds like the 3br 2 bath would be OK, IF you could remove the smell...maybe good scrub, new paint and the like would be all you need to do? Friend's toilet always smelled of pee - it wasn't working properly and I think their DS missed a lot. They replaced the toilet, and the smell has gone...

[ha98ed14]

Any news on the houses? I know you're in a tough spot. It sounds like the 3br 2 bath would be OK, IF you could remove the smell...maybe good scrub, new paint and the like would be all you need to do? Friend's toilet always smelled of pee - it wasn't working properly and I think their DS missed a lot. They replaced the toilet, and the smell has gone...

I think the 3/2 would be ok, but I kinda doubt we will get it. It's in a really desirable area and the list price is 20K over our max price. But our realtor has been encouraging us to make an offer anyway, because you never know. So, while it would be nice, I kinda doubt it's gonna happen.

On the house one town north, I talked to a friend who just bought their house a year ago. The also lived (rented) in our town before they bought. They wanted to stay here too, but they couldn't find anything in their price range that they wanted; i.e. not a condo. They moved one town over and it's ok. I told her about this house and she said it sounded nice. She encouraged me to let go of having to stay in this town, which I think might just be the reality. I mean, there just isn't anything here in our price range that we want. Bsically, what is on our price range is on the wrong side of the tracks. The house one town north is in a good area. That town is smaller and more homogeneous. Not exactly what I want, but still more than livable with good schools. The mall is there. Some people would probably prefer to live there rather than in my town. I just like my town because I know it and feel comfortable here. But both have good schools. A teacher at DH's school lives in the town north of us and her kids go to the public schools there and she is a very together woman. I know she would never let her kids be in a bad school. They would send them to a private school first. So I'm trying to be more ok with it because it seems like the most realistic option. So do you know how much it costs to build an extra bathroom? Ha ha ha...

[niccig]

So do you know how much it costs to build an extra bathroom? Ha ha ha...

A lot. More than redoing an existing bathroom. If you want 3 br/2 ba I would keep looking for a house that already has the no. of rooms. Easier to redo existing space than add it on.

[Aarohismom]

Ahhhhhh! We are sooo in the same situation right now. Most of the listings are either short sales or foreclosuers, mostly short sales. Then there is this ridiculously high HOA cost ($200-$350+) and mello roose. It is insane. I hate buying house on the west coast and miss my house on the east coast. Another thing is, why most of the houses in socal or atleast in my city are near major freeways or major streets?

[WitMom]

It is so hard to live in a house you don't love. I've done it, and I just never felt like it was home. Also, because I didn't love it, I didn't really want to make it feel like home, if that makes any sense. When you find a place you love, you can't wait to settle in and make it yours. If it's a place you're not crazy about, it just feels like "why bother to make the effort. It will never be what I want it to be." At least that's the way my mind works.

[egoldber]

Adding a room onto a house is a MUCH more expensive proposition that renovating an existing one.

[ha98ed14]

Adding a room onto a house is a MUCH more expensive proposition that renovating an existing one.

Ok, so maybe this isn't the right house. DH loves it. I like the house and but for the lack of a 2nd bathroom could really see myself living in the house part. The location (not in my town) is a separate issue in my mind. But is a bathroom worth objecting over? It's just the three of us. We have a 2 bedroom, 1 bath apartment now and we fit in it ok. We don't plan on any more kids in the forseeable future. So we could do it and people not think we were living like refugees. Of course if anyone comes to visit, having only one bathroom becomes a problem in my mind. All my friends and family are on the east coast, so I would like to be able to offer them a comfortable place to visit. With a room and a bath. Even a half bath would be an improvement. Ugh....

The problem is WE HAVE NO TIME. My lease is up in 3 days. I extended it one month thinking we would close escrow (was supposed to happen tomorrow) and make our repairs and be in by the end of May. Now we are back to square one. And the #$%^&* apartment manager is not making it easy for us to go month to month! How I wish a 3/2 house in my price range would fall from the sky and land in my town!!!

[niccig]

The problem is WE HAVE NO TIME. My lease is up in 3 days. I extended it one month thinking we would close escrow (was supposed to happen tomorrow) and make our repairs and be in by the end of May. Now we are back to square one. And the #$%^&* apartment manager is not making it easy for us to go month to month! How I wish a 3/2 house in my price range would fall from the sky and land in my town!!!

Any chance of finding somewhere else to rent where they will do month to month? What's the problem with your current apartment manager letting you do it now?

It sounds like you're rushing to buy, and that's just not conducive to finding a house that you can live with.

If you want 3 bed, 2 bath then keep looking. It's really expensive to add on. I've seen friends go through over 100K doing that and fixing the rest of the house (refinished floors, new windows, new AC) etc, and the DH did as much work as he could. They bought 10 yrs ago though, so it was cheaper than buying a bigger house. We're a 2 bed, 2 bath but size of 3 bedroom house because of large living and family room. One option for us is to reconfigure and get a 3 bedroom from what we have rather than add on, or up - going up is even more expensive....here's an average cost on common renovations, you can narrow it down to your part of the country...of course SoCal is expensive http://www.remodeling.hw.net/2008/costvsvalue/national.aspx[/quote]

[egoldber]

I do agree that unless you are in a rush to buy now for some reason, maybe find a different rental that you would be happier with.

More than 1 bathroom truly is a luxury, but it isn't one I care to do without unless I have to. I grew up in a house with six people and 1 bathroom, so it is doable. (As a consequence I am VERY fast in the bathroom to this day...a useful skill ;) ) But again, not something I care to deal with. I think a 2/1 would be more common vs a 3/1.

[Momof3Labs]

The problem is WE HAVE NO TIME. My lease is up in 3 days. I extended it one month thinking we would close escrow (was supposed to happen tomorrow) and make our repairs and be in by the end of May. Now we are back to square one. And the #$%^&* apartment manager is not making it easy for us to go month to month! How I wish a 3/2 house in my price range would fall from the sky and land in my town!!!


If the apt manager won't go month to month, then find a new place to live. Perhaps with a 6 month lease, or even month to month. Give yourself time to find what you love - even if it isn't on the market today, that could change at any time as listings change all the time. With the 2/1, think also about resale - that's a pretty small home (at least where I come from, lol) that doesn't fit an average family of 4 very well and may be harder to sell down the road than a 3/2.

[ha98ed14]

If the apt manager won't go month to month, then find a new place to live. Perhaps with a 6 month lease, or even month to month. Give yourself time to find what you love - even if it isn't on the market today, that could change at any time as listings change all the time. With the 2/1, think also about resale - that's a pretty small home (at least where I come from, lol) that doesn't fit an average family of 4 very well and may be harder to sell down the road than a 3/2.

First, thank you all for continuing to read my saga of on going posts about this. From the advice given in this thread, I had a discussion with DH. We decided on the must haves: extra half bath (so at least 2 toilets) and either a third bedroom or a family room and a 2 car garage (Yes, in my area, there are tons of houses with only one.) So that is what we decided we must have to be sane. I emailed the realtor and told him. It means we are withdrawing some offers, but that's ok. I just have to be ok with it taking longer. My apartment is going to jack up the rent if we go month to month, but I'm just gonna have to live with it. I am not prepared to move and then move again if/ when we find a house. I also decided I can be ok with moving to the town north of us. It's not what I envisioned, but if it had what I wanted, I can live there. The schools are good.

So thank you all for your advice. Hopefully we will find something we love in our town, but if not, hopefully we can find something we can live with.

[niccig]

First, thank you all for continuing to read my saga of on going posts about this. From the advice given in this thread, I had a discussion with DH. We decided on the must haves: extra half bath (so at least 2 toilets) and either a third bedroom or a family room and a 2 car garage (Yes, in my area, there are tons of houses with only one.) So that is what we decided we must have to be sane. I emailed the realtor and told him. It means we are withdrawing some offers, but that's ok. I just have to be ok with it taking longer. My apartment is going to jack up the rent if we go month to month, but I'm just gonna have to live with it. I am not prepared to move and then move again if/ when we find a house. I also decided I can be ok with moving to the town north of us. It's not what I envisioned, but if it had what I wanted, I can live there. The schools are good.


Sounds like a plan.
Jacking up the rent is a PITA, but in the long run it will be cheaper than buying a house that isn't right, and you're stuck with it for many many years.

[khm]

I know it will suck to pay a jacked-up rent. BUT, it will NOT suck as bad, nor be as expensive as any type of addition or other major renovation. Just try not to fixate on the rent, it is a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme.

I really think you will have more options as spring rolls on. In my market, new houses are popping up like crazy. AND, most folks looking at opens either just put their house on the market or say they will within a week or two.

[egoldber]

I do agree that many, many people wait until late spring/toward the end of school to list their houses for sale.

[Momof3Labs]

Paying jacked up rent for a few months or so is much better than getting stuck in a house that isn't right for you. The costs of selling and moving are huge, plus selling can take a long time and not happen at the price you want. Once you don't feel pressured to do something FAST, it will be easier to look and envision the possibilities in the properties that you do see.