S/O from Green Mama: Does your DH support your pro-environmental changes?

[smiles33]

I really admire how much kayte's been able to do and it just made me realize we have a long way to go at our house! I feel like my best efforts are wasted since it seems like DH is "counteracting" my efforts at every step. He never recycles (I pick through the trash to find stuff he's tossed that should be recycled), turn off lights for him when he leaves the room, and stopped composting because he couldn't stand the little flies that congregated by our grass clippings bin (which is out in the side yard!). When he complained about the CFLs I put in the rest of the house, I ended up putting back the regular bulbs in his study.

While I convinced him to put in a solar PV system on our roof, he sees that as his excuse to leave lights on now! I also hope to buy a plug-in car once those come down in price, but any benefits will be offset by his SUV (which he needs to tow his bass boat, which burns up a lot of gasoline as he fishes as much as he can get away with--at least once/month but would go every weekend if I let him).

Does your DH readily adapt pro-enviro behaviors?

[brittone2]

DH rocks with this, and we've been good about encouraging each other. I think he likes demonstrating earth-friendly choices to DS and DD.

[bubbaray]

He supports changes that immediately save money (not using the dry cycle on the d/w for example, which we've not done since we purchased our house nearly 10 yrs ago). He also won't microwave in plastic at all.

Other changes, not so much. He's not convinced organic produce is "worth it".

He's also not convinced that driving a large vehicle is bad for the environment. He's looking (been looking for a looooooong time) for a new vehicle and keeps coming back to large pickups, which actually get better gas mileage than his current SUV, even though they are larger.

I do what I can, KWIM?

[citymama]

My DH is a recycling and composting maniac! Unlike me, he hardly ever uses paper towels and other paper cleaning products. He is a minimalist! His vice is he drives more than I do (hardly ever - I use public transit and walks almost everywhere), but even so, it's about 2-3 miles a day. He's a better materials conservationist; I'm the energy saving nut, turning off lights, switching us to all CFLs and not using the car unless necessary. We're both good on buying organic and minimizing chemicals in the house, although he tends to find fewer "green" replacements for chemicals used in home projects, automotive, etc uses.

[o_mom]

Some of each for us....

I switched us over to green cleaning stuff and shampoo/soap/lotion. DH uses it because it is there. We still have a few non-super-green things like deodorant and shaving cream.

Recycling is just what we do normally. Since before we were married we both recycled. Glass, plastic (1&2), metal and newspaper are standard. I really want to find a place to take cardboard since that would be the next biggest category with all the cereal boxes, etc. We rarely have more than our single can each week. I just can't figure out how the neighbor with only 3 people living there can have 2-3 cans each week. These are the big, truck with an arm type cans, not a small can. If we could recycle cardboard, I'll bet we would be down to half a can each week.

DH loves the CFLs.... I can't stand them. I hate not being able to see for 10 min after I turn on the lights. I go into a room to get something and feel like I need a flashlight to find it. Hate is not even a strong enough word for how I feel about CFLs. There. I said it. :D

We don't have a compost pile yet - we left one at the old house. I see Sam's has bins in stock, so that is on the list for the weekend. We are growing an organic garden this year and joined a Naturally Grown CSA. Neither of us can bring ourselves to pay for all organic. Our choices are pretty crappy around here and I haven't found anything compelling enough to go beyond a few things that we get organic. All the store brand milk around here is hormone free, but I really don't care so much about rBGH.

Cloth diapers are something both of us wanted. We slack off sometimes, but I know we have saved at least half the sposies from the landfill over the three boys. It is really motivating with the third because it is essentially free at this point.

We still have plastic tupperware. I was tempted by the Glaslock set at Costco yesterday, but our tupperware drawer is within reach of a toddler, so I'm holding off on that. We use plastic plates and cups for the kids, but they are 'good' plastic and we never microwave them. Paper napkins and paper towels are still used here, though we don't go through the towels very fast. Oh, and paper TP as well. ;)

[bubbaray]

I should cut my DH some slack, I guess. We are on the WestCoast and in a very "green" area, so a lot of stuff that is normal for us, is pretty green for others. For example, we've been recycling everything we possibly can since we moved here 10yrs ago.

*I* am the holdout on CFLs too. I hate the delay, plus I'm more wigged out about having mercury in the house if they break. In my defence, I was the one who purchased all new LED Christmas lights for our house this year, DH prefers the old-style ones.

I'm trying to get my DH to buy a push mower (he has a gas one, very un-green). He refuses and says if I get one, *I* have to use it. Um, yeah, not so much.

We tried to compost here, but gave up.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Yep, he has always been interested and did things on his own as well.

Beth

[BayGirl2]

My DH is more instinctively green than I am, but I've made a lot of progress since we've been together. I think its because he grew up in Northern CA (where green habits are taught from birth) and I grew up on the East Coast where its considered a burden (I stood out when I tried to set up can recycling). We are pretty green, for being mainstream corporate people: we recycle and compost nearly everything, reuse as much as possible, take public transit to work, belong to a local organic CSA, and agree on using cloth diapers and wipes as much as possible.

Even though I support Green in concept, I am resistant to a few of his tactics: he collects and reuses grey water from vegetable washing (gross when its sitting in the kitchen); I tolerate the CFL bulbs in the house but can't stand the delay and color; He hates that we waste water to maintain a small lawn in the front yard required by our HOA (I love having a lawn); I will drive if the PT ride is long, inconvenient, or if I have a business committment; he supports the "if its yellow, let it mellow, if its brown flush it down" thing and I just don't want to see anyone else's pee; Oh, and lately he's been taking 1/4 of a tiny paper towel at a time from our select-a-size roll and that's just annoying.

I think part of it is what you are raised around and used to, and part of it is making the conscious committment to change because you believe in the benefits. If someone is not personally committed to change it won't happen.

[Ceepa]

Though DH doesn't really buy into a total green lifestyle he has been supportive of any products or systems I initiate. He happily goes along except for the CFLs. Luckily, I don't like the idea of them, either.

[o_mom]

I'm trying to get my DH to buy a push mower (he has a gas one, very un-green). He refuses and says if I get one, *I* have to use it. Um, yeah, not so much.


Oooo.... forgot this one. We now own a push reel mower. I will qualify that with it is used to mow the parts that we can't get the riding mower into, so not completely green, but better than running a gas push mower or the weed whacker. The selling point to DH was that it can hang on the wall and not take up precious garage floor space. It was also much cheaper.

[smiles33]

Wow, so many of you have really pro-enviro DHs! My DH, who was also raised in NorCal like me, teases me all the time that I'm a total hippie. Ironically, we really aren't that environmentally radical. We're what I call "moderate environmentalists" as we do what we can if it's convenient/reasonable. I recycle because it only takes a few extra minutes to toss in a different bin (or dig through the trash for all the cans/recycleable plastic containers/glass that DH tosses), but I didn't do cloth diapers because I didn't want to deal with the extra laundry. I took the commuter bus to work for 3 years but stopped when I had DD as I didn't want her to ride without seat belts on a 1 hour freeway commute when I could drive us in my car with a seat belt and make it in 30 minutes. I'd love to support a CSA but I'm a carnivore at heart and rarely eat veggies unless DH "hides" them in stews/paella/pasta sauce/mashed potatoes.

Well, I guess I should just remind myself that every effort helps, right?


he supports the "if its yellow, let it mellow, if its brown flush it down" thing and I just don't want to see anyone else's pee;

:hysterical: This CRACKS me up as it was the motto for the 6th grade science camp I attended up in the Marin Headlands (north of San Francisco). Disgusting practice, but they had major water conservation issues there.

[pastrygirl]

He has surprised me; sometimes he seems to groan whenever I bring up something new, and sometimes he suggests stuff like installing solar panels! He even talking about some kind of "green" electricity/heat system that we could set up in our external garage -- it generates electricity, and as a by-product, creates heat that you can pipe into your house. How cool would that be? Yet, he HATED and DETESTED cloth diapers! But doesn't mind all my other reusable personal products.

Seconds ago, I made up my mind to start using cloth wipes for myself at meals, since I've always used them for my son. I don't know how he will react to that!

[BayGirl2]

:hysterical: This CRACKS me up as it was the motto for the 6th grade science camp I attended up in the Marin Headlands (north of San Francisco). Disgusting practice, but they had major water conservation issues there.

Yes, I believe the yellow-mellow thing came from that era of drought! I think they taught it in school in the 70's or 80's.

We may have another drought this year so he try's to get me to do it. It kind of makes sense, but I just can't deal. We have super low, flow toilets now, that should be enough!

[gatorsmom]

My husband is getting better. When I knew him in Houston, Texas, he didn't recycle anything. He didn't even recycle aluminum cans which I"d been doing as long as I can remember. His parents STILL don't!!! I find it shocking.

But he's slowly getting on board. He does a great job of throwing the right recyclables into the recycling bin and he developed a product that is green that he's now selling- that's a huge step. If it saves us some money (or apparently can make us some money), he's all about it.

He is also finding that the more natural products make his terrible skin ailments (eczema, severe psoriasis) feel much better so he's becoming a big advocate of chemical free products- despite the cost I usually incure to have them shipped up here.

If it's inconvenient though, he's not for it. It has to be easy to be green, or he rails against it. For example, he is all about spraying the heavy-duty weed killers on our yard to wipe out the weeds. There is NO WAY he'd agree to a compost pit. And even though he doesn't really need an SUV, he AIN"T giving up his Yukon.

baby steps, I guess.

[kayte]

I think DH humored me until right before we had DD. I think him listening to our RE concerning our infertility issues and bringing another being onto the planet really changed his outlook. Now he is ready for us to move out to the country and build a green home from the ground up. (He is quite disappointed we can't have a wind turbine on our roof because of the neighborhood rules) I think it's funny now how much he gets on his guy friends about the not so eco-friendly state of their households. He got his golf course to put recycling cans throughout the course.

He does, however, really miss his old skin lotion --which rated a 9 on the chemical database. His skin--his legs especially- gets ashy in the winter. Whenever I don't see it I tease him he has a bottle of his old lotion hiding in his car.

[maestramommy]

We are only moderately green, but yes, Dh and I are generally on the same page. He was supportive of switching to cloth diapers, since I'm primarily responsible for changing and washing them. But when I started to get into a funk about it he said I needed a pep talk from other CDing moms and told me to go online and ask for one:ROTFLMAO:

We are both super motivated when it comes to recycling, now that we're living in a town with one stop recycling. Dh continues to faithfully ride his bike to work, rain or shine. The only time he didn't this winter was when there was actually snow on the ground.

We feel the same way about organic food. It's a good idea, but just TOO EXPENSIVE. We try to compromise and buy local when possible.

Dh is very motivated about avoiding parabens and phthalates if it concerns the kids. For himself not so much but he's willing to switch so we only have to buy one product. So things like lotions, creams, shampoo, bubble bath, etc. When the BPA in bottles hit it big in the paper, he didn't even want to buy the alternative plastic. He opted for glass instead. In general Dh is instinctively green because he abhors waste of any kind.

Although we are building up a financial reserve as much as possible, he is planning on spending the money to beef up the attic insulation to current standards. This is to prevent ice dams, but also to lower our heating and cooling bills. He is also really motivated about piling up and splitting logs and saving towards getting a fireplace insert woodstove to bring down our heating costs further (we have oil heat).

And we're both in agreement about sticking with our sedan and 3 across in the backseat as long as we possibly can.

In general we reuse, reuse, reuse.

[pb&j]

DH started out way crunchier than me. So yes, he's been delighted as I've trended crunchier.

[MamaMolly]

DH won't recycle. He says he's 'not going to wash the garbage' and acts like that is an excuse to not even recycle paper. It is pretty ugly around here when it comes to the recyclables. He is really passive aggressive about it. Like he will put his newspapers *on* the recycling bag, not *in* it. So it is crumpled and no one can put anything else in it. Just today I picked up a pile of his newspaper that he tossed on the kitchen floor where the recycling box was...yesterday. Pretty childish, and it drives me nuts. :(

He tolerates my purchasing of safer baby care products, but doesn't really see the need of it until he reads about Pthalates and BPAs in Time, Consumer Reports or Readers Digest. Again, frustrating.

He's replaced the bulbs with the CFLs for the savings, and that's about as green as he gets. I do what I can but sometimes it is really defeating.

[kijip]

My husband is more into the environmental good of the many green things we do than I am. I will admit I am in it for the money (we save tons not buying disposable stuff and paper towels etc) and WRT cloth diapers, for the better fecal containment, LOL.

My son is the greenest of us all, thanks to an after school club at school. :thumbsup:

[deannanb]

My husband is tolerant of most of my "greening" the house
-- my cloth diapering (he usually reaches for the disposable - but has been known to put on a cloth) - he did put up a clothes line for me
-- the garden
recycling isn't high at all on his list -

we are switching lightbulbs where we can

[daisymommy]

I've slowly dragged DH over to the dark side as well ;) Now he's as much of a "green-freak" as I am :D So much so that if he finds a can in the trash he'll dig it through the garbage to pull it out, and then tsk-tsk me (in a joking manner of course).

One thing I've done that has really helped is to constantly read him articles, bits of news, web stories, etc. about all of this stuff, so to him, it has become our "mainstream." Also, it doesn't hurt that it is all focused on how dangerous these other stuff is for our babies and kids. That's his hot-button as a protective Daddy!

[MontrealMum]

DH is actually pretty "green". While the environment is a big motivator for him (my friends call him nature boy), mostly, it's because he's amazingly cheap! And he comes from a long line of amazingly cheap - sorry, frugal ;) While my dad had me peeling labels off tin cans in the 70s for the recycle and organized annual garbage pickups in local parks, his parents were saving soap, reusing tea bags, and making stuffed toys - stuffed with pantyhose! There are more, I just don't remember anymore because I don't see it as all that odd after 15+ years together. His favorite thing about visiting my parents in MI? 10 cents for returnables!

The two things he doesn't get are organic, and non-chemical health/beauty products. But since I make the lists, and do a lot of the shopping, he just goes along with it - even though I think he's probably puzzled. He also doesn't know how much it costs - which is probably a good thing :p