help! solo at bed and bath with two!!

[neeleymartin]

i know that this sounds crazy to some, but i am sooooo worried about going it alone. ds1 is 22months and ds2 in 3weeks.

dh is going back to work after having a month off. boy, was i lucky!!!

typical for murphy is bath (15minutes or so) getting into jammies, then at least 20 minutes of stories. tried to do this the other night and it was a sheer and utter nightmare. kelly is VERY colicky and cannot be put down, eps. at this time of the day (colic parents kwim!!)

any tips to make this time easier would be appreciated. i just purchased a baby k'tan in hopes that the holding will be easier. also pulled the mobile out of the attic (hoping that will captivate kelly for a few). we also have a swing, vibrating bouncy and a play gym mat thing (with arches overhead).

i hate the thought of reading just one book to murphy. he loves this time possibly as much as i do. for those of you that don't know, i eat, sleep and breath reading. teach reading to first graders. i am over the moon in love with books and reading to my guy/s. i simply cannot let this part of the routine go. maybe i will have to shorten it a bit, but i will try my darndest not to.

thanks in advance.

[MamaMolly]

Can you change part of the schedule around? Maybe a bath in the morning? Does DS2 have a set time for his colic-y episodes, and you might do story time before it starts? I wouldn't give up a special time with my DC either, but maybe you can juggle your schedule to make it work.

FWIW my mom once told me that when we were little she'd sometimes just let me holler (I was the baby) and would tell me (for my older sister's benefit) that it was my sister's turn to be with mommy. I turned out fine. ;)

[Momof3Labs]

I'd try to skip the bath on nights you are totally alone (perhaps bathe him in the morning with you instead) but try to keep the books. Will the baby nurse (or take a bottle) while you are reading? I am on my own every third night with my boys, and remember plenty of nights where I sat in DS1's bed with him reading, while nursing DS2. DS2 also liked being in the sling, and I could read to DS1 while slinging DS2.

And if you have to shorten the book part of the routine, remember that it isn't forever. In a few short months (that may be the longest months of your life, I know), you can reestablish the longer book routine.

[SnuggleBuggles]

We're a once a week bath family for the kids and that really frees things up. :) I would look to ditch the nightly bath so you can do more of the other part to the routine.

If I am on my own for bedtime we read on the couch because ds2 was/ is happier in the family room.

You could look to read at other times during the day and just do a quick book at bedtime. You'll get a new routine going and it may work even better.

Beth

[arivecchi]

This was terrifying for me too. DH always tries to be home for this time so we can deal with both boys (29 months and 3 months). However, on those times when I am alone, I try to feed the baby before bedtime, put him in the bouncy seat with a paci and then deal with DS1's bedtime routine. Like PP said, you may have to shorten it at times, but it will get easier as time goes by. I already see the light at the end of the tunnel here! Keep it up. You'll be a pro in no time!

[WatchingThemGrow]

Yep, skip the baths or move them. It's just too hard. Our rule is that no one gets a bath unless there is another parent here to help with the other kid.

We've found that having a bouncy seat/playmat or whatever in the older kid's room for the baby is really helpful when trying to get changed in th pj's or dressed in the morning.

On nights when DH is away, I 1) ask neighbors, friends, relatives for help when we have a newborn or 2) we cut out the non-essentials and squish into the big Dutailier and all read together. It really is fun to do that and it makes it convenient for naptimes when they're on the same schedule.

Totally funny, but I'm a teacher (well, not right now) and I just want to read quickly and get on with stuff. I guess I just need to change out the books. We only have 6 monstrous totes of them stored in the attic and around the house...

Good luck!!!

[maestramommy]

Oh, your baby is so young. I remember that time :hug:

I only had to do it solo a couple of times during that phase, and the only way for me to get around it was to wear Arwyn in a carrier. She was NOT colicky, in fact much more mellow than Dora in that phase, but she HAD to be held. And sometimes she would still cry. Once she started screaming, and I finally discovered it was because her foot was stuck wrong in the meitai :bag Once I freed it, she quieted down immediately. Another time she was just in a foul mood, even though I was holding her in arms. Howled during the whole storytime.

[neeleymartin]

Once she started screaming, and I finally discovered it was because her foot was stuck wrong in the meitai :bag Once I freed it, she quieted down immediately.

oops!! i had to giggle a little, sounds like something that would happen to me.

[neeleymartin]

ok

so i have decided to reschedule the bath. we actually do an outside bath in the warmer months in an old metal tub...my mom's old dog tub, lol. early in the day for that would be better actually. until it's warmer though, morning tubs or not at all.

also liked the idea of readin gon the couch in the family room. you read my mind about not all three not fitting in the chair in ds's room.

keep the advice coming. you guys are the best.

[wellyes]

Do you have stairs? I found that when DD was in the Moby (similar to a Baby K'Tan) up and down the steps a few times = instant sleeping baby. Tough on my new-mama thighs but worth it for the peace it gave me!

[neeleymartin]

Do you have stairs? I found that when DD was in the Moby (similar to a Baby K'Tan) up and down the steps a few times = instant sleeping baby. Tough on my new-mama thighs but worth it for the peace it gave me!

no stairs. but the sling nearly always puts him to sleep. i can usually slip it over my head and place him down. usually the silence lasts about 5 minutes. better than nothing. i guess i will just keep him throughout the bedtime ritual.

[vejemom]

It is kind of tricky, but it can be done. Sometimes I even find that DD#2 has CIO and fallen asleep on the floor while I'm dealing with DD#1. Although I haven't had to do it in awhile, and I'm really dreading it because DD#1 is such a bear to wrangle to sleep these past few weeks.

Totally off topic, but did you ever post on Indiebride, Neeley? I seem to remember someone on there with the same handle - it is so distinctive...

[CiderLogan]

This isn't quite what you are asking, but have you tried having DS1 shower with you? I find it so much easier to have my girls just shower with me (doesn't take much longer...and the baby would have to wait for you during that time anyway) and then you don't have to worry about bathing everyone so frequently. Then you can just do a quick bedtime routine in his room, then all three sit together for stories as long as you like....

[Java]

I do solo baths with 3 kids. Actually, it's more solo showers for the older kids (5.5yo DS1 and 3yo DD) and a bath for baby (7m DS2).

Baby's bedtime is between 6:30pm and 6:45pm so dinner is at 5:15pm. Showers for big kids at 6:00pm. Two kids, two showers at the same time while baby plays on the ground (they used to shower together but there was too much fighting over shower toys so now they shower separately). Get the 5.5yo out and dried. Then he can solo lotion and put on his own clothes while I get DD out and help her. When the older kids are done, they play while I bathe baby.

Baby is done and the older kids have the option of playing quietly in their room, reading in their room, or watch one episode of whichever show of whomever's turn it is to select. Half the time they choose TV, the other they go to their shared room and play.

Baby goes down and it's around 6:30, 6:45pm or so. I give the kids the 5 minute warning to clean their toys and select a book while I tidy up a bit. DS1 spends about 10-15 minutes reading from his Open Court Reader then I read their books. We only do one story each because their books are long. Hugs, kisses and lights off between 7:30pm and 7:45pm.

It's an early night (and ofttimes pretty hectic trying to stay "on schedule") but it has to be because if I miss baby's window, then there's hell to pay.

That's my night. Practically every night.

Solo. I don't know how my mom did it with 5 kids.

[MommyAllison]

When I had to fly solo when DS was tiny, I would wear him or set him down somewhere safe while I did the things that needed two hands (changing DD into dipe & jammies, getting cup of water & vitamins, brushing teeth). Then grab DS and nurse him while reading, singing, praying, and talking with DD. I usually got DS ready for bed first since he'd usually fall asleep nursing while I put DD to bed. It actually went better than I had expected, though I much preferred the nights DH could be home to help. We are a once a week bath family too, so we scheduled bath day around DH's day off.

[klwa]

When DD was about that age I was having to do solo bedtime/bathtime abotu 1ce a week for my two. The only thing I could do to make it work was to put DD in the sling & then deal with DS. DD was comfy cuddled up to me & DS was okay with me having her there. He didn't really like it when it came time to cuddle in bed & read, because Sissy was in the way, but we made it work.

[catpagmo]

I have a 10 week old and a 3 y.o. I recently bought the Symphony in Motion mobile and, I must say, that thing is AMAZING! It allows me around 20 mins of time to do whatever needs to be done. I started using it when DS was around 7 or 8 weeks, and he just loves it. I say pull out your mobile and see if that buys you a bit of time.

I have also nursed the baby while reading to DD, on the couch. DD thought it was fun to have story time in a place other than her bedroom.

Good luck!

[DrSally]

During those first several months, I would read DS his stories while holding DD on the floor. The hardest part for me was the constant nursing or pumping while DS needed me for supper/bedtime, etc. I did baths less frequently with DS for those first few months (it was winter anyway), but when I did, I'd try to do it during DD's nap. Also, DD would wake up really early, like 5:30, so I'd have her up for a little bit and put her down so she'd be sleeping when DS woke up at 7am. Then, DS and I would have a whole hour uninterrupted time for snuggling, reading stories, breakfast, email, etc. before baby woke up. This REALLY helped us for the first 4-5 months.

[egoldber]

I well remember those days. Ugh. Amy was a screamer and a refluxer. CIO was not an option. The ONLY thing that worked for us was for her to be asleep before Sarah's bedtime. It's great now because Amy has a VERY early bedtime, 6/6:15, so she is in bed long before Sarah's bedtime.

[SomeoneLikeYou]

I've always thought a short and sweet bedtime routine, that ANYONE can do, is best for all involved. We did Ferber at 6.5mos and since then we do bath, lotion, pjs, and sing a lullabye twice before putting DD down to bed awake. It takes 20mins from bath to being put down in the crib. I don't do a book as part of her night routine but we do 2 books before each nap.

We also must read at least a dozen books throughout the day out here in the living room while playing.

Can you move your reading time to other parts of the day?

[jren]

The kids bathroom is right next to the nursery (crib is on the other side of wall from water spout). DS2 has an earlier bedtime than DD1, by about an hour. So we feed, rock, read the baby and put him in his crib awake. Then I run the bath water for DD, which puts baby RIGHT to sleep. Works every time!

[neeleymartin]

I well remember those days. Ugh. Amy was a screamer and a refluxer. CIO was not an option. The ONLY thing that worked for us was for her to be asleep before Sarah's bedtime. It's great now because Amy has a VERY early bedtime, 6/6:15, so she is in bed long before Sarah's bedtime.


i love the idea of having kelly asleep before murphy's bedtime. this happened to be what happened tonight, of course dh is home. infants are so unpredictable. if i feed him early enough, and burp him like crazy, i can snuggle him to sleep and hopefully get through bedtime without a hitch.

we started zantac today and perhaps that is why he is so calm and sleepy, it just might be the issue. keep your fingers crossed for me.

[neeleymartin]

Totally off topic, but did you ever post on Indiebride, Neeley? I seem to remember someone on there with the same handle - it is so distinctive...

nope, not me.

[neeleymartin]

well, i did it!! everyone is still alive.

put the little one in his crib with mobile. kept him busy just long enough to turbo read two stories. not my usual but it worked. no tubby for big guy, jammies on little earlier than usual, but he lives. thanks for the great advice. keep the tips coming if you come up with more. you guys rock!!:thumbsup:

[SomeoneLikeYou]

Aw! How wonderful :) Good job, momma!!