How to deal with a horrible news story

[BabyMine]

Warning**** may contain graphic material

I watch the news so I am aware that there maybe stories that are horrific. I was not emotionally prepared for the story today about the death of a 3 month old. I just don't understand. I just dried when I heard about what happened and then scared that my sons are growing up in this world. I know there are atrocities every day but it just hurts worse when it is in my city.

The jest of the story.
A man tossed a 3 month old out of a window of a car on the interstate.

I hear an increase of stories that fathers are killing their family because of the economy. What is happening?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Honestly? I just don't watch the news anymore. I can't take it. If it is important enough to impact me then I will hear about it somewhere but most of those sorts of awful stories aren't normally covered in the media sources I choose to use (NPR, for example).

(((((((((hugs))))))))))) things like that are so hard to hear and think about.

Beth

[lisams]

Yesterday's Oprah did me in (it was about the little girl Madeleine who is missing). DD is about the same age as her, and it really broke my heart into a million pieces. Even today I'm just so sad about it. I need to stop watching these things and focus on all of the good that is happening. It's hard, though.

[TwinFoxes]

Don't watch the local news. I'm serious, they include stories like this that do absolutely no good other than to frighten people or break their hearts. There's a saying in the news biz "if it bleeds it leads." They do it for ratings, period. Read the local paper (easier to skip stories like this if they make the paper), or listen to NPR, or watch the network news.

And this wasn't a story that had anything to do with the economy. This guy was a 21 year old A-h*le with a long rapsheet who got into a fight with the baby's 17 year old mother. With his record he should be in prison for the rest of his life. My goal in life is to give my girls a sense of self-worth so they never ever end up with an A-h*le like this. I want them to have the confidence to know it's better to be alone rather than with a loser.

I am so sorry you're upset by this horrible story. I am too. :(

[maestramommy]

I don't watch local news, and I tend to ignore news articles with horrible headlines.

I also don't read novels if I think the content is too much. Like "The Shack" which my mil read but wisely didn't pass on to me. She told us about it, that was enough.

[wellyes]

NEVER watch the local news. And do not let your kids watch it. My mom actually apologized to me for letting me watch the news when I was little, since I had anxiety issues anyway and a lot of problems were triggered by news stories.

But online can be no better. My homepage featured the murdered 3-month-old -- and also photos of the woman with the first face transplant. Those pictures are absolutely horrifying, especially the "before" pictures. If you ever wondered what a shotgun blast to the face did to a woman, well now you can find out. I feel terrible for that woman but I those photos were .... I wish I had never seen them.

[infomama]

I just saw a local story yesterday about man who put his 4 month old in an oven. Thankfully the pilot wasn't lit and he was high on "wet" (pot dipped in formaldehyde) so he couldn't figure it out. They said he was out of his mind. Thank goodness he was intercepted, fire fighters came (and subdued him until police arrived) and tended to the baby who is fine.

I'm haunted by that story of the father who methodically threw his children off the pier a few years ago...was it California? Tragic.

[JTsMom]

I'm with those who said they avoid these stories. I just can't handle it. It upsets me too much and I can't stop thinking about it for days. Even fictional stuff like Law and Order SVU, which used to be one of my favorite shows, are now on the banned list. Being a mother really changes you in that way imo.

[KBecks]

Oh, that is hard.

For me, I don't really believe that all people are good. Sometimes these things are reminders that evil is present in the world. I think everyone has the potential to be and the ability to be good, but some people choose to do terrible, awful, evil things.

And that's the reality of the world we live in.

A poor economy is no excuse for evil actions. No excuse.

I am afraid that if I ignore all these stories, then I start to think that everyone is nice and wonderful and there is no bad in the world. When in fact, there are people who seek to kill and destroy (9/11 as a prime example). I feel that even though I live in peace and safety, there is much turmoil and terror, and people who want to destroy and hurt others, with no regard for human life. There is a lot of evil in the world.

[KBecks]

I'm with those who said they avoid these stories. I just can't handle it. It upsets me too much and I can't stop thinking about it for days. Even fictional stuff like Law and Order SVU, which used to be one of my favorite shows, are now on the banned list. Being a mother really changes you in that way imo.

I do not watch movies or TV shows that are dark and about killing and evil. Just not what I call entertainment.

[gatorsmom]

I didn't read you OP because I can't handle sad stories anymore. They haunt me for years. I still remember one DH told me a few years ago.

I get my news from the internet. TV news is terribly sensationalistic. Of all the news stories they could report on, they highlight the most shocking and scary. It's all about making money.

[secchick]

I don't usually watch the local news but I have to be very careful reading the local newspaper online. I made the mistake of clicking on one link regarding the testimony in the Baby Grace/Riley Ann Sawyers trial (which was local) and I became physically ill. I swore off all new sources until my husband told me the trial was over. I don't think a lot of these horrifying incidents are really "news".

[MamaMolly]

Oh, that is hard.

For me, I don't really believe that all people are good. Sometimes these things are reminders that evil is present in the world. I think everyone has the potential to be and the ability to be good, but some people choose to do terrible, awful, evil things.

And that's the reality of the world we live in.

A poor economy is no excuse for evil actions. No excuse.

I am afraid that if I ignore all these stories, then I start to think that everyone is nice and wonderful and there is no bad in the world. When in fact, there are people who seek to kill and destroy (9/11 as a prime example). I feel that even though I live in peace and safety, there is much turmoil and terror, and people who want to destroy and hurt others, with no regard for human life. There is a lot of evil in the world.

You said this so much better than I could have, and I really appreciate and needed to hear the sentiment of the second paragraph especially. I tend to live in a 'happy bubble'. It is even a joke among my family.

But as I get older and now having DD I really have started to believe in Evil as an actual thing. A force just as real as Good which I totally, wholly believe in. For a long time I thought people who did bad things were sick or mentally unbalanced (like a chemical thing) but now I believe that the reality is that some people are simply evil.

I also don't like to watch TV shows or read news articles about this kind of thing. Even made up stuff is kind of like a port-hole for evil to come into your home and into your mind. I know it sounds silly, but why open yourself to evil intentions?? Those stories, real or fiction, where vile things happen...there is a reason you can't get them out of your mind. IMO it is the strength and power of evil that keeps them in your head, reliving them, re-traumatizing you.

Like the 9/11 film footage. The news kept showing it over and over and over, and so many of the first graders I taught at the time thought it was happening again and again. They didn't realize it was the same thing repeated. Very, very traumatic.

I never realized how bad the news is for children until I was over having dinner at a student's house (pre DD) and there was a news story involving someone being intentionally hurt with a hammer. THe news anchor first held up a fairly small tack hammer, then held up a totally HUGE hammer. Even though the volume was off it was clear she was comparing how much damage could have been caused by which size hammer. It was wrenchingly graphic, and completely, totally unnecessary. Had NOTHING to do with the news and everything to do with sensationalizing a tragedy.

Bleck. Going back in the bubble now, but will poke my head out occasionally for a reality check. Promise...

[kijip]

I think it is too easy to blame it on evil. People, faced with a myriad of choices, choose to do these things. It's on the person, not a force of evil.

In a down economy people commit suicide and murder-suicide in somewhat larger numbers. It's not just the economy (obviously there are other issues when someone is ready to do something like that) but it is undeniable that in any serious downturn, there is more strife in families, a possible exacerbation of any underlying mental health issues and an increased feeling of hopelessness.

Not only do crimes like murder increase a bit, but child abuse and domestic violence increase quite a bit as well. This is not a new thing, not a product of a scarier world than we have had before. My advice? Don't let a bad economy stop us from supporting solutions and resources for these problems- people need a place to turn when they or perhaps their partner has reached the end of the rope.

And I agree with the PPs- watching local news rots the brain and breaks the heart. Sooooo rare to hear an ACTUAL news item on the local news, to say nothing of a story done in enough depth to give the viewer any useful information. If it is not hype and in the victim's face trauma, it is all but useless information.

[pinkmomagain]

I do avoid the news and we don't receive newspapers at home...People magazine is as bad as it gets around here. We sometimes watch a 48 hrs or something similar and it disturbs me...like the one this past Sat nite with a couple murdered on a boat. Pure evil.

Unfortunately, we were recently touched in my community with a man who killed his wife, two beautiful daughters and himself due to financial difficulties. These people were well-respected in my community. The youngest went to dd's school, and let me tell you, it was a horrible thing for 11-14 year olds to deal with....having to picture their schoolmate's last moments and the hands of a parent. Truly scarring. This story could not have been avoided for those students by simply turning off the news....it was discussed at school. Luckily, time passing helps and young minds are flexible and resilient and easily distractable.

[chinook]

I just skimmed the OP's post and haven't read any others.

I never, ever, ever watch TV news. It's gross and upsetting. They totally exploit the most heinous and shocking stories for the ratings.

I read the paper (OK, mostly just the entertainment section :)). I find the paper is much more low key.

[kayte]

Warning**** may contain graphic material

I watch the news so I am aware that there maybe stories that are horrific. I was not emotionally prepared for the story today about the death of a 3 month old. I just don't understand. I just dried when I heard about what happened and then scared that my sons are growing up in this world. I know there are atrocities every day but it just hurts worse when it is in my city.

The jest of the story.
A man tossed a 3 month old out of a window of a car on the interstate.

I hear an increase of stories that fathers are killing their family because of the economy. What is happening?

I don't live in Florida but this story made CNN online. What really got to me is that this man was NOT related to the baby--it was the baby of his exgirlfriend--and when he was arrested and asked by the press if he did it-- he replied "It's a dirty game. A dirty game."

What is that????? Yes it freaks me out too that DD is growing up in a world like that...